I'm Not in Love

By the time Lily got back to Gryffindor tower, the Rejuvenating potion had worn off, and she almost didn't make it through the portrait hole. She was about to just collapse and fall asleep against the ledge when someone pulled her up.

"Thanks," she mumbled, completely incoherently, to whoever it was that helped her up. She made her slow, sleep-deprived way over to Eli and Jasmine, who were working.

"Hey. I'm..." she yawned hugely. "I'm sorry, but I'm just too tired to work tonight. I'll see you in the morning, all right?"

"Oh... OK then. See you." If Lily hadn't been quite so dead on her feet, she would have noticed the concerned glances of her friends. As it was, she thought she heard a dull murmur as everyone asked each other What's wrong with her? Why does she look like Death warmed up? Is she taking the mickey? and I don't know, but what's the answer to question eleven?

She also thought she heard Eli say, 'It's fine, she's tired, that's all. Just leave her alone.'

Once she reached her uncomfortably brightly-lit dormitory, she dragged herself into bed, just managing to kick her shoes off, and closed the four poster curtains.

"Nox"

~*~

In the morning, Lily did not wake up bright and early.

"Oh, I don't want to get out of bed!" she muttered. "But that is definitely the last time I sleep in jeans."

She crawled out of bed, grateful for the rug, which postponed the shock of a cold stone floor. Often, it wholly prevented the sudden jolt of frigid stone on what was previously a warm foot. But Lily felt awful, and really needed a shower to wake herself up. So she forced herself across the floor, finally deciding to hop on her colder foot.

After having a hot shower, she felt almost human again. She got dressed, and headed down the stairs. She expected some people to be there. After all, not everyone ate breakfast, even though they should, and they paid the price later.

But there was no one to be seen.

Lily looked at her watch. 12:28. Oh my G-...! Lily yelped in horror. She wasn't just late for breakfast. She was late for History of Magic, Charms and lunch!

She raced down to the Great Hall, remembering, despite her rush, the vanishing step on the third flight of stairs. Not for the first time, she cursed the founders for making the school so twisted and winding, with so many fake doors and walls.

She stopped just outside the door, fixed her hair as she caught her breath, and walked over to where Jazz and Eli were sitting.

"Why did you let me sleep? I've missed History of Magic and Charms!"

"Eat something Lily," said Jasmine, pushing a ham sandwich towards her friend. Lily started to tear it up, popping small chunks into her mouth nervously.

"Don't worry, Lily. You worry too much as it is. Do you want to end up with another fever? Madam Pomfrey said you should relax. Do you really think Binns noticed you weren't there? He just marks everyone present anyway, and ignores us, unless you disrupt his class. And you hardly disrupt his class by not being there, do you?"

"But it was my turn to take notes, and Flitwick-"

"You've been Flitwick's favourite student for some time now, Lily. In case you haven't noticed, you are a Charms genius. When he saw you weren't there, he just told us to make sure you practiced Cheering Charms, and we're starting Summoning Charms next week. He didn't even take points off."

"Yes, Evans, why are you so good at Charms?"

Lily answered without thinking. "Ollivander said that my wand was particularly well suited to Charms magic, and I guess with the wand choosing the witch, I must have a knack for it or-" Lily stopped and looked up. Directly opposite her was a familiar cocky grin, attached to a familiar face, which was looking at her with a familiar triumphant expression.

"Oh no. Why did you have to sit with him? Are you still going on with your delusions?"

"Oh, c'mon Evans, we were almost having a civil conversation!"

"Hah! Civil conversation, with you? I suppose a hag will be announced as Miss Ministry Blonde next!"

"Well, you are making it hard," Potter replied, a pained look on his face.

"Oh, cut him some slack, Evans! He's trying so hard!"

"Keep away from me, Black."

"Wormtail, did you hear that? Not only is she rejecting Prongsy, but me too!"

"I can't believe it."

"Eli, Jazz! How could you do this to me?"

Instead of apologising profusely for being such a bad friend, Eli surveyed the people sitting opposite her.

"Where's Remus?"

To Jasmine, the most perceptive of her friends, there seemed to be a moment of hesitation before Black waved his hand dismissively and said that their friend was sick.

"But wasn't he sick just a few weeks ago?" she inquired, puzzled.

"Yeah, but Remus has always been a bit poorly. He had a run in with something nasty when he was young and never quite recovered. As a result, he has rather a lot of dog days."

"Great," put in Lily, already impatient with her current company. "Well, give my condolences to Lupin, but I'm going to go and get my Potions things. Goodbye."

"Excellent! I'll go with you!" cried James, jumping up.

"Leave me alone, Potter."

"What? I'm just going to get my Potions stuff, same as you!"

"Fine. Just don't talk to me."

Lily found it hard to concentrate, going up the stairs and through the corridors. She was still feeling tired, and was attempting to pretend that Potter wasn't there. So it was hardly a surprise that she tripped. Potter caught her and pulled her upright again.

"Evans, Evans. If God had meant for us to fly, wings he would have given us."

"You sound like Yoda,"

"Whoda?"

"Never mind. But you fly on broomsticks, don't you? Isn't that blasphemy?"

"Quidditch? Quidditch is a religion unto itself."

"Right."

"Quidditch aside, are you alright, Evans?"

"What are you talking about? I was just a fall. I'm not even bruised."

"I meant you walking around yesterday like you'd been up all night." Potter looked at her, and Lily had the strangest feeling that he knew what had happened.

"I- I had a nightmare."

"Hmm, yes, I believe I'm familiar with that nightmare."

"What?"

"The nightmare that kept you up all night." Potter grinned at her. "You saw me in a position of considerable danger and were frozen to the spot, yes?"

Lily scowled at him. Then she strode ahead, treating the tall, grinning, black headed moron behind her to a frosty silence. This was, of course, to hide the fact that he had come far too close to the truth.

When Lily got to her dormitory, she stayed up there for as long as she could, in the hope that Potter would be gone by the time she went downstairs. As a consequence, she was late for Potions too.

"Professor, sorry I'm late," she gasped, having run from Gryffindor Tower all the way down to the dungeons.

Professor Slughorn turned around and squinted at her, amidst all the bustle of people getting ingredients for the potion written on the board. Slughorn's face cleared.

"Ah, Miss Evans! Well, we've all partnered up to brew a blood restoration potion. I think that young man over there is still free."

Lily turned. The 'young man' turned too, and grinned evilly.

"Can you believe, he still doesn't remember my name!"

"Shut up. Let's just get this over with."

"But I want to enjoy this. The glorious Lily Evans, apple of my eye and single greatest desire of my heart, has deigned to brew a potion with her ardent admirer, James Potter! Is it not wonderful?"

"No. Shut up."

So it went, all of the double Potions period, with Potter rattling on about topics that could have been chosen and calculated specifically to irritate Lily, and Lily gritting her teeth and trying to concentrate, her short temper slowly fraying.

Finally the period ended, and Lily, after throwing her things willy-nilly into her bag, stormed out through the numerous coloured clouds of gas being emitted by various cauldrons.

Watching her retreating back, stiff with repressed frustration, James heard Sirius mutter "Wow, she looks... irritated."

Eli and Jasmine came up behind them.

"That, my lads, is the back of a woman in love," announced Eli with an air of satisfaction.

"Are you sure? Maybe she's right," said James quietly, staring after Lily as she stomped off.

"You're going to trust Lily on this? Trust me, that girl wouldn't know a fluttering heart from a kidney stone. But... Maybe we should lay off a bit. Lily has a tendency to do or not do things, just to be contrary."

James grinned at Eli.

"Yeah, well... We have Quidditch practise, Padfoot. Come on! Bye, Lily's friends!"

After a moment, Eli muttered to Jasmine, "Shouldn't they know our names by now?"