Be All My Secrets Remembered

Interlude: Ice Will Suffice

1 November 1981

Malfoys didn't run. It simply wasn't seemly. And so he made his way from the Apparating point in the small copse of trees to the front gate of the manor as if merely returning from a stroll in the country. Which, in essence, he was. Benjy Fenwick and his fiancée lived in Kent after all, and he had always requested assignments that kept him out of London.

Stroll in the country, indeed. Four of them total and it had still taken two hours to finish the job. And, at a little past midnight, the queerest thing had happened. A bizarre surge of--something--had literally knocked all five Death Eaters flat. Fenwick had almost escaped when four hastily screamed curses hit him at once and blew him to bits. The remembrance made Lucius' nose wrinkle. Deaths, in his mind, ought to be clean. Avada Kedavra and so be it. Torture, of course, was quite another matter, but that hadn't been the objective. Fenwick wasn't nearly important enough for that.

Just a favour, the Dark Lord said, a reward for services rendered. You'll have yours too, Lucius. Just be patient. Patient, always patient. Virtue or not, he was owed a fairly substantial reparation. On Narcissa's behalf, if nothing else.

As ever, when the memory even hinted, it burned. He had been in the Ministry the morning of Karkaroff's closed trial, and one of the Dementors had barely needed to glance his way before the scene erupted within his mind, every sound, sight, and sensation as clear as it had been that night. Narcissa lying at the foot of the staircase, the young witch whose name he never discovered leaning over her, performing a flawless series of spells to staunch the bleeding. His hands, covered in blood. She hadn't told him. I wanted to be sure, Lucius. Three months.

He had to stop walking, close his eyes and forcibly thrust the image aside, drown the echo of the words. The Dark Lord had promised him retribution--not against Bellatrix, of course, as she was his favourite. She shows no qualms about supporting me, Lucius. Not like you. You're slippery, Lucius, you always were. And I shall deal with you accordingly. Usually, such thoughts provoked at least a small twinge in the Mark on his arm. Tonight, however, it was silent.

There was no point thinking back on those things, or the small nagging suspicion that Bellatrix had been under orders to quell any urge for 'slippery' behaviour on the Malfoys' part. Either of them. The Dark Lord rarely gave warnings, and those he did give were to be taken with the utmost seriousness.

He entered as quietly as he could--it was past two in the morning, after all, and Narcissa would have his hide if he awakened Draco--and leant against the door, closing his eyes. He felt terribly weary all of a sudden, as if all his energy had been drained. It was testament to what he believed to be his wife's missed calling as a spy that he did not notice her presence until he caught the unmistakable scent of roses. Something he would have remarked upon, had she not kissed him and diverted his attention entirely.

"You're late," she finally murmured, lips teasing at his ear. "I was worried."

"It took somewhat longer than expected, but we finished the job," was his eventual reply. The smile was evident in his voice. "You shouldn't have waited up."

"I had a bad feeling," she admitted somewhat ruefully as she slipped her arms around his waist. "Thankfully, it seems to have come to naught."

"I'm careful, love. You know that."

"Not careful enough sometimes," said Narcissa, a hint of reproof in her voice. "We shouldn't have got mixed up in this business in the first place. We should have stayed aloof."

"I am staying aloof, darling. Only raids outside of London, where nobody could possibly connect me with them. There's no solid proof, none at all. We've both made sure of that. And witnesses can always be discredited. Now," he pre-empted the argument he knew was about to erupt, "can't we talk about this in the morning?"

Narcissa nodded with obvious reluctance, checking to make sure the door was properly locked before they made their way up the stairs. He hadn't told her the full truth. She thought her sister had been acting of her own accord, and he had allowed her to think it. "You're not hurt, are you?" she asked suddenly.

"No," he hastened to assure her, "just tired. Inexplicably so, to be quite honest. The oddest thing happened...even I can't quite put my finger on it." As they reached the top of the staircase, he glanced back through the large window set above the front doors. Nothing out of the ordinary, so far as he could see. Just miles upon miles of empty land, as per usual. He didn't even know what he was looking for.

By the next morning, it was all over the newspapers. Lucius, predictably, went to the Ministry as if nothing at all had happened. Just three words murmured to his wife before departing revealed any hint of what he might have been feeling. You were right.

Chapter Twenty: All's Fair in Love and War

November 1977

Advanced Potions with Professor Agrippa had been heinously difficult during sixth year. His students discovered, much to their dismay, that seventh year made sixth year look like a holiday. He was also annoyingly difficult to dislike, and several students had put forth the theory that he enchanted every essay to induce a curious state of peace and acceptance in the reader, regardless of the mark given.

Agrippa had also given the impression that nothing on earth could possibly ruffle him. This held true until one morning in November.

Dorcas Meadowes, as far as she was concerned, was minding her own business, methodically dropping bits of Jobberknoll feather into her cauldron as part of her Memory Potion. After a quick glance at her notes and at the ingredients piled between her and Remus Lupin on the table, she leaned toward the adjacent table, where Anthony Travers was hard at work with another Ravenclaw, Marion Branwell.

"Travers, you don't have any powdered moonstone, do you?" she asked. "Ours seems to have vanished."

"Then maybe you ought to be more careful," he sneered, "filthy Mudbloods."

Dorcas blinked, too startled to say anything at first. Then, glancing about carefully to make sure nobody had heard, she hissed back, "I don't seem to recall having a choice in that matter, Travers. Whereas you have the choice to display basic manners."

"Indeed he does," remarked Professor Agrippa from where he stood, several feet away. For the first time, there was no humour in his face, only disturbingly cold disdain. "Mr Travers, you will apologise to Mr Lupin and Miss Meadowes this instant."

"And what if I don't?" demanded Travers, bravado apparently winning out over common sense. "I didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"Then I have no choice but to order you to leave my class. I will not tolerate this level of rudeness." He waited a moment but Travers did not move. "Didn't you hear me, Mr Travers? I told you to leave. Now. Or must I resort to force?"

Travers looked him directly in the eyes. Then, with a strange half-smile, he strode from the dungeon, his head held high. His partner had paled to such an extent that Professor Agrippa suggested she pay a visit to Madame Pomfrey. Shaking her head, Marion applied herself to the unfinished potion with renewed vigour.

The next hour was abnormally silent. Even James and Sirius stopped muttering about cornering Travers in the corridor after Remus shushed them with a glare. Passing through the doorway from the dungeon seemed almost like a spell lifting off the entire group.

"That bastard," Lily pronounced vehemently. "I almost wanted Agrippa to hex him."

"Oh, he'll get hexed. Mark my words. I'm thinking something on the order of a particularly nasty stomach flu," growled Sirius, before pausing and glancing back. "Where's Moony?"

"Wanted to speak to Agrippa about something," Dorcas informed him. "He'll see us in Transfiguration."

"Are you both alright?" asked Lily. "He didn't hex you when none of us were looking, did he?"

Dorcas shook her head. "I just expected better, I suppose. Remus and I are--were on decent terms with him last year. Or so we thought, apparently."

"Yeah," James agreed, "that seems more up Snivellus' alley. I always thought Travers was a reasonably decent chap. But I guess that goes to show, you think you know a person..."

"Will you be alright, Dorcas?" Lily had hold of her arm. "I mean, he wasn't even a Slytherin."

"Lil, I'll be fine. He's just one person, after all. And I've been taught duelling by a notorious prankster. I'm probably more Slytherin than he is, blood notwithstanding."

"So long as you're sure," Lily allowed, sounding entirely unsure, herself. "Thank goodness he isn't the other Prefect."

"He almost was," Dorcas admitted. "Good luck in my part that he isn't. Now, you've got enough to worry about, what with all those extra patrols Dumbledore's been assigning. Unless..." she glanced between Lily and James, both of whom looked very staunchly ahead, finally stepping back and pronouncing, "I won't be the one to say it."

"What, the dangers of allowing the Head Girl and Head Boy to romantically involve themselves with one another?" Sirius put in, grinning. "I'll say it. Why do I suspect there's more patrolling of one another's mouths than the corridors?"

Within seconds, both had their wands out, and pointed at Sirius.

"Peace, peace. Nobody heard me. Why you're both so insistent upon keeping this a secret, I have no idea."

"It would ruin our authority, Sirius," Lily protested.

"If you say so," he conceded with a shrug.

***

After an uncomfortable-but-enlightening discussion with Agrippa regarding the mysterious lycanthropy project, Remus slipped into the corridor. Any assistance you might offer would be invaluable, Mr Lupin. I realise this is a problematic topic, to say the least, but I can promise you full discretion. I only wish to help. He had promised to think about it, and he had to admit it was tempting. Agrippa was a genius; everyone knew that. If anyone could puzzle out the cause and nature of lycanthropy, and proceed to a cure, or at least a deterrent, it would be him.

He had intended to sneak into the kitchens and steal an apple or something, having missed breakfast, but as just as he was reaching for the lever to open one of the passages, the unmistakeable sound of duelling ricocheted from around the corner.

Cursing whatever remnants of prefectural responsibility were keeping him from eating, Remus followed the sounds and, upon discovering four boys hurling hexes at a single cowering shape, roared in tones he had only occasionally been able to manage as a Prefect attempting to control his mischievous friends, "What the hell is going on here?"

All four attackers jumped in unison, much to Remus' rather grim satisfaction. Two Gryffindors, a Hufflepuff, and a Ravenclaw. Which left very little doubt as to which House claimed their target.

"I asked you once and I'll ask you again. What is going on?" Remus repeated, glaring down at them. He recognised the two Gryffindors, both fourth-years, and it was evident from their quickly exchanged glances that they recognised him in return.

The bolder of the two straightened, shoving too-long blond hair out of his face huffily. "Knows a bit too much about the Dark Arts, this one does."

"And how would you know that, Williamson?" enquired Remus. "I don't see him throwing hexes at you."

Williamson backed up on instinct and his companion grabbed his arm, muttering something about Muggle Studies in five minutes. Remus let all four of them go, for the first time feeling the lack of his Prefect's Badge. After they had vanished down the corridor, he knelt in front of the still-huddled boy.

First things first. "Finite Incantatem," murmured Remus, but nothing seemed to happen outside of a small shudder. "Are you alright?" he asked softly. "They're gone. You needn't worry."

The boy raised his head, and Remus drew in a sharp breath. Grey eyes framed by long black lashes blinked up at him uncertainly, and at first, Remus was almost convinced that hunger was causing him to hallucinate the ghost of a person who was most assuredly not dead. But there was something unaccountably fragile in the set of his jaw, not born of confidence or even bravado, but barely held together by sheer force of will. And the shoulders, hunched protectively as if by shrinking, he might disappear. Sirius Black never hunched. And only an idiot would call him fragile. Which meant that this could only be one person...

"Regulus Black?" Remus was conscious of how surprised he sounded. "Weren't you at Durmstrang?"

The faintest of smiles flickered across the boy--Regulus'--face, and the resemblance to his brother was uncanny enough to make Remus shiver. "Not anymore, obviously." He shifted a little, lowering his eyes. "You're a friend of my brother's, aren't you?"

"I am," replied Remus.

"Why did you stop them? You have to remember what I did, at 'Cissa's wedding reception."

"We all do stupid things," he said with a shrug. "That's no reason to condone ganging up on someone, is it? Why did they do it?"

Regulus looked back up at him, his face unnervingly expressionless. "One of them...Jameson...the Death Eaters got his mother not long after term started. He said it was my cousin Bellatrix that did it. I guess he wanted to get back at someone, and I just happened to be there."

"Works both ways, then," Remus observed wryly. "Twice in one morning. I'm just lucky, I suppose."

"What?"

"Nothing. Just something that occurred to me." He stood up and held out his hand. "What did they get you with?"

"Nothing serious," answered Regulus, as he pulled himself to his feet with a grimace, avoiding the outstretched hand. "Jelly-legs, a few other things that didn't actually hit. I don't know what they planned to do, but they obviously weren't finished."

"Well, you be careful," Remus advised. "Or at least as careful as you can be. Everyone's a little tense these days."

"That's putting it kindly," the younger Black remarked.

Remus glanced down the corridor, conscious of how very awkward this all felt, making something resembling polite conversation with the catalyst for Sirius' banishment. "What's Durmstrang like?" he finally asked.

The question seemed to surprise Regulus as much as it had surprised Remus that he even asked it, and he swallowed before answering, "Cold."

Remus just looked at him, unsure of precisely how to respond to that.

Regulus didn't seem to notice, and continued without looking at Remus, "It was always cold. As if it came from the stones and not outside. I don't think I was ever warm there, not even in June."

Thankfully, Remus was spared the embarrassment of again being at a loss for words, as Sirius' voice rang out from the other end of the corridor. "Moony! There you are! I was looking..." he broke off, frowning as he caught sight of his brother. "Well, look who's here."

"Padfoot, don't." Remus laid one hand on Sirius' arm, keeping his voice low. "It's nothing. There was a small incident, nothing serious."

"An incident?" echoed Sirius ominously. "Mother's parlour may be the home turf for you, but this corridor certainly isn't, and I have nothing to lose by..."

"It isn't what you think, Padfoot," Remus all but snapped, his tone causing Sirius to turn back to him, visibly puzzled. "Your brother was in some trouble, but it's over now." Focusing on Regulus again, Remus said, "You may want to tell Snape and...who are your other Prefects in Slytherin?"

"Rosier," was the reply, barely audible. "Harrington and Greengrass in sixth year, and I don't remember the others."

"Well, I'm not sure what more they can do, outside of keeping a closer eye on the corridors and such. I'll suggest it to Potter and Evans, tell them what's going on."

Regulus looked up, first at Sirius and then at Remus. "Thank you...Lupin."

"More than you deserve, if you ask me," remarked his brother. "But Moony's a philanthropist."

Remus shot him a warning glare. "Four against one, Padfoot. This sort of thing shouldn't go unchecked."

Sirius considered for a second or two, before conceding, "No, I don't suppose it can. Things aren't quite as black-and-white as they once were, are they Reg?"

Without waiting for Regulus to answer, he strode off down the corridor, toward the Transfiguration classroom. After a last quick glance at Regulus, Remus hurried after his departing friend. By the time he caught up with Sirius, however, the other had already entered McGonagall's lecture.

As per usual, Remus slipped into the seat beside Peter, but not before leaning back to glance enquiringly at Sirius. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," replied Sirius with a shrug. "I was just a bit surprised to see you of all people so friendly with my brother."

"It wasn't exactly friendly," protested Remus. "There were four others ganging up on him."

"Which four?"

"Williamson and Donnelly, both fourth-years, so I assume the others were as well. He mentioned someone named Jameson, but I don't know who he was talking about." Remus frowned. "Why do you ask? I trust you aren't going to congratulate them on a job well done. That's uncalled-for."

"I had no such plan," Sirius retorted. Then, with barely a pause, he turned to address James. "Prongs, there's been some unpleasantness in the corridors. Moony's got the details; you may want to see about it."

Remus' brows shot upward, but he didn't have the chance to speak further. James, who had been half-involved in a discussion with Lily, just looked perplexed. Lily took the opportunity to interject, "James, I will not allow you to use disciplinary action to improve the odds for the Gryffindor Quidditch team!"

"But Lil, that's not the point," he protested. "He's going to be punished, one way or the other. We might as well use it to our advantage. I'm just making the best of a situation, and I'm sure McGonagall will agree when I ask her."

"I will agree when you ask me what, Mr Potter?"

All five of them--six, if one counted Dorcas, seated beside Lily--turned in unison at the sound of Professor McGonagall's voice.

"Well?" prompted the Transfiguration professor. "I'm waiting."

"Professor, I don't know if you heard about what happened this morning in the Potions dungeon..."

"Involving Mr Travers, yes," she interrupted coolly. "What of it?"

"I was thinking, a possible punishment could be suspending him from the match on Saturday. Lily and I apparently don't see eye-to-eye on this, but I think it seems logical. Don't you?"

McGonagall crossed her arms and regarded James speculatively. "I don't suppose your idea has anything to do with the fact that we play Ravenclaw on Saturday?"

James, to his credit, offered a weak smile. "It may have crossed my mind."

"And that we have a new Seeker, who might well be at a distinct advantage, should the other team lack one of its Beaters?"

"It would be a fitting punishment, if I may be so bold as to say, Professor," put in Sirius, wearing an expression of thoughtful innocence. "If Travers' actions cause Ravenclaw to lose the match on Saturday, it does seem likely that his house may see fit to treat him with the same derision he has shown to Meadowes and Lupin."

"An interesting argument, Mr Black. Miss Meadowes?"

Dorcas straightened in her chair, looking somewhat startled. "Yes, Professor?"

"I have to wonder at your opinion, Miss Meadowes, seeing as you are not only a member of Ravenclaw House, but you were one the targets of Mr Travers' comments this morning." McGonagall paused for a moment to let the words sink in. "Have you anything to say?"

"I..." Dorcas glanced between Lily, James, and Sirius, and then back to McGonagall. "Not really, Professor. I don't exactly follow Quidditch, but surely there's no need to punish our entire House for one idiot with bad manners...of course," she added wryly, "Travers really isn't particularly good, from what I hear, so I can't see his absence affecting the match."

"There you go! All sides satisfied!" James pronounced grandly. "I still think it's a good idea."

"You would, Mr Potter. I'll consider it." With that, she swept back up the aisle to the front of the classroom to begin the lesson.

James leaned forward. "See, Wormtail? Tell Hennessey not to worry."

"I'll try," Peter replied. "She's still nervous."

"I wouldn't have made her Seeker if I didn't think she could do it," James told him. "Besides, she's managed to charm Fenwick into giving her quite a few tips."

"She...what?" That idea didn't seem to appeal to Peter in the least. "She never mentioned this."

"Oh, don't be dim, Wormtail. It was my plan in the first place, and you can't possibly imagine she'd give him a second look. You're one of us, after all." He settled back in his chair, grinning widely. "Stop worrying so much."

Remus gave Peter a reassuring smile, but elected to say nothing.

***

The rest of the afternoon passed uneventfully enough. When Lily, James, and Dorcas left the Great Hall immediately after dinner, citing extra patrols, Remus did not notice. Nor did it occur to him to wonder when Peter made some slightly embarrassed remark about Laura and the Astronomy Tower. However, when he and Sirius returned to the Common Room to find it completely deserted, he turned back to his friend to request an explanation.

Before he could say anything, however, Sirius plunged forth.

"Look, Moony." He turned to face Remus, fingers fidgeting at the edges of his robe sleeves. "I really truly am sorry. For everything, for what happened, for what I did."

Remus could not answer at first. It really would be like Sirius to offer an apology when he was least expecting it and thereby unable to produce a creditable retort. "You're a bloody idiot.," he finally said.

"That I'll accept," replied Sirius rather sheepishly. "I saw those ingredients, and I just..." He raised one hand in a truncated gesture, only to let it fall uselessly, "Awful things, love potions. They disgust me."

"Did you honestly believe he could have done that, Padfoot?" Remus asked, well aware of how puzzled he sounded. "Snape may be greasy, unpleasant, and possibly the International Champion where holding grudges is concerned, but that's far out his league, even so."

"You'd be surprised. But that's no matter. I was wrong, I reacted badly..."

"That's the understatement of the year," observed Remus. "But quite honestly, Padfoot, the bit that baffles me is where I came into it. If you and Snape were arguing about love potions..." He trailed off, finally settling on, "There's a gap in the logic somewhere."

"Oh, he brought you up. Something about how all Gryffindors were cowards at heart, and you were the worst of them." Unaccountably, Sirius seemed to relax a little. "I told him to leave you out of it, that it wasn't any business of his, and..." He paused for a second. "Do you remember, last year, after Prongs got hit with that Bludger, when it was just you and me and Wormtail at the full moon?"

Remus nodded. "Yeah, what of it?"

"Apparently Snivelly saw something. I don't know what, but Wormtail mentioned it and none of us really thought it of any consequence at the time. One way or the other, Snivelly connected me with you and you with a few unexplained absences. Add to that his version of what happened at 'Cissa's wedding reception, and, in short, he accused me of playing the queen to..." he swallowed, before practically spitting, "'a mangy Mudblood cur', in his own charming words."

"Playing the..." Remus could feel his mouth working, but words didn't seem to be coming out.

Sirius held up his hands in a gesture of defeat. "I don't know what disturbs me more. That someone was watching us closely enough to even come to that conclusion, or that the someone in question was Snivelly."

"And that was why you sent him to the Whomping Willow? To prove...what, exactly?"

"Moony, did I at any point mention that there was logic involved?"

"No, you didn't." Remus found himself fighting the urge to laugh. "That may well be one of the most absurd things I've ever heard. And I do believe you are the greatest idiot alive."

"Snivelly seems a fairly close contender," suggested Sirius mildly. "What's next? Bacchanalian orgies in the Gryffindor Common Room? Apparently Snivelly's mind lives in the gutter, because I can't imagine where else he could have got that idea about the two of us, of all people."

"Well, there was the poetry..."

"True," Sirius conceded. "But that was a prank. And one pointing to Prongs, no less."

"Prongs who spent all his spare time either snogging Campbell or chasing Lily?" Remus pointed out. "That seems fantastically unlikely. And don't even mention Wormtail. He's got his Laura, after all, and I think the rest of the world has ceased to exist."

"Are you saying you think I'm a ponce?"

"Padfoot, if I may be so bold as to point out, you did kiss me."

"I was drunk! Prongs kissed Lily that same night, and didn't lose any limbs for it," protested Sirius. "And I don't seem to recall you complaining about it either."

"I never said you were a ponce. I merely wish to point out that you might give the impression of being one."

"If Snivelly saw that, I'd give him more credit. But I can't imagine he did." Sirius grinned. "And Wormtail would sooner tell McGonagall than tell him. Though I do wonder, Moony...?"

"Whatever it is, the answer is no," Remus retorted.

"Oh, so you don't want this Chocolate Frog," Sirius pulled the package out of his pocket with an insufferably wicked grin, and tossed it in the air. "Alright. I'll save it for someone who'll appreciate it."

"Give it here. If you're playing the queen to me, at least make it worth my while." Sirius tossed it over with a good-natured glare, just as the door swung open to admit a very annoyed-looking Kate Campbell. At the sight of them, her scowl grew deeper, if that were even possible.

"Ah, Campbell! A girl!" Sirius held out his hands to her. "I've got a question for you, as an impartial observer..."

"And I've got nothing to say to you, Black," she snapped. "You can tell that bastard ex-boyfriend of mine to shove off!"

Sirius just stared at her for several seconds, and Remus realised belatedly that he was doing precisely the same thing. "Umm..." Sirius began, glancing rather nervously at Remus before turning back to Kate, "...this actually has nothing to do with Prongs. Well, not directly anyway. I suppose he figures into it tangentially, but it's nothing...er...are you alright?"

"Am I alright, he asks?" she exploded. "You try being dumped, and, two weeks later, hearing that the boy you might have been interested in was killed by Death Eaters! And then, you come back to school to find out that your ex-boyfriend is dating a friend of yours and neither of them even had the courtesy to tell you about it!"

"Er...with all due respect, they're not...well, at least I don't think they are...Moony, help me here?" Sirius took several steps back as Kate advanced toward him. "Look, Campbell, I think you might be making a mistake."

"Oh, is that so? He's only fawning over her in public, which he never did with me! As far as he was concerned, if you lot were around, I didn't exist! But not her! Not Lily 'Utter Perfection' Evans!"

Remus winced, suddenly wishing he were very much elsewhere.

"Now," Sirius ventured, "I don't think that's altogether fair..."

"Oh, don't you?" Kate whirled on him, fury twisting her normally pleasant face. "I can't imagine you do, seeing as you were the reason we broke up!"

"What?" Sirius' mouth dropped open. "Where the hell did you get that idea?"

"Don't play the innocent with me, Black. You never liked me, and I know that."

Sirius once again turned to Remus, but Remus just threw out his hands in a gesture of futile confusion. "Campbell---Kate, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. I don't. If you want to turn me into the villain here, so be it. But I really had nothing to do with this."

"And what were you and Lily about last year, then?"

"Do you think we spent all our time plotting to...?" Sirius broke off, and Remus could catch the slightest edge of a smile. "Honestly, Campbell, we all had far better things to do."

That was possibly not the wisest thing to say. Even so, Remus was forced to raise one hand to his mouth to hide the fact that he was dangerously close to laughter.

"You bloody bastard!" she shrieked. "You're worse than him!"

"How am I worse than him? What did I do?" Sirius backed further away, shifting such that the couch was between him and Kate. "Look, I told you. I didn't tell Prongs anything."

"Kate..." Remus finally managed to calm himself enough to speak, "you're upset. This can't possibly be helping. How about this? We'll leave, and you'll have some time to calm down." He took a deep breath, waiting for the explosion to divert itself to his direction.

Instead, Kate threw herself into his arms, sobbing.

Sirius ran from the room, all but doubled over to keep from laughing. And Remus raised his eyes to the ceiling, wondering why on earth he was the nice one.

***

It was nearing midnight, and Lily had just finished patrolling outside the library and the Hufflepuff dormitory. On the way back to the Tower, however, she found herself waylaid by a series of very odd noises coming from near one of the passageways leading out into the courtyard.

First, a shuffling sound, the source of which she could not find. Just as she was about to ascribe it to tiredness and mild hallucination, there was a distinct yelp, followed by a hissed whisper. "Moony, I think you broke my toe!"

Lily rolled her eyes and stepped forward, just as the door to the courtyard opened. She waited several moments before following, and by the time she threw open the door, the three culprits were very much in evidence. James had a decidedly suspicious piece of cloth draped over one arm, and his broom in his other hand.

"Lily!" James grinned. "Just the person I was hoping to see."

"What sort of Head Boy are you, running about and breaking rules like this?" demanded Lily, hands on hips. "You know you're not supposed to leave the castle after dark."

"Oh Lil, what nobody knows won't hurt anyone. And you know we can take care of ourselves. Though now that I think about it..." A wicked grin spread across his face.

"What's this? I don't like that smile." Lily took several steps back.

"Have you been on a broom since first year flying lessons, Lil?"

"No," she answered shortly. "I don't like flying. I'm afraid of heights."

"She is not," Sirius interjected from his perch in the nearby window. "Eiffel Tower, Lil? Or even Notre Dame? Those are not insignificant heights."

"It's not the same. They stand still."

"Motorbike."

"A motorbike isn't a small piece of wood!" Lily argued.

"Come now, Lil. It's not frightening at all if you're with someone who knows what they're doing," James wheedled. "Don't you trust me?"

"No!" she retorted, conscious that she had just hit the wall and could go no further. And he was pulling her forward. Lily struggled, fear leaping into her throat. "No. I told you no. I don't do brooms. I don't."

"Oh, Lil, come on. It'll be fun, I promise." James tugged on her hand, his lips curling into what might have been a pout. She wasn't entirely sure. Well, if he's going to do that---what on earth was she thinking? No. She did not sit on brooms. Least of all with James 'Chaser-With-a-Death-Wish' Potter. "Please?"

"You'll kill us both," she informed him tartly. "I've seen how you fly, James Potter."

"I don't do that with passengers. Ask Padfoot or Moony. They've flown with me before."

"Yes, and I was regretting not having made my will beforehand," Remus interjected. "Don't trust him, Lily."

"James, don't. I told you. I don't fly."

But he had swung himself over the broom, dragging her with him. "Hold tight."

"James Potter, if you so much as--" The last word stretched into a shrill scream as the broom shot upward from the ground. Lily squeezed her eyes shut, tightening her grip around his waist. "I will kill you, Potter. I promise. I will kill you."

"No you won't," he retorted. "And don't close your eyes. That defeats the purpose."

The wind whistled past them, only partially shielded by James in front of her. The entire contraption tilted up at a sharp angle and Lily clung tighter, burying her face in his shoulder.

"Lil, I...can't...breathe..."

"Your fault," she muttered into his neck. "I told you I don't fly."

"Oh, do shut up, Lily Evans, and open your eyes. It's a gorgeous night. Perfect for flying."

They were going faster. And faster. Lily finally forced her eyes open, and drew in her breath, unbidden. Below them stretched the Forbidden Forest, spiky black branches reaching toward them. And in front... "Oh dear God, James! Look out!"

In one of his trademark manoeuvres, just as the rock face loomed before them, he tilted the broom vertical to the sky, shooting them directly upward, the stars hovering dizzily overhead. And...were they upside down? Only for a second or so, but Lily could literally feel her stomach drop back into place when James turned them upright.

She loosened her grip a little, suddenly unwilling to even consider closing her eyes. Below them was the lake, literally filled with stars. She gasped. "Oh James."

"Told you so," was the smug reply, earning him a swat across the shoulder as she clung desperately with her other arm. "You can't see that from any other angle. I guarantee it."

Ahead of them, the castle glittered upon its cliff, the lights glowing starbright themselves from the windows. With a barely perceptible decrease in speed, James plunged downward, skirting the Astronomy Tower, and coming to a perfectly balanced stop in the middle of the courtyard. Sirius and Remus had vanished, to where Lily did not know, nor did she care.

"Lil, you can let go now," he informed her, grinning widely. She was barely able to stand upright, chose instead to cling to his shoulder for support. "So?"

"That was mean."

James vaulted off the broom with what appeared to be annoyingly no adverse effects. "And what else?"

Lily was aware that she was pouting, but equally aware that she did not much care. "And yes, it was pretty, but even so..."

"Even so?" he prompted, his hands sliding down to her waist. "You were saying?"

"That isn't fair," she protested weakly. "Oh very well, it was beautiful. And no, I couldn't have seen that particular view from anywhere else. But that's all I'm saying. You scared me half to death."

"Oh Lil," he laughed, leaning his forehead against hers. "And here I thought you weren't afraid of anything."

"You thought wrong." She kept her eyes lowered, unable to quite look at him. "I don't know where you got that idea."

"Lil?" He tilted her chin up so their eyes met. "What's wrong?"

"Just..." she broke off, feeling the heat rise from her neck to her face, "...it was beautiful. Everything was so quiet. It was as though...as though nothing else existed, and I didn't want to come back."

"Is that so bad?"

"Yes," she finally said. Turning her head, she caught sight of the lake through one of the courtyard windows. He was right. You couldn't see the stars from this angle. "Because I have to come back, because this is the real world and that..." she swallowed, "...it was just flying. I'm being stupid."

"No, you aren't," he refuted softly. "If that wasn't how it felt, do you honestly think I'd fly as much as I do?" Lily shook her head. James leant forward until their foreheads touched once more. "But if you want the full truth, Lil..."

Her eyes flew open, meeting his and suddenly uncertain.

"It's nothing bad, I promise. At least I don't think it's bad..." It was his turn for uncertainty, apparently, as he stared fixedly at the ground. "Lil, you've got nothing to be afraid of. Not here. You're in the safest place imaginable."

"I know, I know. I never said it made sense," Lily admitted. "But thank you." He still did not let her go, and it struck her that she didn't particularly want him to. "James...?" she ventured. He glanced up, startled, and she moved without thinking, pressing her lips to his.

James stiffened for barely a second before kissing her back. Lily twined her arms around his neck, forced to stand on tiptoe to reach that high.

When she finally pulled back, she murmured, "You're too tall, you know that?"

"Is that a complaint?" He sounded as breathless as she did, lips curving upward in a shy smile. "I hope that wasn't a request to cut my legs off at the ankles or something."

"Oh, don't you even..." She raised her hand to swat at his shoulder, but he kissed her once more, eradicating all thoughts of argument, or really anything else at all. Finally, Lily managed pull far enough away to say, "We really should go inside."

"Do we have to?" he asked, the wistfulness in his tone causing her stomach to flip-flop just a little. "Inside means patrolling, studying, responsibility..."

"And sleeping," she pointed out. "It is past midnight, and we've got class in the morning..."

"Bugger class," he muttered, leaning forward to kiss her again.

"James!" Lily started laughing, muffling the sound against his shoulder. "We're supposed to be setting an example, you dolt. And I know you care, however much you try to hide it beneath that Quidditch-obsessed prankster image you seem so fond of keeping up."

Unexpectedly, James pulled away, turning to face the lake. Lily, frowning, wrapped her arms around herself against the sudden chill.

"James, is something wrong? What did I say?"

"Lil," he sighed, "why are you here?"

"I don't understand."

"Why are you with me? I'm not saying you don't seem to be enjoying it, because it's obvious to me that you do. But what do you want?"

Lily stepped forward. "I don't know what you're trying to ask me, James."

"I just have the impression--and correct me if I'm wrong--that you aren't entirely serious about this." Glancing at her, he added, "About you and me."

"I..." She bit her lip, at a loss. "James, I don't know. Isn't that a reasonable answer?"

"Not especially, given what's been going on. How are you supposed to find out if you're not willing to give me a chance?"

Lily sank onto the window ledge. "James, it isn't that. It truly isn't."

"Is it Kate?" She glanced up at him, startled, and he shook his head with a sigh. "I should have guessed. You've got nothing to blame yourself for. If there's any guilt, it's mine. I probably should have told her everything straight off, but I had no idea if you would even give me the time of day, so I didn't."

"Remus told me he saw her a few days ago, that she was very upset. She's not speaking to me anymore, even regarding Prefect duties. Poor Becky needs to be the go-between." Lily swallowed. "I've truly gone and burnt my bridges, haven't I?"

"What makes you say that?" She couldn't answer, and after a few seconds, he added, "I'm not angry with you, Lil. Truly, I'm not. I'm just tired of sneaking around like a criminal to be with the girl I--" He cut himself off. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Don't say that," Lily protested. "You're right. There's only one way for me to puzzle out what I want, and analysing to death isn't it."

"Please tell me you didn't analyse," James turned to face her, his smile all the sweeter for being unsure. "It doesn't get you anywhere, I promise. Just makes things more complicated."

"And I've got enough complexity in my life," she concluded, leaning forward to kiss him again. "Might as well have something that's precisely as it appears."

"Which leads me to my next question," he said when they pulled apart. "When do my parents get to meet you? They'd hoped to at King's Cross, but Mum got called to St Mungo's urgently and Dad was swamped with casework."

"Have you a preference?" she asked, a trifle nervously. "Christmas holidays, maybe?"

"That was my thought. My grandmother's having a big Christmas dinner at some point--I'm not sure of the date--and I know Padfoot's invited his cousin Andromeda and her family, and possibly Meadowes as well, but he's not told me about that yet. Moony and Wormtail are invited, but they're still checking with their parents. And I thought, maybe, if you wanted to come...you and your family, that is..." He averted his eyes. "Might be fun."

"James, I'd love to." Lily smiled. "It sounds wonderful."

He broke into a relieved smile. "Brilliant! I'll send Mum an owl tomorrow and let you know when it is."

"Now that that's decided," Lily slipped off the ledge, "may we go inside? As it stands, I suspect we'll get a scolding from the Fat Lady, and I for one am not in the mood for a lecture about how boyfriends aren't an excuse to wake her up at indecent hours of the night."

"Do you realise what you just called me?" James looked slightly dazed.

Halfway to the door, Lily glanced back over her shoulder with a smile. "I thought we were calling things by their proper names from now on? I trust you don't object."

"I'd be the biggest prat in the country if I did." Picking up the broom, he followed her almost to the door, before glancing back at the sound of stifled laughter. After making sure Lily was well out of earshot, he rolled his eyes. "How long were you two there?"

"Long enough to hear the important bits and miss the gratuitous snogging," Sirius retorted, throwing off the Invisibility Cloak to reveal both he Remus grinning from ear to ear. "Now go, before she decides that you are, in fact, the biggest prat in the country. We're taking a detour to the kitchens, and we'll bring the cloak back in a bit."

Without any need for further reassurance, James bounded after Lily, leaving his two friends to their mischief.