Blondes Have More Fun

August 31st, 2020, 11:37pm

"Fred?"

Silence.

"Fred?"

Silence.

"FRED!"

"Mmm?"

Angelina sighed. "Don't ignore me."

"I didn't hear you." She arched an eyebrow in Fred's direction. "Okay, fine. I heard you." Angelina looked satisfied. "Don't get too excited. I was still ignoring you."

"I know, but now you're not. And you admitted I was right. I think I have every right to get all excited."

"What do you want?"

She grinned. "That was a very nice story your mother told, don't you think?"

"I thought so. Hey, Dad, still got those pink knickers?" Fred's face clouded over. Ben. Of course Ben had to hear that story. He was never going to live this one down. Never. Gee, thanks, Mum.

"Ben. What are you doing up? I told you to go to bed."

"That's the best you can do? Ah, well. True. But Nature calls." With that, he sauntered off to the washroom, laughing all the way.

"Teenagers. No respect. I'm telling you."

Angelina laughed. "Fred, when you were sixteen, you didn't have much respect either. Or tact, for that matter. Though you did have charm, I'll give you that. Seems like Ben inherited that from you, and got my good looks."

"Yeah, yeah, figures," he said, slipping his arms around her waist. "Why couldn't he get your personality and my devilishly handsome looks?"

"Because. You don't have 'devilishly handsome looks,'" she replied teasingly.

"Oooh, I'm going to get you for that..."

"Wait! Before you start the inevitable ticklefest, which I know I'll loose, I have a question."

"Not my fault you're ticklish. What is it?"

"Just what did you do to Percy to make him hang your knickers from a flagpole? It doesn't seem a very Percy type thing to do."

Fred laughed. And laughed. And laughed, causing her to yell 'what?' "Well, you see Angel, it's like this..."

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August, 1990

The sound of water beating against the inside of the Weasley bathtub was like music to Fred's ears. Won't be long now, he thought as the water suddenly came to an abrupt halt. 3...Percy stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. 2... He fumbled for his glasses, eventually finding them on the sink ledge and putting them on. 1... He glanced into the mirror and let out a yell of horror. His hair. It was...

Blonde. He couldn't believe it. "FRED!" he shrieked. "This is highly inappropriate and childish," he said in his usual pompous voice, then switching to whiny, he said, "Change. Me. Back. NOW."

"What in the world are you on about, Percy dear?" Molly climbed the steps in time to see a flash of red hair retreat to the twins' bedroom. She opened the bathroom door. "What is the problem?"

"Mum! I'm not wearing any clothes!" She was about to point out that the towel was there, but didn't think it would do much good.

"Sorry, sweetie." Stepping into the hall once again, she turned and knocked on the door that Percy had slammed shut. Knocking, she called, "Percy? What's wrong?"

"You were just in here," he cried. "Didn't you see? Didn't you see what Fred did to me?"

"Why, no, I didn't. You kicked me out before I could see anything."

"BLONDE!" he screamed. "He made my hair blonde!"

"Impossible. He's not allowed to use magic outside of Hogwarts, he knows that."

"Who said it was magic? A little peroxide in my shampoo, and I'm blonder than Madonna!"

"Percy fancies Madonna! Percy fancies Madonna!"

"Shut up, Ginny. I do NOT."

"Mummy, Percy told me to shut up!" Ginny wailed. "Meanie head!" With that, she stuck her tongue out to the door, and ran down the stairs.

"Percy," said Molly warningly. "Be nice to Ginny, she didn't do anything to you. Fred, on the other hand... Can I please see how it looks? I always wondered how a Weasley would look without red hair. And now you're blonde... Please?"

"Mum! It looks awful! Let me tell you, blonde does not suit me at all. It makes me look like... like... the ghoul in the attic!"

"Percy looks like Stinky! Percy looks like Stinky!" Ginny was back, this time on her way to Ron's bedroom to steal his chess set.

"Ginny loves Harry Potter! Ginny loves Harry Potter!" Percy mocked, beyond angry now.

"Do so!" And with that, a nine year old Ginny Weasley ran back downstairs, without the chess set. She'd forgotten that it wasn't there, Ron was downstairs using it. George was trying to beat him, and failing miserably.

"Now, Percy, behave. Get dressed and we'll see what we can do about your hair. In the meantime, I'll go have a talk with Fred." Molly spun on her heel, ready to barge right into the twins' bedroom and give her son a piece of her mind when the bathroom door opened.

"Mum, wait. Let me deal with him," said Percy, looking absolutely evil for the first time in Molly's memory.

"I don't know, dear. What are you going to do to him?"

"I can't tell you." Seeing the uncertain look upon Molly's face, he said quickly, "C'mon, Mum, please? He's been pulling jokes like this all summer, and I'm sick of it. First there was Scabbers turning into a canary, then the itching powder in my knickers, and the fly in my soup... Just let me give him a taste of his own medicine. I promise I won't hurt him... physically. I'll just bruise his ego a bit."

"Oh alright," said Molly with a smile.

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"And that is why Percy hung my pink knickers from the flagpole. He wanted to be sure I'd see them, so he convinced the whole family to go for a walk that night. Charlie was impressed, but I wasn't. They were really pink!"

Angelina giggled. "But Fred, you made him blonde!"

"Well, Mum was able to reverse it! But she couldn't reverse the damage done to me! I was scarred for life," Fred claimed dramatically.

Angelina turned to hit him playfully. "Sure you were."

"I was! Look at this face! Would it lie?"

"Yes!" chorused all four of their children, with Ben adding with a wiggle of his eyebrows, "I'll have to ask Uncle Percy if blondes really do have more fun, or if it's the same as being a redhead."