There'll Be Bluebirds

Andromeda levitated a wicker laundry basket piled high with Hogwarts uniforms in front of her as she climbed the stairs. Teddy was lying across his bed surrounded by untidy stacks of clean socks and underpants. A pile of textbooks, quills, bottles of ink, and parchment littered the floor next to his open trunk. 'Teddy! You were supposed to put your things in your trunk!' she exclaimed in dismay.

Teddy unconcernedly turned a page of Remus' journal. 'Just a mo, Gran,' he murmured. 'Just want to finish this page...'

'The train leaves in the morning, Ted,' she reminded him. 'With or without you on it.'

Teddy slammed the journal shut and flung it aside. 'All right, Gran! Keep your hair on.'

'I want your things in your trunk before you come down for dinner,' Andromeda warned. 'Make sure your textbooks are in the bottom, please. I don't want your clothes to be nothing but a mass of wrinkles by the time you unpack tomorrow night.' She set the laundry basket on the end of Teddy's bed. 'And don't forget your toothbrush.'

'Gran, I'm not an ickle firstie...' Teddy groaned.

'Oh?' Andromeda replied archly. 'And who was it that insisted he was grown up enough to pack his things on his own last year and forgot half his underpants, his toothbrush, and all of his socks? Was that you?'

I dunno,' Teddy grunted, dropping his textbooks into the trunk. 'I seem to have blocked last year out of my mind.'

'The list of what you need to pack is on the desk,' Andromeda trilled as she left the room.

'Brilliant,' Teddy mumbled, as he picked up the journal once more.

'Oh, and Teddy?' Andromeda's peered around the edge of the door. Teddy jerked the journal behind his back.

'Yeah?' he asked casually.

'Try being a little nicer to Victoire this year. She's not something you'd wipe off the bottom of your shoe, young man.'

'Fine,' Teddy huffed, gathering up large handfuls of socks, preparatory to throwing them into the gaping trunk. When Andromeda disappeared around the door again, he dropped the socks in the middle of the bed, and picked up the journal.

*****

Sirius hunched at one end of the table, his arms crossed over his chest, glowering at the burn mark left on the table when Fred and George had magicked a cauldron of stew to the table last summer. His lips were pressed together in a thin, hard line and his eyes were flat and shuttered. Remus slid into a chair next to him and gently touched his arm. The muscles bunched as Sirius jerked away, the chair scraping noisily over the stone floor. Remus sighed and laced his fingers together and rested them on the table. 'What is it, then?' he asked, too familiar with Sirius' mood swings to take offense.

'Nothing.'

Remus merely raised an eyebrow. 'Oh?' He eyed Sirius' increasingly tense posture. 'This doesn't look like nothing.'

Other members of the Order began to file into the kitchen. 'Later,' Sirius mumbled, his shoulders tightening.

Kingsley settled into a chair at the head of the table, the de facto leader of Order when Dumbledore wasn't in attendance, an event that occurred with alarming frequency of late. 'Harry, the Weasley children, and Hermione Granger need to return to school on Sunday,' he began.

'Can't they just take the train back?' Hestia Jones wondered.

'They could,' Kingsley allowed. 'But it's too open to attack. As Remus can attest.'

Heads turned to look at Remus for confirmation. 'The year I taught Defense, the train was stopped by a group of Dementors and searched before we reached Hogwarts. It's not too far of conclusion to believe that Voldemort or any of the Death Eaters might be able to do the same.'

'And it's an awfully long journey,' Molly added nervously, glancing at the door. Remus hid a grin, knowing she was looking for Extendable Ears and flicked his wand at the door, silently setting an Imperturbable charm on it. 'Too risky,' she added.

'And Dumbledore doesn't want them on the train,' Kingsley interjected.

'The Floo is also out,' Mad-Eye said wearily. 'It's being watched by Umbridge, and if we Flooed the children directly into Minerva's office, it could lead her here.'

'And there's already been one close call,' Molly sniffed, her eyes flicking toward Sirius. He sank even further into the chair, an impressive feat, given the solid mahogany back of it.

'Apparition?' Emmeline Vance volunteered.

'For six teenagers?' Elphias Doge scoffed. 'There's six of them, plus luggage.'

'But it's untraceable,' Hestia argued.

'We can keep that in mind,' Kingsley said quickly, in an attempt to forestall an argument. 'It'll require a great deal of coordination to get them from here to Hogsmeade without drawing attention to ourselves. But I think it should be an option of last resort.'

'Knight Bus?' Tonks offered. 'It's fairly quick and it'll only take two or three of us.'

'That is how Hermione got here,' Molly said thoughtfully. 'Train doesn't leave Hogsmeade until the Saturday after the term ends, but she got here... when?'

'The Friday term ended,' Sirius supplied. 'Right before dinner.'

'And I'll bet if we can slip a little gold to the driver, he can move us to the top of the list,' Tonks said cynically.

Molly bit her lip and stared at the table. 'It's a bit dear, though, isn't it?' she said hesitantly. Remus knew she and Arthur hated to accept anything that might be considered charity, and calculated the cost of transporting the four Weasley children. While forty-four Sickles might not seem like much to most, it amounted to a fortune to Molly and Arthur.

'I have authorization from Dumbledore to use funds from his vault to cover the costs,' Kingsley said. 'When he and I discussed the means to bring the children back to Hogwarts.'

'When did you do this?' Emmeline asked.

'Before Christmas,' Kingsley said smoothly.

'I can't allow him to do that,' Molly maintained stubbornly.

'Why not?' Elphias asked.

'Because they're my children, and if we use the Knight Bus, Arthur and I will pay for their fares,' Molly nearly shouted.

'Molly, don't be an idiot,' Sirius blurted rudely. 'You're being watched as a member of the bloody Order. Do you really think they'll be safe as babes in arms on the train? Is your bloody pride going to protect them?'

Tight silence descended over the table. Sirius tipped his chair back and glared at the ceiling, while Molly sat, pale with shock, dumbfounded.

'It's Order business, Molly,' Kingsley intoned into the silence. 'And considering Ron is one of Harry's closest friends, he's in just as much danger.'

Molly's shaking hand passed over her eyes and she nodded. 'Fine,' she acquiesced, with great reluctance.

'Good,' Kingsley stated. 'Tonks, you'll go with them?'

'Yeah.'

'You need another person,' Mad-Eye growled. 'Keeping an eye on Harry and Ron is a full-time occupation.'

'I'll go,' Remus volunteered.

'Get them on the bus as early as possible. The sooner they're back at school, the easier we'll all breathe,' Kingsley ordered.

'Right after breakfast,' Tonks promised.

'I'll have the gold for the Knight Bus tomorrow afternoon,' Kingsley told her. 'You'll need to stay at work late so I can slip it to you without arousing suspicion.' He looked around the table. 'That's it, then.' The rest of the Order members slipped out singly or in twos. Tonks lingered at the door, but Remus tilted his head toward Sirius. She nodded, and left, blundering into the umbrella stand. Remus could hear Tonks cursing at Mrs. Black's portrait over her insane screeches.

Molly slowly followed Tonks to the door, throwing a baleful glance at Sirius over her shoulder as she left the kitchen.

Remus flicked his wand at the dresser and a teapot landed delicately in front of him. He tapped it with his wand and steam drifted from the spout. Another flick brought two cups from the dresser and he poured tea into each cup. 'So?' he asked, pushing a cup toward Sirius.

'Nothing,' Sirius said, pulling his feet into the seat of the chair and wrapping his arms around his knees. He rested a cheek against his bent knees in a pose Remus recognized from school, when Sirius was pouting about something he couldn't control. Taking a guess, Remus reckoned Sirius was upset Harry had to leave once more. He'd been the same way in the days leading up to September first.

'Harry can't stay here,' Remus said quietly.

'I know that,' Sirius muttered.

'Do you?'

Sirius looked away and murmured something Remus couldn't quite hear.

'I'm sorry, what was that?'

'Nothing.' Sirius bit his lip and stared into the cup of tea on the table. His neck flushed dully, but Remus could have sworn he'd heard Sirius admit to being lonely. Out of all the other Order members, Remus was the one without a regular job, so in between his tutoring sessions with some poor Muggle child attempting to earn a GCSE - the boy desperately wanted to take his A-levels and go to Cambridge, just like his father - he was either on patrol in the Department of Mysteries or keeping an eye on known or suspected Death Eaters. It didn't give him a great deal of free time to spend with Sirius. And what time he had, Remus knew wasn't enough.

'Listen, I haven't got anything tomorrow evening. I've got tutoring in the morning and the Ministry in the afternoon, but I can come round after dinner...?'

'Yeah, if you want.' Sirius set his feet on the floor and shoved away from the table. The sounds of his footfalls changed from the soft patter of his slippers on the stairs to the sharp clicks of Padfoot's claws.

Remus sighed heavily and followed the drooping tail up the stairs. 'Sirius!' he hissed. The dog ignored him. 'Padfoot!' The dog paused on the landing, whimpering softly, his pale eyes fixed on the floor. 'I'll be here tomorrow.'

Padfoot's tail wagged once; and he disappeared into the inky shadows of the staircase.

*****

The air was heavy and tense inside the kitchen of number twelve Grimmauld Place when Remus walked inside the next evening. 'What's going on?'

Arthur glanced up from the remains of their dinner that still littered the table. 'Severus was here earlier.'

'Whatever for?' Remus dropped into a chair, and examined what remained of a large shepherd's pie. He waved his wand at the dresser and caught the plate deftly as it floated toward him, then spooned some of the shepherd's pie on it.

'Dumbledore wants him to teach Harry Occlumency,' Sirius muttered. 'To keep Voldemort out of his mind.'

'And you're not overly fond of the idea,' Remus stated, pushing a potato around the plate.

'I just don't trust Snivellus,' Sirius retorted.

'Dumbledore trusts him,' Molly said, waving her wand over the table. The other plates zoomed to the sink and began to scrape themselves into the dustbin in the corner, then stacked neatly in the sink, where a dishcloth began to scrub them.

Sirius and Remus exchanged a look. 'It's just that Severus and Harry's father didn't quite get on very well in school,' Remus told Molly and Arthur. 'And, Occlumency and Legilimency feed on strong emotions. And Harry, well...'

'Wears his emotions on his sleeve,' Arthur finished. 'And you think Severus would manipulate that, just because of some schoolboy grudge?'

'Exploit it,' Remus corrected. 'Harry didn't have the easiest time of things before he came to Hogwarts, and Severus could very well force him to reveal things he'd rather not reveal. Especially if he feels ashamed or embarrassed by an event.' Remus took a bite of his dinner and chewed it slowly.

'Honestly,' Molly huffed. 'Isn't that just a wee bit childish?'

'Yes, it is,' Remus said mildly. 'But James was responsible for several of Severus' most humiliating moments when we were younger...'

'And I wouldn't put it past him to gain a little revenge,' Sirius spat.

'It's still childish,' Molly maintained. 'He's a grown man.'

'Yeah, well...' Sirius tipped his chair back. 'Immaturity knows no age limit.'

Molly made a muffled choking noise.

'Are you all right, Molly?' Arthur asked with concern.

'Yes, dear.' She turned Arthur's wrist over and studied his watch. 'Early start to our day tomorrow. We ought to get to bed.'

'I'll wash the plate, Molly,' Remus told her as she rose from the table. 'Good night.' He waited until he couldn't hear their footsteps any longer and turned to Sirius. 'That was nice of her to not point out your level of immaturity,' he said casually.

'I am not immature!' Sirius huffed.

'As a whole, no, but you have your moments, you mangy mutt.' Remus quietly ate the rest of his dinner while watching Sirius carefully. 'I gather Severus told you himself about the Occlumency lessons.'

'He bloody well gloated about it,' Sirius snarled.

Remus stood up, his chair scraping loudly over the floor. He carried the plate to the sink and began to wash it. He picked up a tea towel and dried the plate thoroughly. 'What do you want?' he asked. 'You are Harry's legal guardian. You have every right to make decisions regarding Harry's care and safety.' He set the plate on top of the stack Molly had set to wash earlier and Banished them one by one to the cupboard on the other side of the room.

'That's not fair,' Sirius said.

'What's not?'

'Safety.' Sirius said the word as if it was something that tasted unpleasant. 'You know I'd not do anything to deliberately put Harry at risk.'

Remus folded the damp tea towel and draped it over the edge of the sink to dry. 'I'm not too chuffed about Severus teaching Harry Occlumency any more than you are, and I'm also inclined to believe he's going to try and use it to make Harry's life as miserable as he can.'

'But it's a necessary evil,' Sirius spat. 'I wish...'

'What?'

'I wish I wasn't stuck here. I'd love to...' Sirius trailed off, his brows drawing together.

'Sirius?'

'The mirrors!' he exclaimed. 'I can't believe I forgot about them. Do you still have them?'

'What mirrors?'

'The ones Prongsie and I used to talk to each other when we had separate detentions!'

'I think so. I didn't throw anything of yours out after...' Remus made a vague gesture meant to encompass Sirius' imprisonment in Azkaban.

'I want to give one to Harry. That way we can keep an eye on him. We can't talk through the Floo and he can't write to us. And unless Harry uses the mirror in the open, it's fairly secure.' Remus felt a doubtful expression settle over his face. He didn't have the heart to tell Sirius that his scheme depended on Harry's willingness to actually use the thing. Sirius tried one last tactic. 'He can use it in his DA meetings,' he wheedled. 'We can offer suggestions and you can teach them again.'

His arrow hit its mark. Remus shook his head. 'Low blow, Pads,' he murmured, grinning. But the opportunity to teach Defense once more was tempting. 'I'll look for them when I get home.'

*****

11 January 1996

When you're young, you think - believe - that everything will get easier when you get older. It just gets more complicated.

Such profundity, no?

When did such a simple thing as returning to school after the Christmas holiday become such a complex undertaking? I do realize the situation has changed. I'm not completely gormless, but an event like that ought to be spent on the train with everyone else, making a ruckus and eating too many sweets. It shouldn't be some cheerless covert activity.

I must remember to have a word with Sirius. He needs to apologize to Arthur and Molly. Yes, it needed to be said, because Arthur is quite stubborn about that sort of thing, and normally I'd agree with him, but in this instance allowing someone else to pay for the twins, Ginny, and Ron is necessary. However correct the message was, the tone was unnecessary.

Somehow, I can't shake the feeling that we were expertly manipulated into transporting the children back to school by the very means Dumbledore wanted. Although I'm not sure who was pulling the strings - Dumbledore or Kingsley. If it was Kingsley, he did a superb job of it. I'm not sure anybody realized they were being nudged to where we were supposed to end up until after it was all said and done. A wise decision on his part, considering we as a group prefer not to be given orders peremptorily. At the very least, we can claim it was "our" idea.

Sirius' idea to give one of his mirrors to Harry is a rather brilliant idea. I wish he had thought of it sooner. If Harry checks in regularly, it might make Sirius feel as if he's more involved in not only the Order, but with Harry.

As for the Occlumency lessons... Why Severus? I know Severus is quite skilled at Occlumency and knows better than any of us how to use it effectively, but will he be able to set aside his feelings about James and, by extension, Harry so he doesn't make it impossible for Harry to learn how to keep Voldemort out of his mind? I know Dumbledore trusts Severus implicitly, and that means we ought to as well, but still... In the back of my mind l can't help but doubt his intentions.

*****

Remus trudged into the kitchen and accepted the cup of tea Tonks pushed toward him gratefully. He pulled a package wrapped in brown paper out of his jacket pocket. 'Here,' he mumbled, handing it to Sirius and yawning. 'Found it between some of my books. Took most of the night to track it down.'

'What is that?' Molly asked curiously, with a slight hint of suspicion.

'It's a way for Harry to contact us,' Sirius told her resignedly. 'Without the Ministry or Umbridge knowing about it.'

'That's actually a good idea,' Arthur murmured.

'You don't unconditionally trust Severus, either, do you?' Remus asked.

Arthur spread jam over a slice of toast. 'Dumbledore does,' he said thoughtfully.

'But you don't,' Remus replied bluntly.

'It's not that I don't trust him,' Arthur said slowly. 'I just...' He shook his head, shrugging helplessly.

'Bit hard to take when you know he can sift through your memories without you knowing,' Tonks said suddenly. She reached for a piece of toast and nibbled the edges. 'Legilimency isn't even routinely taught to Aurors. And he can do it so you'd never know he just did it.'

'How do you know that?' Remus asked, surprised.

'Got caught out of bounds at the end of my sixth year,' she said, blushing slightly. 'Snape heard me trying to sneak back into the Hufflepuff dormitory. Asked me what I was doing out after curfew.' She glanced at Molly and Arthur before returning her gaze to the abandoned toast in her hand. 'At any rate, I tried to give him some story about losing track of time, but I was looking at him. And you know how his eyes get all intense when he's questioning a student?'

'I do,' Remus murmured.

'I couldn't feel anything for certain,' Tonks continued, 'but I had to restrain myself from squirming. Like he knew I was lying...'

The kitchen door opened, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione stopped just inside the door. Molly stood up and forced a smile, their conversation clearly over. 'What would you lot like for breakfast, dears?'

*****

The Knight Bus lurched to a screeching halt outside the gates that led to Hogwarts. Remus swallowed heavily, silently commiserating with poor Madam Marsh who'd gotten off the previous stop. Not quite willing to believe that he wasn't going to end up with his breakfast on the floor of the bus, Remus motioned to Fred and George to exit the bus and followed them, relieved when his feet hit solid ground. 'Never again,' he muttered, wiping his mouth with the back of a hand.

'You and me both,' George agreed, pale under his freckles, giving the violently purple bus a rude hand gesture.

The others filed off the bus and Remus went to each of them, shaking hands, reminding them to keep up with their studies. 'Look after yourselves.' He came to Harry at the end of the line. 'And listen... Harry, I know you don't like Snape, but he is a superb Occlumens and we all - Sirius included - want you to learn to protect yourself, so work hard, all right?' He winced inwardly. It sounded as if he were trying to convince himself of Severus' good intentions.

Harry nodded, his eyes flashing with something like dread, and he trudged up the icy lane, following the others.

Remus turned to Tonks as the Knight Bus lumbered away. 'Fancy a drink?'

Tonks glanced at her watch. 'It's not even noon!'

'After that trip, it might as well be five in the afternoon,' Remus quipped. 'If nothing else Madam Rosmerta'll give us a nice cuppa.'

Tonks examined Remus for a moment. 'All right.' She shifted a small knapsack that bulged with what appeared to be books. Remus had thought it belonged to Hermione.

'Did Hermione forget her bag?'

'No, it's mine...' At that moment, Tonks slipped on an icy patch and went sprawling. The bag flew out of her hand and the books spilled into the snow. Remus held out a hand and helped her to her feet, then stooped to retrieve the books from the snow. The worn titles caught his attention.

'What are these?'

'Nothing.' She blushed furiously and snatched the books from his arms, stuffing them unceremoniously into her knapsack.

'Why are you reading books about human-to-animal transformation?'

Tonks struck off down the lane for Hogsmeade. 'Don't you want that tea?'

'Why are you researching Animagus magic?'

'Because Sirius said it helped,' she admitted tightly. 'That it helped you during the full moon.'

Remus stared at the back of her head, then ran after her, sliding a bit in the icy mud. He reached for her hand, wrapping his cold fingers around hers. He didn't say anything, but gently squeezed her fingers. He brought her hand up to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist, exposed between the edge of her coat sleeve and glove.

*****

12 January 1996

I don't think I can continue to insist to myself that I only want Dora as a friend.

I do want more.

There, I've admitted it.

Now what am I supposed to do?

*****

Teddy peered into his trunk, and checked off each item on the list his grandmother had made. He reached for the photograph of his parents Andromeda had given him and started to tuck it between his jumpers, but he paused and studied the photograph. Andromeda had told him it was taken shortly after he was born. It was a completely unguarded moment, with his father's arms wrapped around his mother and himself as a baby tucked between them. Remus' forehead rested against Dora's and Teddy felt they had been unaware of photographer, dancing almost imperceptibly, swaying to music he couldn't hear.

He set the photograph tenderly in his truck and wrapped an extra jumper around it, lest it break during the trip to Scotland. As he closed the lid, he caught sight of the journal sitting in the middle of his bed. Without pausing to examine the impulse, he slid the journal into the trunk, even though he'd decided not to take it with him to school, and closed the lid gently, as if he might wake someone if he let it fall too loudly.

*****

A/N: Remus' farewell to Harry appears on pg. 527 of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, published by Scholastic, hardcover edition.