Hogwarts Karaoke

HOGWARTS KARAOKE
Chapter one

Dumbledore: Hello and welcome! Welcome to Hogwarts' first karaoke competition! The judges are Me, Professor McGonagall, Professor Sprout, Professor Trelawney, Madam Pomfrey and Professor Snape. All members of the magical world have been crammed in the great hall invited to watch! So before we begin, can we have a round of applause for our musicians, choir and dancers, Voldie and the death-eaters!

Feeble claps

Author screams like at a concert, she is wearing an 'Oh Voldie you're so fine' shirt

'Voldie' and the death-eaters bow

Dumbledore: Right... Well, on with the show! Our first vict- Contestant is Remus Lupin singing "My Immortal" by Evanescence, dedicated to Sirius Black!

Snape: Boo!

Curtain goes up; Remus is standing there, eyes down. He is wearing a leather corset and trousers. Long silk gloves cover his arms. Lucius is playing the piano.

Remus: I'm so tired being here,

He's good

Remus: Suppressed by all my, childish fears,

Harry: For Sirius? Why a love song for Siri-

Sudden realisation!!!!!

Harry: Ewwwww...

Remus: And if you have to leave,

Hermione: Remus! You do not start a sentence with and!

Remus: I wish that you would just leave,

Sirius Fan-girls/boys: NO! Sirius cannot leave!!!

Remus: 'Cause your presence still lingers here,

Sirius Fan-girls/boys: (Singing) IIN OUR HEARTTTTSSSSSS....

Remus: And it won't leave me alone,

Hermione: Remus!

Remus: These wounds won't seem to heal,

Author: (Who thinks she's a vampire) WOUNDS!? Wound mean Blood!!! Mwhahaha (Cough) ha!!!

Remus: This pain is just too real,

Draco: Real pain?! Smell Snape's hair!

Snape: Oi!

Remus: There's just too much that time cannot erase,

Author: (Who is also an artist) I'll rub you out mister Lupin! Mwhahaha (Cough) ha!!!

Remus: When you cried I'd wipe away all your tears,

Harry: Sirius didn't cry!

Remus: When you'd scream I'd fight away all your fears,

Harry: Sirius did not scream!

Remus: And I held your hand through all of these years,

Hermione: NOOO!!!!!!!

Sirius Fan girls/Boys: We want to hold his hand!!!!

Remus: But you still have, all of me,

All: What the hell is that supposed to mean?!

Remus: You used to captivate me, by your resonating light,

Harry: Sirius didn't resonate! (Hermione, what does resonate mean?)

Hermione:*Shrug*

Remus: Now I'm bound by the life you left behind,

Order of the phoenix: 12 Grimm auld place?

Remus: Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams,

Lucius: 'Bout me. *Wink*

Remus: (Backs away) your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me,

Snape: When was there *cough* wolf *cough*

Remus: These wounds won't seem to heal,

Author: MUST HAVE BLOOD!!! ( Starts eating Augustus Rookwood )

Death eaters: OUR DRUMMER!

Remus: This pain is just too real,

Draco: Again, Snape's hair!

Remus: There's just too much that time cannot erase,

Author attacks Remus with a giant rubber. The Remus fan-girls and boys drag her away.

Remus: When you cried I'd wipe away all your tears,

Sirius Fan-girls and boys: *Sniff* Snuffles...

Remus: When you'd scream I'd fight away all your fears,

Author (Who magically came back) walks aimlessly round because she can't think of anything to type.

Remus: And I held your hand through all of these years,

Hermione loses the will to live.

Remus: But you still have, all of me,

Remus fan-girls and boys: We want you!

Remus: I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,

Sirius Fan-girls and boys: Noooo!!!!

Remus fan-girls and boys: Yessss!!!

Sirius Fan-girls and boys: Noooo!!!!

Remus fan-girls and boys: Yessss!!!

Riot ensues.

Remus: And-

Hermione raises her head screams, than goes out cold.

Remus: -Though you're still with me,

All: Huh? You just said he's gone?

Remus: I've been alone all along,

Lucius' cool solo!!!!!

Remus: This pain is just too real,

Draco: Snape's hair!

Remus: There's just too much that time cannot erase,

Author: I want to erase you...

Remus: When you cried I'd wipe away all your tears,

Sirius Fan-girls and boys: Waah!!! Snuffles!!!!!!

Remus: When you'd scream I'd fight away all your fears,

Author walks aimlessly round because she can't think of anything to type again.

Remus: And I held your hand through all of these years,

Hermione loses the will to live

Remus: But you still have, all of me,

Snape: Don't give it back!

End song.

Remus and Lucius bow.

Cheering and applause.

Dumbledore: Judges, your scores please.

Sprout: 6

Pomfrey: 8

Trelawney: 9

McGonagall: 7

Snape: 1

Dumbledore: 7. Remus, you have scored 38 out of 60.

Snape: It means you're crap!

Snape is interrupted by Sirius bursting through the door

Sirius is met by 283431763432645 glomps (Including one from the Author)

Finds Remus

Glomps him

Sirius: Dumbledore? Can I go next?

Dumbledore: I suppose... Lucius can wait...

Lucius: No I bloody can't!

Author: Avada Neutrogena!

The death by moisturizing spell has trapped Lucius! Oh no!

Author: Mwhahaha (Cough) ha!!! Let Snuffles sing...

What will happen in the next Hogwarts karaoke? I don't know, I'm just a narrator!