In All the Thunder

Chapter Nine: Life, Death, and Everything in Between

"I was so not prepared for morning sickness," Lily moaned. Krystyna chuckled and nodded her head in agreement. Morning sickness was a right pain in the arse. Lily stuck her tongue out and resituated herself into a more comfortable position. She sighed with relief and relaxed. "Of course, these pillows are quite comfy, if I say so myself."

"Yes, well, I don't think anyone is ready for the morning sickness that comes along," Krystyna pointed out, smiling at Lily.

"I thought I knew what to do." Lily sighed and shook her head. "I am nervous, however, about when it actually happens. How much is it going to hurt? What happens if I forget what to do? What happens if I die during the birth of my child?"

"Shut it, Lily," Krystyna said. "Let's not think about that, shall we? Oh, and trust me, I'm sure you won't forget anything you learned in those bloody classes. Breathe in and out."

"You're getting as bad as Lorena at cursing nowadays," Lily sighed, shaking her head.

"Well, you can blame this little tyke," Krystyna replied, jabbing a finger at her ever growing stomach. "So, how does it feel being wrong to James about the gender of the child?"

Lily snorted. "Terrible," she answered. "He's so happy that he bounces around the entire house. I mean, it's not like he's bragging or anything because he's not; he's just so...exuberant about it. Sirius is never going to let me live it down."

"Yes, well," Krystyna began, smiling at her red-haired friend, "we were lucky enough to have agreed on what type of gender the kid was going to be. And luckily, it was a girl, after all."

"I was so surprised, you know, that Sirius wanted a girl," Lily said curiously. "I mean, I thought for sure that he'd want a boy so he could, you know, teach him all of the tricks of being a ladies man." She grinned at Krystyna. "He can't likely teach her that for boys."

"No, he can't," Krystyna replied, actually sounding relieved. "Maybe this is something between James and him, but they're probably betting on whether their kid is the coolest, smartest, strongest or whatever."

"Who knows," Lily snickered, shrugging her shoulders. Krystyna giggled and shook her head. It was just like James and Sirius to do something like that. However, she found it more funny than aggravating. They were still like themselves.

It was in the middle of June and Lily's stomach was protruding out much farther than Krystyna's. Lily had been told that it would only be around a month until she gave birth. That was far too long of a wait as far as Lily was concerned. Krystyna, on the other hand, had a few more months to go. Her due date was around November 4th, but she didn't think that it would land on that exact day. Everything had been going so great, except for the fact that Krystyna still woke up only to greet the toilet first thing in the morning.

Sara had been ecstatic about this because it turned out that she was a special type of Healer that helped with child birth. That had been quite a relief. She could still be a regular Healer, but she had chosen to be a Child Birth Healer. Peter had congratulated both with exceptional speed. He was living the single life now and had much more work since he moved to the Magical Sports and Games Department under Sirius.

Lily's work as an Unspeakable had been put on hold. She was not allowed to work while being pregnant so she had been staying at home for a while now. She had been cooking, reading, cleaning, and sleeping a lot as of late. Krystyna had definitely been put on Maternity Leave. She was strictly not allowed to do the dangerous work of an Auror while pregnant; it was dangerous for both her and the unborn baby. Both she and Sirius had been grateful for that.

Sirius had been coming home earlier than before, but only because he would leave work earlier. Instead of leaving for work around ten, he'd go into the office around eight. Krystyna usually didn't wake up until about eleven these days so it was much better that he get home at three instead of five; she'd see him for longer.

For some unknown reason to James, he'd been given paper work as of late. He had been staying in the office at the Auror Section for months now and when he did go out into the field, it was for something that was barely even worth noting. Krystyna knew that since James had a very pregnant wife at home, their new boss, Jerry Fox, had been giving him less dangerous work. James didn't seem to mind it that much though because he got home a lot earlier.

Lorena had finished her studies at LWLA earlier than most and had already gotten her degree as both a defence attorney and a prosecuting attorney. So far, she had sidled herself on the prosecuting side, but she didn't have that much work to do, considering that there were many attorneys at the WADA office in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. She was mulling over whether to go into the Defence office where she would get more money, but she was too eager to prosecute criminals to defend them. She might accidentally condemn her own client, which was not that good.

But, with the help of Lorena's peak defence abilities, Remus was able to get a job as a professor of a small primary Wizarding school in England. Remus was thrilled with the idea of being a professor, if only for ten year-olds, and he was one of the best professors at the school. Of course, the Headmaster and staff at the school were still very leery when it came to Remus, but he was a fine teacher, they had to admit. He had been very excited for James, Lily, Sirius, and Krystyna. And Lorena had nearly woken up the entire neighbourhood when she received the news.

Things had mellowed out since then. Krystyna had travelled over to Lily's house to have company. She'd been doing that for a while now. It was as easy for Lily travel as it was for Krystyna. It wasn't much fun being home alone every day and both enjoyed each other's company. They could talk about everything and nothing easily. There was a bang on the door. Krystyna jerked up; Lily sat up slowly.

Oh, great, what was that? Krystyna thought. After the months of being an Auror, the precautions you took began to blend in with normal life at home. Krystyna brought out her wand and Lily glanced at her very worriedly. How do they suppose two women that are expecting can defend themselves? They're mad! Oh, please, let it be not what I think it could be...

There was another bang on the door, and Lily jumped. Krystyna had become used to such noises. She got to her feet and pointed her wand at the door. She readied herself to stun the first person that came in. There was another bang and the door burst open.

"Stupify!" Krystyna said sharply. Someone collapsed and someone else walked inside. Krystyna gawked at the person. "Sirius! Wha-what are you doing, banging on the door without saying anything?!"

Sirius shrugged his shoulders and looked down at the Stunned person. Krystyna rolled her eyes; she had just Stunned James. She waved her wand and muttered, "Eneverate!"

The Reviving Spell was successful and James woke up. He sat up straight and rubbed the back of his head. Lily sighed with relief and lay back down. Krystyna fell back onto the couch.

"Damn, you stunned me, Krystyna!" James exclaimed with his brow furrowed. He was still rubbing the back of his head.

"Obviously," Krystyna snorted. With the help of Sirius, James got to his feet. Sirius shut the door with a grin plastered on his face. "I didn't know who you two were! For all we knew, it could've been a Death Eater or some homicidal maniac trying to break into the house."

"Whatever," James said, throwing his hand in the air dismissively. Krystyna rolled her eyes at him. Sure, it was highly improbable, but still, it could've happened. "Well, Sirius and I won't be here for long. We've got an Order meeting in thirty minutes."

"Oh, I want to go!" Lily declared, trying to get up. James rushed over to her and sat her back down. She looked up at James with a defiant look on her face. "I want to go, James. I'm in the Order of the Phoenix and I should at least hear what they have to say about anything."

"No, Lily, if you can't keep working as an Unspeakable for now, you can't keep working in the Order of the Phoenix," James told her flatly. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"And you can?" Lily snapped irritably. James didn't say anything in response, but he gave Lily that look that said there was nothing to argue about. A fresh film of tears came over Lily's eyes. "James, I don't want you to get hurt - not ever. Just...just stay at home with me, please. If I can't go, then I don't want you to go either."

"Lil, I have to go," James said, bending down to her. "I'm an Auror and they need people like me. Krystyna can't come because of the same thing and they really need her, too because she's an Auror. But you know, she understands that she can't go. It's for your own good, and the baby's."

"I know, James, but-"

James put a finger to Lily's lips and she went silent. There was, indeed, nothing to argue about.

"We've already talked about this and I mentioned it to them already," James said wearily. "Remember, I'm not doing anything dangerous anymore."

He pulled his finger off of her lips.

"But James, just being in the Order endangers you," Lily pointed out sadly.

"It's the only way to help fix this," James told her quietly. "Besides, you're still in the Order; I just want you in the least danger possible."

Lily went silent. They never said anything about the War or Voldemort much because everyone knew what you were talking about. They all knew what James was talking about it and whether or not Lily would like to admit it, she knew that this was something that James had to do. Krystyna hated not being able to be in the Order of the Phoenix for now, but she knew that it was for her and the baby's own good. She and Sirius had agreed on that a long time ago.

"Alright, but please, be careful," Lily sighed, defeated. A shadow of a grin came upon James's face.

"Don't I always?" he said. Lily smiled and rolled her eyes. While this had been happening, Sirius had sat down, greeted Krystyna, and held her hand. "We should gather those papers, Sirius, and get going," James said without much enthusiasm in his voice. Sirius sighed and nodded his head.

"Accio Order papers!" Sirius mumbled and the papers flew into the room. Before Krystyna could get a good glimpse at them, Sirius threw them to James, who caught them and tucked them away into the safety of his robes. Sirius kissed Krystyna and said goodbye. James had already done the same for Lily and was now at the door. They couldn't Apparate inside the house.

"See you soon, Krystyna!" Sirius called, waving his hand before he exited the house. James shut the door and Lily and Krystyna heard two soft pops and the guys were gone. They'd already Apparated. Lily gave the door a sad look and then looked back to Krystyna.

"Do you ever wonder what they do there?" Lily asked. "James won't tell me and I tried to pry it out of Lorena, but she wouldn't divulge any information to me. I won't even waste my time trying to get Remus or Sara to tell me."

"I asked Peter once," Krystyna noted, "and he just told me 'important stuff'."

"Well, that's more than I got," Lily sighed, shaking her head. "Lorena told me that she was 'learning how to sleep with my eyes open'. She's not...I hope."

Krystyna grinned at Lily and they both laughed. Hopefully, Lorena wasn't sleeping in such important meetings, but she most likely already knew everything. There hadn't been much new information lately.

~*~

"JAMES, I'M GOING TO CASTRATE YOU IF I LIVE THROUGH THIS!!!"

"I love you, too, Lily."

Sirius blanched at these words whereas Lorena cringed. These were not comforting words for Sirius as he looked at Krystyna nervously and wondered if Lily was telling the truth. Would Krystyna be so angry with him when the time came? He paled even further and slid farther into his seat.

"Are you okay, Sirius?" Krystyna whispered, leaning down to his ear.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sirius replied in an unnaturally high-pitched and tight voice. Krystyna raised an eyebrow, but said nothing in response. She sat up straight and looked around the room they were all waiting in.

Peter was flipping through a book faster than the speed of light, probably because he was just as nervous about this like everyone else. Lorena kept trying to get a glimpse of what was going on in the hospital room, but she could only catch what James, Lily, and the Child Birth Healers were saying - or in Lily's case, screaming. Remus appeared to be the only one that wasn't nervous. He was reading some type of book; Krystyna could make out the title of the book to be Good School Teaching or something along the lines of that. Sara was one of the Child Birth Healers inside.

A few hours ago, Lily had gone into labour. They had all been over at the house. Lorena had barged into the house, out of breath and complaining that one of James's Auror buddies was bugging her all of the time, when Lily had started having contractions. That had sent the entire house in hysterics. First, Peter had asked what contractions were and after Lily explained, James immediately went into Panic Mode. Sirius had started to freak out because of the anticipation of Krystyna having their child; and suddenly, the entire house had been taken over by mayhem. By some miracle, Lily had gotten to the hospital right before her water broke. The whole thing was mad.

"C'mon, Lily, you're almost there! We can see the head!" Sara's voice was loud, but soothing. Krystyna half wondered how Sara could sound like that, but Krystyna's thoughts were cut short by Lily's screams.

"THE HEAD?! Do you mean to tell me that after all of this damn PUSHING, I haven't even gotten passed the bloody HEAD?!"

"I'm sorry, Lily, but this takes some time and plenty of effort," Sara replied calmly.

"JAMES!"

"I know, I know," James said sadly, "you're going to castrate me when we get home."

"I'M NOT GOING TO WAIT UNTIL WE GET HOME!!"

"Well, at least I'll be at a hospital," James sighed.

Sirius shrank in his seat even more. He could only imagine how James was looking. After pining after Lily for years and finally getting her, he might be reconsidering his marriage with her after today. It seemed to be endangering his life. Sirius, again, shot Krystyna an uneasy look and then looked down at himself. He liked himself just the way he was, thank you very much.

"Sirius, what's wrong with you?" Krystyna questioned, feeling a bit agitated with him. She didn't want to be, but he wasn't telling her something and there was something else wrong with her that she didn't know.

"I - I...You're not going to castrate me after you have our kid, are you?" Sirius asked with all the serious he had, looking up at her uncomfortably.

"Sirius!" Krystyna squealed, swatting him on the arm. He grinned at her sheepishly and she rolled her eyes at him. He was hopeless. She folded her arms across her chest and looked away from him. "No, but if you keep acting like a buffoon, I might."

"I wasn't acting like a buffoon!" Sirius exclaimed, but quietly. There were more screams and Sirius tried his best not to blanch. Krystyna looked back at him incredulously. "Maybe a prat, but certainly not a buffoon, Krystyna."

"Uh huh, sure, Sirius," Krystyna said with a wicked grin.

"Push, Lily!" Sara called out from inside the hospital room. There was one more loud screams from Lily, in which she called James every horrible name she could think of. Poor James, he was probably feeling quite lowly of himself. A baby's cries filled everyone's ears and they watched the door with anticipation. "James, Lily, congratulations!"

Sara popped out of the room. "Come on in, guys. I'm only supposed to allow blood relatives, but who gives a care, right?"

Sara smiled and disappeared back into the room. Everyone stood up and stretched. Sirius was the first to walk in with Krystyna in tow. He swore that he heard Lorena mutter, "She just doesn't want Lily to murder her or something."

Peter dropped the book he had been holding seconds ago.

When they all entered the room, they all saw something so beautiful and sweet that there could be no words to describe it. They gathered around the bed.

Lily, red hair matted and face glittering with sweat, sat upright in the bed in a white hospital gown as she held a baby boy that was bundled up in a blue blanket. The baby was gripping James's finger tightly. There was just a bit of black hair on his head and he was silent with his eyes closed. But when the baby opened his eyes to blink and look at them all, everyone saw that he had startling green eyes - Lily's green eyes.

"My baby boy, my darling baby boy," Lily murmured softly as she held the baby boy close. "My little Harry, my little Harry James Potter..."

~*~

"So...what's it like being, er, pregnant?" Lorena asked Krystyna anxiously. Krystyna laughed at Lorena, who turned a little pink and chuckled weakly. "You said you wouldn't laugh at me!"

"That was before you asked the question though, and I didn't laugh at you then," Krystyna pointed out, trying to stop laughing. Lorena glowered at Krystyna, who was failing to stop herself from laughing. Why did she always have to say things that caused her embarrassment? Why?

"Forget it - forget I even said anything," Lorena grumbled, standing up and walking away. Once she had left, Krystyna finally calmed herself down. She shook her head, still grinning, and took a sip of her nice cold drink.

Remus and Sirius were locked in a heated discussion about Muggle bands; Lorena stayed clear of them in fear that they might drag her into it. She was not about to talk about music with them; Sirius might wag her own skyrocketing music success in front of her (which embarrassed her and hated talking about). Lily was talking with Sara about the new store built in Diagon Alley. Having not been at the store yet, Lorena felt as if she could not enter their conversation. She moved on into the room and saw that James was sitting alone, but on further inspection, Lorena that he wasn't alone; young Harry was laying in his arms. James was a tad bit preoccupied right now, seeing as how he couldn't take his eyes off of his boy and he was talking to the boy. Lorena smiled faintly; it was funny seeing James holding and talking to a baby, seeing as how juvenile he'd acted at Hogwarts before their seventh year.

"Hi, Lorena!"

Lorena spun around quickly and breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, hey, Peter, when did you get here?"

"Just a few minutes ago," Peter explained. "I got stuck in the office."

"Your boss again, right?" Lorena inquired. Peter nodded his head. "What was his name again? I remember you telling me...Rocky? Rocker? Rockfelt--?"

"Rockefeller," Peter told her. That's when she remembered everything he told her in that conversation they'd had just weeks before.

"Oh, yeah, right, Barry Rockefeller," Lorena said, smiling. "Yeah, I met him the other day, you know? His son, you know, works in the WADA, Marty Rockefeller; he's an okay guy, I guess. In the conversations we've had, he usually does that talking and I do the ignoring."

"He's a bit like how Sirius used to be at Hogwarts, I think," Peter admitted quietly, shooting Sirius and Remus a furtive glance. He grinned weakly. "He's a...a player."

Lorena smirked. "Yeah, he's a flirt, all right, but I think he's way worse than Sirius was," she pointed out coolly. "I mean, at least Sirius backed off when he found out that the girl he was flirting with had a boyfriend already. But that doesn't apply with Mr. Marty Rockefeller, no. The moment he started flirting with me, I told him that I had to go call my boyfriend, but he just kept on insisting that I go to dinner with him - at his place!" Lorena laughed. "I told him to 'go hit on the other girls in the firm', and then I left."

Peter laughed with her. "Yeah, I think Marty's told Mr. Rockefeller about you because he asked me if I knew you," he said. Lorena raised an eyebrow curiously. "I said that I did and he asked if I had your number."

"Did you give it to him?" Lorena asked.

"No, I didn't think you'd want me to hand out your address to every man that asked me," Peter said with a small grin on his face. "I told him that you just moved and I lost your number."

"Thanks," Lorena sighed. And then, she thought of what Peter had said and added, "Wait a minute; what do you mean 'every man'? Are you saying you've been asked more than once?"

Peter nodded his head and laughed. "Tons of times!" he exclaimed. Lorena groaned. Why her? With Lily cuddling with young Harry everywhere and Krystyna being pregnant, Lorena had been left to the fury of all of the mad single men out there. She hated the attention. She didn't know how Sirius could stand such attention from half the population of the women in England alone!

"That's bloody great," Lorena mumbled sourly. "I'm going to have to start putting a sign on my back that says, 'Taken'." Peter laughed again. "Maybe my arse would do better."

This caused Peter to laugh even more and she smiled feebly. Peter laughing was making her feel slightly better about her situation.

The two started talking about Lorena's job in the WADA. Near the end of the conversation, Lorena saw Krystyna stand up from the corner of her eyes. Krystyna walked over to Sirius and whispered something into his ear. He looked worried for a fleeting moment, but then Krystyna appeared to say something that soothed him. She walked back to the couch and sat down.

"Yeah, it's a demanding and sometimes boring but otherwise interesting job," Lorena said, "being a lawyer and all. I'm on my fifth case and I'm still pumped as ever."

"That's cool," Peter replied. He looked around the room and then at his empty cup. "I'm going to get a drink."

"Okay." Lorena nodded her head and Peter walked off to get a drink. Lorena walked over to Krystyna and sat down in front of her.

"So you decided to come back, eh?" Krystyna chortled.

"What were you saying to Sirius?" Lorena asked under her breath so no one else but Krystyna could hear what she said.

"It's nothing," Krystyna dismissed immediately. Lorena gave her an incredibly disbelieving look that made Krystyna cave in immediately. Lorena had learned how to do that from Krystyna, herself. It always wowed Krystyna at how she fell for her own tricks so easily. "Alright, I'll tell you, but don't tell anyone else. I've just started to have contractions-"

"What? We need to get you to a hospital, and fast!" Lorena hissed urgently. She could still vividly remember what happened when Lily began to have contractions. A sense of panic sunk underneath her skin and she began to worry herself. No wonder Sirius had looked worried.

"Calm down, Lorena," Krystyna admonished quietly, "the contractions are still twenty minutes apart."

"Which means...?" Lorena raised her eyebrows. "C'mon, Krystyna, I'm not the one that's pregnant; I don't know much of what the technical words means."

"Which means that we don't have to do anything until the contractions are five minutes apart," Krystyna snapped back under her breath. "Lily's contractions were far quicker than mine. Right now, I'm just going to relax and continue on like nothing's happening. I don't want to worry anyone."

"Right, uh huh, this is so not worrying me," Lorena muttered sarcastically.

"You asked!" Krystyna pointed out. "And it's not like I wanted to tell you. I knew you'd get like this, acting like a prat and all."

"I was raised by prats, Krystyna." Lorena smirked. "What else did you expect?"

~*~

Four hours later and they all found themselves in the same seating arrangement, except this time, Lily and James took Krystyna's and Sirius's places. Lily was now the one holding Harry protectively as he cooed while James looked at the hospital room and then back at Lily suspiciously. Unlike Lily, Krystyna wasn't screaming that much - at least not screaming at Sirius anyways. They could hear a few screams, but she wasn't really saying anything. Why was that?

Lorena was, again, trying to get a glimpse of what was going on inside the hospital room, but getting absolutely nowhere with it. She finally stopped and just slumped in her seat. Remus was now reading a book called The Music Theory: Muggles' Strange Taste in Music; this was what had brought up the heated discussion with Sirius about Muggle bands. Sirius had liked their newest style in music while Remus was still leery about it. All this loud music gave him a headache.

Peter was flipping through the same book he'd had when Lily had given birth, but he couldn't keep his attention on it. The quiet seemed to be worse than Lily's screams. He gulped and looked back at his book. He closed it up and slumped in his seat tiredly. He had been working forever and now this. He'd hoped to go to Sirius's and Krystyna's house to have some fun and relax, but this had happened; Halloween was just not made for such stress.

"Krystyna, Krystyna - ouch - um, could you - uh - loosen your grip on my - ouch - hand?" Sirius's voice came tentatively.

"Not really!" Krystyna shouted back.

"Oh...ouch - okay, that's fine," Sirius bit back nervously. "At least we're in a - ow! - hospital."

"This isn't the right type of hospital, Sirius," Sara pointed out.

"Damn," Sirius could be heard.

"Sirius, your language - you can't curse anymore, not around the baby!" Krystyna yelled.

"But the kid's not born yet!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Close enough for me!" Krystyna shouted, sounding in pain. Lorena cringed. Well, at least Krystyna wasn't screaming her head off at Sirius like Lily had done with James.

"Breathe, Krystyna, you look like a tomato," Sirius pointed out.

"Shut it!" Krystyna snapped irritably.

"Alright, al - ow - right..." Sirius grumbled and then added meekly, "But please, do remember to breathe."

"Krystyna, push a little more! You're almost there!" Sara said loudly, sounding excited.

"What does it look like I'm doing?!" Krystyna screamed furiously.

"Being constipated?" Sirius offered.

"SIRIUS!"

"Right - shutting!" Sirius said in an unnaturally high-pitched voice. Krystyna screamed very loudly once more, causing both Lorena and Peter to grimace, and there was a flood of silence. Lorena opened her eyes and stared at the door. Wasn't there supposed to be crying, especially since loud mouth Sirius Black was the father?

"She's quiet," Sirius's voice drifted into the air. "My gods, she's quiet. She's already taken after you, Krystyna. I've been preparing myself for her loud cries since Harry was born."

"Oh, Sirius, she's so beautiful," Krystyna said softly.

"I knew it!" Sirius whispered excitedly. "I just knew our kid would have dashing looks! See, I told you there was no way we could go wrong, didn't I?"

"Mmhm, look, this is your mad father, Sirius," Krystyna giggled.

"Thanks," Sirius said dryly. Sara walked out of the hospital room and pulled the gloves off of her hands. She gave everyone a nod, and they entered the room. Lily held onto Harry more tightly as she and James entered the room. Krystyna lie in the hospital bed, looking exhausted beyond all belief, while Sirius stood above her, holding their baby girl, and grinning like mad.

"What's her name?" Remus asked quietly. The baby girl opened her eyes to reveal that she had inherited Sirius's dark green eyes. Lily beamed at Krystyna, who returned a weak one.

"Dahlia," Sirius answered, still looking down at the child in his arms, "Dahlia Krystyna Black."

"Funny name," Lorena commented jokingly.

"Look at yours," Sirius pointed out coolly. They both grinned at each other.

"Gods, that was hard work," Krystyna panted, wiping the sweat off of her forehead. Sirius gently put the baby girl back into Krystyna's arms.

"Tell me about it," Lily said with a smile. She repositioned Harry in her arms and pointed at young Dahlia with her free hand. "You see her, Harry? That's Dahlia."

"Yup, she's practically your cousin, Harry," James added with a grin. Harry reached his arm out and James let Harry wrap his tiny, podgy fingers around one of his own larger fingers. Harry cackled and James's grin grew. "Oh, he's already learning how to cackle! He's growing up so fast! Next thing you know, Sirius, we're going to have to teach them how to fight against Slytherins!"

Lily and Krystyna both shot daggers at James, who grinned and laughed.

"I meant bullies," James laughed. The two women smiled at each other and then looked back down to their own children. James leaned over to Sirius and mumbled, "Not that there's a difference, mind you."

Sirius snorted but quickly turned it into a cough. Krystyna gave him a sceptical look and he smiled at her again. She mirrored his, but still continued giving him that suspicious look. She looked back down at her newly born little girl. Krystyna couldn't believe what was happening. Everything seemed so surreal. This couldn't possibly be happening. She couldn't possibly be so happy. But she was. And she couldn't think that she'd ever be happier than this in her life.

~*~

It was a gloomy, rainy night in the late of February. Krystyna stepped onto her porch and pulled her hood down. She closed her umbrella and shook it to get the water off of it. She fumbled with her keys and unlocked the door when she found the right one. That was when she remembered her wand and she grumbled a curse. Every time she got off of her work, she was exhausted and could barely think straight. Auror work was getting more stressful and tiring with each day. She opened the door and found herself face to face with Sirius.

"Hello, love!" Sirius greeted exuberantly before kissing her. When he pulled back, he bounced away into the living room. Krystyna scratched the back of her head, grinning like mad, and proceeded to hang her coat on the coat hanger - and not the couch. She walked into the living room and found Sirius's source of happiness. Little Dahlia sat on the floor with Sirius.

"How's my little girl?" Krystyna asked, walking towards them. Dahlia raised her arms up in the air and Krystyna picked her up. Sirius sat up as Krystyna sat down onto the couch. The baby girl cooed and she grabbed Krystyna's finger.

"How was work?" Sirius asked, sitting down in a chair.

"It was arduous," Krystyna said truthfully, "but we did get a lead on that Dolohov guy."

"Really?" Sirius replied curiously. Krystyna nodded her head. "The Order's going to love that." Krystyna nodded her head and rolled her eyes. "So...have you, er, gotten a new... yeah."

"Gotten a new partner?" Krystyna prompted, looking up at him. Sirius bit his lip and looked down at his hands. He nodded his head. Krystyna smiled and waved him off with a dismissive hand. "Don't worry about it, Sirius; I've dealt with it."

Sirius just nodded his head. A few weeks ago, on what had seemed to be just a routine check, Krystyna and her partner, Andy Madden, had gotten ambushed by three Death Eaters. While Krystyna had survived, Andy had been killed along with one Death Eater. The other two had been caught. Sirius had been scared to death when he heard this. But she was safe, and that was all that had mattered to him. He hadn't slept at all that night; he'd just held Dahlia all night.

"Actually, James is my new partner since he didn't have one."

"Yeah?" Sirius said, looking up at her. She nodded her head. "Bet James is glad that he has a partner finally." Krystyna smiled at him. "So you're off for the next two days, right?"

"Yup, I've been waiting for this for a while now," Krystyna sighed, closing her eyes and sliding down the couch. She sat Dahlia onto her much thinner stomach; she'd had to get back in shape after she'd given birth to Dahlia. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, I haven't eaten all day; I'm wasting away," Sirius groaned, sliding onto the floor from the seat. Krystyna grinned at him and rolled her eyes. She stood up and looked down at him. He rolled onto his back and grinned at her. She sat Dahlia onto his stomach.

"I'm sure you are," Krystyna said sarcastically, walking into the kitchen. "Now what do you want?"

"What do you want, Rena?" Sirius asked his daughter with a grin. She just gave him a gummy smile and laughed at him. "How does spaghetti sound?"

"Sounds good," Krystyna said from the kitchen. She flipped her wand around so that the items she needed to cook the food would come out of the cabinets. While she fixed dinner, Sirius played with Dahlia. When dinner was ready, Sirius walked into the kitchen and sat Dahlia in her high chair. As they ate, they talked about Sirius's work. Krystyna sat her fork down and fed Dahlia.

"Sounds like you've been having a grand time," Krystyna pointed out slyly.

"Okay, so being the Head gives me tickets to every Quidditch game I want, but that doesn't mean I don't work my butt off," Sirius said quickly. She just smiled at him. When they were finished, Sirius offered to do the dishes, which Krystyna gladly accepted. She took Dahlia into the living room and sat her down onto the floor. Sirius came in and they started to talk about what they were going to do for the next two days. He was also off so they had four days (counting the weekend) of freedom.

It was getting later, but Sirius and Krystyna hadn't noticed much. Krystyna was sitting on the couch next to him with Dahlia, who was now sleeping, in her arms. Krystyna was dozing off against Sirius's shoulders when there was a sudden pop. Krystyna jerked awake and both she and Sirius snapped their heads to the fireplace where they saw James's floating heat.

"James, what are you doing?" Sirius demanded. It was only then that Krystyna saw that he looked nervous and slightly alarmed. Sirius got off of the couch and dropped to his knees in front of the fire.

"Something's gone wrong," James explained in a shaky voice. Sirius looked back at Krystyna, who was looking a little concerned. Sirius looked back at James.

"But...what are we going to do with Dahlia?" Sirius asked.

"Catherine's," Krystyna said hastily. Sirius turned to look at her and James did, too. "We can take her to Catherine's place. She's experienced with kids. She has Thomas with her still. He's three. I'll call her up now, if you'd like."

"But it's so late," Sirius pointed out.

"This is important," James said, sounding scared. Sirius and Krystyna looked at him. "It's Lorena; she was attacked at her house."

Krystyna put a hand to her mouth. Sirius jumped to his feet very quickly. Her eyes began to water. He looked back at her and bit his lip. "Oh my...is she...is she...?" Krystyna couldn't get it out and she burst into tears. Sirius put an arm around her.

"No, I don't know how or why, but she's alive and she's in St. Mungos," James said, wiping the sweat off of his forehead. "She's going to be okay, but... I don't know what happened. That's all I know. The Death Eaters that attacked her house left her alive. It's a warning, I think, to back off."

"Alright," Sirius sighed. He looked back at Krystyna. "We'll take Dahlia to Catherine's okay and then we'll go to St. Mungos, alright?" Krystyna nodded her head and stood up. She handed Sirius the baby and she went to slip her shoes on and grab her coat. She ran through the living room to head up the stairs to grab everything Dahlia would need when she saw Sirius talking to a shaken-looking James. She tried not to think about it.

Lorena's alive and she's going to be fine; you heard James, Krystyna thought. You'll see. Everything's going to be okay.

~*~

James, Sirius, Lily, and Krystyna entered St. Mungos very hurriedly. The place was packed; people were whizzing past them, not knowing that their friend had just nearly gotten killed. There was a long line to the front, but James was in no mood to wait. He pushed himself up to the very front.

"Sir, you're going to have to wait in line!" the woman behind the desk cried out.

"I don't bloody well care, alright!" James bellowed furiously. "My friend has almost gotten herself blown up by some bloody Death Eaters and I want to know where she is!"

"I'm not allowed to disclose-"

James leaned over the desk and grabbed the woman by her collar, pulling her up. It was late; he was tired, very frightened, very worried, and very angry. He was not going to wait by while Lorena could be dying at this very moment. The woman squealed; the people behind him immediately jumped back away from him, as they were scared of him now. He was red in the face.

"Who cares if you're allowed or not?! My friend could be an inch from death for all we know and you want us to wait five bloody hours to find out what bloody room she's in?! I don't think so, lady!" James shouted. He was huffing and puffing now. "I'm an Auror so you're going to tell me what room she's in - right now!"

"O-okay," the woman mumbled meekly. James let go of her and she dropped back into her seat. She pulled out a large book and looked up at him, frightened. "W-what's your f-friend's n-name, s-s-sir?"

"Lorena, Lorena Fawcett," James huffed, wiping the sweat off of his forehead. The lady began searching through the book. Lily walked up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. He bit his lip and looked back at her. She put her head on his shoulder and she sniffed. He put an arm around her shoulder. Behind them, Krystyna had her face in her hands while Sirius held her.

"Lorena's a tough girl," Sirius whispered gently. "That's why she's alive."

"Lorena Fawcett?" the woman replied, looking up at James, who had softened up. The people around them were loosening up also now that he had calmed down. "She's in Room 413, Intensive Care Unit, on the Fourth Floor. She's just awoken from her unconscious state."

"Thanks," Lily told the woman. James nodded to Sirius and Krystyna and they walked down that hallway considerably quieter.

They walked in silence for some unknown reason. They couldn't seem to break it. But with each new step, a dread and fear began to well up in Lily. What if Lorena wasn't going to make it after all? What happens if the damage was permanent? What happens if she fell into a coma? What would happen if Lorena did make it, but was immediately attacked again? What would they all do without Lorena not in their number? Lily didn't want to know; she didn't want to think about it.

When they rounded the corner and started down the corridor where Room 213 was, they saw Remus pacing frantically outside of her door. As they got closer, Lily saw that his eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks were also red, and he looked extremely worn out; he looked older than he had ever been before.

"Remus?" Lily ventured quietly. Remus immediately stopped pacing. He looked up at them and Lily felt her heart go out to him. He looked miserable and quite pathetic. Lily ran to him and crushed him in a hug; she noted that he didn't hug her back. She pulled away and took a step back next to James. "Remus, I...oh..."

"The Healers, they saw she's just fine, but they're making sure," Remus said in an oddly detached voice. It was something he had undoubtedly acquired from his relationship with Lorena; Lily wondered if that was such a good thing. He looked back at the door. "She woke up though, and they said that's a good sign. They have never had a survivor from a Death Eater attack; she...she fought like hell to stay alive they said. She was supposed to have been dead."

"Why didn't they just use Avada Kedrava?" Sirius asked very quietly. Remus just shrugged his shoulders. It was very odd why didn't. The door suddenly opened and a mass of Healers flooded out of the room, all of them looking very tired, but each had a weak grin on their face. The last stopped at the sight of them and walked over to them.

"Is she...?" Remus asked, sounding hopeful. The Healer nodded his head.

"Yes, she's doing just fine," he told them gruffly. Lily and Krystyna glanced at each other happily. "In fact, if you want, you can go in there right now. She's awake. It's only supposed to be blood relatives, but she barked at us already that you're the closest thing to a family she's got." Lily grasped James's arm tightly and Krystyna sighed with relief. You could just see comfort pouring out of Remus. The Healer put a firm hand on Remus's shoulder before he entered. "Just don't ask too many questions about it, okay? She was very skittish and cold to us when we asked her about what happened."

Remus nodded his head and brushed past him to enter the room. Lily thanked the Healer as she and James walked inside. Krystyna held Sirius's hand very tightly. He gave her a soothing look, but he also looked a little scared. They entered the room very slowly and the Healer shut the door behind them.

"L-Lorena?" Remus prompted anxiously.

Lorena looked up at them, and Lily took a sharp intake of breath at the sight of her blonde-haired friend. She was looking almost normal, except for a black eye and the fact that she was wearing a white hospital gown. Her pretty blonde hair was an absolute mess; she was paler than usual; and also had a white bandage on her left hand that travelled down her wrist and arm. There was also a weak smile on her face.

"Hey, Remy," Lorena said quietly. Lily held James back as did Krystyna with Sirius. There was something that needed to be done before any one of them talked to her.

Remus cautiously made his way over to Lorena. The first thing he did was grab her hand and they saw him cringe; obviously, her hands were ice cold. He sat down in the seat next to her bed and she gave him a very encouraging smile. It marvelled Lily at how Lorena could look so strong when she had been the one that had been attacked. After her and James's last escape from a Death Eater ambush, she'd been shaken to the bone and had cried through nights in James's arms. Remus, however, looked to be the one that was going to do most of the sobbing. He squeezed her hand, and Lorena leaned over to brush her lips across his cheek softly. She pulled away, still giving him that encouraging smile, and he leaned in to her. After brushing a single strand of brown hair out of Remus's face, she looked up at them.

"Lorena, you look spiffing in that gown," James choked out. Lorena's smile turned into a feeble grin and she rolled her eyes. It was a sign that they could come now. They gathered around her bed.

"I didn't know I was so important," Lorena noted quietly. It suddenly occurred to Lily why Lorena was not talking very loudly; it was simple, she couldn't talk loudly right now because of all of the potions she had taken all through the night. Lily grasped Lorena's other hand tightly.

"Don't scare us like that," Lily managed. She could only see Lorena's fuzzy figure through her bleary green eyes. "You had us all bawling like babies."

"I seem to have that effect on people," Lorena replied coolly. At that moment, the door burst open and all looked back at it. Peter scrambled into the room before the door shut and he insinuated himself at the foot of Lorena's bed. "Hey, Peter."

"Lorena!" Peter squealed, looking terrified. He looked around at everyone else and then he looked back at her. She nodded her head and something between them was understood. He bent his head. "No one told me that you were hurt."

"I tried contacting you, but you weren't there," James mentioned.

"I was on a run," Peter explained, trying to take deep breaths.

An awful silence fell upon them. They just stared at each other, all seemingly apprehensive. Lorena looked down at her hands, which were now fumbling with the hem of her blanket. She sniffed, showing the first sign of weakness in her resilient façade. They all knew that she was just putting on a brave face for them, and Lily, for one, was quite happy that Lorena was doing that.

It was only then that Lily noticed something and broke the silence: "Where's Sara?"

At that, everyone looked at each other, murmuring things, but the thing that was heard the most was the sob that Lorena choked on. Everyone closed their mouths and looked back to her. Tears were falling down her face and her hands were shaking. Remus grabbed both of her hands, but instead of comforting her, he also started to choke up on sobs.

Soon, everyone was trying to stop the tears, like they were contagious. Lily found herself crying on James's shoulder and she didn't even know why. James was trying his best not to cry, but she could see that he was failing. Krystyna was crying in her hands and Sirius held her, tears now streaming down his face. Peter was shaking with tears. But the most powerful things in the room were Lorena's silent tears.

"W-what's wrong with us?" James asked, sniffing constantly to force himself to stop crying.

"N-nothing's w-wrong with u-us," Sirius said back, also trying to force himself to refrain from crying, but doing so quite pointlessly, as it was only getting worse.

"W-where's Sara?" Lily repeated through cries.

That was when Lorena's silent tears immediately ceased, but the rest of them couldn't seem to turn off their own faucets. Sirius wiped at his eyes madly, but nothing seemed to work. Remus just sobbed in Lorena's lap with her hand over his head. She wiped at her own face and dared to look at them in the faces. With a sudden wave of air, they all stopped crying, except for Remus, who was still whimpering a little. It was not because he was weak, but because he was so scared. He'd probably just had his first taste of hell on earth for the past few hours.

"Sara...I...they..."

By "they", Lorena obviously meant the Death Eaters that had attacked her. She looked away from them and stared at the wall. She closed her eyes, gulped, and opened her eyes again. There was a fire burning in them, but it was a different sort of fire Lily had seen in Lorena's eyes. It was an angry, yet fearful, sad, and strong fire. It wasn't comforting at all. She looked back at them.

"When th-they were taunting me, one of them...he said...that Sara would be in good company..." Lorena's voice was shaking horribly and she couldn't seem to control it. A horror was creeping upon Lily and she could tell that it was setting upon everyone else as well. "She...Sara...they've got her. They've captured her and...and they're going to kill her! Bloody hell, I tried to find out where she was, but...but the bloody prat wouldn't b-budge!"

"It's not your fault," Lily immediately told her, laying a hand on Lorena's shoulder. But the younger girl shrugged Lily's hand off of her shoulder and Lily pulled her hand back to her side. Lorena wiped her eyes again, but the shining tears were still there.

"Sara...she's gone; I can feel it," Lorena whispered with her eyes closed. Krystyna started to cry again, but this time, onto Sirius's shoulder as he held her more tightly. "She's...gone and I couldn't do anything to save her."

"It isn't your fault," Lily repeated. She looked around at everyone else. "It is nobody's fault."

"No, no, but it is!" Lorena groaned and shook her head. "I was too close to something in the Rookwood case. I found something that didn't make sense in the transcript of his 'statement' to the Aurors that caught him and I was going to run it by him tonight, but... Argh, I can't believe this!"

"What has that got t-to do with S-Sara?" Peter asked, rubbing his light blue eyes. Lorena gazed at Peter sadly and she shook her head.

"I was supposed to have dinner with Sara tonight," Lorena said very quietly. And she looked down at her hand on Remus. "I told her that I couldn't make it and I told her why because she asked me. I found out something that no one was supposed to find out and I told Sara. They didn't come to kill me last night because I'm in the Order; they came to kill me because of what I came across in the Rookwood case."

"Which would mean he's a Death Eater," Sirius mumbled to his feet. Lorena nodded her head slowly.

"They couldn't only attack my house and kill me because I let the information leak to someone else," she whispered, sounding very regretful. "Someone out there would still no about the inconsistency in that case and they knew that Sara would tell all of you guys after I was - supposed-to-be - killed. They kidnapped her because I opened my big mouth."

"Lorena, s-stop it," Lily admonished, slapping Lorena on the arm. Lorena wiped the tears out of her eyes.

"If I would've just kept my mouth shut, Sara would still be here," Lorena moaned, combing her fingers through her matted hair. "It's my fault she's gone."

"Shut it, okay! I don't want to hear any of this! It's bad enough that you were nearly blown up and that Sara has been captured by Death Eaters! I don't want to hear you blaming yourself for this!" Krystyna cried out, and she grasped onto Sirius tightly and her shoulders began to shake with more sobs. Remus squeezed her other hand even more tightly and Lorena looked down at him. A few tears splashed onto his head from her grey eyes. Krystyna's outburst was wrecking havoc on her mind.

"Bloody hell, Malfoy," Lorena mumbled, putting her hands on her head, as if it was hurting her right now. Lily didn't know why Lorena would say the name of her cousin, but her question was almost immediately answered. "Before Rookwood was caught, I would see him from time to time in the Ministry. Rookwood talked to Marty Rockefeller a lot, and he'd occasionally stop by my small office to...chat with me. I didn't think much of it - he worked in the Department of Mysteries, after all - but then I saw him talking to Malfoy and then I began to see them talking more."

"And you think Malfoy's a Death Eater?" James inquired.

Lorena glowered at him. "I don't think, James; I know he is, but I can't prove anything," she said sullenly, and she took her hands off of her head. Remus reached out for her right hand again and she let him hold it as she put her other hand on top of his head. "Malfoy, I just know he has something to do with Sara's abduction" - and ultimate undoing, Lily thought automatically - "I know it. I know it."

"There's nothing you can do; you said that yourself," James pointed out gently. He ruffled his raven hair with his hand and then took his glasses off. He tried to clean them off but to no avail so he put them back on. "There's nothing anyone of us can do. Krystyna and I will search for her, but...there's really no chance of us...finding her..."

"Alive," Krystyna choked out, and she immediately started to sob again. Remus whimpered again and Lorena stroked his head softly. Lorena opened her eyes.

"He did this," she whispered.

"You can't do anything about it," Sirius muttered. "You can't even prove that he's a Death Eater."

"I can," Lorena said firmly, looking at the door with grey eyes full of pain and fury. It was a mixture of emotions that startled Lily quite a bit. "And I will. Someday, Sara's going to get her justice."

"She could still be alive," Lily pointed out, trying to find a sliver of hope. "I mean, you're still alive!"

Lorena wiped her face off with one hand tiredly. "But she's not, Lily," she said. "And if Sara still is alive, I hope she leaves this world soon. I'd rather be dead than be alive in the clutches of V-Voldemort and his bloody Death Eaters."

Lorena never said Voldemort's name out loud and as it was the first time that she had done such a thing, a wretched confirmation flooded through everyone. Whether they wanted to believe it or not, their number had been reduced to seven from eight. Lily started to cry.

Sara Whitfield had been her great friend all through Hogwarts; Sara had been Lily's sister and hearing that she was dead from another friend that had survived was devastating. Lily looked at Lorena and saw through the tears, the guilt that was rocking Lorena's soul. Lorena was feeling guilty for living while Sara was dead or going to die.

But really, who had been given the better option? Lorena was alive, but she would live a life of guilt in a world full of darkness and misery. Sure, she would have plenty of wonderful memories, but could they possibly overcome everything bad that had happened in her life. Sara was dead, but she was in Heaven, a place where she could feel absolutely no pain, misery, or guilt. There would be nothing but light and never a dark moment. She would always be happy. Maybe she would be without her family, friends, and love, but she would be in eternal bliss.

Lily felt a bitter pain rise up in her chest that she knew Lorena was feeling right now. When they connected watery eyes with fiery eyes, the two girls knew what the other was thinking. They mourned for Sara's death, but she was in Heaven, watching down on them, trying to tell them that there was nothing to cry about and that they should look back at the great memories they had together, and not crying over her.

As she cried, Lily wondered if she would be able to stand it if anyone else was killed. She could already feel the ground underneath her crumbling. She had a sudden urge to hold her baby boy, Harry. She wanted to hold him forever and never let him go. But since he wasn't here with her, Lily held onto James instead.