Remember You

Remember You

Chapter Four

~~~~~

A deep rumbling from the pit of his stomach is what woke Harry. His emerald eyes snapped open and he grabbed his stomach. “Oh,” he moaned in despair. “I’m so hungry!”

“Well, you’ve been out for a day! It’s no wonder you’re hungry,” came a soft voice from the left of the Gryffindor. Said Gryffindor turned blurry eyes and saw two red heads sitting beside his bed. One of them handed him his glasses, so he put them on to see Ron and Charlie looking at him with nervousness and worry apparent. “What the bloody hell happened to you, Harry?” Ron exclaimed. “Why would you just pass out for a whole day?”

“I was... dizzy and then somebody... carried me in...” Harry furrowed his brow, trying desperately to remember who it was that had carried him to bed but recalled nothing. It was a blank memory, as if it had never happened. Maybe it had all been a dream. “Somebody carried me in and told to me rest.”

“Who?” Charlie asked curiously.

“I don’t remember. He was nice though and...” Harry trailed off as his bedroom door opened to let Hermione, Sirius, and Draco in.

“You’re finally up!” Sirius exclaimed happily. “What happened, Harry?” The green-eyed boy closed his eyes and shook his head a little. Charlie, seeing his distress informed the group of what Harry had just said, as Hermione and Draco came to his bedside.

“Hey,” Harry whispered to Draco. He wanted to take Draco’s hand, but since Charlie did not know of their relationship, they had to settle for sitting close together. The Gryffindor chuckled inwardly as Draco got so close he was practically sitting on top of his boyfriend.

“I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doing... just fainting like that, but I don’t think you should be allowed to do that anymore,” Draco said in all seriousness. Hermione tutted and batted the back of Draco’s head.

“Would you stop about that? Harry can’t help if he fainted. He obviously did for a reason, now didn’t he?”

“Pootter,” Draco whined, rubbing the back of head. Harry noticed, with some disappointment, that his boyfriend’s hair was back to normal. “This is why you can’t do this to me anymore! I’ve been stuck with a whole lot of Gryffindors these past two days!”

“Malfoy... I’m a Gryffindor as well.”

“Now, I know you are a Slytherin at heart. You began to tell me something last term about me having no idea about you being close to a Slytherin. I know there’s something that you’ve wanted to tell me.”

“Shut up, Draco!” Harry glanced nervously between his two best friends. He had never divulged that information that he had almost been a Slytherin to them. To Draco’s credit, everybody in the room was now at full attention, staring at him, waiting for him to elaborate.

“What’s he blabbing about, Harry?” Ron asked, a little miffed that Harry had kept something from him.

“Yes, what’s this about Slytherins?” Sirius inquired.

“Good Lord. I wake up to the bloody Spanish Inquisition,” Harry muttered.

“Come on, Harry,” Draco goaded. “Do tell us.”

Harry made a disgruntled sound in the back of his throat, glaring heavily at his boyfriend. “Fine! The Sorting Hat wanted to put me in Slytherin but I begged it not to, okay? I’m supposed to be in Slytherin! Is everybody happy now?”

“No!”

“Yes!” Both Ron and Draco exclaimed at the same time. “I knew I wasn’t wrong about you, Harry!” Draco crowed happily. “That must be why I like you! You are a Slytherin!” Harry turned wide eyes toward Charlie for a moment to see how he had taken that statement. Apparently, Charlie had not caught on as to which way Draco meant that he liked Harry.

“No, he’s not!” Ron exclaimed hotly. “He’s a Gryffindor! Harry, you’ve got to be kidding me! Why would the hat have wanted you in Slytherin? I mean, your parents were both in Gryffindor!”

“Look, Ron, it isn’t that big of a deal because, obviously, I’m not in Slytherin. It only wanted me there in the first place because Voldemort passed his powers to me when he tried to kill me the first time as a baby. Now if we’re done here, I’d like to go get some food.” That said, Harry threw back his covers and began to trek his way out of his room and to the kitchens, but Sirius held him back.

“You should just stay here for a bit longer today just in case you’re not better. Poppy Pomfrey came over yesterday and didn’t see anything wrong with you so we can’t say if you’re even better yet.”

Harry jerked his arm out of the tight grip and glared. “Just because I’ve been out for one day, doesn’t mean I’m not any less angry with you. You may have gotten the chance to get used to the idea of me knowing that you were the one who set Dudley up to be my friend, but I haven’t! You should have told somebody that he was in danger! But you didn’t. Just... leave me be.” He turned towards his friends. “Come with me,” he ordered them sternly. Seeing that there was no room for argument, the two Gryffindors and one Slytherin hurried after Harry, Ron and Hermione sending apologetic looks towards Sirius. Draco merely shrugged and ran after Harry. The group of four hurried to the kitchens where the ten house elves immediately surrounded them, asking them how they could help. Harry requested what they had served earlier for breakfast and sat at a table. The other three followed and sat cautiously beside him, causing Harry to laugh in amusement.

“I don’t know what you three are being so cautious about. It’s not like I’m mad at you three.”

“Well, Harry,” Hermione ventured cautiously. “If Sirius hadn’t had so much on his mind at the time, I’m sure he would have remembered Dudley. I don’t think you should take your anger out on him.”

“What would you know?” Harry snapped. “Have you ever lost a family member?”

“Well... no, but--”

“But nothing! You don’t know how it feels to live without a real family! You don’t know what it feels like to have the only family you have left taken away from you just because somebody didn’t remember!”

“Harry, I think you’re being a little unfair. I mean, for one, you weren’t even that close to Dudley,” Ron said just as cautiously as Hermione. “Just--”

Harry was now seething with anger. “Just because I wasn’t as close to him as I am with you, Ron, doesn’t mean I don’t miss him any less. The Dursleys are my only living blood relatives if you haven’t noticed. I have a right to be angry when one of them is viciously murdered! Look, this subject is closed. We’re not talking about it anymore.”

“Harry,” Draco began.

“I’m not speaking to you either!”

“But I didn’t do--”

“I don’t care. Just don’t talk.”

Draco scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. Harry began to ignore all three of his friends and stared ahead broodingly. Before any of his thoughts became too involved, a movement on the other side of the room caught his eye and in the next moment, Sierra’s head peeked around a corner and she giggled when she saw Harry. He smiled faintly back at her and stood up. “Where are you going, Harry?” Ron asked.

“I’ll be back. Hold on.” He hurried across the room and around the corner to where Sierra had just disappeared to. He found himself in a small hallway with a few torches lighting the way and he only needed to walk a few paces before Sierra jumped in front of him, making him jump back, startled.

“Why you little,” he growled out teasingly.

She flung her arms around him in a tight hug and giggled some more. “Hello, Harry. Are you feeling better?”

“Yes, much better, thank you. What are you doing by yourself in the kitchens?” he inquired.

“Oh, I’m not alone, silly. Me and Austin are playing hide and seek. He’s supposed to be finding me.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you a little old to be playing that?”

“Of course,” she replied haughtily. “But we were bored and mummy told us of this game so we decided to give it a shot.” Sierra pulled away from him and stared up at him with her large green eyes. “Are you angry with Sirius, Harry?”

“Yes, how did you know?”

“Because I heard you telling daddy before you passed out.” Something clicked in Harry’s head. So, it was his father who had carried him to bed. Now, it made sense. Harry smiled and began to pull the younger girl’s hair into a ponytail.

“You always know everything, don’t you?”

“Of course. I think you should apologize to Paddy for yelling at him. He never meant to hurt anybody. I should think that you know that, Harry.”

“Gotcha!” a boy yelled out as he came from behind another corner and grabbed Sierra’s sides and began tickling her. Sierra squealed in surprise and then laughter as she was tickled without mercy.

“Harry! Help me!” she squealed.

He smiled and stepped forward. “Now, now, Austin,” he scolded playfully. “You have to play fair.” Quick as lightning, he reached out and grabbed the young girl and brought her to him in a protective hold.

Austin stood to his full height, which was a few inches shorter than Harry, and mock glared. “Merlin, Harry, you’re no fun.” Austin’s hazel eyes twinkled as he tucked his auburn hair behind his ears. He growled in frustration. “I’m beginning to think mum is right about me needing a haircut. I’m really getting sick of this mess.”

“Oh, it’s not so bad. But Sierra does want to cut her hair before going to Hogwarts this fall so maybe you both can get a haircut before we leave for school.”

Austin got a devilish gleam in his eye as he looked down at Sierra. “That’s right. I believe Harry... that we’ve got an ickle firstie on our hands. Whatever shall we do with her?”

Harry took a step back, studying the girl in mock contemplation. “Well, we could always do something about her now, or wait until we get to Hogwarts... get her into trouble and convince Filch that Dumbledore ruled that he is allowed to hang students by their ankles again.”

“No!” Sierra gasped. “Please don’t, Harry! I always thought you were the nice one!”

“Hey! I resent that!” Austin exclaimed.

“Well, it is true, mate,” Harry smiled. “I am the nicer one.”

The auburn hair boy grinned and slapped Harry on the back. “If that’s true, then you’ll get me a spot on the Quidditch team this year, won’t you?”

“We’ll see. I think it is about time since you are a fifth year and all that. But... I don’t know if I’m that nice,” Harry grinned.

“I agree,” Austin nodded, suddenly becoming serious. “You aren’t that nice. You really should forgive Sirius. He didn’t mean it and he really feels terrible.”

“Okay! I know! I’ll apologize for yelling at him. I already knew that it wasn’t his fault, but still. It’s hard.”

“I know. But you have got a lot of people around that love you. You always have me and Sierra around... and ahem... Draco.” Austin wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Harry smacked him upside the head.

“Shut up. I know.”

“Harry? Where did you go?” Draco yelled suddenly.

“Speaking of the devil,” Sierra said. “You should go. I still want to play hide and seek.”

Harry hesitated, wanting to play with them. He really did not want to go in there with his friends again. “I’ll play with you two.”

“No. You have to go apologize to people, including your friends because you yelled at them,” Austin scolded.

“But...” Harry protested. Quite unexpectedly, Sierra began pinching him causing him to yelp and back away, the way he had come from. “Stop it, you little she-devil!” She continued to pinch so he turned around and ran with her hot on his tail. He ran back out into the kitchens laughing to see Draco staring at him incredulously from the table.

“What the bloody hell are you laughing about, Potter?”

Harry slowed down and frowned, looked behind him to notice that Sierra was no longer there, and then he turned back. “Why do you always have to call me Potter? I have a name.”

“I know that, Harry. What were you laughing about?”

“Nothing. It was none of your business. Where’d Ron and Hermione go?”

“Hermione went to the loo and Ron had to go ask his brother something.”

Harry approached Draco with a small smile. “So... we’re alone?”

“For the time being,” Draco replied cautiously. Harry smirked and straddled Draco’s lap. The blond squeaked a little in surprise but then regained his composure after realising what he did. The Gryffindor could not help but smile and lean forward to place a small kiss on his boyfriend’s lips.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier, Draco,” he whispered against his lips. “I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you.”

“Damn straight.” Harry kissed him again, slowly and gently, but he became more forceful after a few moments and thrust his tongue into Draco’s mouth, kissing him brutally. When Draco whimpered, Harry took it as encouragement and began moving his hips into Draco’s slowly but firmly. As Harry twined his fingers into Draco’s silky hair, Draco’s arms fell limp at his sides and he whimpered again. Draco began pulling his mouth from Harry’s so he dropped his own mouth and began devouring the Slytherin’s smooth neck. “Please,” Draco whimpered.

“What?” Harry breathed.

“Please... please stop, Harry.”

Harry blinked and he slowly moved his head up to face the boy underneath him. “Draco? Why do you always push me away? I thought at first that you just weren’t ready for anything past kissing, but now we’ve been together for nearly a year, and you seem to be getting worse. What is it? Tell me. Why are you so scared of anything happening?”

“I’m not scared!” Draco exclaimed defensively, beginning to sound like his normal self.

“Draco, don’t lie to me. There’s something wrong.”

“No, there isn’t, Potter. Just leave it at that I’m not ready. Isn’t that good enough for you?”

“No! I never would have believed you to be a coward when it comes to something as trivial as this!”

“Sex isn’t trivial, Harry! You’re a bloody Gryffindor! Aren’t you supposed to understand and sympathise with people? I bloody love you, and I don’t want our first time to be in a kitchen!”

Harry leaned back some more and raised an eyebrow. “I never took you to be a romantic, Draco.”

“I’m not!” he cried out, seeming to be horrified by the very idea. “I’m a Malfoy! I want a room that is more high class than a kitchen!”

Harry nodded, not really believing Draco’s reasoning. It still did not explain why he seemed to be scared. Harry clearly remembered the night that he and Draco had consumed too much alcohol and things had become quite heated. The blond had not seemed to be scared then... Of course, it could very well have been the alcohol’s influence, but Harry had always thought that alcohol does impair judgement, but most people still know what they are doing when they are in the moment.

Nevertheless, Harry relented and stood from his position, letting Draco stand. “I’m sorry then. But honestly, Draco... I’m seventeen years old, what do you expect from me? Sex is all I have on my mind... especially when you’re around, and we just happen to be alone.”

“Then I’ll be sure that Granger and Weasley are with us at all times.” Draco turned and began walking out of the kitchens, leaving a speechless Harry with a house elf tugging on his arm, declaring that his meal was ready. So, maybe Draco did have his insecurities about sex, Harry could handle that and maybe help him through it. But Merlin... did the boy have to bring about new insecurities for Harry? Did he really feel it necessary to make Harry believe that he was extremely unattractive? As Harry sat down to eat, these worries gnawed painfully at his mind. Was Draco just not interested anymore? Maybe he was thinking of breaking up with Harry. The Gryffindor’s heart clenched painfully at the thought. He did not want to lose Draco. It would be more painful than anything. Draco had become a part of him.

Luckily, Ron chose that moment to come back in, smiling enthusiastically when he saw the food. “All right, the food is ready!” he exclaimed and sat down to devour whatever Harry did not eat. Between bites, Ron looked up at Harry and grinned. “How are you feeling, mate?”

Harry looked up at his best friend and grinned. “Great,” he replied and he did not feel like he was lying. After all, how could one not feel great when a grinning Ron had a large piece of green food stuck in his teeth? Harry shook his head in silent laughter and took a bite from his food.

“What’s so funny?” Ron inquired. “Do I have something in my teeth?” He smiled widely, giving Harry a perfect view of the food lodged between his teeth.

“No, Ron,” Harry laughed. “Nothing. You have nothing in your teeth.”

Ron grinned.

***

“Bombs away!”

Harry hacked and spluttered as Ron cannonballed himself, Hermione, and Draco. He was really beginning to regret showing him that move. Harry splashed Ron in the face as he came up for air, laughing wildly. “Ronald Weasley!” Hermione screamed, furiously wiping water from her eyes. “Would you stop that already? We get it; you can do a cannonball! We don’t care!” Harry smiled as he swam to the wooden raft as Draco climbed on top. They were now swimming in the middle of the lake with a raft that was big enough to hold ten people; Sirius had put it together in a couple minutes with the use of magic a couple weeks ago. The four teenagers had made use of it nearly everyday for the past couple weeks, and it was now nearing the time to return to Hogwarts. In fact, Sirius, Remus, and Charlie planned to take the small group to Diagon Alley the next day, where they would meet up with Professor Snape and then shop for their school things.

Snape had insisted upon meeting them there for more protection for Draco. Ron had groaned his protests immediately, and still was complaining a week after the arrangements had been made. A week earlier, everyone had received their Hogwarts letters; and with no surprises on Hermione’s part, she was made Head Girl. The real big surprise of the day however, was for Draco. He had been made Head Boy, and though he tried to keep his happiness down, Harry could tell that the honour was just that, an honour, and Draco would not take his duties lightly.

Presently, as Harry climbed up onto the raft, he stared at his boyfriend with admiring eyes. He just could not get over how great and beautiful Draco was. The blond stood straight on the raft, looking down at Ron and Hermione bickering, with a slight smile on his face. His face was adorned with newly formed freckles that had sprouted in the extensive time they had spent in the sun, as well as a slight burn from the midday sun they were under. Harry chuckled softly. No matter how many times Draco burnt, he would just burn the next day all over again. It annoyed the Slytherin to no end how Harry and Hermione could tan so easily, but he was stuck with burning. But as Ron had pointed out, it was better than freckling so much that it looked like he had a constant tan. Draco had frowned and pointed out his new freckles, saying that he was well on his way.

Now, Harry laid a gentle hand on his boyfriend’s elbow causing him to jump slightly. “You’re starting to like them,” Harry whispered happily.

“What are you on about?”

“Ron and Hermione. I saw you just now, smiling at them.”

“Well, it’s hard not to think their petty fights aren’t amusing. It doesn’t mean I’m beginning to like them,” he drawled.

“You’ll never admit it, will you?” Harry sighed. “I wish you would.”

“There is nothing to admit, Potter,” Draco said clearly irritated and dove gracefully into the water. Harry stared sadly at Draco’s form swimming underwater, looking as though he was trying to get as far as possible from Harry. If one thing was for sure, Draco had kept to his promise of keeping Ron and Hermione around at all times. The two boys had not had one moment of alone time for the past three and a half weeks, or rather twenty-four days and five hours, and since Harry did not have a watch with him, he could not really be sure of the exact minutes and seconds since they had been alone. It frustrated, angered, and saddened Harry every time it was apparent just how far Draco would go to keep away. The blond had recently reverted back to calling him Potter every time the Slytherin referred to him. Out of everything Draco had been doing, this act hurt the most. In fact, Harry was now so unsure of himself, that he rarely even approached Draco anymore. He honestly did not know how he was supposed to talk to Draco when he was snarled at or ignored every time he did attempt a conversation.

Harry continued to watch as Draco emerged from the water behind Ron and he grabbed the red head’s side, effectively startling him out of his mock fight with Hermione. The three started a large water fight as the lone boy on the raft watched on sadly. He felt his heart constricting painfully inside of his chest. Why would Draco not let Harry near him anymore? What had he done?

“Hey,” a low voice whispered into his ear, making him jump back. Harry turned around and found Charlie hovering on a broom above him with a sexy grin planted on his face. “Why are you just watching them? Jump in and have some fun,” he suggested.

Harry turned back to where Charlie gestured and watched his friends. “No. I think I’m done now,” he replied, even as he shivered in the afternoon sun.

“Well, then it’s a good thing I have a broom. I saw your towels on shore. I can give you a lift there and we’ll grab yours and go back to the manor.”

Harry was dubious. He had never flown tandem before and was not so sure if he wanted to start now, especially since he was now quite positive that Charlie fancied him a bit. His doubt must have shown on his face because Charlie placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and smiled. “No worries, Harry. I’ve flown tandem hundreds of times. It’s nothing.” Hesitantly, Harry nodded and Charlie lowered himself so that the younger Gryffindor could climb onto the back.

“I’m going to yell to them that I’m going in first,” Harry informed Charlie. Charlie nodded. “Hey guys!” Harry yelled and received no response. “Hey! I’m going in with Charlie!” The three continued having a fierce water fight, oblivious to Harry’s words. He shrugged, slightly hurt that nobody even bothered to notice where he was, but climbed onto the broom and they were soon in the air. He noticed that the speed was not quite as fast with the extra weight, but he found that he did not mind clinging to Charlie. His presence was oddly soothing and warming to Harry’s chilled body. He never glanced back so he never saw Draco climbing onto the raft, glaring after them.

When they got to shore, Harry jumped off and grabbed his towel, wrapping it firmly around his shoulders. Charlie suggested flying back, so, towel tied around him, Harry climbed back on and began the thrill of flight once more with the older man. When they walked into the manor’s entrance hall, Charlie turned to Harry with a concerned expression. “Is there something bothering you, Harry? We could talk about it if you like. I haven’t been around much in the past couple days to talk, so... we could go to our spot and do that now since your friends are otherwise occupied.” Since Draco’s purposeful estrangement to Harry, Charlie had become a confidant of sorts to Harry and the two found themselves becoming closer than ever they ever had been.

It had started the day after the kitchens incident, and Harry had gone to the library to do some homework. The library had two floors; the top one was merely a mezzanine loft, with only a small walkway around the walls. In the loft area, there were couches, chairs, tables, and a fireplace. Strangely enough, nobody ever went up there, so Harry found that it was a sort of refuge for himself. But on that particular day, Charlie had been looking for him, so Sirius had told him where he could usually find Harry. It was then that they began a private friendship that not even Ron knew about. They did not know why they kept their meetings secret, but they did. Harry found that he really enjoyed Charlie’s company and looked forward to their next meetings. But since Charlie had been on Order business the past three days, they had not had the chance to talk. This was why Harry jumped at the chance now.

“Yeah, I’d like to talk. I just need to get dressed.”

“Okay. I’ll go wait in the library for you, then.”

Harry nodded and ran up the three flights of stairs to his bedroom, quickly changed, hissed a few words to his snake, Kiana, explaining what he was doing, and then ran down to the second floor to where the library was. He could see a faint light on the second floor, indicating that Charlie had set a small fire in the fireplace. The second eldest Weasley was sitting comfortably on his usual couch and he smiled upon Harry’s entrance. Taking them both by surprise, Harry flopped between Charlie and the arm of the couch and offered a cheeky grin. Charlie chuckled and discreetly moved closer with his arm on the back of the couch.

“So,” Harry began, “what was this business you were doing with the Order?”

“You know I can’t tell you that, Harry. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on with you. You’ve been getting quieter and quieter every time I see you. What’s going on?”

Harry sighed, unconsciously moving closer to the comfort that Charlie provided. As he started speaking, he never noticed Charlie’s arm come to a rest around his shoulders. “Well... I don’t know. I suppose it’s Draco. There’s something wrong with him, either that or he just doesn’t like me anymore.” Harry wanted to go into further detail how his boyfriend never let Harry near him with a three-foot stick, but Charlie still did not know about their relationship. “Ever since I woke up that one day, he started being really cold to me. He didn’t want to be alone with me anymore, and he has started calling me Potter again. He can’t speak civilly to anybody except for Ron, Hermione, Sirius, and Professor Snape. I don’t get it. I mean, it used to be only Snape and me. But now I’ve been mysteriously excluded from his life.”

“It feels like last term, doesn’t it, Harry?” Charlie asked smartly. “When everybody hated you?” Harry had confided in Charlie what it felt like to be suddenly and inexplicably ostracised from the group. He did not know why, but Charlie was the only one he had told.

“Yes. Terribly like that. I hate it. I feel like everybody else is going to just start hating me again, any day now. I really really hate that feeling.” Harry scooted further into Charlie’s body and let his head rest on him and the older man pulled him to him in a firm hold.

“It’s not happening again. I can assure you that much.”

Harry turned his green eyes up and looked at his friend. “I just... I can’t help but feel unwanted when he’s around now. It hurts because now Ron and Hermione have become friends with him, or as close to friends as Ron could get to a Malfoy. Not that I’m angry with that, because I’m not. I’m incredibly happy that they’ve managed to push everything aside and become friends. It’s great to see... But I just want to... I want...” No, he could not bring himself to say it. It was stupid; it was naive. He had to get over it.

“You want to feel wanted,” Charlie finished for him.

Harry’s breath caught and he nodded numbly, still staring into Charlie’s brown eyes. “Yes,” he whispered.

Charlie smiled. “You are, Harry.” The red haired man brought his hand up and let it glide gently down Harry’s face, letting it cup Harry’s chin and bringing his head up. Charlie’s eyes smiled as he leaned down and let their lips brush softly together. Harry let out a soft whimper as a shockwave of new emotions ran through him. He lifted his own hand to Charlie’s neck and guided him down further to deepen the kiss. Harry sighed as he began to remember what it felt like to be truly wanted, to be lusted for, to be cared for... He now remembered everything that Draco had abandoned what seemed like so many months ago, but was really only a few weeks ago. It felt so good to have a warm body pressed into his, to be cradled and explored so thoroughly with a wet, smooth mouth and tongue. Charlie moved his expert mouth over Harry’s cheeks, placing a trail of small, wet kisses along the way to Harry’s earlobe, where he sucked and nibbled, gaining a moan from the younger Gryffindor. The red hair man licked down underneath Harry’s jawbone and began to nip and suck gently on the sensitive skin, leaving a small love bite underneath his ear. Harry moaned with delight as his body began to react to Charlie’s administrations. Charlie moved back towards Harry’s mouth and covered the moan with his own mouth and kissed him passionately. As Harry wound his fingers through Charlie’s short hair, pulling so hard that it was probably hurting, he could faintly feel Charlie’s large hands moving down his side, heading for territory otherwise unexplored by anybody but Harry, himself. However, Harry did not note it, as he pulled his red haired companion closer to him into their passionate kiss. Charlie’s hands continued south, and taking Harry by surprise, gently squeezed his growing erection through his trousers.

Harry yelped and pulled away, panting heavily from their fiery kiss. He looked down at his lap in shock where Charlie’s hand was still doing wonderful things to him through his trousers. He looked up at the older Gryffindor to find that his brown eyes were glazed over with lust, and steadily moving in to take Harry in another kiss. But now only one thought was going through Harry’s mind. Those eyes aren’t silver.... Oh. Merlin.

Quick as lightning, Harry jumped up from the couch and grabbed his hair, pulling at it painfully. “Oh. Oh, no. Oh, bloody bloody hell. I’m so stupid. I’m the stupidest damn fool in the whole of England. I’m so damn screwed. I’m such a bastard. I’m screwed. I... I... I....” Harry ended his rant with a cry of despair and pulled his hair harder.

“Harry!” Charlie exclaimed, as he stood up in alarm. “What’s wrong? Why are you stupid? Why are you so screwed?” He tried to take the younger man by the shoulders but he was viciously shrugged off. “I can’t say that I’m sorry for making that happen, Harry, but I am sorry if you weren’t ready for something like that to happen with a another man.”

Harry looked at Charlie with red-rimmed eyes, though he was not crying. He felt he just might if he could not keep himself under control. The tears of despair and guilt were pricking the corners of his eyes, threatening to take hold of his emotions and spill onto the floor. “Don’t you get it, Charlie?” Harry asked desperately, taking his hands from his hair and flailing his arms about desperately. “I don’t care that you’re a guy! I’m gay! I don’t care about that!” he exclaimed, still not quite ready to say why he felt like he was having an emotional breakdown.

“Then what’s going on?”

Again, Harry pulled at his hair, giving himself an itchy nose. He wiggled it and his glasses fell a little down the bridge of his nose. “Draco’s my boyfriend!” he cried out. “Oh, God! I can’t believe I let myself kiss you. I’m sorry for leading you on. It wasn’t my intention. I’m sorry. I’m such a bastard. I led you on and now I cheated on Draco!”

Charlie’s face went white and he sat on the couch with a thump. “Draco is your boyfriend? Why didn’t you say something?”

“It’s a secret. It’s not that we don’t trust you; it’s just better if there aren’t that many people who know. For one, I’m not ready to tell the whole world that I’m gay, and then this whole Voldemort thing. I don’t want him to have another person to add onto his, ‘Kill these people because Harry Potter loves them,’ list. I can’t have that happen!”

“You love him?”

Harry hesitated for a few moments and stared at the floor, his grip loosening as he thought of the blond. “Yes…. More than anything or anyone that I’ve ever loved before. I love him.”

Charlie sighed. “I’m so sorry, Harry. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of your vulnerable situat--”

“Don’t apologise. It’s my fault just as much as it is yours, Charlie. I think that I’m the one who took advantage of you. You were willing to comfort me while I was- or rather am- vulnerable, and I took advantage of that. I shouldn’t have when I knew that you fancied me.”

“You knew? Ron could tell that I did and passed the information along, didn’t he?” Charlie sighed tiredly with a small smile.

“Erm - yes.”

“Figures. I really am sorry though, Harry. I should have just let things be like I had planned to on your birthday. But then I was told to stay here and then it got difficult.... Look, we should probably part ways for a little while, let things cool down. If you tell Draco, or he finds out, I’ll try to smooth things out for you. You’re a good guy, Harry. You deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks, Charlie. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry as well...”

Charlie waved him off. “It’s not a big deal. Go on and find your friends, huh? I have some business for the Order that I should start researching anyhow.”

“Okay.”

Harry turned slowly and walked back down the stairs and out of the library. He walked miserably through the cavernous hallways, feeling as though a large paperweight had fallen into his stomach and broke through, creating a giant hole of guilt and depression. Draco had to be told if they were to ever have a serious relationship... But then again, this bit of information could be the excuse for Draco to break up with him if that had been what he had been wanting the past weeks. Harry sighed, feeling his throat begin to close, his lip tremble and more tears prick the corners of his eyes. If that was what Draco had been wanting and it would make him happy to be apart from Harry, then why not give the blond the ammunition? Then all that would be left to do would be to pull the trigger. But what came after the shot? Would Harry live to tell what happened? Or would he feel so weak and drained that he would just stop living? In all truth, Harry knew he would not feel like living if Draco left him. Draco was his life. In the past weeks of the Slytherin’s avoidance of Harry, the life had been slowly drained out of him. The break up would be his last breath. He smiled grimly as he ascended the last step to the third floor. Maybe being six feet under would not be so bad. Then he would not have to face the realities of life.

The Gryffindor walked to his bedroom door, but stopped as he set his hand on the knob. Coming to a quick decision, he turned around, intent on going to see if Draco was in his room, but was stopped by a pair of stormy silver eyes. Harry gasped and stepped back in alarm. “Draco! I didn’t hear you come up behind me.”

Draco did not say anything but tilted his head and studied Harry’s neck for a few moments before meeting Harry’s confused gaze. “It wouldn’t be the first time today, Potter,” he finally replied steadily, coldly even.

“What do you mean?”

The Slytherin’s eyes flashed and before Harry could react, he was pinned against the wall, Draco’s arm pressed tightly against his throat, blocking his air passage. He choked thinking that ironically, it would be his last breath, figuratively speaking and not- so- figuratively speaking. “You know what I bloody mean, Potter!” Draco spit out furiously. “I saw you,” he continued in a low voice tinged with venom. “I saw that fucking weasel giving that hickey that you have on your neck. I heard you moaning for him.”

Harry tried to say something, but it came out as a strangled gurgle. Draco pressed harder into his neck and Harry knew that his face was purple. He was struggling for his breath so badly that he did not notice that he was being pulled off of the ground by Draco’s anger at him. Draco continued speaking even as Harry began clawing desperately at his neck, trying to take away the arm that blocked his precious air. “You bastard,” Draco said, his voice still low. “You stupid son of a bitch. Do I mean nothing? Have I been some sort of sick game to you?” The silver eyes lost some of their anger and a great sadness swelled up in them and Draco let Harry drop to the ground. Harry took in great gulps of air as his head began to pound unmercifully. He hoped that Draco would stay so that he could catch his breath and speak. To Harry’s great relief, Draco’s bare feet stayed planted firmly in front of him. The owner of said feet did not bend down to help, but at least he was staying.

Harry reached out a shaky hand to grab the wall and made a slow progress in standing. Draco looked on with unshed tears in his bloodshot eyes. When the Gryffindor finally got to his feet, he looked desperately into the silver eyes before him, pleading with his own green ones to listen. “Draco,” he whispered hoarsely. He clutched his throat and swallowed. “Draco, I’m... there’s nothing that I can say to make it better. But I’m sorry! I didn’t mean for it to happen. It was the first and last time and I’ll do anything, Draco... anything to make it up to you. I’ve just been so confused when it comes to you lately. You’ve been pushing me away like I mean nothing... I can’t take it anymore. I need to know what’s wrong with you.” Tears began falling from his eyes, but he did not bother to wipe them away. “Oh God... I lo--”

“Don’t,” Draco whispered. “Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it, Potter.” The low tone made Harry wince in anticipation of what was to come. “You betrayed me in the worst way possible. I don’t think I can ever forgive you of that.”

“I don’t expect you to! But please, give me--”

“Fuck you. If you want an easy fuck, then go back to Weasel because you most certainly aren’t getting near me ever again with a ten-foot broomstick. Got that? I don’t want anything to do with you ever again. That means, no parchment, no classroom, no Black Manor, no secret meetings, no Weasley, no Granger... nothing.” He stabbed his finger into Harry’s chest and pushed him into the wall again. Harry was afraid for a moment that he was going to be denied air again, but thankfully, Draco only kept his finger sticking painfully into his sternum. “Got it, Potter?” The silver eyes glistened with emotion and Draco blinked, as if willing the emotion to go away. “You mean nothing to me. Don’t ever talk to me again.” With a final glare, Draco walked to his room and slammed the door shut. In that moment, with that final slam, the bullet was shot. It hit Harry with the exactness that he had feared. It pierced his heart and he gasped for breath. He grabbed frantically at his throat, trying to breathe air. Why did it still feel like Draco was holding his arm over his throat? Why could he not breathe? Tears silently streamed down his ashen face. Right outside Draco’s bedroom door is where Harry died. He fell to the ground, eyes blank to the world. His soul was gone with Draco. He did not know how to live anymore.

This was where Severus Snape found him twenty minutes later. The potions master bent and checked the young boy’s pulse and breathed a sigh of relief when he found a steady beat. Standing, he knocked on his godson’s door and waited a few moments for it to open. When a distressed Draco answered, he did not look surprised to see his ex-boyfriend on the floor. He merely beckoned his godfather into his room. Snape raised an eyebrow and stepped over his least favourite student. “Ready to go back to Hogwarts, Draco?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Draco stared down at Harry’s prone figure and Snape levitated Draco’s trunk.

“He will be fine, Draco,” Snape said carelessly as he stepped over the Gryffindor. “He has just fainted – probably overtaxed his brain. I will have to inform Black before we depart. Damn boy. I was rather hoping I would not have to confront Black before I left. Potters are always ruining everything...” Snape continued to mutter to himself as he walked his godson’s trunk down the hallway. Draco, however, continued to stare down at Harry.

“You’re wrong, Severus,” he whispered to himself. “He didn’t just faint... he died when I died today. Goodbye Harry.” With these last words, Draco, too stepped over Harry and followed in the footsteps of his godfather.