Harry Potter and the Sect of the Serpent

CHAPTER SIX - Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes

The next few weeks at Grimmauld Place were devastatingly, blindingly, mind-numbingly dull. Ginny had been so bored that she had allowed Hermione to teach her how to knit without magic, and so far they had produced three or four holey, knobby scarves between them. Ron and Harry had played so many games of wizard's chess that Harry was actually getting rather good and came quite close to beating Ron several times, much to Ron's chagrin. The cleaning that had occupied them the previous summer had, to a large extent, already been finished, and without Mrs. Weasley around to guilt or goad them, they were loath to start any new projects. Various Order members came and went, but no more meetings were called, and no one seemed particularly keen on telling Harry any more than he already knew. Frankly, that suited him fine.

A week before they were set to leave for Hogworts, and just when Harry was beginning to favorably compare his time at the Dursleys' with his past few weeks at Grimmauld Place, Mrs. Weasley and Charlie turned up after breakfast just back from Romania. Before long the house was humming with activity. Fred and George popped over almost immediately, complaining that they hadn't had a decent meal in weeks, and bringing a box of their new "After Dinner Entertain-Mints" to barter with. Various members of the Order including Kingsley Shacklebolt and Emmeline Vance kept dropping in to say hello, ask Mrs. Weasley how her trip had been, and wonder what she had planned for dinner. So, Mrs. Weasley happily started cooking around noon and didn't finish until dinner time when the long wooden table in the kitchen was groaning from the weight of all the food and every seat was filled.

The feasting lasted for several hours and concluded with everyone sampling one of Fred and George's new mints, each of which had a different comical effect. Ron's skin turned bright purple for several minutes which clashed appallingly with his bright red hair; Mr. Weasley's voice shot up several octaves making him sound something like a hyperactive chipmunk; Ginny and Hermione both chose the same kind which made them each sprout luxuriously long and full mustaches; Charlie took one that made him bark quite convincingly like a dog, and Harry's made tiny silvery bubbles come out his nose every time he laughed.

They were all having a good laugh at Mad-Eye who had finally been persuaded to take a mint which made great quantities of yellow steam shoot from both ears, when Mrs. Weasley finally announced that it was time for bed. She shooed them all upstairs and said "And no talking either! We've got a big day tomorrow and you need your rest!" in her best motherly voice. Harry found he didn't even mind that she hugged him rather longer and more tightly that was absolutely necessary before bidding him goodnight.

The next morning, Harry stumbled downstairs to find Fred and George snoring on the couches in one of the first floor parlors and Mrs. Weasley already in the kitchen cooking.

"Morning Harry dear," she said without even looking around. "You're up early." Harry yawned in reply. Mr. Weasley suddenly came bustling down the stairs. He was dripping wet.

"Raining cats and dogs out there!" he exclaimed as he kissed his wife on the cheek. "Not a very good day for shopping!" He gave Harry a friendly pat on the shoulder as he sat down next to him and dumped an arm full of soggy Muggle newspapers onto the table. He'd taken up reading them "for research" he said, but Harry had noticed he usually only looked at the used car adverts and the funnies.

"Shopping?" Harry asked as Mrs. Weasley passed him a huge plate of eggs, tomatoes, kippers, and toast.

"Yes dear," Mrs. Weasley replied, "your Hogworts letters arrived this morning, and Arthur and I thought you four could do with a bit of an outing." Harry looked up anxiously as Mrs. Weasley handed him a fat envelope. The letter contained the results of his fifth year OWL exams, and would tell him which NEWT level classes he'd been accepted into. Harry swallowed hard. The number of OWLs he earned would have a direct bearing on whether or not he could do the only thing he'd ever thought of doing after school, namely, become an Auror.

Before he had drummed up the courage to open his letter, Hermione and Ginny showed up, fully dressed and wide awake. Ron stumbled into the kitchen after them looking bleary eyed and cotton mouthed. He slumped over to the seat next to Harry and collapsed into it blinking and yawning exaggeratedly.

"Morning," he said hoarsely. "I'm starved." He reached over and grabbed a piece of toast off of Harry's plate. "Wazzat?" he asked gesturing to the letter with his crust.

"Hogworts letters are here!" Mrs. Weasley said brightly, passing out the envelopes between them. Ginny and Hermione tore into theirs excitedly as they sat down opposite Harry and Ron. Ron swallowed his toast with a huge gulp. He suddenly looked much more awake as he held the fat envelope in his hands.

"I made prefect!" Ginny squealed happily waving her badge over her head.

"Oh Ginny!" Mrs. Weasley cooed, swooping down to hug her daughter. Mr. Weasley pounded the table happily.

"That's a full house!" he exclaimed.

"Some of us are trying to sleep!" Fred yelled from the doorway, his eyes only barely open, one sock missing. He squinted into the kitchen. "What's going on?"

"Ginny made prefect," Mrs. Weasley said, "so stop acting surly and come and congratulate her." Fred frowned as if he hadn't quite comprehended as George poked his head around the doorframe.

"Breakfast!" George exclaimed. "Excellent!"

In the commotion, Ron leaned over to Harry. "What do you reckon?" he asked, nervously eyeing his envelope.

"We'll open them together," Harry nodded. Ron bit his lip and looked solemn. As one, they tore into their envelopes, but before they had a chance to look at the contents, Hermione and Mrs. Weasley both gave a happy little shriek.

"Eleven OWLs!" Mrs. Weasley cried, hugging Hermione tightly. "ELEVEN! That must be something like a record! Fred, go and fetch Errol so Hermione can send word to her parents. Eleven!"

Harry and Ron looked at each other despairingly. Neither of them was going to earn anywhere close to eleven OWLs -- they hadn't even sat that many exams! Taking a deep breath, Harry and Ron both extracted the sheaves of parchment from their envelopes. As Harry unfolded his, something heavy fell into his lap.

"What about you, Ron?" Mrs. Weasley asked, dabbing her eyes with the corner of her apron.

"Yes Ronnie," Fred said, sliding into a seat next to him, "tell us how the ickle prefect did." Ron looked down at his letter and his ears began to turn bright red.

"Well Ron?" Mrs. Weasley prodded as silence fell over the room.

"Five," breathed Ron with relief. "Five! I got five!"

"Five!" Fred scoffed. "That's disgraceful! And you call yourself our brother!"

"Five OWLs is perfectly acceptable," Mrs. Weasley said rushing over to hug Ron.

"That's what I mean!" Fred said, disgusted. Mrs. Weasley shot him a venomous look before turning to Harry.

"And what about you, Harry dear?" she asked kindly. Harry hadn't been paying much attention to the ruckus around him. Instead, he had been focused on the small, heavy, scarlet and gold badge that had fallen out of his envelope and onto his lap.

"Yeah Harry," Ron said confidently, "what did you get?"

"Quiddich captain," Harry said, looking up with a dumb look on his face. For a moment everyone was silent, then Fred and George burst into war whoops and leaped from their seats.

"Brilliant!" George shouted pounding the table so hard that Ginny's toast went flying.

"Knew you had it in you!" Fred said jovially slapping Harry on the back.

"But..." Harry said confused, "I was banned! For life!" Hermione scoffed.

"By Umbridge, not by anybody who counts!" she said triumphantly. "I'm sure Dumbledore rescinded it as soon as he was back in his office."

"You can be seeker again if I can be a chaser," Ginny said with a grin.

"Gee thanks," Harry laughed.

"Oooo! Mum! Can I have a new broom like Ron's?" Ginny said suddenly hopping up from her chair. "I'm going to need one if I'm going to play chaser!"

Harry looked over at Ron who was staring at the badge.

"Well done, mate!" Ron said, a hint of awe in his voice. "I mean, we all knew it would be you once Angelina left."

"Yes, congratulations Harry!" Mrs. Weasley said. "But how many OWLs did you get?"

"Oh," Harry hadn't even bothered to look at his OWL scores yet, he'd been so absorbed with his badge. "Er... six," he said after fishing out the correct bit of parchment.

"Six?" Ron scoffed snatching the parchment. "How did you manage an E in Potions, and I only got an A?" Harry shrugged and shook his head. All he could think of was that he had gotten all the classes he needed to try for a position as an Auror -- and that he was quiddich captain!

"Well this calls for a celebration!" Mr. Weasley announced, standing up at the head of the table. "We know it's been hard on you kids being cooped up in this house all summer, so we thought we'd all go to Diagon Alley today to shop for your school supplies, let you get out and stretch your legs a bit. Moody and Lupin will be here soon, so why don't you all get your things together quick."

The result of this missive was immediate chaos. Ginny and Hermione began doing a little happy dance around George. Fred started congratulating Harry all over again and discussing training tactics, and Ron, not about to miss another meal, began shoveling food into his mouth at an alarming rate.

The upshot was that when Moody and Lupin did arrive shortly thereafter, none of them were even remotely ready to go. The twins disapparated noisily after making both Mrs. Weasley and Moody promise that they would make time to see their shop. Finally, Mrs. Weasley's impassioned shrieking got the rest of them assembled in front of the fireplace and at least mostly ready to go.

Moody went first, his head appearing above the grate again a few moments later to signal the all clear. Harry went next and was forcefully reminded how much he disliked traveling by floo powder as he coughed up a mouthful of ashes at the other end while Moody pounded him hard on the back.

Once everyone had arrived at the Leaky Cauldron, Moody led the way through the dingy pub, into the courtyard, and out into Diagon Alley where it was pouring rain. Everyone had been chatting animatedly as they moved through the pub, but a grave silence fell over them one by one as they came out into the street.

Diagon Alley looked nothing like the bustling, noisy, energetic place Harry remembered. Gone were the throngs of eager shoppers, the sellers hawking their wares, and the carts and interesting outdoor displays of goods. In their place was a veritable ghost town. Only a handful of witches and wizards were scurrying hurriedly from shop to shop, and the only sounds were the raging storm, the clatter of doors shutting, and the occasional loud CRACK of someone apparating.

"Arthur..." Harry heard Mrs. Weasley murmur in a frightened tone.

"I expect the weather's kept everybody at home today," Mr. Weasley replied loudly in a falsely cheerful tone, but Harry didn't think it sounded as though he even believed himself. Harry had never seen Diagon Alley look this empty, especially not just before the start of a new term when all the students needed to buy books and supplies.

"Let's be quick then," Lupin muttered. Moody nodded and they strode out into the street at a brisk pace. Harry and the others followed, holding cloaks up over their heads to protect themselves from the rain, although it was a losing battle. They dashed into Flourish and Blotts first and were met by a blast of hot air. As Harry passed through the doorway, he realized that his hair and clothes, which had been soaked from the rain, were suddenly dry.

"Nice touch," Mrs. Weasley said admiringly, patting her hair, "putting a quick drying charm on the doorway! Shows customer appreciation!" Hermione brushed past Harry with the look of a hunter intent stalking on a kill, and the others hurried to get out of her way.

"Never stand between Hermione and her books!" Ron muttered. Harry and Ron made their way around the store picking up their new textbooks together, as they would have all the same classes except for Potions.

"Don't know how you managed an OWL in Potions when I didn't," Ron repeated grumpily as Harry pulled down a massive tome called simply Advanced Potion Making. "I mean, half the time Snape vanished your potions before they even got turned in!" Harry tried to shrug, but found it difficult to do under the weight of all his new books. He wondered why Ron was so keen on potions all of the sudden, when for the last five years he'd have done anything to skive off of it.

As they approached the counter, they could see Mrs. Weasley and Ginny already waiting, and a huge walking tower of books that was Hermione staggering towards them from the other direction. Lupin hurried up to her and took half the stack before she collapsed under the weight, but Harry didn't think he'd ever seen her look more pleased.

Trying not to expose their purchases to the elements, the motley group dashed from store to store buying ink, quills, parchment, potions ingredients, and all the other bits and bobs they would need for the next term. Harry and Ron spent a happy half hour wandering around Quality Quiddich Supplies while Ginny was measured for her new broom and wouldn't have left even then if Mrs. Weasley hadn't removed them forcibly from the store. Ron had grown so much since the previous year that he had outgrown all of his older brothers' hand-me-down robes, even those from Bill's seventh year, so Mrs. Weasley hauled him off to the second hand shop as the rest of them dashed into a tiny, closet-sized shop with a large purple sign over the doorway which read Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes in fancy gold script. The six of them almost completely filled the shop from wall to wall, and they had to step carefully around each other in order to move about.

Once inside, Harry found himself in what could easily have been a miniaturized version of Zonko's joke shop in Hogsmeade. What the room lacked in size, however, it more than made up for in color. The walls were lined from floor to ceiling with shelves full of all of the trick items Fred and George had been perfecting since their school days. One whole section of shelving was dedicated to the fabulous fireworks they had set off at Hogworts before their dramatic 'escape' the previous year. The display even had moving photos of what the impressive fireworks looked like in action, including one of a large green sparkler which wrote POO in the air over and over again.

Next to that were boxes of trick wands which turned into rubber chickens or feathers or other odd things when they were handled; invisible head hats, which vanished the wearer's head, in several fashionable colors; and large drab green boxes labeled simply "Portable Swamp."

The opposite side of the tiny space was taken up with a long glass display case filled with all of the Weasleys' comical confections. Skiving Snackboxes were stacked neatly at one end, with each of the treats that made you ill on sale separately as well; trays of After Dinner Entertain-Mints filled out the middle with neat little signs in George's handwriting next to each variety explaining their effects; and various assorted other treats were displayed at the far end, including Canary Creams, and the notorious Ton Tongue Toffees that the twins had fed to Dudley. Fred and George's best friend, Lee Jordan was manning the counter, doling out sweets to two young boys that Harry thought he recognized as first or second years from Slytherin.

"Oh honestly," Hermione grumbled, hands on her hips, as she watched the boys leave with their treats, "I don't think they should be selling these things to first and second years..."

"Yeah," Harry agreed with a grin, "not unless they agree to give us a customer list so we'll know who not to accept sweets from!" Ginny dashed up the stairs in the back and brought down Fred and George, who were beaming with pride.

"This is a wonderful shop boys," Lupin said, shaking George's hand.

"Where's Mum?" Fred asked, looking around anxiously.

"She'll be along in a minute," Mr. Weasley assured him. Ginny squeezed through the group to stand next to Harry and Hermione.

"Mum hasn't seen the shop yet," she said under her breath.

"Is she still upset about it?" Harry asked nervously. He had given the twins the seed money they'd needed to get started on this venture, and he wasn't sure Mrs. Weasley had ever entirely forgiven him for it.

"Well," Ginny said slowly, "it's a bit hard to tell, but I hardly think she's clamoring for them to join the Ministry any more..."

Just then, the bell over the door tinkled, and everyone fell silent as Ron and Mrs. Weasley walked into the room. Ron sidled away from his mother as quickly as possible, as though he were afraid of getting caught in the crossfire. Mrs. Weasley stood staring around the tiny shop for a few moments, shaking water from her cloak distractedly. She walked up one side, looking at all the shelves, and the others made way for her.

When she reached the back, Fred and George were standing together, barely breathing as they waited for her reaction. She turned to look at them with a stern face, but suddenly her lip trembled, broke into a smile, and she grabbed them both into a bone crushing hug.

"Oh boys!" she cried through her tears. "You did all this yourselves? It must have taken so much hard work! I'm so proud of you!" It was as though the entire group took a collective sigh of relief.

"I guess Mum doesn't mind anything as long as it's hard work!" Ron said with a grin. Fred and George led their mother around the shop by the hand pointing out each thing in detail and they even took her upstairs and showed her the tiny two-room flat they occupied above the store. When she had had the grand tour, Moody announced that they needed to be moving on.

"You might put a quick drying charm on the door!" Mrs. Weasley suggested as the rest of them bustled out into the pouring rain. "It creates a feeling of customer appreciation!"

Harry glanced back at the shop window and saw Fred giving him the thumbs up as George and Lee did an excited little jig behind him. Harry smiled happily. Everything seemed to be going right for once.

A brilliant flash of lightning and a loud clap of thunder shattered Harry's thoughts. He blinked in the rain, momentarily blinded by the bright light when suddenly, Mrs. Weasley screamed. Harry tried to see what was wrong, when Lupin abruptly grabbed Harry by the shoulders and pushed him roughly to the ground where mud splattered up into his face.

"What's going on?" Harry choked.

"Stay down!" Lupin hissed. Harry ventured a glance upwards as another flash of green lightning lit up the sky and saw a massive burn mark in the wall near where he had been standing. He realized with a shock that it was not seeing lightning.

"I see him!" Moody shouted. "Arthur!"

"Get back to the Leaky Cauldron!" Mr. Weasley shouted, prying his wife's hands off of his arm. Mrs. Weasley nodded, looking terrified as she grabbed Ginny. Suddenly, Lupin was helping Harry to his feet. Ron and Hermione were emerging from behind a cart where they had obviously ducked. Through mud and rain spattered glasses, Harry saw Mrs. Weasley shepherding them back towards the Leaky Cauldron as fast as she could. Mr. Weasley was running up a side alley, presumably after Moody, but Harry had no time to look. Lupin grabbed him roughly by the shoulders and they set off at a dead run for the pub.

Inside, Mrs. Weasley was standing by the roaring fire, her face white as a sheet. It looked as though the others had already gone. Her hands were shaking as she approached them.

"Remus did you see?" Lupin shook his head as he pushed Harry towards the fire.

"Quickly Harry," he breathed, passing Harry the pot of floo powder. He took a handful and threw it into the grate, shouting "Grimmauld Place!" With a woosh of hot air and ash, he found himself standing in the fire in the basement kitchen looking into Hermione, Ron, and Ginny's anxious faces. He stepped out, and Mrs. Weasley and Lupin followed close behind him.

For a moment, they all stood silently staring at the fire, but there was no sign of Mr. Weasley or Moody. They were all covered from head to toe in mud, rain, and ash. Ginny and Mrs. Weasley seemed to have faired the best; Hermione and Ron were both plastered in muck from crouching behind the cart, and Lupin and Harry were covered in filth from having lain in the lane.

"Don't stand around catching cold and dripping all over the clean floor," Mrs. Weasley said suddenly, looking around at them all. "Hurry up and put on some dry clothes!" Reluctantly, Harry and the others filed up the stairs towards their bedrooms.

"What happened?" Ginny asked, her teeth chattering with cold as they mounted the stairs.

"I think someone was trying to curse me," Harry replied glumly as he wiped his glasses on the inside of his shirt. "I saw where the spell hit the wall." Hermione shook her head. Her expression was grave.

"It wasn't for you, Harry. I think they were aiming at Mad-Eye." Harry frowned. Hermione was right. The burn had been several feet ahead of him. If someone had been aiming for Harry, he or she was a terrible shot.

"A lot of prisoners escaped from Azkaban when the dementors left," Harry recalled from the Order meeting several weeks before. "Maybe one of them still has a grudge against Moody."

"That'll be it!" Ron said excitedly. "I bet it was somebody he put away years ago that's been holding onto his sanity by plotting how he would get back at Moody! Just like Sirius --" Ron cut himself off quickly and turned a wide-eyed apologetic look on Harry, who just nodded. Hermione looked somewhat unconvinced, but said nothing. Harry noted that she was quite a bit muddier than he had first realized.

"What happened to you?" he asked, gesturing to her ruined clothes. She glanced down at them with distaste.

"Ron pushed me behind that cart," she said quietly, but she didn't sound mad about it. Ron's ears began to turn red. Ginny gave a little giggle, and both Ron and Hermione gave her a death look, so Harry decided not to press the issue.

Harry and Ron left the girls at their room and quickly threw on some dry clothes before heading back down to the kitchen. Lupin had changed out of his muddy robes and was making tea. Mrs. Weasley, however, did not seem to have moved from her spot in front of the fire and was still dripping wet. Suddenly, the flames turned green, and Mr. Weasley stepped out, soaking wet and covered in ash.

"Oh thank heavens!" Mrs. Weasley cried hurrying over to hug him. "Arthur are you all right? What happened? Where's Moody?" Mr. Weasley patted her gently and sat down heavily, taking off his glasses to clean the ash from them on his robe. Unfortunately, his robe was also covered in grime, so he only managed to smear them more.

"I'm fine. Moody's fine," he replied tersely. Lupin came over and handed him a cup of tea as Ginny and Hermione came quietly into the room behind Ron and Harry.

"Did you find him?" Lupin asked.

"We found... someone," Mr. Weasley replied taking a sip of tea. "He was dead, but Mad-Eye is certain it's the same man he saw."

"Dead?" Ron squawked. "Blimey..."

"How?" Lupin asked. Mr. Weasley looked over and shook his head.

"We're not sure. It wasn't us though. Neither of us ever said a spell. Moody took the body to Auror headquarters for analysis. Hopefully we'll be able to find out who he was and how he died."

"You didn't... recognize him, then?" Lupin asked. Mr. Weasley shook his head.

"We checked. He didn't even have the dark mark."

"Then he wasn't a Death Eater?" Hermione asked.

"We're not sure what he was," Mr. Weasley replied.

"Was he after me or Moody?" Harry asked. They all looked at him.

"We don't know," Mr. Weasley replied. "The spell was meant for Moody, but he saw it coming and ducked out of the way. It was the killing curse, but he thinks it wasn't him they were really after. We couldn't find his wand so--"

"Well!" Mrs. Weasley said suddenly, standing up. "I think that's quite enough!" Harry opened his mouth to protest, but Lupin beat him to it.

"Molly, we all know how you feel, but Harry has a right to know. Dumbledore decided--"

"Oh yes!" she interrupted. "Dumbledore decided! Without asking any of us, either!"

"And if he had," Mr. Weasley interjected, "we would have supported him." He looked his wife straight in the eye, and she stared at him, obviously surprised. Harry wondered if Mr. Weasley was thinking of their little chat several weeks ago. Mrs. Weasley opened her mouth as if to argue, but Mr. Weasley didn't give her a chance. He turned to Harry.

"We don't know for sure, but Moody reckons the man was trying to get him out of the way first before going for you." The room was silent. Harry stared at Mr. Weasley and nodded solemnly. Mrs. Weasley closed her mouth suddenly and pressed her lips into a very thin line. Hermione was biting her lip and holding Ginny's hand. Ron was frowning at the floor. But Harry wasn't surprised. It always seemed to be him.

Mrs. Weasley took a deep breath and wiped her hands carefully on her apron. "Well," she said in a disapproving tone, "if you're finished terrifying everyone by slinging baseless speculations about, Arthur, maybe you should go get out of those clothes before you catch cold. Ginny, come help me get lunch." Mr. Weasley got up to go, his wife having effectively cut off all public discussion, but Harry noticed that Lupin followed him out of the room. There was more going on here than they were letting on, he could tell.