Survey Time

Survey Time

~Chapter 7-Severus Snape ~

Severus Snape glared. Then he glared, glared and glared some more. And all this glaring was at a piece of paper! He thought Dumbledore must be really off his rocker if he expected him, SEVERUS SNAPE to fill out some stupid survey. But the loony old man did. Grumbling and groaning the whole time, Snape decided that Dumbledore would find out if he didn't. So with a heavy heart Snape filled his quill with ink.

SURVEY

Are you left handed or right handed?: What does it really matter what hand I write with?

Are you smart?: I can bottle fame and brew glory, what do you think?

What's your middle name?: Squigulus

How many personalities do you have?: I happen to always be a cruel and insensitive person, and thank you very much I am proud of it!

How many piercings do you have?: You mean those stupid pieces of metal that students like to get all over. I'm sorry but doing that is just ridiculous. Wait why did I say sorry, you don't deserve it!

Tattoos?: I don't want to talk about my tattoo thank you very much.

Can you do a cartwheel?:I don't have time for foolish acrobats.

Do you have bangs?: Why does it matter?

Do you have contact lenses?: You mean those stupid things Muggles put in their eyes?

Can you drive?: I prefer to apparate.

What do you drive?: Look above you dingbat.

Do you snore?: Is it any of your business whether I snore or not?

Do you drool in your sleep?: I don't drool like a little imbecile.

Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge?: I like flooing messages best.

What languages do you know?: English and Bulgarian

What's the best awards show?: I don't have time to be wasting it on award shows, whatever they are

Do you like onions?: Not particularly.

Do you like cotton candy?: Albus, is this another of your Muggle treats. Maybe I should write the name down...it could be his password soon.

What instruments can you play?: I have no time to waste on music!

What words do you overuse?: Is it really any of your business?

What do you sleep in?: Do you really have to know?

What's your bedtime?: Bedtimes are for students, though that Potter acts like he doesn't have one...just like his dad!

How many pillows do you have?: This must be the most ridiculous question I have ever heard?

Do you like to dance?: NO!

Do you like to sing?: I loathe music.

Are you any good at it?: Do I really have to repeat myself?

How many cds do you have?: Is this supposed to be some abbreviation for cauldrons? Or is some Muggle thing? If it's the former I have 34 of them.

How many times have you moved houses?: 4 times

Do you like where you live?: A dark, dank dungeon, wouldn't be happier anywhere else.

Do you like to finger-paint?: We are not little children here, ok Potter and his gang are, they should start finger-painting all the time...get them out of my way!

Do you sleep with stuffed animals?: Ok I stand corrected, THIS IS THE MOST IDIOTIC QUESTION I HAVE EVER HEARD! I refuse to answer it!

Do you sleep with socks on?: Who cares? It's not some stupid contest!

Are you ticklish?: Why would I tell anyone that?

Are you shy?: Humph, I am not shy

Do you talk to yourself?: Who's asking?

Are you a morning person?: Of course.

What's your favorite outfit?: Billowing black robes that intimidate first years.

Do you believe in ghosts?: *sarcastically* No I only live in a haunted castle and I don't speak to the Bloody Baron everyday...get real!

What's your favorite feature?: The parts that frighten people.

What do you do when you're nervous?: I don't get nervous!

Who's your role model?: Myself.

What celebrities do you act like?: Let me guess, Potter wrote this question. Just so he can figure out which of his fans idolize him. *rolls eyes*

THE LAST PERSON WHO:

*Called You?: These

*Slept In Your Bed?: questions

*Saw You Cry?: are

*Made You Cry?: stupid

*Spent The Night?: and

At Your House: I'm

*Shared A Drink With?: annoyed

*You Went To The Movies with?: at

*You Went To The Mall With?: you

*Yelled At You?: Dumbledore.

*Sent You An Owl?: Nobody's business but my own.

*Said They Were Going to Kill You?: You Know Who

HAVE YOU EVER:

Been To New York?: In the U.S.? No thanks

Been To Florida?: No, warm places make me shiver.

California?: Ditto

Hawaii?: Why are all these questions about the United States?

China?: Yes I have

Canada?: No

Danced?: I refuse to go there.

Stalked Someone?: Not telling you!

Had A Mud Bath?: Who wastes their time getting covered in mud...oh I forgot, the Marauders did.

Have you been close to death before?: Of course I have, I'm not some ninny.

Wished You Were The Opposite sex?: I like who I am.

Had An Imaginary Friend?: I'm not some stupid child!

What Are You Going To Do After You Finish This Survey?: Rip this parchment into shreds.

What was your last meal?: Who cares?

Snape was all ready to tear the survey into tiny little pieces to get rid of his frustrations. But just when he was going to do it, she showed up. "What are you doing Severus?" Minerva McGonagall said, giving him the same severe look she used when he was still her student.

"Oh, there you are Minerva," Snape said with an evil smile on his face.

"What do you need?"

"Just - you have to fill this out." Snape handed the survey to her and walked away, his robes billowing in the breeze.