The Open Closet

The Open Closet

Chapter 1: A Special Birthday Package

Harry watched as the clock turned from 11:58 to 11:59. It's almost my birthday, he thought to himself. He was in his room at the Dursleys' house. Well, that wasn't entirely true. It technically used to be Dudley's room. But Dudley had died one year ago when Ron had visited Harry on his birthday. Harry grinned; he remembered that day like yesterday.

Ron had come over to the Dursleys' house on Harry's birthday, which just so happened to be Ron's one-month anniversary of coming out of the closet. Harry grimaced; Ron had been trying to get Harry in the sack for a good shag ever since he'd come out. That was the only reason that Harry's surprise visit was a very awkward one.

An hour after Ron had arrived, he and Harry and Dudley were all in Harry's room, and he was showing them his new broomstick that Sirius had sent him, the brand new Blue Steele. Harry didn't notice it at the time, but Ron was standing in the corner with his wand out (the magical one, also called little Ron), and was reading off his hand and looking at Harry with tantalizing eyes. At the time, Harry thought Ron was stoned. The month before Ron came out, he shot up a lot. Before that, people thought he was confused or stoned. He wasn't. He was just gay.

Suddenly, light shot out of the end of his stick (little Ron), and went toward Harry. He leapt out of the way, but the light followed. It hit Dudley with such a strong force that he fell out the window. The doctors say that if he hadn't had a heart attack when the light hit him, his gluttonous arse would have broken the fall. Only later did Harry figure out that it was a love potion that Ron had gotten out of Teen Witch that only worked on other wizards (or witches, which wasn't the case).

Although Harry was frightened by how much of a flamer Ron turned out to be, he was grateful for his girlish bad aim. No wonder Ron doesn't play Quidditch, thought Harry. He's too girly. He'd probably rather paint his nails. Pink. Harry shook his head in disgust. Homo git.

Harry knew that the Dursleys wouldn't remember his birthday, again. So he had made other plans. He was going to meet Hermione in Diagon Alley to go school shopping, and then was going to spend the last week before school in the Burrow with the Weasleys. He laughed to himself. Thank GOD Ginny would be there. She would decrease the raping potential.

Suddenly, he heard something tapping on the window. It was Pigwidgeon, the Weasley owl. He was expecting Scabbers. Oh, wait, he turned out to be a bad guy. Never mind.

Harry almost didn't open the window. Please, Harry thought to himself, Let it be normal.

He let Pig in, and it dropped a huge bundle of suspiciously gay papers on his bed. After eating a little bit of Hedwig's food, he left.

He found the letter first. It read,

Harry, my dearest love,

Harry stopped reading. Flaming git. He reluctantly read the rest of the letter.

I know you don't think of me that way, but maybe this will change your mind. This is just a preview of what's to come.

Your maid in waiting,

Ronald

Harry nearly threw up. How could one go from being so normal one year to so so so very gay the next? It was mind-boggling.

Harry, although he really didn't want to, felt obligated to unwrap Ron's gift. He walked very slowly towards the bundle, and shakily reached out to untie the package. The pink ribbons fell away, and Harry wished he were eyeless.

"Oh. My. God," he said. "I HATE RON!!!!!"