Harry Potter and the Slytherin Connection

Chapter 9

Acceptance

By the next weekend, Harry knew he had to go back to Hogwarts. He couldn´t figure out any other way of righting what he had made wrong (and he did consider it was his fault) without the school´s resources or without Ron and Hermione´s help.

Harry stood against a wall in front of a store in Hogsmeade watching Ron and Hermione move from store to store, just waiting for the right minute to approach them. He also kept one eye out for a large black dog.

They were being marked. He could see Moody down the block watching them and Remus was very closely going into every story they did. Harry didn´t know what to think. Did these people care about him? Or were they only concerned that the one who had to die to save their world was on the run?

Harry dismissed that last question and strode toward Ron and Hermione. When he fell into step beside Hermione, she barely gave him a glance.

"Do you mind," she said indignantly. "We´re having a private conversation."

"Good," said Harry. "Say my name, Hermione and I´ll see that you´re expelled. What did you find out?"

"Hey, Jack. How are you doing?" said Ron.

"Jack?"

"Keep walking," said Harry.

"There´s too much to tell you," said Ron.

"OK, that´s all right. I´m coming back to Hogwarts. I should be back tomorrow. I´ll be talking to Dumbledore today. If he let´s me back in we can talk about it tomorrow."

Hermione was staring at Harry´s profile as if he was a complete stranger.

"Keep looking. I need all the information I can get."

"We will," said Ron. "Remus is coming," he said under his breath.

"See you tomorrow," said Harry and he strolled away.

Harry stared at the Gargoyle. He wasn´t sure what he was going to say to Dumbledore, nor did he know if he could even get in to see him. Should he cheat?

"Can I help you?"

Harry cringed. He would have to think fast now.

"I thought I knew every student in this school," said Dumbledore.

"My name is Taylor. Jack Taylor," said Harry. He wasn´t willing to talk freely out in the corridor.

"Come in, Mr. Taylor. Come in," said Dumbledore as he ushered Harry into the office and up the moving staircase to his office. "Sit down," Dumbledore said as he settled behind his desk.

Harry couldn´t sit. He grasped the back of the chair and noticed that Fawkes had noticed him. He tried to ignore the phoenix.

"So what can I do for you, Mr. Taylor?"

"Professor, I´d like to come back to school," said Harry?

Dumbledore looked up at him and finally caught Harry´s gaze. Dumbledore gave him one of his probing looks. "Do I know you?"

Harry didn´t know whether to laugh or cry. "You do, sir."

Fawkes took that moment to leave his perch and he landed on the back of the chair by Harry. He looked up at Harry, then laid his head on Harry´s chest.

Harry looked up again at Dumbledore and couldn´t help the tear that gathered in his eye.

Dumbledore stood up, staring at his bird, his head on Harry´s chest and the watery green eyes that stared at him.

Harry´s hand went around Fawkes as Dumbledore rounded his desk and walked towards him. Fawkes made a wonderful sound.

"Harry?"

"It´s me, Professor," choked Harry.

The phoenix was now crying into Harry chest. Tears were streaming down Harry´s face.

"What have you done to yourself, Harry?" said Dumbledore, moving closer.

Fawkes´ tears were starting to hurt as they fell on his chest. Harry couldn´t push the bird away.

Harry´s arms wrapped around the bird as he hit his knees. "Make him stop, Professor," cried Harry. "I know it´s my fault. I know it."

Fawkes dug his claws into Harry´s stomach, crying into his chest.

"Harry, it´s not your fault," said Dumbledore.

Harry was breathing hard. Helpless tears were running down his face in response to Fawkes´ tears. "It is!" he shouted.

"It´s not," said Dumbledore.

Dumbledore was leaning over him. Harry was on the floor, the bird on his chest, still crying, still clutching at his stomach.

"Harry, let go of your guilt and Fawkes will let go of you."

"I am guilty," breathed Harry. "It´s all my fault."

It was like a floodgate had opened on Harry´s emotions. The moment Fawkes had attacked him, Harry had seen it all. From the moment he had saved Peter´s life, everything was Harry´s fault. Why couldn´t he have just died when he one years old? Then he could be with his parents instead of living this nightmare.

"And what will you do?" said Dumbledore.

"I´ll die," said Harry. "I´m ready to die." Harry was still breathing hard. He didn´t recognize his own voice. "I´ll die for you, but I won´t kill for him."

"Harry, you don´t know what you are saying."

"I do," said Harry.

"You aren´t ready," said Dumbledore.

Harry sighed. "You keep telling me that."

"Harry, are you in a great rush to face your destiny?"

"Not particularly."

"Then don´t," said Dumbledore. "You have plenty of time. Don´t rush fate. It will get here when it gets here."

"That doesn´t make me feel any better," said Harry. "Everything is still my fault."

"Haven´t you been paying attention to Fawkes?"

Harry had won the emotional struggle with the bird but Fawkes was still clutching Harry and crying into his chest. "He´s a little hard to ignore" said Harry

"His tears didn´t work on you," said Dumbledore. "You still feel guilty. You are too strong."

Harry stared at him. "Explain."

"Harry-"

"Oh, never mind," said Harry with frustration as he got up. He cradled Fawkes who was still crying in his arms and passed him to Dumbledore. "So may I come back to school?"

"Of course," said Dumbledore. "Did you think I wouldn´t let you come back?"

"I´ve learned not to take anything for granted, but thank you," said Harry, feeling strange again. "I will get my stuff and return."

"And you have to see Voldemort again," said Dumbledore.

"Yes," said Harry. "I have to make sure the contract is still in order."

"Harry?"

Harry turned from the door.

"Lose the disguise before you come to Hall for the feast."

Harry nodded absently and looked at the ground. The nightmare, which was his life flashed through his head and he found himself staring into the fire in Voldemort´s compound.

He looked up. Lucius Malfoy stared back at him. "I have to see-"

A ham like fist hit him in the ribs again and Harry felt the crack.

"An intruder," said someone.

"They found us," said someone else.

"It´s me," said Harry, forgetting that he didn´t look or sound like Harry Potter. "It´s Harry-"

Lucius´ fist hit him in the face and a gag instantly silenced him.

Harry looked around. Voldemort again was no where to be seen. Great.

"A spy," said one of the Death Eaters.

Speculation was being thrown about as to his worth as a spy and whether they should alert the "Master" to this new development, when Voldemort´s voice rose from his tent.

Harry couldn´t look up. He was doubled over. Hamfist had broken more than one rib this time. Harry felt the blood dripping down his face. Lucius had a nasty right jab too, he guessed.

Harry was still on his feet because two men (Crabbe and Goyle more than likely) were still holding him up.

"My Lord," Harry heard Malfoy say several meters away. "We discovered a spy. They have found us."

"What are you talking about, Lucius? There is no way they could find us," said Voldemort.

"But a boy wandered into the camp," said Lucius.

"WHAT?" shouted Voldemort. "Where is he?"

This is going to be another nightmare, thought Harry as he was dragged over.

He lifted his head and his gaze met those red eyes.

"You imbeciles," said Voldemort. "Didn´t he tell you who he was?"

"Master," said Lucius. "He tried to tell us he was Harry Potter."

"It is Harry, you idiot!"

Malfoy grabbed Harry´s face and pulled it up. "But-"
"Lucius, you fool. Did you think that he could hide from the entire wizarding world - from ME - without his disguise being brilliant?"

"I suppose not, my lord," said Lucius, his eyes still searching Harry´s face.

"Look at his eyes," said Voldemort. "You went to school with Lily Evans."

Lucius let go of Harry´s face and Crabbe and Goyle dropped him. Harry hit the ground, but was more interested in what Lucius was saying.

"I only knew her because Severus did."

"Indeed," said Voldemort. He raised his wand and Harry´s gag fell off him. "Are you all right, Harry?"

Harry stared at the ground. One word from him and Harry knew Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle would be in a lot of trouble.

"Yeah," muttered Harry, clutching in ribs.

Lucius helped him to his feet.

"I came to talk to you, Voldemort. Not to get beat up by your Death Eaters, again."

"So you are going back," said Voldemort.

"Yes."

Voldemort apparently didn´t feel the need for privacy. "You´re going to try and find another way?" said Voldemort.

"Yes," said Harry.

"Very well."

"Our contract-" said Harry.

"Ah, yes," said Voldemort. "Have no fear, Harry. I will still honor our contract as long as you do."

"Agreed," said Harry.

Harry apparated to the hospital wing and was treated. Mrs. Pomfrey treated him like a stranger. Not that she ever mis-treated him as Harry Potter. But as Jack Taylor, Harry felt like he was being treated like his injuries weren´t his fault. As if he were a normal boy.

He walked out of the Hospital Wing, his ribs repaired although still sore and the cut over his eye healed but still bruised. Several people glanced at him, but they seemed more interested in his robe than in him, himself. Considering it wasn´t a school robe and the condition of it, Harry could understand.

A tall body blocked his path and demanded, "Why aren´t you in uniform?"

It was Snape. "I just got back, Professor," said Harry and he tried to go around him. "I need to get changed."

Snape grabbed the back of his collar. "Don´t dismiss me, boy," said Snape. "Another trouble maker. No doubt a Gryffindor brat."

A typical remark coming from Snape. This time, Harry looked up at him. "Yes, sir," said Harry.

Snape grabbed him under the chin to stare at him. Harry was starting to hate that.

"Harry?" said Snape, his eyes moving over Harry´s face. They stopped at his eyes, which Snape stared into. "Incredible," said Snape.

"How did you know it was me?" said Harry.

"Lily´s eyes," said Snape very softly. Then he let go of Harry and strode away, calling over his shoulder, "Go and get changed, Potter."

So Lucius wasn´t lying. Snape knew Harry´s mother. Harry continued to walk toward the tower. Snape must not have liked her either, judging by the way Snape treated Harry.

Harry stopped in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady and but the password had been changed.

"Just let me in," said Harry. "It´s me. It´s Harry Potter."

"I don´t care who you say you are," said the Fat Lady, "I don´t know you and you don´t have the password."

"Is there a problem?"

Harry glanced up and saw Fred and George Weasley approaching. "Hi Fred, George," said Harry. "She won´t open up."

"Well, obvious because you don´t belong in Gryffindor Tower," said George. "Now move along."

"Oh, for crying out loud." Harry looked up at both of them. "It´s me. It´s Harry. Remember Harry Potter? You rescued me out of my window in your father´s flying car which me and Ron wrecked. Remember the Triwizard Tournament, 1000 galleons worth of canary creams. You get it yet?"

"Blimey, Harry," said Fred. "It is you."

Since Harry could assume they never told anyone where they had gotten the money from, Harry could tell they were satisfied.

Not only satisfied. They looked impressed as they studied him.

"Ron said your disguise was brilliant, Harry," said George, "But this is astounding."

"Thanks," said Harry. "Can we go in now?"

Fred laughed. "Flubberworm," he said.

"The black eye is a bit much though, Harry," said George.

Harry didn´t comment as the portrait swung open.

Fred grabbed Harry´s arm and dragged him inside the common room.

"Look what we found outside," announced George as Fred presented him to the room.

Harry searched the room. Ron wasn´t there and Hermione stood up from a chair, staring at him.

"So it was you?" she said as she slowly moved toward him.

"Yes, Hermione, it´s me," said Harry.

She threw her arms around him and started crying. "Oh, Harry."

The rest of the occupants of the room converged on him, all filled with awe and questions. The commotion must have gotten Ron´s attention. His voice came from the balcony.

"Harry?"

Harry looked up at him, and Ron raced down the stairs and pulled him away from Hermione to give him a quick hug. Then he pulled him away from the crowd. "Leave him alone!" shouted Ron. "He´s been through enough."

Harry was soon seated in a chair by the fire filling Ron and Hermione in on everything else that had happened since Hogsmeade. They could swallow Malfoy attacking him but...

"Fawkes attacked you?" said Hermione.

"I was as surprised as you are," said Harry. "And he wouldn´t stop crying on me."

"And it hurt?" said Ron looking incredulous.

"Yes."

"What did Dumbledore say?" asked Hermione.

"He told me to let go of my guilt and Fawkes would stop."

"But what does that mean?" said Ron.

"Well this whole mess is my fault," said Harry.

"Oh, Harry. How can you think that?" said Hermione.

Harry stared at her. "How can I not?"

"Even if you hadn´t saved Peter," said Hermione, "You-Know-Who would have just found another way back to power."

"But I did save him," insisted Harry. "And that is the connection which both Voldemort and Dumbledore are using against each other."

Hermione looked back and forth between them. "What am I missing?"

Harry ran a hand through his hair and looked at Ron. He nodded and Ron delicately told Hermione the whole of it.

Hermione stood up abruptly, staring down at Harry as if he were an alien. "Well that just won´t do," cried Hermione. "That´s why you wanted me to look up all that stuff?"

"Yes," said Harry. "To find another way."

"Well that´s what we´ll do then," declared Hermione.

They went down to dinner listening to Hermione muttering about how she wasn´t about to allow Harry to die, especially since that woman (meaning Trelawney) predicted it. Harry got only a few curious glances because of the company he was with, but when he got to a seat he noticed Dumbledore looking at him. Then he remembered that he was still in disguise.

"´ere now," said Hagrid, who had seen who Dumbledore was looking at. "Tha´s the boy who asked me when the next Hogsmeade weekend was."

"Hi, Hagrid," said Harry.

"Mr. Potter, I thought-"

"I didn´t have time, Professor," said Harry quickly. "I´m sorry. It´s going to take a little time."

Hagrid looked from Dumbledore to Harry. "Harry?"

"It´s me, Hadgrid," said Harry.

Harry saw Moody stand up and felt as that magical eye of his moved over Harry´s face.

"Bloody, genius," muttered Moody.

Harry sat down self-consciously.

"Aw, let him have a spot of fun, Professor," said Fred. "Harry´s due some of that."

Dumbledore glanced around the room. Everyone was murmuring and looking at Harry. "Quite so," said Dumbledore. "And now that the news is out, let the feast begin."

As the food appeared on the table, the smell hit Harry and he turned away from the table. He clutched his stomach as it contracted. He leaned his forehead on the palm of his other hand, feeling dizzy all of the sudden.

"What is it, Harry?" said Ron.

"Nothing," said Harry and was glad as several people came over and started asking him questions about his disguise. Harry appreciated every distraction he got, as people came and went. As long as he could keep from looking at the food, he was all right.

He was talking to Cho Chang who stood over Hermione when Hermione noticed Harry´s empty plate.

"Harry, you really should eat."

"Move along, Miss Chang," said Snape as he moved behind Harry. "She´s right, Potter. We can´t have famous Harry Potter starving to death."

Harry looked up him hesitantly. "I-I can´t."

Snape held out a goblet. "Drink it," said Snape forcefully.

Harry choked on his first sip and started coughing.

"Blimey, are you trying to poison him again, Professor?" said Ron angrily.

"I didn´t poison him the last time, Mr. Weasley, he poisoned himself," said Snape. "And why don´t you shut up and mind your own business." Snape looked at Harry. "Drink it, Potter. It will help."

Harry managed to finish the foul concoction and Snape waited and watched as if to make sure he did finish it. Harry handed him back the goblet.

"Now eat!" said Snape.

Harry looked at the food and his stomach didn´t retch. He managed to eat a fair amount before he heard a loud familiar voice.

"Where is he?"

"Sirius-" Dumbledore said.

"Where - is - he?"

"He looks mad, Harry," said Ron softly.

Harry was afraid to look.

Then he felt the grip at the back of his neck. He was pulled to his feet and away from the table.

"Sirius," said Dumbledore, as Sirius grabbed Harry´s arm and started pulling him out of the Great Hall.

"No, Albus," said Sirius. "It has to be said."

Harry didn´t like the sound of that. He still hadn´t looked at his godfather yet, nor had Sirius looked at Harry. Sirius didn´t stop until they were in the room Sirius was using, then he turned Harry around to face him.

When Harry looked up at Sirius, Sirius´ expression went from surprised to shocked to appalled. Then he yanked Harry into his arms. Sirius was hugging him so hard, Harry thought his back was going to break.

"Sirius-"

Sirius held him away by the shoulders. "Do you know how worried I´ve been, Harry?"

"Sirius, I-"

"You should have come to me," said Sirius.

Harry´s face fell. That was the same thing Voldemort had said.

Sirius shook him until Harry looked up. "Don´t you understand, Harry? Can´t you see?" pleaded Sirius. "Voldemort is trying to take you away from us. Away from me."

Sirius´ voice had broken and he turned away from Harry.

When he turned back, he face was determined. "But I won´t let him, Harry. I swear it. I can´t let him." He grabbed Harry by the shoulders again and stared hard into his face. "I love you, Harry."

Harry stared at him. He had never heard that in his life.

"I´ve loved you since the first time James put you in my arms and you grabbed my finger, looking up at me with Lily´s eyes."

Harry felt the burning in his eyes. Harry realized that when Sirius had found out that Scabbers was Peter Pettigrew, he had broken out of Azkaban (something no one has ever done) and avoided the Dementors, and came to the school to protect Harry. Then he came out of hiding again when he thought Harry was in trouble. Then when he knew it wasn´t safe, he came and took Harry away from the Dursleys.

Sirius had been protecting him, just like his father would have.

Sirius moved away from him and came back, holding out two pieces of parchment. Harry was almost afraid to look at them.

The first one was the letter Harry had sent to Voldemort after he had been grounded. The second one was from Voldemort.