Least Likely Of All

Chapter Eighteen, Parts 86 - 90

Chapter Eighteen, Part One: Chocolate Covered Flower (Nothing's Better)

Two weeks later, Harry, Ethan, and Kaylee were put on the Hogwarts Express, leaving the rest of the family behind. The full moon was the day the children left; September 1st.

"This is going to feel different." Lily mused that evening as she and Severus watched the sun set slowly over the horizon. "Without the twins and all."

"I can only imagine." Severus said quietly as the last ray of light disappeared. "Are you sure the twins...?"

"Both Papa and Remus assured me they would be normal." Lily said quietly, slipping off her shoes.

"Were they sure?" Severus asked quietly.

"Go check on them if you wish." Lily said, starting to unbutton her robes. "Bring them in here."

"No... Just in case anything goes wrong..." Severus paused, looking at Lily for her reaction.

"I'm not going to bite their heads off." She gave him a pointed look.

"I know, love." Severus said quietly as she slipped her robes off her shoulders. "I just want to be careful."

"Yes, we all do." Lily sighed and winced as a slash of pain filtered through her body. Less than fifteen seconds later, she was undressed and curled up on the bed as the first snap of a broken bone make itself heard.

Less than a minute later, the wolf stood in front of him.

I was right... It does feel different.

You're shaped differently.

Of course I am. No huge bulge in my stomach this time.

Yes... Of course.

Come here.

Yes, love.

I want to be petted.

Pardon?

Scratch me behind my ears... Please.

Am I hearing this right or am I picking up Sirius?

Sev... Please? It feels good.

My God, Lily... Ok

.

Severus chuckled as he sat down next to the wolf and started scratching behind her ears, amazed at the reaction. She rolled her eyes back in to her head and her body relaxed as she lay down, head in Severus' lap.

This is better than chocolate...

Nothing's better than chocolate, love.

Not even me?

You covered in chocolate is the best thing in the world.

You didn't answer me.

Of course not, love. You're ten times better than chocolate.

Only when I'm covered in it.

Well, that's nice too.

You need sex.

I haven't gotten any for nearly nine months now, no thanks to you.

Bastard.

Bitch.

I know.

Literally.

Isn't it wonderful?

Now, love, when anyone calls Harry, Drake, Ethan, Pollux, or Castor a son of a bitch -- they can't argue.

Knowing Harry, he'll just start laughing.

I know I would.

So would I.

You laugh at the slightest thing, love.

I'm tired.

Go to sleep.

I hurt.

I can't very well give you a potion now, could I?

Speaking of, how's the Cure going?

That's going to take quite a few years, love.

I know... Any idea where to start?

Yes, many... All as crazy as the last.

It'll come eventually.

Eventually, love, could be a hundred years.

Then I guess we'll just have to live that long, won't we?

I suppose so.

Could you start on my back, please?

Love, you're pathetic.

I know.

Three weeks later, on September 23rd, was Remus and Narcissa's wedding. Both Draco and Harry were pulled from school for the occasion on Draco's request, as he wasn't about to sit through an hour long ceremony and even longer reception without at least one person his age. It was also appropriate; Lily and Severus were on the guest list and were considered the family of the groom, along with Sirius Black.

Sirius had accompanied Harry and Draco from Hogwarts for their three day break, much to Lily's and Narcissa's satisfaction. Draco had been invited to participate in the wedding, however he declined the offer, mumbling something about tuxes and frilly pink things.

Sirius was best man; Narcissa's best friend, a woman Lily nor Severus had ever met before, was the maid of honor. The ring bearer and the flower girl were cousins of Narcissa and Draco, along with most of the wedding party.

The ceremony was beautiful; Draco abandoned the front bench of his mother's side where he had been squished between a great uncle and a great-grandfather he had never met before to go sit next to Harry on Remus' side, much to Harry's delight. The two were becoming fast friends, despite the Slytherin -Gryffindor rivalry. Ron and Hermione weren't please; neither of them like the boy too much, Ron especially. Draco had swallowed his pride -- with great difficulty, mind you -- and started treating Ron and Hermione with much more respect than, in his opinion, they deserved.

The wedding was beautiful; Remus had managed to clean himself up and somehow, he looked ten years younger without the gray streaks in his hair. There were no bags under his eyes and he had managed to keep his eyes blue for the occasion, not wishing to be questioned by the rest of Narcissa's family about his strangely amber eyes -- the trademark of a werewolf.

"I hate weddings."

Harry and Draco sat side by side, watching couples dance throughout the pavilion during the reception. Dinner had been served; Draco didn't eat a thing. When questioned, he shook his head and waved his hand, as if dismissing the question.

"Why?" Harry asked, looking over at the boy next to him. His white-blonde hair was getting longer; it was nearly down past his ears now.

"Too happy." Draco mused, "Mum and Remus... Look at them. They look like they're about the drown in each other."

Harry glanced in the direction Draco was nodding towards and looked at his former Professor and his now-wife. They did, indeed, look as if they were drowning in one another, but Harry didn't see this as a bad thing.

"It's how my Mum and Dad look at each other all the time." Harry shrugged, "I guess it's natural."

Draco was silent for almost five minutes before he spoke again. "Ever been in love, Harry?"

Harry shook his head, "Nah. I've liked a few people... I really liked Hermione. But, in the end, it was never love. Have you?"

Draco shook his head, "Not that I'm willing to acknowledge."

"But if you had to answer honestly?"

Draco paused. "I'd say I wouldn't know, because I don't. Love's a fickle thing; there is no right definition."

Harry sighed, "The one thing I want in life is to end up in a relationship like my parents'. It's perfect, almost, to the naked eye."

"What is that implying?" Draco asked quietly, his gaze shifting from his own Mum and step father to Harry's parents.

Harry paused, debating on whether or not to tell him. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Yes." Draco said, his eyes still on the couple.

"Honestly? I really shouldn't be going and telling anyone -- especially you."

"Why especially me?" Draco asked, curious now.

"Because... well... it has something to do with Remus."

"Remus?" Draco's eyebrow shot up. "What about Remus?"

"You have to swear you won't think of him any differently, or tell him you know." Harry insisted.

"I swear." Draco stuck his hand out. "And Malfoys never break their promises."

"Ok." Harry took in a deep breathe. "You know about him being a werewolf?"

Draco nodded, "Yes."

"He bit my Mum."

Draco raised both of his eyebrows now, "Really?"

"Yeah." Harry said, shaking his head. "I walked in on her and Dad during her first transformation."

"Wow." Draco shook his head. "That's crazy."

"There's more to it." Harry sighed, "But you have to swear --"

"I won't tell anyone, Harry. I promise." Draco looked at the boy meaningfully. "You have my permission to kill me if I ever do."

"Ok." Harry looked down at his hands, trying to form the right words. "Let's just say Pollux and Castor might not be my Dad's children."

"Bloody hell!" Draco exclaimed as heads turned their way. He shook his head, a slightly tinge of pink appearing on his cheeks. "You're joking?"

"They know I know." Harry said softly, "But they don't know I know my Mum was controlling him at the time; it wasn't Remus' fault."

"Your Mum cheated on your Dad?" Draco dropped his voice to barely above a whisper. "The Perfect Couple? Honestly?"

"Crazy, isn't it?" Harry shook his head, "It didn't seem to disrupt their relationship any. My Dad left for a while, but they made up in a matter of days. After Mum found out she was pregnant, she went to tell Remus -- on the full moon."

"And he bit her." Draco shook his head, "I'm sorry."

Harry shrugged, looking ahead at his parents once more. "It's not that bad, really. They seem to forget about it."

"They look so happy though." Draco followed Harry's gaze. "It's amazing..."

"They must be meant for each other." Harry shook his head, "For their love to survive like that."

"I know I would never forgive my wife if she cheated on me." Draco shook his head, "That is, if I ever marry."

"You will." Harry said, "You'll find the woman of your dreams some day and fall head over heels in love with her."

"I suppose." Draco got a faraway look in his eyes.

"Unless, of course, your bread's buttered the other way." Harry smirked.

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?" Draco shook his head, "Meanie."

"If I came up to you and kissed you, would you ever let me live it down?" Harry asked.

"No." Draco answered truthfully.

"Case closed."
*

Chapter Eighteen, Part Two: One Of The Same (Cold Rain)

It only took two months to start a family of our own; Narcissa was pregnant by the time Christmas rolled around. Draco was the first to find out; he, in turn, told Harry who in turn informed Lily and Severus. By the time December 20th came, we had been invited over to the Snape's for Christmas Day.

Draco and Harry had become friends faster than any of us could have imagined; in a matter of four months, Harry was Draco's best friend and Draco had moved into Harry's elite group, much to his delight.

Draco had confided in me once that the Sorting Hat had considered putting him in Gryffindor, and it was no secret Harry was almost made a Slytherin. Among other things, they were quite alike, no matter how much they insisted they weren't.

Draco had lost his father to the Dementors at an early age, hardly able to remember anything about the tall, blonde man he looked so much like. Harry had lost his biological father to Voldemort on the night of his downfall. No matter how much Harry hated it, he looked exactly like James... Except his eyes. He had Lily's eyes.

Lily and I had been friends for nearly our entire lives; for the short eleven years we didn't know each other seemed like nothing compared to the lifetime we had spent as best friends. Of course I fancied her when we were younger, but I couldn't dream of thinking of her like that now that I had Narcissa. Narcissa was my life; my day revolved around her. I had no need to work; my family did have money and Narcissa had inherited the Malfoy fortune when Lucius had died.

Lily and I were both determined to stay friends; however, as the year went by, I saw less and less of her. The twins were growing wonderfully; Pollux still had blue eyes, much to my surprise. I had been sure they were Severus' children.

She informed me of a medical possibility that the twins had different fathers. It was a tricky situation to determine; if that indeed was the case, Pollux was almost certainly mine and Castor was almost certainly Severus'. I was afraid of wanting such a thing; she had her family and I had mine. If Narcissa ever discovered this... I shuddered to think of what her reaction would be.

I loved my wife; Lily had Severus. The one thing joining us was that fateful day nearly a year ago... December 27th. Severus' 34th birthday, the day after their 17th anniversary. Two days after Christmas and after their youngest daughter's birthday. Such a time it was to remember...

I missed her. Narcissa was wonderful, but she could never be my best friend. Sirius was always there for me, but I knew he didn't understand me nearly as well as Lily did. We were one of the same now -- both destined to walk the Earth every full moon as a wolf. Our eyes were exactly the same shade, only on the new moon did her vibrant green eyes show and my icy blue eyes come out. Amber... found in forests throughout the world. It was ironic.

Christmas was a full moon this year; Severus had insisted on preparing a Wolfsbane potion for myself as well as Lily, so that our families could be together. It would be the first time I ever saw another werewolf in the form of a wolf; I was scared to death.

Narcissa broke the news to both Draco and I at the same time; sitting in the living room as I watched Narcissa and Draco play a rousing game of wizard's chess. Needless to say, she won that round; Draco was so shocked it only took her three moves to checkmate the King.

I laid awake that night, just watching her sleep. I knew I had done the right thing; I couldn't imagine life without her. They were my family now; Lily was more of a sister than she had ever been before.

Oh, God. I slept with my sister.

I shook my head at the thought; I needed to get over it. However, each time I looked at Lily... Looked into her amber eyes... I couldn't help feel the rush of love I felt for her afterwards. I knew it was wrong; it was wrong in all aspects and perspectives. Even if she had no children, I would have felt as bad as I did -- and still do -- for doing what we did. I knew now she had been controlling my mind, but a small voice in the back of my mind had told me it wasn't necessary. A pit formed in the bottom of my stomach when I realized I would have done it anyway.

Sirius was right; I had craved human touch for the past thirty years. After I had been bitten, I felt as if no one cared, even my own family. Their son was a werewolf; one wrong move, one full moon away from my cage and I would have killed them all without a second thought. Who could honestly love such a creature?

Lily could. She was one of us now.

Severus could. He loved Lily as if she were his world -- perhaps she was.

Narcissa could. She loved me even after I had told her about my past.

My unborn child could... He or she would love me like the father I was and would be.

Lily's children -- each and every one of them -- loved her as a child loves a mother. Harry was the only one who knew about her.

Draco knew about me and he still didn't shun me. He didn't love me as he would his own father -- however, he accepted me. That was all I could have asked for.

Sirius... Back at Hogwarts, everyone had adored him. He was every girl's bedroom fantasy... and he knew it. Lord, did he know it. He didn't mind -- oh no, quite the opposite. He adored the attention.

While I lay there, thinking about all of this, the world kept on moving. It didn't stop as it should have; people were living their lives. Children were playing, dogs were barking, babies were being born... people were dying. All over the world, people were living out their life and enjoying every minute of it.

I refused to give up. Life was a terrible thing, it felt like, sometimes. Other times -- like now, as I lay here -- it was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to me. Life had given me my wife... my best friend... my child. I was eternally grateful for them, as they were my life. Without Narcissa, I would be wallowing in self pity... I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

Without Lily, all my secrets would be inside of me still, wanting out. I would be driven crazy by my own mind.

Without my family... friends... I would be nothing. Sometimes, life was cold as rain. The people... Lily, Narcissa... they were cold. Other times, they were warm and inviting.

It was just how it went -- you live, you love. You can't prevent your heart from trying to reach out to people. It was impossible... suppressing my emotions would have killed me.

We were one in the same... Forever joined, forever bonded. Lily was my best friend... no matter what.

What does she have to hide

What misery of life
Can such things be left as secrets
Can history be gone
Through night to breathe the dawn
In light of those left in the rain be free?
But with words of present day
Left truth to run away
To bring to light
A passion fight
Of words against her soul

Cold rain in martyrs soul

Fire falls to light the secret for me
Guiding blaze to bring the truth into view
In light of those left in rain
Be Free

But when released I see

No secret
No meaning
Pushing away this shit can't be dealt with.
Laugh at Me
Talk at Me
Fight at Me
I'm not there
I can't care to care about those
Who care and find they're love as pity

She's no martyr, She's a soul

She's a fighter, She has control
Not defense, I see a whole in her hence
I reach to have my hand knocked away
Again and Again, and then a ray of light
From the Fire we now see inside

Love isn't pity,

Please see by the blaze you lit in my eyes
No lies will spill from me again.
And in light of those left in the rain
Be free*

*Drew Hull, Cold Rain

(My song... Written for me, about me, and inspired by me. I'm a Muse! :o) )

*

Chapter Eighteen, Part Three: Until Eternity, Love

Micah Artemis Lupin was born on June 3rd, 1996, around 5:45 in the morning. She had come quickly -- three hours of labour on Narcissa's part.

Draco hadn't been present; only Remus. The teenagers didn't even know until he came home two weeks later to find the Malfoy Manor in an uproar. Deeming the stone walls to be far too chilly for her new daughter, Narcissa had ordered for the stone to be replaced with brick. What difference this made, Draco and Remus were clueless about, but she was insistent.

Remus didn't see Lily until later that summer, the week before the twins' first birthday. She kept him and Sirius well updated, however, sending pictures and notes to them every few weeks. They often included wishes to see them once more, as Lily was often cooped up in the Snape Mansion, battling eight children constantly. Dea was going into her first year of Hogwarts, their fourth to go off to the school, and Remus knew just as well as Severus did how nervous Lily was for her little homemaker.

She had sent him an owl, requesting a meeting with him as soon as possible. Curious as to what it was all about, he responded, saying he'd meet her at the Leaky Cauldron at the designated time.

It was almost as if he was drawn to her by an unearthly magnetic attraction; the moment he walked through the doors off the busy London street, his amber eyes found her. She had been looking at him intently through her own amber eyes, clutching a glass of clear liquid. He made his way over to her table quickly, avoiding eye contact with anyone else in the grubby little tavern. She rose silently as he reached her and, without a word, beckoned him to follow her.

And follow her he did; through the pub, up the staircase and into a tiny room complete with a desk, mirror, and bed. She closed the door silently behind him, the lock echoing with a 'click'.

"Lil?" Remus asked warily, taking in his new surroundings.

"I came here to tell you something." Lily said quietly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She looked up at him, their matching eyes meeting with a slight jolt of the senses.

"And what would that be?" Remus asked, taking a step backwards. The look she was giving him -- she had to of learned it from Severus. He felt as if he were under a microscope, being examined like a fresh piece of meat.

"Remus, you're my best friend." Lily started, taking in a deep breath. She had promised herself she would be in control, and she wasn't about to let herself cry. "I love you, you know that."

Remus nodded mutely, vaguely wondering whether this way going to be a good or bad conversation.

"I can't do this anymore." Lily said quietly, her eyes fixed on the floor. "This, knowing what happened... It was almost two years ago, yes, but every time I look at Castor or Pollux -- especially Pollux, I get a stabbing pain of guilt."

"You can't do what, exactly?" Remus asked, afraid of the answer she was about to provide him.

"This!" Lily waved her arm around the room. "We're together and we can't even have a normal conversation without tension mounting. Severus doesn't trust me to be alone with you, I don't trust myself to be alone with you."

"And?" Remus asked gently, his body tense.

"You-" Lily sighed, "God this is so hard."

Stepping forward, Remus set his hand on her shoulder as a gesture of comfort. "What's so hard?"

"I can't see you anymore." She finally whispered. "Ever."

Remus felt his insides turn to ice as the exact meaning of her words came to life. "Why?"

"I think we both know that if Severus and Narcissa weren't in the picture, we'd be sharing a bed." Lily said, blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill.

"We already have." Remus muttered softly. "Please... Lily... you're my best friend..."

"You have Sirius and Narcissa." Lily said numbly.

"I want you." Remus said, "Not Sirius, not Narcissa... I value my relationship with you much more than theirs..."

"Remus." Lily said softly, "Narcissa's your wife. Sirius has been there for twenty five years."

"You know everything about me." Remus said, "I've shared everything about myself with you. Everything. Narcissa... I love her, yes, but she'll never be you. Sirius... He knows things about me, yes, but sometimes I wonder if he really even hears me at all."

"Sometimes, I feel absolutely torn between wanting a time-turner and stopping us from ever doing that or just letting things go on as they are. I might lose my babies... but now, this... I'm losing you." Lily sighed once more, standing up and looking up at Remus. "It's absolutely tearing me up inside. I can't do this any more."

"Avoiding the situation all together isn't going to help, Lil." Remus said quietly, "It'll only make things worse. You know that."

"How can things get any worse?" Lily asked, brushing a stray tear away from her cheek. "Our friendship is... it's so much more than that."

"And you're going to give it up?" Remus whispered, "Just like that?"

Lily looked up into his liquid-amber eyes. "What other choice to we have?"

Taking her right hand, she brought it up to his face and wiped away a tear that had been sliding down his cheek unnoticed. He reached up his left hand and took hers within it, pressing it to his cheek and then brought her palm to his lips.

"You know I'll never be able to live without you." Remus whispered. Lily could feel his hot breath against her skin as he spoke. "I'll die."

"No you won't." Lily spoke softly, "You have your baby girl -- a daughter, Remus. You have Narcissa and Draco... a family. You won't die without me."

"Yes I will." Remus sighed, "Micah... she's the only thing that compares to you. I love her as much as I love you, but in two completely different ways. You ARE my family, Lily. Narcissa... yes, she is also, but if I had to chose between her and you... she wouldn't have a chance."

Before Lily had a chance to respond, Remus took her hand away from his face and leaned forward, pressing his lips against hers. She didn't bother struggling; he knew she wanted it as badly as he did.

She responded, but only for a moment. He pulled away before they made things worse, their breath mingling as their faces were barely two inches away.

"Remus, you know we can't. We're both married. You have Cissa... and Severus, God, if he ever found out..." Lily squeezed her eyes shut. "Do you see? We have to let it go before things get out of hand and we both end up hurt."

Remus knew -- she could feel it. Defeat filled his mind and body as quickly as guilt filled hers, their hands still joined together. Leaning forward and kissing him once more -- and one last time -- she stepped away from him.

"Goodbye, Remus." She whispered, their hands still joined. "I love you, and don't you ever forget that."

Tears streaming down both of their cheeks, Lily closed her eyes and Apparated back to the Snape Mansion, where Severus was waiting for her, sitting on their bed.

He stood up immediately and took her in his arms, his hand gently caressing her cheek. She sobbed into his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his body for support.

Lily didn't know how long to two stood like that, but she cried until there were no more tears left to cry, until the sobs that racked through her body finally gave up, until Severus had to carry her to the bed, until her eyes were so heavy they closed on their own... Until the heavy blanket of sleep finally overcame her as she welcomed it with open arms.

The sky has lost it's color

The sun has turned to grey
At least that's how it feels to me
Whenever you're away

I crawl up in the corner

As I watch the minutes pass
Each one brings me closer to
The time when you'll be back
You're coming back

I can't take the distance

I can't take the miles
I can't take the time
Until the next time I see you smile

I can't take the distance

And I'm not ashamed
That I can't take a breath without saying your name
I can brave a hurricane
And still be standing tall when all the dust has settled down
But I can't take the distance

I still believe in feelings

But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe you're close to me
But it ain't close enough
Not nearly close enough

I can't take the distance

I can't take the miles
I can't take the time
Until the next time I see you smile

I can't take the distance

And I'm not ashamed
That I can't take a breath without saying your name
I can brave a hurricane
And still be standing tall when all the dust has settled down
But I can't take the distance*

*Evan And Jaron, The Distance

*

Chapter Eighteen, Part Four: Blood Of The Father

Draco awoke with a start later that night as he heard footsteps pass his door. He was a light sleeper and the servants of the Manor knew not to pass his door in the middle of the night. Furious as to whoever had broken the rule, he threw off his bedcovers and stumbled out of bed, wiping his reddened eyes with the back of his hand. Pulling over the door, he saw the swish of a cloak just as the owner turned down a hall.

Sighing, Draco shook his head and started to follow.

"Remus..." he whispered as he traced his step-father's footsteps. Fully prepared to yell at him, he threw open the door and crossed his arms, mustering the best sinister look the early hours of the morning would allow.

Before he could open his mouth to speak, he froze. Remus stood, standing in front of a blazing fire, his body racked with sobs. They were in a room Draco rarely visited -- a room full of pictures, each of them now looking down upon the two.

"Remus?" Draco asked carefully, "Are you all right?"

Remus had swung around at the first sounds of Draco's voice. Shaking his head, he waved his hand and turned back towards the hearth dejectedly.

"I think I'll live." Remus sighed, "Go back to bed. I'm sorry I woke you up."

Instead of turning around and leaving, Draco stepped forward, his head spinning slightly from lack of sleep. "What's wrong?"

"You wouldn't understand." Remus said quietly, sitting down in an armchair. "And I don't want to talk about it."

"Try me." Draco said, "I'd understand a lot more than you think."

"Not this, you wouldn't." Remus sighed once more. "We're all allowed our secrets, Draco."

"This doesn't have anything to do with Lily Snape, does it?" Draco asked softly, stepping even closer. "Because I know."

Remus froze, his amber eyes meet Draco's blue ones. "How -- ?"

"I was one of a blessid few that found out." Draco said, slowly taking a seat next to his step father.

"How much do you know?" Remus asked, gazing numbly into the fire once more.

"I know you slept with her." Draco started, "I know she made you. I know Castor and Pollux might be yours. I know she's a werewolf."

"So everything, then." Remus said dully. "Bloody hell, who told you?"

Draco raised his eyebrows, "I have my secrets."

"I'll say." Remus closed his eyes, his head set in the palm of his hands. "You do know she's my best friend, right?"

"Yes." Draco answered, watching the flames dance and the sparks fly. "It was quite obvious."

Remus lifted his eyes blankly from the fire, focusing on a picture of Draco's grandfather. Laughing darkly, he shook his head once more. "Well, I just had one of the worst days of my life."

"Tell me about it." Draco said, leaning back in his chair.

"Do you swear you will not tell your mother?" Remus asked.

"As long as it's not an emergency." Draco answered honestly. "There's exceptions to every rule."

"This isn't one of those times." Remus said, "So please."

"I won't." said Draco, gazing at his step father.

"She -- she asked me to meet her at the Leaky Cauldron, so I did. She had me follow her up to a room so we could talk. She insisted she --" Remus sighed, "- she said she never wanted to see me again. She said we had to... it wasn't working out, and our friendship was being overpowered by something that happened two years ago."

"Is it?" Draco asked softly, slightly alarmed.

"Yes." Remus whispered, focusing his gaze into the fire once more. "Then -- then she kissed me. It was one of those... I don't know how to describe it. I knew what she was feeling, what she was thinking... It was almost like --"

"Like love?" Draco supplied, his voice not much louder than Remus'.

"Yes." Remus answered once more, "Love laced with goodbye."

"The worst kind." Draco smirked bitterly.

"Yes, well..." Remus sighed, "She told me she loved me... and it was obvious, if your mother and Severus weren't involved --"

"You'd be married." Draco finished for him. "Yes, it was quite obvious."

Remus smiled sadly, "Yes, I guess so."

"So what happened then?" Draco asked carefully, not wanting to push the issue.

"She told me... it was gone. Everything." Remus sighed, "Everything... twenty-five years worth of friendship, gone because of a one night stand neither of us wanted."

Draco shook his head, wondering if he should inform Harry of all of this. "And then?"

"I was fighting her the whole time... I didn't want her to leave. I need her... our relationship, it exists beyond all boundaries. I've loved her the whole time I've known her -- perhaps not the kind of love you're thinking about, but a more genuine, friendship sort of love." Remus smiled at the memory. "I could talk to her about anything and not worry about her running off and telling James."

"James?" Draco cocked his head a bit, confused.

"Harry's father." Remus answered, "James Potter."

"Ah," Draco nodded, "Ok."

"She Apparated... she said goodbye and left me there." Remus shook his head, "She was gone."

"Tell her how you feel." Draco suggested, "Maybe once she understands..."

"She knows." Remus said quietly, "She knows exactly how I feel. She knows she's my life... She knows you, Micah, Cissa, and herself... my life, my family. She knows I'd die for her... She knows the guilt I feel, she knows how badly I wish I could turn back time, she knows I'll damn near die without her."

By this time, the man was crying once more, tears dripping down his cheeks in an unceremonious manner. Draco flinched; he hated seeing grown men cry.

"Here." Draco pulled out a few tissues from his pocket, "Take these."

Remus took them thankfully, wiping his cheeks bitterly. "Do you have any idea how much I want to hate her?"

"Yes." Draco answered. "You want to hate her so much that she burns... burns into a pile of ashes. But you can't."

"Yes, I can't." Remus said, "I can't because I know it's my fault. Everything that's happened -- my fault."

"No," Draco corrected, "She is equally, if not more at fault then you are."

"I bit her." Remus spat, "I slept with her."

"She came to your home on the Full Moon." Draco fought back, "She forced you to sleep with her -- she controlled you, Dad."

Remus froze. He turned towards Draco slowly, his amber eyes full of amazement. "What did you call me?"

His voice was soft; not bitter as it had been moments before.

"I said, she controlled you, Dad."

A weak smile flickered over Remus' face. Draco stood up, blocking his view from the fire.

"I don't care what you say," Draco started. "Lucius -- he was a bastard. He landed himself in Azkaban... he killed so many innocents. I don't care that I've only known you for six years... I don't care that it's not biological... You've had far more of an influence over me than Lucius ever did."

Remus stood up, meeting Draco eye to eye. The almost seventeen year old boy was now two inches taller than Remus. A full smile flickered over his face as he embraced the boy.

"Besides," Draco whispered, hugging Remus back. "Blood's never really matter anyway."

Listen little child

There will come a day
When you will be able, able to say
Never mind the pain, all the aggravation
You know there's a better way
For you and me to be

Look for the rainbow in every storm

Fly like an angel heaven sent to me

Goodbye my friend

(I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you here)
It's not the end
(You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)
So glad we made it, time will never change it, no no
No no no no

Just a little girl, big imagination

Never letting no one take it away
Went into the world, what a revelation
She found there's a better way for you and me to be

Look for the rainbow in every storm

Find out for certain love's gonna be there for you
You'll always be someone's baby

Goodbye my friend

(I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you here)

It's not the end

(You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)
So glad we made it, time will never change it, no no
No no no no
(You know it's time to say goodbye)
No no no no

The times when we would play about

The way we used to scream and shout
We never dreamed you'd go your own sweet way

Look for the rainbow in every storm

Find out for certain love's gonna be there for you
You'll always be someone's baby

Goodbye my friend

(I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you here)
It's not the end
(You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)
So glad we made it, time will never never ever change it

No no no no

(You know it's time to say goodbye)
No no no no
(And don't forget you can rely)
No no no no
(You know it's time to say goodbye and don't forget on me you can rely)
No no no no
(I will help, help you on your way)
No no no no
(I will be with you every day)
No no no no...*

*Spice Girls, Goodbye

(Got a better song that fits the Lily/Remus situation? I didn't think so.)

*

Chapter Eighteen, Part Five: Half Blood

Her head was swimming with unsaid thoughts; the actions of the previous night came flooding back to her as she opened her eyes, wincing as she grew accustomed to the light coming through the window.

A timid knock on the door told her almost immediately why she had woken up so suddenly. Struggling to sit up, she opened her mouth, slightly surprised at the dryness.

"Come in." Her voice was thick and scratchy.

Harry opened the door slowly, his raven hair as messy as it had ever been. "Mum?"

"Hi Harry." Lily said, smiling at the sight of her oldest son.

Smiling? How can you be smiling? He's gone.

"Good afternoon, Mum." Harry smiled back -- however, it looked forced. "Dad wanted me to make sure you were awake."

"What time is it?" Lily murmured, absentmindedly running her fingers through her hair.

"Almost two." Harry answered. "Dad made sure everyone was quiet so you could get some sleep."

Lily smiled at the sixteen year old. "Thank you, son."

"You're welcome." Harry slipped out without another word, closing the door behind him.

Lily sighed and closed her eyes, willing herself to go back to sleep. She pulled the covers around her body once more, attempting to block out the thoughts of Remus that were swimming through her head.

Don't you dare go back to sleep.

I'm so tired though...

Sleeping more won't help, love.

What else am I supposed to do?

Face the day.

He's gone...

Yes, love. He's gone.

Why?

You thought it was for the best.

It is... but why?

I don't know, love. Why don't you tell me?

Because... the twins... you... the kids... Narcissa, Draco... Micah...

Is that the reason, love?

Yes.

Are you sure?

Yes.

He misses you terribly.

He does?

I've been listening to him for quite a while now.

What's he been saying?

Listen for yourself, love.

I can't.

Why not?

It hurts too much.

You're going to have to face the day sometime, love. Please, get out of bed? For me?

But I'm so tired...

You've been sleeping for a good twelve hours.

Why am I so tired?

You spent an hour crying last night, love.

I did?

Yes, you did.

I'm sorry.

Perfectly understandable.

I love you, Sev.

I know you do, love. I love you too... Now, please? Bed, up? I'll even make you lunch?

I'm not hungry.

If this is how it's going to be from now on, love, I shouldn't have let you do that.

Why did you?

You thought it was for the best and I figured there was no way I was going to stop you.

Does he miss me?

Terribly.

What's he saying?

He's torturing himself... he thinks you hate him.

But I don't!

Tell him, love.

I can't.

Lily, baby... You're killing him.

He's strong, he'll survive.

Physically, perhaps. Mentally, I'm afraid of what's going to happen to him.

I miss him already, Sev.

I know you do, baby.

Why did I do that?

I don't know, love.

Where are you?

The sitting room. Do you want something to eat?

Not right now... I'll be right there.

Not bothering to dress herself properly, Lily tossed the blankets off of her body and grabbed a robe, tightening the belt around her waist. She made her way down the hall and stairs, padding through the house until she reached the sitting room where Severus was lounging, sipping a glass of clear liquid and reading the Daily Prophet.

"Anything interesting?" Lily asked, laying down next to Severus, putting her head in his lap.

"England won the Quidditch match against Ireland." Severus commented, reaching down and smoothing a lock of hair away from Lily's face. "230 to 170."

"Think Harry will play for England?" Lily asked, her eyes focused on a picture of the family in front of her.

"If he wants to." Severus answered, setting his hand on her shoulder. "He certainly has the talent."

"Yes, I suppose he does." Lily said quietly.

Silence passed between the two, each concentrating on their own thoughts. Almost fifteen minutes later, however, the silence was broken when a scream rang throughout the house.

Lily bolted upright, her eyes wide. "Who on Earth...?"

"That was Ethan." Severus answered, standing up immediately. "I'll go see what was going on."

Severus walked briskly through the house in the direction of the scream until he reached the library. The scene in front of him made him stop cold, his body frozen.

Ethan was standing in the middle of the room, his wand drawn. Severus was quick to notice he was nursing a bloody nose, which was flowing freely down his face.

Opposite him was Harry, standing straight and proud. His wand was also drawn, but not pointed at the other boy. He could see Severus; Ethan, however, could not.

Lily showed up behind him less than fifteen seconds later, panting slightly. She too froze at the scene that lay in front of them; Ethan was only 14 and didn't know enough curses to hurt a fly. Harry, however, was sixteen and able to harm the boy if necessary.

"You don't want to do that, Ethan." Harry growled, his eyes still on Severus and Lily standing in the doorway.

"Why not?" Ethan laughed bitterly. "You'll get what you deserve."

"Why exactly do I deserve to be blown to smithereens again?" Harry asked, slightly amused. Severus had now drawn his wand as well, pointing it at Ethan. Lily had hers out and ready, pointing it at Harry, but every few seconds her eyes would dart in the direction of Ethan, who was now fuming.

"Short term memory now, Harry?" Ethan laughed, "Must be all those Potter genes floating through your body."

"Must be." Harry shot back, shaking his head in the direction of his parents.

Ethan laughed once more, "So you do admit it? You're a f-cking faggot."

"Am I?" Harry smirked, "Why exactly is that, brother dearest?"

"Everyone knows your father was a faggot. Look what he did to Mum -- you don't deserve my Dad, you never did. I'd be doing them a favor, getting rid of you."

"Do you honestly think," Harry shook his head, "That you, all three years of magical training, can kill me?"

"Are you willing to take the chance?" Ethan's eyes were dancing now.

"Are you willing to risk the consequences?"

"No one will know it was me." Ethan smirked, "So I really don't see any."

"Oh really?" Harry laughed, "Look behind you, idiot."

Ethan dropped his wand and slowly turned around, his face ashen.

"Mum!" he squeaked, "Dad!"

"ETHAN ALEXANDAR SNAPE, put your GOD DAMN WAND DOWN NOW!" Lily yelled, her voice reaching levels even she didn't know she possessed.

Trembling, Ethan set his wand down on the floor in front of him. With a flick of his own wand, Severus was soon holding it.

"What the bloody hell was going on here?" Severus snapped, walking into the room. "Harry, wand."

Harry threw his own wand to his father, trying to hide the smug look on his face.

"He attacked me!" Ethan yelled, pointing to his nose. "He punched me and --"

"Actually," Harry cut in, "He made another snide comment and proceeded to try and punch me. However, I got to him first."

Lily shook his head, "Ethan, why?"

"He -- " Ethan was suddenly at a lose for words. Looking down at the floor, he just shook his head.

"He's your brother... You're brothers." Severus sighed, shaking his head, "Why can't you two get along?"

Suddenly, Lily felt a tug at the end of her robe. Looking down, she smiled as Pollux reached up and smiled.

"Hi baby." Lily picked the child up, a fresh wave of guilt and pain washing through her as she looked into the child's eyes. "Where's Cass?"

"Don't know." Pollux grinned, then looked over his mother's shoulder. "Harry!"

The one year old squirmed and was immediately let down. Half walking, half crawling, he made his way over to his oldest brother, who proceeded to pick the child up.

Pollux had always been ahead of Castor -- he was the first to walk, to talk, and to learn the names of his brothers and sisters. Castor still only knew his mother, father, Dea, and Harry, and had an incredibly limited vocabulary ("Mama!"). Pollux's eyes were still bright blue, his hair a flaming red, much to Lily's disappointment.

"Castor is with Jubby, ma'am." One of the house elves was directly behind Severus.

"Thank you, Camy." Lily smiled, and then turned back to Ethan. "Do you realize exactly what you could have done?"

"He couldn't have done anything, Mum." Harry said, "Except maybe stun me."

"I wasn't going to, Mum." Ethan squeaked, "I was just --"

"Acting like a total git and pretending to try and kill your brother?" Severus cut in.

"He's not my brother." Ethan glared at Harry, who was still happily playing with Pollux.

"He most certainly is." Lily said sharply, "And I don't ever want to hear those words out of your mouth again, you hear?"

"He's my half-brother, then." Ethan snapped, "The only thing we share is you."

"Ethan!" Severus bellowed, "Stop that, NOW."

"Why?" Ethan asked, his black eyes narrowing. "It's not like I'm lying."

"You're right," said Severus carefully, "You're not. But soon enough, if you don't stop, you'll be lying."

"On the floor, that is." Lily warned. She shot Severus a glance.

"God," Ethan spat, "What's gotten in to you two today? All of the sudden, you're taking the half-blood's side?"

"If he's half-blood, you most certainly are." Lily said, her green eyes flashing.

Lily... Shh. He's your son.

He's certainly not acting like it.

Do you want me to handle it?

No.

If you don't be careful, you're going to hurt him.

I won't.

Lily... you're mad, you're angry, you're hurt, and not just because of Ethan. Let me handle this.

"No!" Lily exclaimed out loud, looking over at Severus. "No."

Ethan shot his parents a startled look, to which Harry just shrugged. Pollux squirmed to be put down, and soon him and Camy were wandering throughout the mansion once more.

"Listen," Harry started, "I really don't care. This isn't the first time this has happened, and it most certainly won't be the last. It's fine, no damage done."

"Harry, you may go." Severus said, nodding towards his son. Harry nodded back, stepping out of the room and heading towards the South Wing. He slipped inside his bedroom quickly, locking the door behind him.

Noting his father still had his wand, he took out a piece of parchment and a quill, sucking on the end of it briefly, thinking of what to write.

D,

Anything strange going on with Remus? Mum's been going out of her mind, and she's only been awake for a half hour. I know she met Remus yesterday -- I heard her talk about it to Dad before she left, and I heard her crying when she got back. Do you know the details?

H.

Sighing and letting his owl out of her cage, he tied to note carefully to her leg, setting the owl off.

Laying down in his bed, he closed his eyes and allowed his thoughts to overcome him.

This is going to be one hell of a summer.

He smiled to himself as sleep overcame him, his window open and the soft wind sending warm breezes through his window.

One year left...