I'm Not in Love

Lily woke up because she was cold. And hungry for that matter.

No wonder, she thought, looking her watch. It's nine thirty. Past curfew. I must have been really tired.

She got up and stretched. She was really stiff. Ah well, what you expect from sleeping on the ground for several hours?

After trying the boat entrance, and finding, that, as always, it was locked, Lily made her way up to the castle. She didn't notice that she could see unusually well until she was about halfway across the grounds. She looked up. Partially hidden by clouds was a big, white full moon.

Normally, Lily loved the full moon. Just loved watching it rise. But, like every other student at Hogwarts, she had heard rumours of werewolves in the Forbidden Forest in her first week at school.

As if on cue, a ghostly wailing howl spiralled up from the trees off to her right, and the sound of something big moving quickly through dense wood followed it. Lily started to run. She could hear fast, heavy thumps behind her, gradually growing louder. She was running as fast as she could now, having dropped her books, and the cold air was slashing at her lungs. She was running and running, but she could hear the beast gaining on her. She could almost feel the hot breath, steaming forth from slavering jaws. Her foot caught on a root as she ran under a tree. She fell forwards, sprawling on the grass. Rolling over, she saw a massive shadow leap over her, as the werewolf's momentum carried it past her. She turned to look at the creature, staring in morbid fascination as it slowly lurched back to her. Its cold yellow eyes were fixed upon her, its nostrils flaring as it smelt her terror and horror.

Lily closed her eyes and turned her head, waiting for the bite, the flaming agony, which would make her like it. A mindless beast, every full moon.

But the bite didn't come. She heard the thump of hooves, and an animal scream, as another creature leapt over her. She raised her head. A huge stag was beating the wolf off, stabbing at it mercilessly with its antlers, forcing it away from her. As she looked on in a petrified daze, a black dog joined the fray, leaping on the werewolf's back. The beast howled at losing its prey, before running back into the forest. The black dog followed it, but the stag waited for a moment.

It turned and stared at her. She stared back, her eyes wide with terror and barely contained shock. It shook its head in the direction of the castle, and galloped after the dog and the werewolf.

Lily stayed frozen to the spot for a moment, before a thought finally penetrated her paralysed brain, oozing through like treacle.

What if it comes back!

Lily ran the rest of the way to her dormitory, not caring if anyone saw her. Even if someone had, they wouldn't have recognized her, covered in mud, her face streaked with tears.

She ran to her bed, and wrapped herself in her fake bearskin blanket, still shivering. She rubbed her face on the fuzz that had comforted her since she was five, sobbing as quietly as she knew how.

She sat huddled in the middle of her bed, crying silently for hours. When she finally fell asleep, she tossed and turned, troubled by nightmares of howls and yellow eyes.

~*~

In the morning, Lily woke up very early, shaken from sleep by slavering jaws, unearthly howls and an oddly familiar face. She sat and shivered for a while, trying to block out the events of the previous night.

As the pre-dawn light crept into the room, she realized that, whether or not she told Jasmine and Eli, she wouldn't want everyone in Gryffindor fussing over her.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she got off her bed. After taking a long, hot shower and casting a quick Scourgify charm on her clothes, Lily remembered her books. She had dropped them last night, running from the... Running. Just running. But she would need them, and if they were found, it could lead to that fussing that she was trying to avoid. She really couldn't afford to spend any more time in the hospital wing; she still hadn't caught up on the work she'd missed due to her fever.

She was just about to jump through the portrait when, lo and behold, there were her books. Neatly piled on the desk, hardly looking worse for wear from their long night outside in the mud. Who would have gone outside with a werewolf on the prowl? She checked for a note, but there wasn't one.

Lily frowned at the textbooks, but none offered an answer to the mystery. So, still pondering, Lily took them upstairs.

~*~

Throughout the day, Lily's level of consciousness slowly deteriorated. At breakfast, she was wide-awake, arguing with Jasmine and Eli over her supposed infatuation with one who shall remain nameless. At lunch, she was beginning to feel the effects of her sleepless night. At dinner, she was almost asleep on her feet. It hadn't helped that during double Potions, they had been making a variation on the sleeping draft by putting a timer on it, so the dosed person would wake up after a set period of time, rather than just when the potion wore off. The steam had gotten into her system, and she had been so tired that even Slughorn had seemed concerned. It was all she could do not to fall asleep in her shepherd's pie. Jasmine and Eli seemed to have noticed her condition, and were content to talk to each other, rarely drawing Lily into the conversation.

When Dumbledore stood up to wish them all good night, Lily's sleep deprived brain realized that Dumbledore would want to know about the previous night.

"You go on ahead, Jasmine, Eli. I need to ask McGonagall about the essay she set us."

Lily made her way through the crowd of students. If she had been in any condition to be observant, she would have noticed Potter looking at her, worry and concern etched clearly on his features.

"Professor!" she called. "Professor Dumbledore!"

The long bearded figure in front of her halted, and turned to face her.

"Professor, I have something very important to tell you."

"Yes? Tell away, Miss Evans."

"Ummm... In private, Professor? Please?"

"In private? Hmm. Very well. Come into my office. I have some rejuvenating potion up there, and you look like you need it." Here the Headmaster winked at her. Lily smiled wanly in return.

"Thank you, Professor."

"Excellent. Well then, Miss Evans, if you would follow me?" Dumbledore led her to a stone gargoyle she had passed almost every day she spent at Hogwarts. He winked at her again.

"Sugar Quill."

As Lily looked on, the gargoyle suddenly became animated, jumping aside to reveal a staircase, slowly moving up in a spiral.

"Is that an escalator?"

"An escalator? The moving staircase employed by Muggles instead of climbing normal stairs? No, but the basic idea is the same. Much easier to have the stair take you to your destination than to climb all those steps."

"Ah."

Dumbledore's office was completely different from the Headmaster's office at her previous school, where she'd gone before receiving that life-changing letter. That office had been almost Spartan in its contents and decorations. This one was tastefully decorated. Unlike most offices she had been in, the curtains actually matched the carpet. Lily was impressed.

Dumbledore lead her though a maze of various contraptions that seemed to be placed at random around the office. Some whizzed, some whirred, and some smoked, squealed and buzzed. After rummaging through his desk for a moment, Dumbledore produced a crystal decanter and a goblet. Lily took the dark purple liquid hesitantly, examining it closely. Dumbledore beamed at her.

"Don't worry. It's blackcurrant flavour."

Lily breathed an inner sigh of relief, and poured some into the goblet. Dumbledore was right, it did taste quite nice. A bit like Ribena, but a little bit too concentrated.

Immediately, she began to feel more alert.

"So," said Dumbledore, settling behind his desk and steepling his fingers, fixing her with that piercing light blue gaze. "What was this urgent matter you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Oh. Ummm, well..."

"Yes?"

"Iwasoutsidelastnightandwasattacked-"

"Miss Evans, please. My hearing isn't as accurate as yours may be. So slow down and tell me what happened."

"Well, um, yesterday, before dinner, I went outside to do some work, but I fell asleep, and when I woke up it was past curfew, and, so, umm... therewasawerewolf."

Dumledore suddenly seemed much more grave. "A werewolf, you say? Tell me exactly what happened."

"Well, I heard a howl, from the Forest, and then there was a werewolf. It had the tail and the short snout and everything, so..."

"So? Tell me, why aren't you in the Hospital Wing with quite a few nasty bite marks?"

"Well, there was a stag. It, it beat the werewolf off."

"A stag, you say?"

"Sir... sir, if you'll pardon me asking, you don't seem very surprised..."

"Hmmm? No, no, I have always known that a werewolf was present within the school. I do know most of what goes on in this school, in regards to safety and learning. Mind you," he added, his eyes twinkling, "that's not to say I know everything. Why, just last month, I found a small hole filled to the brim with various samples of Honeydukes' produce! I quite enjoyed the Fizzing Whizbees."

"But, what if people stay out at night, like I did?"

"That, my dear, is why there are large penalties for being out so late. Don't worry. Werewolves, you see, lose every ounce of what they are when they transform. They become highly aggressive lupines once a month. As such, people are very prejudiced about them, wrongly assuming that they are always vicious and dangerous. This werewolf, I felt, deserved a chance."

"Al...alright, then."

"Thank you for telling me of this event. That rejuvenating potion will wear off in a moment, so I suggest you get some sleep, and lots of it."

"Yes, Professor."

"Oh, and Lily? Please don't tell your friends. And don't go looking for the werewolf. I guarantee that poor person is feeling terrible, both from their night and from attacking you. Goodnight, Miss Evans."

"Goodnight, Professor."