Rating:
R
House:
Schnoogle
Characters:
Draco Malfoy Harry Potter
Genres:
Romance Slash
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix Quidditch Through the Ages Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Stats:
Published: 06/17/2003
Updated: 07/25/2005
Words: 99,146
Chapters: 29
Hits: 317,001

Second Chances

kishijoten

Story Summary:
For the first time in over a decade, Harry Potter crosses paths with Draco Malfoy. Both have changed a great deal, but what do those changes mean to them - and to each other? **slash**

Chapter 18

Chapter Summary:
Chapter 18 marks the beginning of the second half of "Second Chances"
Posted:
01/21/2004
Hits:
9,083

Summer had never been Harry's favourite time of year. Since his eleventh birthday, when he received his acceptance letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the summer holidays had been something to dread rather than to look forward to - a time when he had to live with his horrid relatives and a time of forced separation from his friends. In later years, the summer tended to herald a period of increased Death Eater activity, bringing with it the deaths of friends and loved ones.

The summer that Harry turned thirty-three brought none of these things. Everyone he cared for continued to thrive, and he had plenty of time to devote to visits with his friends.

In spite of all of this, it was one of the worst summers Harry could remember.

When he wasn't visiting his friends or preparing his lesson plans for the upcoming school year, Harry spent most of his time sleeping - or lying in bed pretending to sleep. Sometimes - perhaps once a week - he would go around to the pub and drink more than he ought and Remus would have to come collect him and help him home and into bed. Often when he was in such a state, he would end up crying on his friend's shoulder and begging him not to tell Draco that he had broken his promise.

Remus, of course, had no idea what promise Harry was on about; he had no intention of telling Draco anything, however, so giving his word to keep mum about Harry's broken promise was quite easy. Keeping Tonks from stalking down to Draco's cottage in a rage and shaking her cousin until he fixed whatever he had done to Harry proved to be a bit more difficult.

Shortly after his birthday, Harry disappeared, as he had done periodically throughout the summer. This time, however, when Remus went down to the Hog's Head to retrieve him, Harry wasn't there. He finally appeared at Remus' house around midnight, looking haggard but completely sober, and immediately shut himself up in his room without saying a word to anyone.

The next day, The Daily Prophet reported that Lucius Malfoy had been arrested.

** ** **

Two weeks later, on a sunny afternoon near the end of August, Harry nervously made his way to Molly and Arthur Weasley's home where the entire clan would be gathered for Hermione's visit. Hermione's job had involved a great deal of travel in recent years. During the war, she had gleaned helpful information from magic users around the globe and garnered a little support for the Order; now that some semblance of peace reigned in Britain, Hermione's job was one part research and three parts international goodwill ambassador. Her work kept her more than a little busy. This would be the first time that Harry had seen her in over a year.

And it would be the first time Harry had seen Molly since she had thrown him out of her house. He was a little unsure about attending, but Molly had sent him an owl inviting him to the gathering. He was glad that he would be arriving with Tonks and Remus rather than on his own. His emotional state had been in complete upheaval since the debacle following the twins' birthday party, and he didn't think that he could survive any more painful confrontations.

Remus, sensing Harry's apprehension, gave the younger man's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Tonks to take a place at Harry's other side, caging the man protectively between herself and her lover, and rapped sharply on the Weasleys' door.

Almost instantly, the door flew open. Molly completely ignored Harry's bodyguards and descended upon the young man at once, drawing him into a bone-cracking hug. It was as if their falling out had never happened.

Harry had no chance to speak with Molly about her apparent change of heart, to apologise, or even to wonder about her actions; as soon as he crossed the threshold, the entire clan was on him. All at once, the smaller children were trying to climb up 'Uncle' Harry's legs, the older children began vying for his attention, and the adults all tried to shake his hand at once. In spite of all the turmoil, Hermione somehow managed to shoulder her way through the crowd and throw herself into Harry's arms with a laugh. As he kissed his friend's cheek, he wondered how he ever could have worried that coming today would be the wrong thing to do.

Later, after the chaos had died down as much as it ever would at the Burrow, Harry settled comfortably on one side of a battered picnic table between Ron and Hermione. Had it not been for the fact that Ron was cuddling a toddler on his lap and popping up occasionally to see to one of his older children, Harry might almost have imagined the three of them were once again youngsters enjoying the summer away from school.

"So many children," Hermione noted as Ron hopped up once again. "How does one keep them all straight?" she asked, giving Harry a conspiratorial smile.

"The ones with red hair are Weasleys," Harry quipped. Hermione giggled. "I'm serious," Harry insisted. "The redheads are Weasleys, the blond boy is a Delacour, and the blonde girl is a Malfoy."

"Oh, honestly, Harry," Hermione exclaimed. "I almost thought you were serious for a moment."

Harry smirked. "The blonde girl really is a Malfoy, Hermione. And the blond boy, as I'm sure you remember, is Fleur's son, Armand Delacour. I think the rest are Weasleys, but I wouldn't swear it."

"That sweet girl is related to Draco Malfoy?" Hermione asked, intrigued. She turned around in her seat, watching the girl in question.

"She's his daughter. And honestly, Hermione, you needn't act quite so surprised," was Harry's indignant reply.

Hermione's expression was carefully controlled for propriety's sake, but Harry could see the confusion and surprise in her eyes. "I didn't mean to offend you, Harry."

Harry reminded himself that she hadn't been privy to the goings on in his private life and would of course think it strange that he had anything good to say about his childhood nemesis. "Draco has three children," he explained. His voice sounded calm and matter-of-fact, and he congratulated himself on not letting his heartache show. "They're all at Hogwarts. Sera - that's the blonde girl - is going into her third year. She reminds me a lot of you, actually. She's very bright, always has all the answers, and worries too much about 'the rules'," he teased, bumping his shoulder against Hermione's and grinning. "I think Ella - that's Fred's oldest, the girl Sera's talking to. I think she's been a bit of a 'bad' influence on Sera. Ella's as mischievous as both of the twins together, but she's so much more...subtle, I suppose. She should really be in Slytherin, though I would never tell her father that."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I can hardly believe Hogwarts still goes by that silly house system. I remember Professor Dumbledore telling us how we all needed to work together..." She paused, sighing. "I would have thought that by now the Board of Governors would have worked out something a bit less divisive."

"I doubt they ever will. For the most part, the Governors don't understand what it's like for the students, how much the house divisions can hurt the children." Responding to the sadness in Harry's voice, Hermione took his hand in both of hers. He smiled at her to let her know that he was all right. "One of my students is in therapy because of the damned houses," he added quietly.

Hermione's grip tightened. "Harry, that's horrible! The poor child. What happened?"

"He was separated from his brother and his sister and placed into a house that his grandfather thought beneath notice. Said grandfather took every opportunity to belittle the boy for not becoming a proper Slytherin," Harry snarled.

"One of Draco Malfoy's children?" Hermione guessed.

Harry nodded. "Adrian. The baby of the family, really, although only by a few minutes. He landed in Hufflepuff, and it nearly broke him. It's a good fit, though, and he's doing much better now. Well, he was..." Harry forcefully stemmed the flow of words before he ended up spilling his most intimate secrets.

"I was surprised to find out Malfoy has kids, myself," Ron interjected, startling Harry who hadn't known his friend had returned. "I always heard rumours about how he played for the other team, so to speak."

Harry looked at Ron, then, and shook his head at the knowing look in his eyes. When did Ron learn to understand people? 'Probably when he got married,' Harry thought. Aloud he said, "Yes, well, could you imagine him telling Lucius that he prefers a good rogering to a bit of..."

"Harry!" Hermione gasped, cutting him off. She pointedly looked around at the children present who might or might not be close enough to overhear him.

Ron shook his head. "I imagine that wouldn't have made Lucius Malfoy a happy man."

"As if anything could, short of my head on a platter," Harry added.

"So did you?" Ron asked, with a sly grin. Seeing the blush rising in his Harry's cheeks, he crowed, "You did!"

Harry groaned.

"Did what?" Hermione asked.

"Malfoy," Ron answered. He gave Harry a congratulatory thump on the back.

For a moment Hermione's expression was one of blank confusion, then she squealed 'You slept with Malfoy?!"

"Hermione, shut up!" Harry hissed. He looked around to see if anyone was listening, and his eyes locked with those of Sera Malfoy. He was certain she had been too far away to overhear Hermione's exclamation. Swallowing hard, he forced himself to hold her gaze. His resolve wavered when she started walking toward him.

"Professor," she greeted him, her voice soft.

"Harry," he reminded her.

Sera smiled. "Harry," she corrected with a nod. "I wanted to apologise...for Damien. What he did was wrong, and everyone knows it. Only, he's a er...a bit stubborn and won't take it back even though I know he wants to." She was silent for a moment, shifting almost imperceptibly from foot to foot. "Harry...we miss you."

Looking into the girl's eyes, he knew what she was really saying: Dad misses you. He took the girl's hands in his own and gave her a shaky smile. "Thank you, Sera."

The girl leaned down and brushed her lips against Harry's cheek, and then Ella was dragging her away. The three adults watched her go, and then Hermione turned to look at Harry.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing I want to talk about," Harry replied calmly.

"Harry..."

"No, Hermione. I can't talk about it. Not again. If you really have to know, ask Remus." With that, Harry stood and stalked into the house.

Hermione and Ron exchanged a glance and then quickly went to find Remus Lupin.

** ** **

Some time later, Hermione found Harry upstairs, in what had once been Ron's bedroom, lying on his back on Ron's old bed and staring up at the ceiling. Without a word, she climbed up on the bed and lay down beside him, her head resting on his chest and her arm around his waist. He brought his arm down around her and threaded his fingers through her hair.

"Are you going to lecture me?" Harry asked quietly.

"No."

"Planning to help Tonks beat the shit out of her cousin?"

Hermione stifled a giggle. "No. In fact, I spent a good half hour trying to help Remus talk her out of doing just that."

Harry scrubbed his hand over his face. "She won't do anything. She just feels helpless. For some reason, Tonks thinks it's her duty to look after me."

"And when she sees you hurting and can't fix it, it drives her mad. Believe me, Harry, I understand."

"I know."

For a moment they lay there in silence, Harry willing himself not to feel and Hermione weighing her words before speaking again. "Remus is worried about you," she said at last.

"He always worries about me."

"He says you've been spending a lot of time at the pub."

"He's got a big mouth," Harry grumbled. "And he doesn't know the half of it," he admitted, the words mumbled as if he meant them only for himself. He sighed and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm working on it, Hermione. I've been talking with Sheila. I'll be fine."

"Good."

Harry shifted, wrapping both of his arms around Hermione and burying his face in her hair. "I miss him." The simple admission brought tears to Hermione's eyes.

"You love him." Her voice was soft and filled with wonder. After Neville, Hermione thought Harry would never truly love anyone again.

"I love all of them," he corrected. "Adrian is - was - the closest thing I'll ever to know to a child of my own. And Draco... You'd like him, Hermione. He's a wonderful man, and a great father." His breath hitched a little. "We could have been a family. A real family."

"The family you always wanted," Hermione whispered against his chest. "Oh, Harry." She held him for awhile, sensing his inner battle to control his emotions. When he was calmer again, she leaned up on one elbow to look down at him. "My offer still stands, you know."

"One day, I will take you up on that offer, Hermione. Once I've worked some things out...." He sighed. "Right now, I have too many inner demons to raise a child."

"Just don't wait too long, Harry, or you'll have to find a younger surrogate."

The comment was meant to be humorous, but Harry didn't laugh. He merely hugged Hermione tightly and kissed her hair.

** ** **

That night, Harry's friends began a campaign to keep his thoughts away from Draco Malfoy. Hermione spent a great deal of time with him in the three days before she had to return to her work abroad; Ron and his wife Hannah issued a constant string of invitations for Harry to join them at their home; Tonks and Remus took care to ensure that he was included in their comings and goings more often than not. The last week of the summer holidays passed by in a blur, and before Harry had time to catch his breath it was time to move back to Hogwarts.

On the last day of August, Harry gathered up the few belongings he had brought away from the school and tossed them back into his battered travel trunk, carefully lay the reams of paperwork for the upcoming school term on top, and levitated the ancient trunk down the road to the castle. Not a single living being crossed Harry's path as he entered the building, though Sir Nicholas greeted him cordially as he made his way down the nearly silent hallway toward his quarters. It seemed as if no one was aware of his arrival, and Harry couldn't be more pleased. He had an entire academic year ahead of him in which he would see Draco every day - see him and yet be unable to hold him, to kiss him, to show any outward sign of his affection for the other man.

Tonight was his last night of peace before his descent into hell, and he'd be damned if he intended to waste it. Everyone thought he was safely ensconced at Hogwarts; there would be no one to hunt him down when he was in his cups and no one to look at him with pity and disappointment in their eyes. He'd been planning this night for the last week, dreaming of it while forcing a smile for one or another of his well-meaning friends. Their small-talk and reminiscences could not keep his mind from Draco, but Harry knew what would.

Stripping off his robes, Harry dressed carefully in a suit of casual Muggle clothing: jeans with a special pocket on the side of the right leg in which to conceal his wand; a snug-fitting, long-sleeved tee shirt; and a pair of heavy black boots. Glancing in the mirror - a normal, Muggle mirror which wouldn't force its opinion on him - Harry made a quick, half-hearted attempt to make his hair behave. Giving it up as a lost cause, he tousled the thick locks instead, making him look a bit dangerous. He thought the look fit.

Harry strode purposefully out of the castle and out the nearest gate. As soon as he was past the anti-apparition field that surrounded the school, Harry clutched his wand, closed his eyes, and Disapparated. An instant later, he appeared in a dark alleyway in a seedy part of one of the Muggle cities near to Hogwarts. He tucked his wand into its pocket and stepped out of the alley onto a garishly lit street teeming with people. Somewhere along that street he would find what he needed to push Draco's memory from his mind - if only for a short time.