Every Time I Close My Eyes

Chapter 2

Planning the Wedding

Hermione blinked. The room was very dark and she recognized the bedspread instantly. Someone had taken her home and was playing idly with her hair. Hermione twisted around. Harry was leaning against her headboard, his eyes closed, and his fingers gently tugging and twisting her hair. One of Harry's eyes opened halfway.

"About time you woke up."

Hermione rolled back over. She felt like a truck had hit her. Hermione recapped everything. The image Ron standing up and lifting up Rachel's hand. Recalling the ring glittering cheerfully, mocking her in her agony. Remembering the words slipping out of Ron's mouth as if in slow motion.

"I'm getting married!"

Hermione sobbed. She felt Harry scoot down so he was lying next to her.

"Hermione."

She felt his hand on her shoulder. Hermione began to cry so uncontrollably hard that it hurt when she'd inhale. Harry hugged her to him in an attempt to give her some comfort, but it wasn't working. Hermione was heartbroken. They had done this once before, the night she'd first met Rachel. Harry had tried to comfort her in the same way. It had worked then, but Harry knew that this was much worse.

Hermione wept for a good fifteen minutes. Harry let her get all of her tears out. Every sob was a lonesome moan, and every time she made that heartbroken sound, Harry winced and held her tighter. He hated Ron for hurting her like this, but he knew that Ron didn't know. After a very long time Hermione's sobs became softer and less frequent. She was hiccupping from lack of oxygen. Harry pulled her hair back so he could see her face. Her hands clenched into tight fists.

"It's all my fault!!!" she screamed. Harry hushed her and patted her hair over and over again.

"If-if-if..."

Hermione seemed incapable of forming coherent sentences. Harry patted her hair again and gave her a small squeeze. Hermione sobbed long and hard.

"If I had only told him, Harry! If I had only told him sooner!!!"

Hermione was crying even harder now. Her eyes were closed in her anguish and her face was red and covered in tears. Harry attempted to brush some of them away, but there were too many. The two of them just sat there for a few minutes. Hermione's hiccups slowly subsided and Harry held her even tighter.

"Thank you, Harry."

Hermione's voice was cracked. Harry shushed her. They were silent for the longest time, as Hermione took deep, steadying breaths, followed by an awkward silence.

"Who took me home?" she asked quietly.

"I did," he said softly.

"Did he ask where I'd gone to?" she asked in a slightly hopeful voice.

"I don't know. I didn't go back."

She twisted around to look at him again.

"Oh, Harry. You didn't have to stay here with me."

Harry shrugged.

"I couldn't leave you to wake up all alone."

Hermione was awed. He had anticipated her reaction and did all he could to make it easier for her. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight.

"Thank you, Harry. Thank you."

"I'll always be here for you, 'Mione."

They lay like that for a long time, until Hermione was sound asleep in Harry's arms.

_-_-_

"Where did you two go last night?" Ron asked through his doughnut. Harry gave Ron a sharp glance. Hermione turned very red and began chewing her food even faster.

"We had stuff to do at home. Sorry we weren't there," Harry said, seeing Hermione's distress. Ron shrugged.

"It's ok. Oh, and I'm sorry to hear about Mariela, mate," Ron said to Harry. Hermione turned to Harry.

"What's this about Mariela?" she asked him. Harry blushed slightly.

"She broke up with me this morning. Seems she thought you and I were doing stuff last night," he said, causing her to blush too.

"Oh, Harry I'm so, so sorry!"

"It's ok. We only went out for two weeks so it was more like a really long blind date than a relationship anyway."

"Oh! I didn't get the chance to ask you what I wanted to ask you, Hermione," Ron said. Hermione looked up in surprise and hope.

"You did such a great job with that surprise party! Will you plan Rachel and my wedding?"

Hermione choked. She swallowed hard and looked at Harry and Ron. Ron was staring at her in anticipation, as was Harry.

"Ron... Um, I would be honored."

Ron broke into a wide grin.

"Thanks, 'Mione!"

He leaned back and picked up another doughnut. Harry was still staring at Hermione. He had this strange look on his face that Hermione couldn't read. This unnerved her; she could always read his expressions. Hermione picked up her fork and stabbed at the eggs on her plate.

"Hello all!"

The voice of the devil rang out, causing Hermione to wince. Rachel ran over to Ron and hugged him tightly around the neck, then kissed him nice and long. Hermione cleared her throat and stood up.

"I need to get to the University."

She picked her bag and flung it over her shoulder. Harry stood up too. He took one last swig of his orange juice and dropped down on the table with a thud.

"I'll take you. I have to go that way, anyway."

Hermione nodded. She just needed to get away from Ron and the wicked witch of the west. The two of them walked out of the restaurant and to Harry's car. Harry had learned to drive over the summer of his sixteenth birthday, and it was his preferred mode of transportation in the Muggle parts of town. Hermione sat down and snapped her seatbelt into place. Harry drove her silently to the University, where she worked, and parked the car. Harry sat there for a minute, his hands on the wheel.

"You're going to plan his wedding."

It was more of a statement than a question. He looked over to her. She averted her eyes quickly.

"Was that a wise decision?"

"It is my decision to make, whether it was wise or not."

Harry opened his mouth to argue, but Hermione held up her hand to silence him.

"I'm planning his wedding Harry. I don't want to argue with you. I need to get to class."

She got out of the car and walked into the giant school before Harry could call her back.

_-_

"I have bad news. I have to leave," Ron announced. They all looked at him in shock.

"The Chudley Cannons are going to Ireland, since I'm their business manager, I have to go, too!"

Rachel smiled.

"Of course, honey!"

Ron smiled and turned to Hermione. Hermione felt butterflies in her stomach for a moment.

"You can plan the wedding with Rachel."

Rachel and Hermione's faces fell.

"What? " they both asked at the same time. Ron looked between them in surprise.

"You're both going to plan the wedding, right? Sweetie, don't you want to pick out your flowers and things. Don't worry about the money, whatever you pick out will be fine."

Hermione and Rachel stared at each other. Hermione felt her left eye twitch slightly before she turned to Ron, smiling (in a very forced way).

"I can't wait to get started," Hermione said sweetly.

Rachel said also, "Me too."

"Great! I'll see you two in three months."

_-_

"I can't believe I have to spend my time with that... that..."

Strangely, Hermione had suddenly run out of nasty names for Rachel. Harry was sitting on the couch upside-down. He put down his magazine and looked up at her.

"It's your fault."

Hermione glared at him. Harry grinned sheepishly and shrugged.

"Well, it is. You should never have agreed to do this."

Hermione picked up his magazine and dropped it over his face.

"Shut up," she said rather acidly. Harry laughed and shook the magazine off his face. He sat up and set the magazine on the counter next to the couch.

"You'll just have to become her friend."

Hermione looked at him in disbelief.

"What?" she snapped. He shrugged.

"You'll have to make friends."

She sat down next to him and began to attempt to reason with him.

"Make friends with her? You're kidding! Do you not remember what she's like?" she yelled, gesturing wildly.

"Yeah, but-"

"Do you not remember her making fun of my hair and clothes?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Do you not remember that she's going to marry the only person I've loved since fifth year?"

"Hermione, calm down. I realize all that, but you're going to have to make friends with her sometime! She's going to be around a lot more once she gets married to Ron! You might as well just get it over with now."

"I don't want to be her friend. She stole Ron away from me."

"Hermione, this isn't like you. Besides, you broke up with Ron in sixth year," he said. Hermione was mad now.

"Wrong! He broke up with me!"

Harry rolled his eyes.

"Unless my memory serves me wrong, it was a mutual agreement."

"So? Harry, he made me fall in love with him again, and it's been torturing me ever since."

"I know, 'Mione. I know."

_-_*Two Weeks Later*_-_

"How was shopping with Rachel?" Harry asked, half sarcastic, half serious.

"Actually, it went fairly well. For the most part, anyway."

This surprised Harry. "Really?"

"Yeah." She sat down on the couch next to him. "I actually managed to be in her company for a whole two hours!"

Hermione lay down and laid her head in his lap looking up at him.

"It's getting harder, Harry."

Harry started petting her hair like he always did when he felt one of her long cries coming.

"What is?" he asked. Hermione took a deep breath and let it out in a big sigh.

"Planning Ron's life with another woman."

Harry looked down at her sympathetically.

"Why did you tell him that you'd do it again?"

"I love him, Harry. He is my best friend and I'll do this because he asked me to, no matter how much it hurts."

Harry looked down at her with sad eyes.

"I wish you wouldn't do this to yourself, 'Mione."

"I wish you'd keep your nose in your own business, Harry. So butt out," Hermione spat, not meaning to sound so snappy. It had been a hard day, you know. She had had to endure two hours with the woman that could have been her, if only she'd had the courage.

Harry's jaw clenched and he sat there for a moment before he stood up, causing Hermione to sit up. She watched as he walked, stiff backed, to his room. Hermione didn't want him to go.

"Wait, Harry! I didn't mean-"

"Goodnight, Hermione," he said, his tone a little icier than usual.

"Harry!"

It was too late; he'd already shut his door behind him a little harder than usual. Hermione felt heartbroken. She hadn't meant to offend him. She knew he was only trying to help her. Now she felt really bad.

_-_

Hermione couldn't fall asleep that night. She was used to not getting any sleep at night of late, but this night was different. This night, there was no Harry to make her better. This time, he was in another room, angry with her. This caused Hermione to feel even more lonesome than usual.

She couldn't stand it anymore. She pressed her face into her pillow, crying. The tears came and they just wouldn't stop coming. She really screwed this up big time, and it was all her fault. She had pushed Ron away back in sixth year, and now she had pushed Harry away.

"Harry!" she sobbed into the pillow. She needed him. Once the sobs began to subside to mild hiccups, Hermione released the moistened and strangled pillow she'd been clutching. She sat up and wiped at her tears, certain that Harry'd heard her. If he had, he had decided to remain in his room. She'd try to apologize to Harry in the morning. There was no way she could get through this without him.