A Priceless Gift

Chapter 3

When Draco returned home from work the following evening at about nine-thirty, he found Harry sitting at the kitchen table with his textbooks and notes spread everywhere, but staring across the room blankly with the end of his pen in his mouth. Draco laid his briefcase on the breakfast bar, shrugged out of his jacket then loosened his tie before approaching Harry and waving a hand in front his face. Harry blinked out of his reverie and looked up at Draco with a sweet smile.

"Hi honey," Harry greeted, Draco leant down to press a soft kiss on his lips. "How was work?"

"Hectic," Draco replied and grunted as he sunk into the seat next to Harry. "For every one decent, intelligent client I have, I have to deal with about forty dickheads who think they know the law better than I do."

Harry chuckled. "Have you eaten?" he asked and Draco shook his head.

"Not since lunchtime," Draco answered and flinched at the irritated glare Harry shot him.

"Wanker," Harry muttered. He got up and went to the kitchen and started pulling out some leftovers from the fridge to make Draco something to eat. Draco looked briefly at Harry's books to see what he had been working on and shuddered when he saw pictures of open wounds and puss-filled ulcers littering the pages before him.

Harry brought over a plate of sandwiches, a bowl of salad and piece of chocolate cake for Draco and placed them in front of him. Draco started hooking into the food hungrily and tried to ignore Harry's disapproving look. "I didn't have time to stop, ok?" Draco said defensively.

"I'm sure you'd find time if you passed out from malnourishment," Harry retorted and closed his textbooks so Draco wouldn't be too put off his food to eat his food. Harry shook his head and sighed. This scene between them wasn't new and happened at least once a fortnight. Draco would work late hours and not stop to have any dinner and would come home exhausted but ravenous. They never actually argued about it, but Draco was well aware of Harry's firm disapproval of his poor habits.

A rapid change of subject was in order. "I spoke to Marion today," Draco started and Harry frowned.

"Who's Marion?" Harry asked in confusion.

"One of my colleagues. You know, the redhead with blue glasses? She represented one couple last year in a nasty surrogacy case," Draco explained and Harry blanched slightly.

"Oh?" Harry said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Her clients were the ones wanting the baby. They had absolutely no chance of conceiving and IVF never worked and they had lost near twenty thousand pounds on IVF attempts. A lady - a good friend of the family for many years - offered to be a surrogate for them. All was well and good until she gave birth and decided to keep the baby herself. Basically, Marion's clients didn't have a leg to stand on because the woman who carries the baby will just about always win in these cases because she is the birth mother. It was dragged through the courts and the couple shelled out more and more money to cling on to the small hope they thought they had as the man was the biological father. They lost, obviously, and the surrogate mother even went so far as to move out of the country and get a court order stating the man could not see the child, even though he was the biological father," Draco finished softly and watched Harry's reactions closely.

"Hermione would never do that to us!" Harry snapped angrily. "How could you even compare? You heard what she said! She will sign any legal document and you told her she wouldn't need to! What's fucking changed?!"

"Nothing, sweetheart," Draco soothed and put his hand over Harry's. "I just wanted you to know that there are huge risks to this. I don't want to make the decision lightly. Tell me, how would you feel if Hermione decided she did want to keep the baby? She's only human, Harry, and technically she would be the mother. A legal document may have some weight in court, but generally the birth mother will always be favoured over anything."

Harry made a small pained noise and buried his face in his hands. "She wouldn't do that to us," he mumbled. Draco sighed and pulled Harry's hands away from his face and squeezed them.

"But what if she did? What if she saw her tiny, precious baby and couldn't bear to part with him or her? Would you drag her through the courts to try and get our baby?" Draco reasoned.

"No," Harry whispered. "If she wanted to keep her baby, I couldn't think of taking it from her. That... wouldn't be right..."

"Can you see what I'm saying, sweetheart? We can't take this lightly. I know the thought of having a baby together is unbelievable but I'm really worried... I... I couldn't handle seeing you so hurt," Draco finished in a tiny voice.

"But don't you think it's worth the risk?" Harry asked desperately.

"I... don't know," Draco said helplessly. "I honestly don't think anything is worth the risk of you being hurt."

"This is not just about me, Draco!" Harry said angrily. "Stop making me out to be the catalyst of this whole thing! This is about both of us and bringing a baby in to the world! If we go through this and Hermione pulls out in the end, you are going to hurt just as much as me! Do you think I want to see that also? I, however, think this is very worth the risk, but if you can't see that, then maybe its best we don't even consider it at all! Hermione is one of the only people I trust unconditionally in this world. If anyone can make this a reality for us, it's her. I don't know whether to be angry at you for making me doubt her or be upset that you aren't ecstatic at the possibility that we can have a baby, no matter how much risk there is!" Harry slammed shut his notebook and stormed out of the room.

o o o o o

By the time Draco finished eating, clearing up and showering, Harry was curled up in bed with his back to Draco. He shifted when Draco came into the room, so Draco knew he was awake.

Draco stripped down to his boxers and slipped into bed behind Harry and spooned up behind him. He felt, rather than heard, Harry sigh.

"I'm sorry," Draco murmured and kissed Harry's back between his shoulder blades.

"Don't be. You had every right to voice your concerns. I just didn't want to hear them. I didn't want to admit there was a downside," Harry replied.

"I never meant to imply anything against Hermione, love," Draco said regretfully. "I'm just trying to protect you... us... I'll admit I don't want to get hurt just as much as I don't want to see you hurt. After everything, I just don't think I could go through all of this and not have a happy ending, you know?"

"I know," Harry said and rolled on to his back to peer up at Draco. "And I don't know if I can handle any more shit to be truthful, but I trust Hermione and... I just really want this..." Harry's voice broke at the end and he wiped some stray tears away hastily.

Draco gave Harry a soft kiss and smiled at him, not mentioning the tears. "How about we just take the next few days to think? I really don't want to make a rash decision and we can't let our emotions allow us to. We'll think and then talk again in a few days. Hermione said there was no rush and I think we should take her advice."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore just now, anyway," Harry said and rolled back on to his side. "I don't feel like sex, either." He abruptly pushed Draco's hand away from where it was snaking its way down his front.

"Are you angry at me?" Draco asked, confused but pulled his hand away obediently.

"I'm just tired," Harry mumbled and snuggled deeper into the covers. He was asleep within moments so Draco pulled away from him slowly so as not to disturb him. He shifted on to his back and reached to turn the light off. He stared at the dark ceiling for a long time that night; deep in thoughts not allowing him to sleep. He hated when Harry was angry with him, especially when he wasn't exactly sure why. Draco relaxed slightly when Harry rolled over in his sleep and cuddled into Draco's side. He kissed the top of Harry's messy head before falling into a restless sleep himself.

o o o o o

There was tension between the couple over the next few days. It didn't help that Draco hadn't been home from work each day before ten PM; twice of which Harry was already in bed asleep when Draco finally dragged himself wearily through their front door.

Nothing of the baby issue had been mentioned since that night, and Hermione had kept her word and not been in touch. Harry had been stomping around the kitchen that morning while Draco got ready for work, slamming various items on to the bench top as he made breakfast. Draco decided then that it was time to talk and told Harry he would be home early that night and not to make dinner as he would bring takeaway home.

Harry had merely shrugged with a brief "whatever", kissed Draco goodbye on the cheek and retreated in to their office to study.

It was now a little after five thirty and Draco stepped into their foyer juggling his briefcase in one hand and a pizza box in the other. "Harry?" he called and frowned when there was no answer. He moved further in to the kitchen and saw there was no note or anything. "Harry, are you home, love?" he tried again.

Harry came wandering into the kitchen with an empty glass and looked slightly shocked to see Draco there. "You did come home early," Harry commented, rinsing the glass out and putting it in the drying rack.

"I said I would," Draco replied shortly.

Harry shrugged. "I guess I just learnt not to put much stock in your words when you say that anymore." He took the pizza off Draco and put it on the kitchen table before moving to get some plates, glasses and a bottle of Diet Coke from the fridge.

Draco wasn't sure what to say in response to that so he just flopped into a chair in defeat. "I made sure they didn't put onions on it," he said distractedly.

"Thank you," Harry said with a small smile. "You could've gotten them on your half."

"I know, but you hate having to pick the odd bit off your side when they aren't really careful," Draco replied and took a small bit of his slice. When he looked up, he was surprised to find Harry gazing intently at him and not eating himself.

"I'm sorry I've been a shit these last couple of days," Harry said softly. "I've just been a bit pissed off that you haven't been around when I needed to talk. Then I was pissed that you didn't seem to need or want to talk at all."

"Oh, Harry," Draco sighed and reached out and took Harry's hand. "I did want to... I do want to talk about this but I just didn't want to end up in an argument with you again. You should've told me you needed me, love. I would've made time. You know that."

Harry smiled wryly. "You've been busy. It doesn't take a genius to see that. I didn't want to bother you."

Draco smacked his lips in exasperation and glared at Harry. "How many times do I have to tell you to bother me if you need me?" he cried. "If we have a baby and he or she is ill or something, are you not going to 'bother me' with it? I'll slap you fucking stupid if you don't!"

"It's hardly the same thing, Draco!" Harry scoffed.

"It bloody is, Harry!" Draco said and threw up his hands. "My work is not more important than you!" Draco stopped and looked down at his hands, exhaling heavily. "Right, we're going to stop this. We aren't arguing tonight. We are going to talk about whatever we both need to talk about and we are not going to fight, alright?"

"Alright," Harry agreed and finally took a bite of his pizza.

"You want me to start then?" Draco asked after Harry remained silent for a few moments.

"I didn't realise we needed to take a number," Harry replied dryly.

"That's not what I meant. Jeez, you're in a mood," Draco huffed and scowled at Harry.

Harry just rolled his eyes. "Yes, I want you to start," he said petulantly.

"I've missed you these last couple of days," Draco started.

"You mean you missed the sex when I've been asleep before you got home," Harry retorted.

"Fuck! Bloody no! That's not what I mean! Why are you being an arse again? You were apologising to me for that not more than five minutes ago!" Draco snapped.

"Because you won't get to the point and talk about the baby! You're avoiding the issue and have been for days now! Just admit that you think Hermione is going to do the dirty on us and you won't hear the word 'surrogacy' mentioned in this house again!" Harry exclaimed and pushed his plate away.

"That's not what I think at all! Is this what you have been worrying about these last few days? That I'm avoiding the issue because I don't trust Hermione and don't want the baby?" Draco asked and when Harry looked away it confirmed his suspicions. He took Harry's hand and squeezed it in a mute apology. "That's not it at all, Harry. I've avoided it because..."

"Yes...?" Harry pressed, glad that Draco was finally letting his barriers down.

"Because I'm scared by how much I want this," Draco admitted in a small voice. "I want a child with you so much that I almost feel physical pain when I think about it and that tiny chance that Hermione might decide to keep the baby at the end is just more than I can bear. I just think it's safer for us to not go through with it than to try and get hurt at the end. At least we're guaranteed to be happy that way."

Harry's heart broke when he saw the look of anguish on Draco's face and realised just how much the issue had been bothering Draco. He shifted his chair closer to his boyfriend and snaked his arms around Draco's waist. "Are we really guaranteed happiness, though?"

"No, I guess not..." Draco murmured. "But we're guaranteed not to be hurt by the loss of a baby... and I still don't think I've got the makings to be a good father."

"There's not one quality you have that might give you an inkling that you could be a decent dad?" Harry pressed and smiled at Draco.

Draco stared blankly at Harry and then reluctantly smiled back. "Well, I guess I like, uh...hugs."

"And you have good morals," Harry prompted.

"Yeah, mostly. Though it took me long enough to realise just what they were," Draco mumbled.

"You have a lot of love to give," Harry continued.

"For myself, maybe," Draco replied with a snort.

"Crap, Draco. Stop this, ok? I'm trying to help you here. You said you want this so much it hurts. Tell me why," Harry urged.

Draco blinked a few times as he thought about Harry's question. "I don't know exactly. I just think about us sitting together and you nursing this tiny bundle with that beautiful smile you get when you have absolutely no worries in the world. Us walking in the park with a baby buggy and holding hands. Then I think about the little things like teaching our son or daughter to walk, or changing my first dirty nappy. It's a whole heap of things that I just can't explain..." he finished and fisted his hands into his hair in frustration. "It's eating me alive, but my practical side is telling me to back right off so we don't get hurt."

"How do you feel now, though, when you think about the fact that if we don't do this we probably won't ever get another chance to have a baby together?" Harry asked quietly and looked intently at Draco.

"What do you mean?" Draco asked and then a look of realisation dawned on him and he slapped a hand over his mouth with a gasp. "Oh god, you're right. I honestly hadn't thought about it. This surrogacy thing has just been all encompassing for me."

"Don't you think it's worth the slight risk, sweetie?" Harry murmured and nuzzled Draco's throat. "I know you think you might not be a good Dad, but don't you think we can be good Dads together?"

"I guess so..." Draco finally whispered. "Maybe we can, like, borrow a kid off someone for a day and see how we do?" He still sounded insecure.

Harry laughed. "We don't know anyone with babies, love and I doubt a stranger would be willing to just hand over their bundle of joy to us to try our hand at parenting."

"What about one of those dolls then? You know the ones that cry and burp and crap and stuff, like a real baby and you can practice on them? They had one on Coronation Street one time," Draco suggested and Harry just shook his head in amusement.

"So, you admit you watch Coronation Street, now?" Harry teased, knowing full well Draco was a 'Corrie' fan when he had the time to watch.

"No!" Draco scoffed. "It was merely an example to illustrate my meaning."

"Of course," Harry agreed condescendingly.

Draco remained silent and started picking some of the topping off his pizza half-heartedly. "I'm just scared I'm going to fuck it all up, Harry," he said after a few long, silent minutes. "I don't want a baby unless we can offer it perfection in everything... including fathers. Why should our son or daughter not have the best of everything? But I really don't think I have what it takes and I don't want a poor, innocent little person to suffer when I fuck it up..."

"Come here," Harry said and motioned Draco over on to his lap. Draco sank down on to Harry's knees and wrapped his arms around his neck. "We just need a bit more time and more info to work with. We'll ask Hermione to get us some books to read and we can even talk to some Healers if you like?"

Draco nodded. He feathered his fingers through Harry's hair and pressed some light kisses to his forehead. "No rash decisions, then? You aren't angry that I need more time on this?"

Harry grabbed another piece of pizza and offered Draco a bite before taking one himself. "Don't be stupid! You take all the time you need, love. We'll talk to Hermione, ok? No decision yet until we get things clearer with her. We haven't spoken to her since she offered us this and I think it might help us both." Draco nodded. He got up off Harry's lap and moved back to his own seat, glancing sheepishly at Harry before falling silent. "What?" Harry asked in amusement, suspecting just what was going through Draco's mind.

"Can we, um, make love tonight?" Draco requested and had the decency to blush slightly.

"I think I can arrange something," Harry joked and then grabbed Draco's face between his hands and gave him a deep, needy kiss. "Mark me in your diary for about nine tonight," he said lightly and got up and started clearing their dishes away.

Draco groaned and pushed down on his groin to stave off his arousal until later.