Harry Potter and the Sect of the Serpent

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: Owl Post

Harry! F&G sent me some new fireworks! For Bonfire Night! Where should we set them off?!

Dunno. Maybe the Astronomy Tower? Wait. NEW fireworks? Have they been tested?

Mostly.

What do you mean mostly?? They either have been or they haven't!

OK, so they haven't! But that's why they sent them to us! It's all in the letter!

What letter?

Dear Ron,

Hope you had an eventful Halloween without us! Business is booming, but our customer base is easily bored and constantly demanding new products. Luckily, your ingenious brothers are well up to the task. Hence, we present you with our newest selection of fireworks -- for personal use ONLY! We wanted to have them ready for Bonfire Night, but we haven't had a truly proper test run yet. Need lots of wide open space for these, and setting them off in Diagon Alley seemed unwise; excellent publicity, yes, but our current budget doesn't allow for hefty ministry fines. Thought about doing it at the Burrow, but Mum would have our heads, like as not. Thus, you are elected, you lucky sod!

We will not spoil the surprise by telling you what each one is, but please be sure to note any unusual side effects. (We don't want another flying pigs incident, now do we?) (Actually, we tried to recreate that. You have no idea how painful it is trying to convince fireworks to mate. Used up a whole crate of catherine wheels and we never could make it work.) We are accepting advance orders if any of the sprogs seem interested. And believe us, they will be.

Your amazingly fantastic older brothers,

F & G

P.S. For love of the giant squid, surprise us and DON'T GET CAUGHT!

I'm not sure that explains much of anything. What side effects?

Oh. You know. Just stuff like last time.

Stop passing notes! McGonagall's not blind, you know.

Why do you think I'm passing notes?

Because your quills are moving an inordinate amount, and I know you're not actually taking notes.

That is what brilliant studious friends like you are for.

She's the only person I know who uses big words even when she's passing notes!

I like that! Where would you be if I decided not to let you borrow my notes any longer?

On our knees begging?

Haha.

7th November, 1996

H,

Lithuania is dull. Very dull, though the lakes are nice. Rather wet. I understand now, why Lithuania did not make the Prophet's Top Ten Wizarding Destinations Worldwide; or the top hundred, for that matter. The next time a certain Professor offers to send you to Lithuania, just say, "No."

Thank you, incidentally, for asking me to stay to dinner on Halloween. Hope I didn't embarrass you too much.

Having nothing better to do in this bastion of adventure, this village where the latest gossip is that someone's cow gave birth to her calf, I thought I would write you a letter. Writing is more involved than speaking to you the other way, and thus, uses up more of my time - no great loss, I assure you. I am eagerly awaiting the results of the Gryffindor v. Slytherin match, as I have very little to do at the moment aside from contemplating your inevitable victory; the people I was telling you about have decided not to meet again for another two weeks. Please let me know the results of the match as soon as possible, and tell Neville to cheer twice as loudly for you all on my behalf.

If there is anything else you want to talk about, you know how to reach me.

Have I mentioned how dull it is here? I believe the men outside are actually watching the grass grow; this is even more distressing than it first appears, as it is most certainly winter here. Wonder if they will sit there 'til spring... Lunch in Lithuania makes a lonely supper at the townhouse seem hugely entertaining. Well, I shan't tire your eyes with any more of my grumbling; I'm off to find a library that contains books in English before I go stark raving sane.

Hoping you're well,
~Remus

P.S. Up Gryffindor!

Dear Remus,

Thanks for the letter. I tried to talk to you the other way, but I couldn't get through, so I thought I would give you something to read in case you couldn't find a library. We won the match, but only just. It was all foggy and we couldn't hardly see the pitch for the clouds. We were doing brilliantly at the start, and scored the first three goals. Then Jack Sloper let one of the Bludgers get away from him and Goyle got a chance to knock it at Ginny, which set Ron off something awful. Then, while he was busy telling Jack off, Slytherin scored. After that, Ron kind of lost his nerve, and he let in two more goals before I could catch the Snitch. It was close though. Good thing Malfoy is a rubbish Seeker. I think the team was a bit hard on Ron. Nobody wanted to talk to him much after the game, and he got kind of annoyed and went off on one about how he wasn't going to help us all out any more. Then Ginny said, "Good," and he was really quiet for the rest of the day. He had three Butterbeers from the stash he bought in Hogsmeade. It wasn't a good night. Not much else to tell. We set off some of Fred and George's new fireworks for Bonfire Night, but it was a bit of a let down. Half of them didn't go off and the other half just managed to fizzle or set the Astronomy Tower on fire. Don't worry, Hermione knows loads of good firefighting spells. She said she looked them up back in the second year when she realized that Hogwarts doesn't have a fire brigade. What a little swot.

Harry

11th November, 1996

H,

Thank you very much for the action replay. Sorry you weren't able to reach me. Seems our ingenious little devices aren't entirely reliable over large distances. I tried to contact you as well, and I found myself looking out of a mirror into some strange witch's bedroom. She was singing to her cat. I left her to it before any permanent damage was done - to my ears.

I imagine it's a bit hard on Ron to be on a team with his best friend and his little sister. Sirius and your dad had a huge row the first year that Sirius was on the Quidditch team because he thought James was trying to tell him how to be a Beater. James, as always, thought he was helping. It came out all right in the end, as I'm sure it will with Ron and the rest of the team.

You lot are very lucky that Filch didn't catch you setting fire to things! He has a particular mistrust of anything to do with fire and likely would have strung you up in the dungeons by your toes. Also, if Hermione is a swot, then I suppose I am as well; I looked those spells up for the same reason, but I found a great many other uses for them, living with Sirius and your father.

The group I've been telling you about decided to surprise me with a little impromptu gathering last night. It wasn't a very pleasant soiree, but I suppose it was all for the best, as they have decided to let me join their club. Apparently, they consider my isochronal malediction (look it up) an advantage. I am expecting to learn more about club activities and dues in the coming weeks, and then, one can only hope I will return to England, as the club meets on a rather infrequent basis.

Unfortunately, or rather, fortunately, as I was very glad to receive it, your letter did serve in lieu of a library; I never managed to find one. I'd very much like to hear from you again if you have the opportunity to write. As always, be careful what you say, and don't sign your name. Also, it's probably best that you don't send Hedwig again; such a stunning creature is likely to attract the wrong sort of attention. Do give her my regrets, though, that she won't be able to return to help rid my rooms of a few more mice.

Most sincerely,

~Remus

Dear Harry,

Detention sucks! Flitwick made us clean up after his third years today. I think they were learning Engorging charms or something. There were bits of exploded I-don't-want-to-know-what all over the classroom. YUCK! Watching Padma scrape desks was kind of funny though. She can be a little stuck up sometimes, you know? Too bad you have to do your detentions all alone. Is McGonagall making you grade first year essays for her still? What a drag!

Are we back on for studying with Padma and Justin once these endless detentions are over? Padma really doesn't blame you for the detentions, you know, she just likes to complain, I think. But don't worry, she still likes you. And so do I! What is it with you and Ravenclaw women?

X's and O's,

Gwyn

Dear Remus,

Ha-ha. Good one. Even Hermione didn't know what "isochronal" meant. I'm finally done with the detentions Snape Professor Snape gave me for vanishing his nose. What do you mean "dues?" Everybody's talking to Ron again, but he's still being very cheeky about letting us know that he's not helping us with practises any more. The only other big thing that happened is that Ron told Fred and George that Dean was cheating on Ginny. Well, he says he didn't, but I can't see how else they found out since Ginny didn't tell them. Anyway, yesterday morning, Dean got an anonymous Howler that screamed at him for being a cheater and a rogue and a charlatan and all kinds of things. It sounded an awful lot like Fred trying to make his voice go deeper. And of course, since it was from the twins, they couldn't just send a regular old Howler, so they fiddled about with it somehow, and instead of burning up like a normal one, it followed Dean around all morning shouting at him and making rude noises and calling him dirty names until Professor McGonagall got angry and blew it up. I'm sending you some clippings from the Prophet. I didn't know if you were getting it out there in dullsville. I lost the chocolate I bought at Honeydukes, but Ron seems to have bough enough Chocolate Frogs to feed the entire school. Have you got one of my cards yet? Ron and Hermione say hello. Neville says to tell you that he did his best cheering for us. And Ginny wants to know what sort of hex would be most appropriate for discouraging meddlesome brothers.

H

P.S. Ron says not to tell Ginny anything because she's already better at hexes than most seventh years and it would be giving her an unfair advantage.

Amelia Bones Found Dead

The body of Amelia Bones, head of Magical Law Enforcement, was found in her home in Islington yesterday, confirming widespread suspicions of foul play surrounding her disappearance. Ms. Bones' family reported her missing late last August and she had not been seen or heard from since.

The body was found by her sister-in-law, who was checking on the empty house. Aurors made a thorough search of the home at the time of her disappearance; thus either Ms. Bones returned to her home of her own volition, or she was returned there posthumously. The Aurors' report states that there was no evidence of physical trauma apparent on the body. Further investigations have begun to determine the cause of death and Ms. Bones' whereabouts for the past twelve weeks.

While there is no official word on any possible connection between Ms. Bones' death and the recent upsurge in Death Eater activity, rumors have long been circulating that her disappearance was related to several inflammatory comments she made regarding Minister Fudge's pardon of Lucius Malfoy and others in connection with You-Know-Who's reappearance at the ministry in June. Many believed that Bones' public denunciation of Mr. Malfoy and his associates might have led to her disappearance and now, her apparent murder.

The Ministry had no comment when asked to speculate on the cause or circumstances regarding Ms. Bones' demise.

Dementors Spotted Near Hogsmeade

Two Dementors were seen on the night of 10th November only half a mile from the town center of Hogsmeade. Several residents Flooed the Ministry at around 20:30 on the night in question to report seeing the hooded creatures or sensing their presence.

"It were like the whole world had gone all frozen," one of the witnesses, Eloise O'Riley, told Prophet reporters, "an' I heard my brother callin' me from across the moors. Only he's been dead these fifteen years. Led away by a hinkypunk." Other witnesses shared similar stories, confirming that the Dementors had indeed been close enough to cause residents to feel the effects of their presence.

Newly appointed Ministry Press-Witch, Miss Dymphana Lefou, had no comment on the incident when asked during a conference yesterday. The official Ministry position remains that the Dementors were permitted to leave Azkaban and that they pose no threat to the general public. Local rumour, however, attributes several suspicious deaths and disappearances to the Dementors, including the loss of a seven-year-old Muggle boy in Kent to "wasting sickness."

Public outrage is reaching a fevered pitch as residents of Hogsmeade demand to know what is being done to protect their town from the roving Dementors. Miss Lefou did acknowledge that the Ministry has been fielding a record number of Howlers and angry Floos over the incident.

15 November

Dear H.,

Thanks for the articles. I hadn't heard about Amelia. She was a great witch, and the Ministry will certainly feel her loss. Her brother was with our group the first time around. As for the Dementors, just be alert when you're out on the grounds. I advocate carrying chocolate with you at all times; but I advocate chocolate whether there are Dementors threatening or not. Fudge must be worried about his image if he's appointed a press liaison.

Dare I ask how, or why, you vanished Professor Snape's nose? It seems a rather foolhardy thing to do, though I imagine you had your reasons. How many detentions did he give you? Did he get his nose back, or is it gone forever? You can stop smiling now; it's not as funny as all that.

Please tell Ginny that there is no hex I know of strong enough to dissuade overprotective older brothers. My sympathies go out to Dean ---- though I can't imagine what else he expected, being unfaithful to a girl with older brothers like Fred and George. I wonder if they'll find a market for their improved Howlers? And to answer your question, I have not seen your card yet. Do you have an extra you could send?

Nothing much new here in "dullsville." The dues you asked about aren't fit for discussion here. Eventually, I am expected to contribute to the cause. The professor had an idea that we thought might postpone the inevitable, but it seems as though the inevitable may come before I gather the information we need from them. I may pay you another visit when I get back to England in order to work that out, though when that might be I still can't say.

By the way, paragraphs are your friend. Don't be afraid to use them.

Yours truly,

~Remus

Harry, what's wrong with Ron?

What do you mean?

He's not even trying to make an illusion of a moth for Professor Flitwick.

Neither are you.

Yes, but I've already finished. What's wrong with him?

How should I know?

You are his best friend, aren't you?

That doesn't seem to mean much these days.

He thinks we should be having more Quidditch practices and I said I didn't have time.

Why does he think you need more practices? You don't have another match until February, do you?

My point exactly!!

Hmm...

What Hmm? You're wearing your "boys are stupid" face.

I am not! I was just thinking that maybe something is bothering him. Other than Quidditch, I mean.

Well that's lovely. Very enlightening.

Why don't you ask him what's bothering him?

Every time he opens his bloody mouth all that comes out is Quidditch! You can talk to him if you want. I'm done with the prick until he learns to talk about something else.

Don't swear. It's vulgar.

What are you doing for Christmas holidays?

Going home I expect. Why?

Dunno. Thought you might be going to the Burrow or GP.

I think my parents want me to come home. Are you going to the Burrow?

Not if Ron's still being a prat! I'd rather stay here.

You don't mean that.

Dear Remus,

Ron is a git. He thinks we should be having two or three more Quidditch practices every week, even though it's been bloody pouring for ages (we're expecting Hagrid to start building an ark any day now.) And our next match isn't until next year!

I've been very busy lately, even not counting Quidditch. The Professors are completely mad. They seem to think that we're going to be gone for months and months instead of just a few weeks and are assigning homework accordingly.

Are you going to be back to England in time for Christmas hols?

I didn't vanish Professor Snape's nose on purpose. Padma helped me put an impervious charm on my cauldron so he couldn't vanish my potions and it sort of backfired. You can stop smiling; it isn't that funny. I got five nights detention even though it wasn't really my fault.

I am enclosing one of my Chocolate Frog cards for you.

We have been having DA meetings all the time too. Neville and Luna have been teaching the new members and they're getting pretty good. I've started the rest on hexes and jinxes. Ginny demonstrated the Bat-Bogey hex on Lavender (she says she's over Dean, but I wonder).

Ron hit me from behind with Reboris jinx and I was all sweaty and red for three hours. He says it was an accident -- I doubt it! The git.

Professor Lindell is also mental. She expects me to practice my Occlumency and Legilimency for two hours every day! How exactly am I meant to practice Legilimency by myself? Does she want me to read my own mind?

If you're not back by Christmas, can I stay at GP by myself?

Gotta go. Ron's just come in.

H.

P.S. Do you know Professor Lindell?

Dear Harry,

I can't meet you tonight. I've got TONS of homework to do and Padma's making me help her study for that Charms exam. She acts like I'm this great charms genius when really, it's just stuff we did ahead of you guys. Ugh.

How about tomorrow night? Where shall we go? I know Cho's boyfriend takes her up to the Astronomy Tower...

Write me back when you stop blushing.

Gwyn

Harry --

I'm not going to be able to make it tonight. Someone stole my Potions notes out of my bag (three guesses who) so I'm having to copy Padma's and it took me two hours to persuade her to let me look at them, so I've got to do them now while I've got the chance. And you thought Hermione was a tightass -- Gawd!

SORRY! =(

Gwyn

20 November

H.,

Sorry to have taken so long in replying, but things are in motion here. I had no idea this club was so active, but I have since learned that they are pursuing several dubious lines of research, and I have been called upon as a new member to give opinions et cetera. They have also offered several suggestions as to how I might spend my time this coming weekend. I'm pleased to say, I declined all of their offers; some were rather disturbing to say the least.

Have you spoken to Ron about what might be bothering him? Perhaps it's more than Quidditch mania. When Sirius and your dad fell out that time, it turned out that James was busy "helping" Sirius all the time because he was really afraid that Sirius would show him up or somehow take his place with the team. It was silly, of course, but that's just how he was feeling. Do you think Ron might be feeling the same?

I can't say yet whether or not I'll be back in time for Christmas, but I don't think anyone would be keen on the idea of you staying in the house by yourself for the whole of the holidays. Besides, it really isn't my decision; I'm certain some sort of arrangements are already being made for you, though. Molly would never let you be alone for Christmas.

I don't believe I have ever met your Professor Lindell. Am I right in thinking that someone told me she used to be a Scriptionist? If so, what on earth is she doing teaching schoolchildren Defence Against the Dark Arts? Not that it isn't a valuable occupation of course, but Scriptionists are in high demand. Come to think of it, I did know a girl named Lindell in school, but she died a long time ago.

Thank you for the Chocolate Frog card, but you should have signed it for me. Do try to talk to Ron. I'm sure it's all a misunderstanding, but if all else fails, Viritus Puya, the Greenbum hex, is a good counterattack to the Reboris.

Yours,

~Remus

Hi Harry,

So, listen to this. I saw Draco lurking around outside my Muggle Studies class again today. I KNOW he doesn't take Muggle Studies, and there aren't any other classrooms over that way. WEIRDNESS! Justin got all big brothery when I mentioned it to him and he said he would walk me to class from now on. Ha! He's as bad as you are.

Here's that book you wanted to borrow. It's really good. Very creepy ending. You should eat it up.

Luv,

Gwyn

15 September

Dearest Gwendolyn,

I worry that my actions yesterday might have seemed too forward. I realize that you are a lady of sophistication and taste, and I would not want you to think of me as a common boor. I am just so overcome by your beauty whenever you are near me, that I take leave of my senses and do foolish things.

Allow me the chance to make it up to you. I cannot believe that our meeting this summer was purely by chance; the daughter of an important American politician and the heir of the most respected wizard house in Britain do not meet by chance, dance as we danced, and say it was nothing.

Your devoted admirer,

Draco Malfoy

Remus,

What's this weekend?

It isn't that I was worried about being alone for Christmas. I think I'd probably prefer it. Or maybe just with you and Buckbeak.

If Ron's got a problem, he should talk to me about it. Despite what Professor Lindell might think, I am not a mind reader. Never mind about this weekend. Professor Lindell's got a big calendar kind of thing painted on her wall, and I checked it when I was there for my lesson just a bit ago. She says I'm not practicing my Legilimency, and I told her that I didn't know how to and she got shitty/shirty with me. Sometimes she's cool and sometimes she's not. At the moment I am worried because Malfoy won't leave Gwyn alone. I found this sleazy note he wrote her stuck in a book she lent to me. She told me he gave it to her ages ago. She also told me that she thinks he's following her. I told her not to go anywhere alone, but she doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. She keeps calling him her "stalker" and laughing about it and accusing me of wanting to follow her to the loo. But she doesn't know him like I do.

H.

Dear Remus,

How are you? It's been a couple of days, and I hadn't had a letter back from you yet. So I thought maybe my last one went astray somehow, which is OK because it was mostly just waffle.

Please write soon.

H.

Dear Remus,

Are you OK? I thought my first letter might not have reached you so I sent another, but they couldn't both have got lost, could they? I hope you're OK.

Please write soon!

H.

Dear Remus,

If you don't write back to me in the next two days, I am telling Dumbledore. If you're angry with me, that's OK, just write "I'm OK." on the back of this note and send it back and I won't bother you any more.

H.

27 November

Dear Harry,

I'm sorry I didn't write to you sooner, but I am OK and I am definitely not angry with you. Why on earth would I be angry with you? This month was difficult because I didn't have my potion from Professor Snape. I was a lot more ill than I have been in a while, which is why I couldn't write. I didn't mean to worry you. I would never knowingly do that.

I am still very tired, so I will keep this short. The club is changing headquarters. They do that every few weeks, I have found out. As soon as I am able, I will be going with them. I will try to be home for Christmas. I will write again when I am settled.

Please don't worry about me. I am tougher than I look.

Your friend,

~Remus