If Love is a Game...

Chapter Fifteen

Band and Stalker

Sirius was surprised that the Muggles had lasted this long in their snowball fight. He had to admit, they were very persistent. Even James had to admit it--and that was saying something. As he hid behind their weakening fort, which Lily kept fixing relentlessly, Sirius packed up a large snowball, plotting who he was going to pelt. The first person to come to mind was Wesley Chapels, who just so happen to have long blond hair like Lucius. He wasn't holding anything against the guy--he seemed nice--but it just made him feel better to act like he was Lucius Malfoy instead.

Feeling extremely pleased with himself, Sirius chucked the huge snowball, his eyes screwed up with concentration on his aim. But then, it took a turn for the worse; Petunia walked outside.

"Lily, you've got a let--"

SMACK.

Sirius' huge snowball hit her right on the head and she tumbled onto the ground quickly. While James and some Muggle boys laughed hysterically, Lily scrambled over to her fallen sister worriedly. It had been a large snowball and he had thrown it pretty hard. Sirius wished he could've sunk right down into the snow. He ducked behind the fort.

"Nice hit, Sirius!" Henry, a skinny comedian, called truthfully. "That was a real Kodak moment!"

James started laughing even harder and fell on the ground behind the fort, out of the Muggles' view completely. And then, he stopped laughing and peered over the fort at them, wearing a very confused expression on his face. He ogled at them.

"What's a Kodak moment?" James asked, befuddled beyond all means. The girls glanced at each other while the boys laughed wildly. James found no humor in it. "What? I was just asking what a Kodak moment was! What's so funny about that? Hey, what's so funny? What is it?"

Henry got a grip on himself and stopped laughing; forcing himself to not start sniggering again as he looked at James' perplexed face. "You must be from Mongolia or something," Henry snickered with a painful expression on his face that came because he was trying so hard not to laugh at James, who was still very much baffled.

"Mongolia?" James asked, now even more puzzled. "Is that somewhere near Bulgaria because I once had a pen pal that lived there...?"

Their laughter only increased and the boys toppled onto the white snow. Sirius was beginning to wonder what was so funny also, but unlike James, he was not going to humiliate himself because of his confusion. A 'Kodak moment' was obviously a Muggle term for something, but they were having too much fun laughing at James to explain it to him. And as for the Mongolia thing, Sirius had no idea whatsoever where that country was.

"It's nowhere near Bulgaria!" Erika Since, a preppy girl standing up, giggled uncontrollably. "You're quite silly, considering your Lily's boyfriend. I thought she only dated smart, sophisticated chaps, but I guess she has her own exceptions when it comes to guys."

"Silly?" James exclaimed incredulously. "I'm--well, it depends what you count as 'silly'--not silly in that way; I'm positively the smartest one in the entire school--oh, I'm sorry, Sirius--with the exception of Sirius, of course, who is just as bright as me," he added quickly when Sirius glared at him slyly.

"And you don't know what a Kodak moment is or where Mongolia is?" Sydney Banks, a dark-humored girl on the ground, questioned dully. Sirius and James glanced at each other anxiously, though Sirius saw that James was more anxious than he was.

"No... Am I supposed to?" James replied curiously.

"Yeah, everyone knows all that stuff!" Wesley, a jock--like James--on the ground, exclaimed with a large grin on his face. "Where do you go to school again?" Lily glanced back at James and Sirius very nervously.

"Oh, some small school in Scotland for the gifted," Sirius said lightly. "I wouldn't expect you to know the name of it if you heard it."

"What is it?" Sydney asked monotonously. "I have a friend that goes to a school for the gifted in Scotland. She should've come back by now for the holidays, too..." There were more nervous glances between the three of them. The Muggles seemed oblivious to it all.

"Harrington School for the Gifted," Lily said abruptly, coming up with the first 'H' word she could think of. James goggled at her and grinned. She complied with a grin of her own. Sirius sighed with relief, but no one appeared to have noticed. Sydney was thinking silently.

"Nope, that's not her school," she said drearily.

"How are you all gifted?" Wesley asked smugly. "I'm gifted in many different ways, particularly in sports."

He glanced at Sydney, who was staring off into space as usual. Sirius grinned unconsciously, because Wesley had just reminded him of someone: Himself. He'd always done that with Krystyna, so it seemed rather ridiculous now that he saw someone else doing it. Sydney also just didn't seem his type and it was quite odd.

"Surely we don't have the same gifts," James snapped at once. "I find that my gift is rather different than many other people." Wesley didn't agree with him.

"Yeah, right," Wesley guffawed.

James glared at him. Lily rolled her eyes back down to Petunia, who was groaning painfully on the ground. Sirius cringed and decided to look back at James and Wesley to make sure they didn't get in a Muggle duel--fist-fighting. Sure, James was skilled in magic perfectly and he was very strong, but Sirius doubted whether James could match up to a kid that was a "Boxing Champion"--a Muggle sport where fist-fighting ruled.

"Right, I'm extremely gifted in sports!" James exclaimed furiously, reddening. He hated it when someone was laughing at him so mockingly. He truly despised it.

"Oh, really, what sports do you play then?" Wesley asked. James had no words to say. He knew nothing about Muggle sports, not one dime. He couldn't say Quidditch either, which he was, truth be told, extremely good at. He seemed to be at a loss of words and Wesley had triumphed.

"Football," Lily said abruptly. Everyone snapped their attention to her once more; especially James who was ogling at her, bewildered at what 'football' was. Wesley seemed to calm down and he looked back at James with a new expression.

"Oh, so you're a top notch football player, eh?" Wesley grumbled, sneering angrily.

"That's the only sport he can't do," Henry pointed out with a huge grin on his face. Wesley glared back at him, but it couldn't stop them from laughing loudly. Wesley glanced at Sydney nervously who still appeared to be off somewhere in space.

"Why don't you shut up, Henry," Wesley growled angrily. Henry shrugged his shoulders playfully and laughed again. Angry, Wesley looked back at James with heat in his eyes. "So, what are you so gifted in that lets you go to 'Harrington School of the Gifted' in Scotland?"

Both James and Sirius were at another loss of words. This was proving to be a very difficult thing, acting like Muggles; for they were both Pure-Bloods and had no idea in details about Muggle lives. Sure, they knew the basics because of James's parents, but that was basically it. They gaped at each other and then at Wesley.

"Music," Lily said abruptly. At this, Wesley guffawed loudly. Sirius didn't see what was so funny about what Lily had just said.

"Oh, so you can sing?" Wesley laughed. James grinned mischievously.

"Yeah, you wanna hear?" James said jokingly. Wesley stopped laughing, but before he could answer, James burst out in song horribly. "I'm singing in the rain! I'm singing in the rain! Oh, how I wish it could be dry, but I think I'll die... if I stop singing in the rain! If I stop singing in the rain! Oh, I don't know when this down pours gonna end, but I don't know where to begin... So I'll just keep singing in the rain! I'll just keep singing in the--"

"SHUT UP!!" Wesley screamed over James' incessant and terrible singing. James immediately stopped and started laughing along with Sirius and Lily. "You're definitely not a singer."

"I play, er, instruments," James lied quickly. Erika went wide-eyed.

"Oh, you're in band, James?" Erika squealed delightfully. Sydney rolled her eyes at the girl while Lily shook her head. James didn't know what 'band' was, but nodded his head anyway to escape another painful and humiliating laugh round. "So am I! What instrument do you play?"

"Er, a piccolo," James lied very lamely. It was the only instrument he could think of and the only one he'd really ever seen besides the piano, which he just remembered he played. Erika looked confused, but bubbly as ever.

"Wow, I've never heard of anyone playing the piccolo in a band before," Erika said thoughtfully. Sirius looked to the Heavens and wondered if God could spare them any mercy on the embarrassment they were being tortured with. He supposed he should've taken Muggle Studies now. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, I play the piano," James said confidently. It was strange, but he was rather brilliant on the piano. Sirius had always found this amusing; Remus found it peculiar; Lily found it lovely; and Peter found it amazing, as usual of anything James did. Peter practically worshipped James and Sirius, but he always seemed fonder of James for some odd reason or another. Sirius had never really cared enough to ask Peter about it.

"You play the piano in band?" Erika asked, very bemused. James didn't see the problem. Of course, he didn't know what 'band' was either. Lily giggled.

"No, he just plays the piano very well, but not in band," Lily laughed as she helped Petunia up to her feet. Petunia was looking quite dizzy and cross-eyed, which seemed to bring James back to his humorous self as he snickered at the way she looked. "I, myself, play the violin."

Erika seemed to have remembered something. She began to bounce up and down, as if she wanted to say something but couldn't get it out. They all goggled at her until she squealed, "Oh, oh, there was this one time, in band camp--"

"And what do you play, Black?" Sydney asked listlessly, interrupting Erika before she could say anything else. Sydney never called anyone--with the exception of Lily, whom she'd known since she was two--by their first name. It was always by their surname. Sirius didn't think he was going to be asked so he hadn't thought of anything.

"Oh, he plays the drums for the band," Lily answered for him. Sirius was thankful because he had no clue what he was going to say.

"Are you in the drum line?" Henry asked inquiringly. Sirius really didn't know what that was, but nodded his head anyway, feeling confident.

"Yeah, I am," Sirius replied firmly.

"Wow, you must be pretty good then," Henry complimented. Sirius inclined his head a little and then glanced at Petunia, who had fallen back down. Lily tried to help her to her feet again.

"Er, I'm sorry about that!" Sirius rang apologetically. She scowled at him hatefully and he doubted that she'd ever get over it. He wondered if he really even cared if she hated him or not; she didn't seem the cheery type and, quite frankly, she got on his nerves a lot--in a bad way.

"You're an insufferable lox!" Petunia shrieked. James wore another confused look and scratched his head in an attempt to figure it out on his own before asking.

"What's a lox?" James asked, giving up on the attempt to guess himself.

"That's exactly my point!" Petunia yelled furiously. This only deepened James' bemusement as Lily walked her angry sister back into the house quickly. "And take your stupid letter!" She threw something in the air and the wind carried it. Sirius dove into the snow for it before Wesley could see anything. He jumped back up and grinned embarrassedly.

"It's all fun and games, Wesley," Sirius replied, walking away and slitting the letter open. "You were just a little too slow there." Wesley fumed while Henry burst into new found laughter. He knew exactly who it was from: Remus. He was delighted to hear from a friend. James ran over to him and knew immediately who it was from because he recognized the handwriting. Lily walked over to them.

"It's from Remus," James hissed. Lily beamed with excitement. Sirius pulled out the letter and they began to read it silently.

~*~

Even though it was his Seventh Year, Peter learned a lot a new of things about himself and Hogwarts over the holidays, but mainly this morning.

First, Peter found out that he could easily get lost in Hogwarts without Sirius, James, or Remus to tell him directions of where to go. Second, Peter found that Hogwarts was filled with many corridors that looked the same, but definitely weren't the same. Third, Peter found out why students tended to stay away from hallways when Peeves was in it. Forth, Peter learned that he had no sense of direction whatsoever. Fifth, Peter learned that he was afraid of being alone, lost, in the Slytherin dungeons. And Sixth, Peter came to realize that Slytherins were more than they were told to be.

It was like he was supposed to learn all of this today. Each one of these things led to another come-to-term thing. With every new thing he learned, the more difficult it became.

He had been having lunch alone in the Great Hall while doing some over-the-holiday homework. He had, in fact, not eaten that much and had, in fact, not accomplished as much homework as he would've liked. But he had no one to help him either. Still, he remained confident and persistent that he could do his work without the help of Sirius, James, or Remus. He was quite proud of himself actually, considering what he had done. And so, he had walked aimlessly to the Gryffindor Tower--or so he thought.

He walked up familiar corridors quite happily, but after walking for what seemed like hours, he began to realize that he was going the wrong way. He was not heading for the Gryffindor common room, but had ended up somewhere completely different, indeed. Fearful, he had scurried up the halls again, but made no triumph. He wandered up familiar corridors, only to later realize that he'd been running in circles and that the hallways he was running in looked very similar to the ones heading for the Gryffindor common room. He seemed doomed.

Peter peered around another corner, which seemed to be different. It was rather empty, except for a large hideous tapestry on the right wall and Peeves, the poltergeist, flouncing in the air noisily. Peter was hesitant--you don't go where Peeves is--but it was a new corridor that he had to try...

He walked into it slowly, carefully making sure that he was absolutely silent; he didn't want Peeves to see him, which was almost impossible to do. He tiptoed past Peeves and was about to turn the corner when--he tripped over his shoelace. As he fell face first into the cold stone floor, Peter could hear his yells echo throughout the entire corridor, surely sending Peeves the signal of someone. He skidded and only came to a stop when he crashed into the wall, his body aching with pain. Why was he so clumsy? Was it his curse? Out of all of the times he wanted to not trip--besides that one time when he wanted to impress Sara and he tripped down the stairs and made her fall; that was bad too--this took the cake.

Just as Peter predicted, Peeves bounced over to him happily. His muscles groaned as he tried to stand up, his face was redder than a tomato, and his knees were killing him. He thought his back might fall off it he moved any more. Peeves seemed to be absolutely delighted to see him in pain.

"Ooh, did the maladroit boy falter his footsteps?" Peeves taunted, floating down to Peter's level, which was quite down. "Your shoes untied."

Peter looked down at it. "I know--"

The Poltergeist's finger went straight up his nose, causing him to leap back and fall again on his bottom. Life was never fair to poor Peter. He glared at the ghost from the ground and stood up, his bottom feeling worse than his back. Well, at least his back wasn't going to fall off; but his bottom sure was going to. Peeves chuckled at him raucously.

"That was not funny at all," Peter noted, brushing the dust off of his black robes. "That was really mean and it hurt."

"All the funnier it was then!" Peeves laughed wildly. Peter raised an eyebrow. That didn't make sense, but when did Peeves ever make sense? He decided that he was walk away to escape any more torment Peeves was likely to make him endure. But Peeves was not a ghost to be ignored easily. "Oh no, you don't, Mr. I-Can't-Take-A-Joke!"

He floated in front of Peter and stopped him short of the corner. Peter turned back around and headed the other direction, but he got in front of him again. Peter was starting to feel a little frustrated and a lot annoyed. He turned around sharply and jogged for the corner, thinking that there was a safe barrier around it almost.

"Watch your step!" Peeves yelled. Peter stopped immediately when he rounded the corner; there were stairs. Suddenly, Peeves ambushed him and wrapped him in the hideous tapestry. "Bombs away then!"

Seeing as how he was wrapped up in the tapestry like an egg roll, Peter was helpless when Peeves pushed him down the stairs. Rolling and bumping, he crashed down the stairs, each little landing knocking more sense out of him. When he hit the last step, something caught the edge of the tapestry and he was rolled right out of it, stopping in the middle of the floor.

He thought he was dead. It sure felt like it. Every bone in his body ached with pain. He could hear Peeves crazy chuckles from the top of the stairs echoing off of the wall of Hogwarts and his brain. He just laid there on the ground, still as possible. And then, the laughter died down. He moved his head slightly to look up the stairs to see that Peeves had gone away. Thankfully, he stirred a little. He could almost hear the cracks in his body. He had no broken bones, but he sure felt terrible. And... Where was he?

"Did you hear that, Nott?"

Peter looked forward from where he was laying on his stomach. It had been a girl's voice, not too younger than his. He rolled over onto his back painfully. If that was who he thought it was he was farther from the Gryffindor common room than he thought and he needed to hide or something.

"Um..."

Peter froze. That had been a boy's voice and had recognizable too. There was only one boy younger than him who could sound that clueless.

"Oh, I don't know why I asked you in the first place," the girl said loudly. "Let's go check it out."

"Um..."

"It's alright, I'll protect you if it's anything scary," the girl sniggered icily. "What if it's a boggart? Are you going to cry?"

"Um..."

"Okay, that's getting downright annoying," the girl said flatly. "Just shut up and follow me, Nott."

"Um... Right, Bella," the boy replied faithfully. The soft tapping on the ground signaled that someone was coming his way. Peter really needed to get up. Groaning softly, he stood up and looked around. He was really far from the Gryffindor Tower. There was no where to hide. He was stuck... He was trapped... He was a fried Gryffindor.

Okay, I'm older than both of them, so I'm smarter, right? Right. I can take care of her and him by myself because I'm in my Seventh Year and they're only in they're Sixth Year. Right--wrong. It looks like my goose is cooked. I wish James or Sirius or Remus or Sara or Krystyna or Lily--or even Lorena--was here with me. I'm gonna die.

Peter had never really been that confident. And especially not with this girl coming his way. She was strong as a bull and cold as ice. She just loved to torment people who were like him--weak and soft-minded fools. James was never like that, no, but, alas, he wasn't James Potter; he was the feasible, clumsy Peter Pettigrew. Oh, why did fate give him a bad hand?

She rounded the corner and he was in sight. She was taller than he was, and stronger than he was, and crueler than he was. She was more than everything of him. He froze on the spot. He knew he should be taking off, but he couldn't. His mind was yelling at him to move, but his feet were glued to the solid ground tightly. He was put off, thinking that he would not live to be eighteen.

"Ooh, a Gryffindor," she cooed cheerfully, in her own twisted way.

Bellatrix Black may have only been a Sixth Year, but she was strong-willed and didn't care about trouble. It was only her way. When she was faced with detention, she'd smirk at the professors and shrug it off--laugh it off--like it was nothing important. Ice water fitted better to be flowing through her veins rather than warm blood. She could be very menacing and cruel, indeed. Peter had watched many kids younger than him have to endure the endless pain she caused them with and without her wand.

"Hey, I think I recognize him..." the boy, Nott, a Sixth Year, noted quietly. He was her best friend, if you thought Bellatrix could have a best friend. She was the brains of them both and the words of them both and the brawns of them both. She was everything. He was just the guy who followed her around and did what she said--like a servant--but he found he liked it.

"Yes, I recognize him too," Bellatrix said softly. Peter grasped his wand in his pocket, even though he knew he probably wouldn't be using it. She stopped in front of him and put her hands on her hips. Nott gazed off into space as he usually did. "What's your name, Gryffindor?"

"Pete--Pete--"

Peter could've kicked himself in the arse if it was possible. Stammering was just what Bellatrix wanted in him; she loved to strike fear into people. She smirked at him and glanced at Nott, nodding her head, obviously knowing something.

"Now I know him; he's Potty, Black, and Loopy's groupie, Pettinewt," Bellatrix sniggered buoyantly. He didn't like his new nickname that much; he preferred Wormtail just fine. She looked back at him with a twisted happiness glimmering in her eyes. "Where are your heroes, Pettinewt?"

She and Nott burst out laughing raucously. Peter could feel himself flushing, and he hated it. He was letting her get to him. He should just turn around and walk up those stairs. In fact, he tried, but his feet still appeared to be glued to the ground. He cursed them silently.

"Well, aren't you going to answer her?" Nott demanded, slightly angrily. He was rarely agitated, unless someone actually didn't pay attention to Bellatrix, who he absolutely adored. It was sort of like him and James, except James was kind and not evil. He glared at them both furiously.

"James and Sirius are away from Hogwarts for the holidays and Remus is... on his Prefect duties," Peter told them quickly. He finally unstuck his feet after what seemed like an eternity and began heading for the stairs hurriedly.

"And what about Whitfield and Evans?" Bellatrix drawled cruelly. Peter stopped immediately. "What of Miss Whitfield, Pettigrew?"

"What's that suppose to mean?" Peter questioned, turning around to face her even though he knew that he must be red in the face. Bellatrix's smirk was wider than ever. Nott was not staring off into space, but at him.

"You are more thick than I thought, Pettigrew," Bellatrix hissed acidly. "I thought that after seven years of being stuck with the Boy Wonders, you'd get a little smart. Well, I must say, I really did overestimate you, but then again, you could be hoodwinking me. Of course, then you would have to pay the consequence for lying to me and you wouldn't want to do that, now would you. Really, Pettigrew, you are an imbecile."

That was a first. He'd never been overestimated. He was usually underestimated or estimated perfectly because everyone thought so low of him. He would've felt proud if it hadn't been directed as an insult and it was from her. Really, Slytherins weren't that nice as they were defended.

"I think I'm going now--"

"Don't you dare turn your back on her!" Nott yelled irately. Peter turned around sharply to glare at them both furiously. He was quite tired of walking around and frankly, his body was aching with pain from his tumble down the stairs.

"I'll do what I want," Peter simply said out of spite. As soon as it came out of his mouth, he knew it was mistake. He went wide-eyed and took a step back. He really needed to get out of her now. Bellatrix's smirk had turned into a very ugly scowl. She was beautiful, but she could immediately turn ugly if someone provoked her--and he just did.

"Oh, so you want to tango, Pettigrew," Bellatrix snarled. "That's fine with me. Raise your wand."

"No, I mean, I don't want to," Peter stammered, taking steps backward. He looked helplessly at the stairs, but saw no one to help him. He was going to die.

He heard her mutter something under her breath and he was immediately thrown backwards against the wall. He came crashing down to the floor, but the searing pain in his leg from another curse was directing his attention away from his head. He looked up through his blurry vision and saw his wand in front of him. He went to grab it, but a foot stomped on his hand quickly. He yelped with pain.

"You shouldn't have said that, Pettigrew," Bellatrix growled coldly. She twisted her foot on his hand and tears threatened his eyes. It was very painful having your hand being squashed like a bug. She started laughing coldly and Nott was having a good time watching him in pain.

"Impedimenta!"

It had been a girl's voice. Bellatrix shrieked when she was thrown backwards and stopped when her back smacked into the stone wall. Peter sighed with relief although his hand was bright red and feeling terrible. His leg was still burning and his head was throbbing terribly. From the ground he was laying on, he saw a familiar pair of black shoes walk past him briskly and the hem of a robe billow behind whomever his liberator was. Struggling against the curse, Bellatrix swore at the girl.

"You little--"

"Don't you dare hurt him again, Black, or I promise you that the next time you try something like this, I won't be so nice," the girl hissed acidly. Nott raised his wand up at her, but she had her wand snapped at him in an instance. "Don't even think about it, Nott. One more move from you and you'll be hurled in the air upside down before you can say 'prat'."

Nott seemed satisfied with her response to his movement and dropped his wand on the ground in front of him. The girl turned to Bellatrix.

"You need help badly," she noted. "Perhaps Dumbledore may help you..."

"I don't need help from that man," Bellatrix scoffed hatefully. "Do you want me to become a nutter or something?"

The girl shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, but you're already a nutter," she sighed helplessly. She turned around slowly and began to take a few steps toward him. He closed his eyes as he laid his head against the cold floor. He sure was tired... and in pain.

"Blood Traitor!" Bellatrix spat furiously. Peter looked up to see Sara standing at his body. She was not looking at him or her. She turned her head around to glare at Bellatrix. She bent down.

"C'mon, let's get you to the Hospital Wing," Sara whispered kindly. She helped him up and propped him against her. She began up the stairs and helped him for each step. They left Bellatrix cursing them every single step of the way up and Nott very confused.

~*~

The sun was shining on the grounds at Hogwarts. It was reflecting off of the lake perfectly. Yet he had no one to walk with around it and reflect on his life. He was alone and not really enjoying his time. He found it extremely difficult to think about something besides her as he walked around the lake alone.

Remus could not have been any unhappier than he was at that moment. As he walked around the lake, he watched the couples holding hands and beaming at each other. It burned him and he treaded faster in the deep snow. The sun was melting the snow away, as it had done the ice on the lake, and he could feel the grass beneath his feet again. But it was eating him away too. Everyone was so happy. Everyone was supposed to be happy. So why was he so unhappy?

He stopped to look over the lake and to reminisce the night he had dragged Charlie Weasley out of the icy waters. His mind wandered to envision what it might have looked like if he had been able to tell her what he had done in person. What would she have done? But just thinking about her made his insides churn with a funny sensation and make his senses go haywire.

It wasn't bad enough that they all had fallen for the group of girls that had once been more like enemies to. But it sort of scared him, to think of what it had been before this year. He had never really noticed her in the corridors. Yet, all he could think about was the first time he saw her when he was a First Year Gryffindor boy with a loud mouth and little common sense along with the amazing James Potter and the rather quiet Sirius Black and the frightened Peter. He sniggered at the memory of his friends, but the memory of Lorena Fawcett made his grin fade...

~*~

He absolutely lived to go to Defense Against the Dark Arts class. It was his favorite subject out of all of them, of course. He walked beside James Potter, who was showing Peter Pettigrew a "magic trick". Sirius Black was watching them both with curiosity. Remus Lupin, himself, could care less if Peter wet himself with excitement and James' trick--no offense to them both--but he found that his next class was much more enticing.

"And... Walla!" James exclaimed, making some pumpkin juice spill out of the tip of his wand and into his mouth casually. Peter could've clapped himself to death, he was so amazed. Sirius just watched curiously at them both, as if observing them. He had been rather quiet after the letter from his parents had come in the owl mail a few days ago.

"Alright, James, that's enough toying, we have to get a good seat in class," Remus said firmly. James stopped and gulped. He too enjoyed the subject and nodded his head. Sirius, however, had not been too keen on it for some reason. Peter frowned. Besides Potions, this was his worst class. There was a large crowd at the door so they had to stop. That was when Remus heard a very different voice from the ones he was used to hearing.

"But Marcus, I don't want to do that," a girl's voice said shakily. "I don't think that's right."

"That's none of your concern, Lorena," an older boy's voice said forcefully. "I'm hear to decide what's right and wrong for you and I say it's right." Remus looked over the crowd. He'd heard that boy's voice somewhere before. He looked behind himself and saw Sirius leaning against the wall lowly, his eyes on a certain blond haired boy.

"It is too my concern, Marcus," the girl protested. "I don't think it's right to hurt someone like that and I..." Her voice trailed off delicately as she came into Remus' view. She had long bright blond hair that was pulled up into a very messy pony tail. She had cautious light blue eyes that lingered on the verge of a grey color. Her face was pale, but she appeared to be sick or something of the sort. She had a look of uncertainty on her face. Her eyes though--those pale blue eyes--glimmered with fear. She was gazing up into the tall blond haired boy's hard face. He towered over her almost a foot and half.

"I... I just don't think that saying all those mean things is right," the girl muttered doubtfully. "And I don't want to do it. I think it's dreadful to do such a thing just because of their..."

Remus could see that the tall boy's glare easily frightened her into going silent once again. He looked unconcerned with her second thoughts--about something--and angry with her for protesting--whatever he wanted her to do. She looked to be dreading something as she cringed at him, looking down at her shoes.

"You'll do as I say," the tall boy growled. "Your parents and my parents expect you to fulfill their wishes of many accomplishments. This is the first test. They are expecting a lot out of you, telling me that you're brilliant yet you disobey the simplest of tasks. I don't know what they saw in you, but I see nothing but failure if you don't do this one thing."

She was silent and on the verge of tears. Remus looked down her robes and saw the Gryffindor crest on her robes. She couldn't be older than him. She appeared to be in her First Year too. She was smaller than him and frailer than him for sure. Why hadn't he seen her before until now? He looked at the tall boy and saw the Slytherin crest on his robes. They were from different houses, but, from what he gathered, they were related.

"It's not simple..." she finally murmured. He glared at her sharply, which caused her to flinch and close her eyes so that she would not have to look at him.

"You come straight to the Slytherin table at lunch so I can sort with you," he snarled. "Do you hear me, Lorena, or can you not obey that either?"

"Yes, Marcus..." she mumbled hatefully. He glared at her once more and turned sharply on his heels, heading towards his next class--whatever it was. As he passed them, he glared furiously at Sirius, who lowered against the wall even more until the tall boy disappeared. James glanced at Sirius.

"Do you know him--that Slytherin Marcus boy?" James asked him. He checked to see if the tall boy was out of sight and gone. He nodded his head.

"Yeah, I know him a little..." Sirius said darkly. "He's not that nice to her."

"Do you know her--that girl he was talking to?" Remus asked at once. He didn't know why, but he really wanted to know something about her at least. He nodded his head again.

"Her name is Lorena Fawcett..." Sirius replied calmly. James eyed the young blond haired girl, who appeared to be badly shaken, again.

"She wouldn't, by any chance, be related to Lucius Malfoy, would she?" James asked suspiciously. Remus looked back at her. She did sort of look like him. Sirius nodded his head slowly.

"Yeah, they're cousins," Sirius sighed, "but I don't think they're getting along well. She's been looking pretty rough lately. I heard Krystyna Melanie telling Sara Whitfield that she's been getting in trouble with Marcus Malfoy a lot lately..."

James shook his head as the crowd at the door finally dispersed. "I'll tell you, Malfoys and those related to them are no good," he said under his breath to them darkly. "I've never heard of a relative of a Malfoy getting in trouble because of a 'task' before. She must be different, but we can't get our hopes up, you know." Sirius nodded his head. Peter was still silent. And even though Remus wanted to make sure he got the best seat, he froze to let this Lorena girl enter before him. She held her books tight to her chest as if they would protect her. She looked extremely apprehensive and for some reason, he didn't like the look on her face at all.

~*~

Remus was still standing motionless as he remembered the apprehensiveness on Lorena's face of that day in his First Year. It had been an understanding, almost. Like grasping onto his wand, he grasped onto her fear. He could feel it--taste it--in the air around her every time he passed her in the hallways. She had been avoidant and anti-social to many people, including the Marauders a lot. After his first full moon at Hogwarts, he remembered turning shy because he didn't want anyone to know and he realized how hard it was to return--because he was still slightly shy.

The hot sun blazed his eyes as they peered from behind a few fluffy clouds. Remus squinted across the lake as he saw a few kids throwing snowballs at each other boisterously, shouting and laughing noisily, having not a care in the world. It seemed almost impossible that just outside these safe walls of Hogwarts, an evil so dark was lurking and waiting to attack...

And in the middle of it all, were families like Lorena's and Krystyna's, families that sided with what he believed. It was a world of chaos and fear out there, in the real world. And then there were people like Lorena and Krystyna, who did not go along with their strict families. Those people were in true turmoil, fiddling with something they didn't get. Then, there were families like James' and Sara's, families that sided against what he and those other families said. And then, there were families like Lily's, families that knew nothing of their world and cared not. It was all a strange thing. Sides were taken and some were neutral in this battle. If only he could find where he stood in this mess...

If only he could find where his emotions stood inside of him. Remus was always thoroughly confused when it came to his emotions. He was especially confused whenever it came to his emotions for someone else--like a girl. He had never had a girlfriend before; how pitiful was that? Of course, Peter had never had one either, but being compared with him was not a very good thing. So, he never really knew what a felt like to feel something for someone like this. Did he like her as a friend--or did he want more than just that? Did he like her at all? This was confusing...

Remus had been so into his pondering about his feelings for Lorena, he hadn't been paying attention to where he was wandering off to. He was now walking on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. There was a rustling in the trees, but he was too busy thinking to notice it. Lorena was a very pretty girl; there was no doubt about that. And even though she had that Malfoy bright blond hair and those pale eyes--but they were pale blue and not grey--she was not so pale. She was very bright and very buoyant. She didn't have the same drawling voice, but a more mesmerizing and energetic voice that could get your blood pumping so fast, even if you hadn't slept for a week. Her smile was dazzling and her eyes could shine so much when she was happy. She was very nice and stuck up for her friends very loyally. If anyone was rude to her friends, they would pay severely. Her mischievous grin was enough to make him go completely stupid. Did he want more...?

There was more rustling in the trees and this time, it caught Remus' attention. He stopped to stare where the noise had come from. The noise had stopped and he shrugged it off, but just as he began to turn around, someone fell out of the tree. He jumped back a little, startled at the sight. A girl with sandy blond hair popped up out of the brush.

"Hello!" the girl said without a hint of embarrassment, beaming widely at him. Remus kind of gaped at her for a few seconds. She wasn't embarrassed at all; he knew he would've been if he fell out of a tree into some bushes in front of someone.

"Um... hi?" Remus replied uncertainly. He really didn't know what to say to this girl.

"I'm Jane Taylor from Hufflepuff," the girl said buoyantly, holding out a hand. "You must be... Remus Lupin from Gryffindor, am I right?"

"Um... yeah, you are right," Remus replied bemusedly, shaking her hand. She didn't seem to want to let go, but she finally did. He pocketed his hand quickly. "How'd you know?"

"Oh--um"--she started blushing a little--"I heard a few Hufflepuff girls talking about you and pointing at you, yeah, that's it."

"Um... okay," Remus said, still confused a little. He didn't really know why some Hufflepuff girls would be talking about him; they were usually too busy spying and giggling on Sirius and James. He really didn't get it. He had never really thought of anyone giggling about him like they did with Sirius and James all of the time. In fact, it sort of befuddled him even further. "Er, why were you in that tree?"

Blush crept up her cheeks further. "Oh, I was--er--bowtruckle watching," Jane said quickly, nodding her head furiously. "Fascinating creatures, they are." Remus found this extremely odd; he found bowtruckles rather boring, indeed. Of course, maybe Hufflepuffs were very different from Gryffindors, he really didn't know.

"Uh... Right, okay, well, I'll be off now," Remus said awkwardly. He turned around and began to walk away, feeling more confused than he had felt since his first day at Hogwarts. He was just starting to think of Lorena's smooth hands when Jane flounced to his side again.

"Where are ya heading?" Jane asked him.

Remus' good silence had been disrupted. Unlike Lorena's buoyant attitude, Jane's was slightly annoying and a little too fake. "I was just walking around the lake--"

"I'll walk with you!" Jane exclaimed happily, interrupting him before he could finish his sentence.

"--alone," Remus ended. She looked a little deflated as she gazed at him. She licked her dry lips and frowned at him. He just wanted some peace and quiet to think.

"Oh, you really don't want to be alone on Christmas, do you?" Jane questioned determinedly.

"No, not on Christmas, but right now, I'm trying to think hard on something very important," Remus replied calmly. He felt like he was talking to a little girl, the way he was explaining this. She smiled at him, even though he was, in a way, telling her to leave.

"I can help you maybe," Jane said cheerfully. "The Sorting Hat told me I could've gone in Ravenclaw because I was so smart. What's your problem?"

"It's kind of personal..."

"Is it a difficult subject you're taking? Or has a teacher been pestering you lately?" Jane continued feverishly, either ignoring what Remus had just said or had not heard it at all. He was banking on not having heard him at all. "Maybe your friends have been pressuring you to do something or is it the N.E.W.T.s coming up at the end of the term?" To tell the truth, he wasn't that worried about the N.E.W.T.s that much, which was very strange. He felt really confident in what he had learned over the years. He had, after all, achieved high grades in all of his subjects--well, Divination was his worst subject.

Jane continued to rave on. "Perhaps it is family matters or maybe you're not doing so well in school as you would like or perchance--"

"It's a girl," Remus finally interjected, sort of annoyed at her persistence. He just wanted to be left alone, but he couldn't be mean to anyone it seemed. Jane's face immediately dropped considerably and her smile faded away completely.

"Oh, a girl problem," Jane sighed rather disappointedly. "Are you having problems with your girlfriend or something--?"

"No, no, she's not my girlfriend!" Remus said loudly, shaking his head furiously. This seemed to brighten Jane up a little. "She's--er--she's a friend." She lightened up even more.

"Oh, so did you two get in an argument or something?" Jane asked almost hopefully, smiling at him a little too happily. He walked a little faster, but she walked faster to keep up with him.

"No, no there was no argument," Remus noted, trying to sound calm. "We're good friends, I suppose. It's just... I'm--er--not sure if I like her as a friend." Jane's smile turned into a large grin for some unknown reason to Remus. He was getting more confused by the moment.

"So what you're saying is that you want to hang out with other people, but she still wants to hang out with you," Jane said optimistically.

"No, no, I still want to hang out with her! I said we were good friends, didn't I?" Remus said at once. Where'd she get that idea? She nodded her head slowly. "I'm just not sure... I mean... I kind of... well... I think I might want her as more than a friend..." he muttered quietly.

"Oh, you mean that you like her like her," Jane sighed sadly, looking very down.

"That's the problem: I don't know if I like her like that or just as a friend," Remus said miserably. "I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel because I've never really liked a girl like that. I mean, I've never had a girlfriend or anything, so I'm really puzzled about it all."

"It's supposed to make you feel so happy every time you see that person that you forget what you're doing and everything around you except that person. When you hear their voice or laughter, you almost melt. When you see their wonderful smile, you beam without knowing. When they're happy, you're happy. When they're sad, you're sad and you want to cheer them up so badly. You think about them almost all of the time and they just make your day so great," Jane explained to him quickly. He didn't see how she knew all of this. "And when they don't like you as much as you like them, it breaks your heart."

"Oh... oh... now I don't think I want that," Remus said hesitantly. He didn't know what it felt like to have your heart broken, but it sounded like it hurt--emotionally--by the tone of her voice. "Um... I'm still confused."

"Who is this girl anyway?" Jane questioned. Remus didn't want to tell her. What if she told someone and they told her or something worse. What would happen if Lucius Malfoy found out? He cringed at the mere thought of it.

"I have to go... inside and find my friends," Remus said quickly. "Um... nice chatting with you. Bye!" He hurried off to the castle, feeling very nervous and uneasy. However, this girl was not squeamish and not one to ignore. She followed him.

"Who is it?" Jane called after him. He chose not to reply and she chose to follow him. Remus was feeling more confused than he had felt in his entire life. He had a fleeting wonder of what James and Sirius would say if they saw this. They would undoubtedly laugh at him for all the times he had laughed at them when a girl chased him. Right now, Remus just wanted to be away from Jane Taylor so he could think about Lorena.

But for some reason, he had already figured it out. Maybe it was worth taking the chance to have his heart broken. Maybe it was worth it all. He remembered the little fiasco in Hogsmeade and remembered how happy he felt. He remembered how he felt when he saw her leaving. Yeah, he definitely figured it out on his own. He did really like Lorena.