Stormseeker: Borrowed Destiny

Chapter 55: Canines

---

"Hello, Grim," I say. "We've brought someone to meet you."

Hermione comes into the dorm, arms full of her fluffy ginger cat. "This is Crookshanks," she says. "I hope he likes you."

I wonder what it says about what Slytherin House has become that they don't even bat an eye at a Gryffindor Mudblood strolling through their common room anymore. Judging by the rumors I've heard, they seem to think that I'm the Dark Lord's son, and Ravenclaw's secret heir is my chosen mate. It's all silly, but I don't care to argue with it.

Hermione sets Crookshanks down on the floor. Grim sniffs the cat curiously, and Crookshanks cocks his head back at the dog. The cat's tail twitches distrustfully, but neither of them makes any hostile move. It's interesting watching them making noises and body movements at one another, as if trying to communicate.

"So how has Grim been?" I ask. "He hasn't given you any trouble, has he?"

"Not at all," Draco says. "He's a good dog, and very smart. I swear he always knows exactly what I'm saying. I think he tries to get out at night, sometimes. I've found him down in the common room after curfew."

"Maybe he's trying to get to the Gryffindor dorms," I speculate.

Grim nods his head at that.

"Heh," I say, grinning. "Looking for me, huh?"

Grim shakes his head.

"No?" I say, raising an eyebrow. "Why, then? What, do you just want to eat Ron's rat or something?"

Grim nods his head very enthusiastically at that.

Draco laughs aloud. "Smart boy," he says. "I vote we give him what he wants. Serves the Weasel right."

"That's mean, even if it is Ron," Hermione protests.

Grim whines pathetically and cocks his head, looking up at her with liquid eyes.

"Oh, come on, Hermione," Draco says. "How can you say no to the puppy dog eyes?"

"We'll think about it, alright?" I say, smirking and pulling out my wand. "Muffliato. There's something else I wanted to talk to you guys about. I've already told Neville and Dean, but you guys should know, too."

"What is it?" Draco asks.

"It's about Professor Lupin," I say. "This isn't exactly my secret to tell, but I need your help to make sure it stays a secret. You see, Lupin is a werewolf."

Grim seems to cock his head thoughtfully at that.

Blaise looks a little alarmed. "Dumbledore is letting a werewolf teach children?"

"Snape's making him wolfsbane potions while he's here," I say. "He's perfectly safe. And you have to admit, he's probably the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Hogwarts has seen in years, if not decades. Not counting Draco's father, of course," I add, glancing to Draco.

"Quirrell wasn't so bad," Theodore says.

"Aside from the whole possessed by the Dark Lord thing," Draco points out. "That put a bit of a damper on things."

"Alright, you have a point," Blaise says. "Compared to Quirrell and Lockhart, a werewolf is nothing."

"I want you guys to keep an eye out for anyone starting to wonder about his lunar absences," I say. "Divert suspicion by any means necessary. I already had Luna get her father to print an article in The Quibbler about how Lupin is secretly a hermaphrodite."

"I'm really glad I'm not drinking anything at the moment," Draco says.

Grim seems to be snickering himself.

"Rumors about being a hermaphrodite to divert attention from being a werewolf?" Hermione says. "Honestly now. That's... about on par with everything else The Quibbler prints."

"So yeah," I say. "Lupin's a good teacher, and we don't need any idiots panicking and writing home to their panicked parents about it."

"Storm Army will help, I'm sure," Draco says.

"Just be careful," I say. "I don't fully trust everyone in Storm Army. Only mention the whole of it to those who know my secrets."

"Alright," Draco says.

Grim cocks his head at me curiously, and I have to chuckle a little at that.

"What, do you want to know my secrets, too?" I ask.

Grim nods his head, and gives me the puppy dog eyes again.

"I'll think about it, smart boy," I say, smirking and rubbing his head.

---

"Professor Lupin," I say. "What do you do during the full moon?"

I'm in the Defense office with Lupin, having been invited for tea. He's trying to be friendly with me, I see, and I can appreciate it.

"Mainly, I sit alone and wait it out," Lupin says.

"That sounds awfully lonely," I say. "With the wolfsbane potion, you're not actually in any danger of attacking anyone, right?"

"It helps me retain control," Lupin says. "But I would discourage you from getting any ideas about keeping me company or anything. I wouldn't want to take any chances."

"How long have you had it?" I ask.

"Since I was a child," Lupin says. "Attending Hogwarts with that condition was trying, to say the least. Dumbledore had to pull some strings for my sake."

"But you were friends with my parents," I say. "They knew about it, didn't they?"

"Oh, yes," Lupin says, chuckling softly. "And my friends... well, perhaps I shouldn't tell you this, but they're all either dead or otherwise out of the picture anyway. You see, they all become illegal unregistered Animagi, in large part so that they could spend time with me during the full moon. Werewolves only attack humans, after all. They're no danger to animals, even ones that are actually transformed wizards."

"My dad was an Animagus?" I say, eyes widening. "What could he turn into?"

"A stag," Lupin says. "And that was my happy memory, you see. When James announced his plan. That they were all going to do this for my sake. Not only did they not judge me for being what I am, but they were willing to go out of their way like that for me."

"Wow," I murmur.

"Not just any happy memory will suffice for a Patronus," Lupin tells me. "But it's more the emotion that's important than the specifics of the thought. Hence, it needs to evoke a very strong emotion."

"I can control my emotions pretty well a lot of the time," I say. "I know Occlumency, after all."

"Really?" Lupin says. "That's quite an accomplishment for your age."

Yeah, it took two years of Snape pushing me to get it right. "However, even the strongest happy memories I can think of still don't even get me an incorporeal Patronus," I say.

"Try using the strongest one that comes to mind," Lupin says. "Let me see how that turns out."

I give a nod, and bring to mind the memory of waking up again in Torn Elkandu. The thought that I can change everything. I can save everyone. I can make everything better. I can start over and try again. The swirling purple sky. The taste of pancakes. "Expecto Patronum!" A bright, wavering light erupts from my wand, and I'm able to hold it in place for a good five seconds this time before losing my focus.

"Good, good. But you need to hold onto it better," Lupin says. "That won't hold back a Dementor for long. What is the memory that you were using for it?"

"Heh..." I say, smirking. "Well, you might want to sit down for this. I suppose I already know your secret, so it's only fair that I tell you mine."

"Only if you want to, Stormseeker," Lupin says. "I won't press you for it."

I take a seat across from him. "Muffliato. Colloportus," I mutter. "Alright, this will take a bit of an explanation. In short, I'm a time traveler. And I'm pretty much immortal. When I die, I usually go back to the morning of the same day, giving me a chance to do something different to avoid whatever killed me."

Lupin's eyes widen at that revelation. "I have never heard of such an ability before."

"Yeah, there was some speculation that it might have had something to do with the Dark Lord's failed attempt to kill me as a baby," I say. "I don't really know. I just know that it works, and I'm not taking any chances with Dementors, because I don't know if I could come back from that. I died on the train, you know. Broke my neck trying to get away from the Dementors. And I was still feeling their effects after waking up again."

"That can't be a good sign..." Lupin says. "So what was the happy memory, then?"

"I was killed in second year by a basilisk's gaze," I explain. "But instead of going back to that morning, I went back all the way, to the first time I was killed. It was then that I realized I could start over, do things differently, and save everyone who died that time. Which, by the way, included you. That was how I knew you were a werewolf, you see. I'd hired you as a tutor after Hogwarts was shut down following most of the staff being killed by the basilisk."

"Merlin," Lupin murmurs. "You've been through quite a lot, haven't you..."

"You can say that again," I say. "I'm not sure what sort of circumstances triggered a full reset, but it happened once, so it could happen again. So, yeah. That was my happy thought."

"I would think that something like that should be more than enough," Lupin says. "How long have you been practicing this?"

"Since before Christmas second year, in my last life," I say. "So, about three years?"

"Three years and you still can't cast it?" Lupin says. "Even with that strong of a memory? Perhaps there is something else that is impeding you, then."

"I've always had trouble with charms," I say. "With jinxes, hexes, and curses, I can usually get them off right quick. Charms take a good bit of work to get right. Quirrell, the Defense teacher we had in my first year, said it was because I'm naturally inclined toward dark magic, or something. Of course, he was kind of possessed by the Dark Lord, so he might have been biased."

"Your Defense professor was possessed by Lord Voldemort?" Lupin says in alarm.

"Yeah," I say, shrugging. "But I found out about it and also got him sent to Azkaban for illegal dragon trafficking."

"I see," Lupin says. "Well, people do tend to have different strengths and weaknesses. Your mother, Lily, she was good with charms, for instance, but your father was a master with transfiguration. Just being good with curses doesn't make you a bad person, after all. It can be a very good talent to have in a fight."

I smile at him and relax a bit. "Thanks for that," I say. "I don't know if you've heard the rumors, but a lot of people at this school already think I'm a dark wizard, and therefore evil, and that I'll probably be the next Dark Lord. But I don't want to be a Dark Lord."

"Then don't be," Lupin says. "It does, however, appear that since you have difficulty with charms to begin with, casting an advanced charm like the Patronus will be very difficult for you, although I won't go so far as to say that it's outright impossible. It's very powerful light magic, however, and you might need to do something special to get over the hurdle required to cast it properly."

"Like what?" I ask.

"Hmm," Lupin says. "Tell me. What sort of defenses do you use with your Occlumency?"

"I am the eye of the storm," I say. "Hence the name Stormseeker. With my Occlumency, I imagine myself in the eye of the storm, with my emotions raging around me. Nothing can penetrate the wall of raging winds around my mind."

"Interesting," Lupin says. "In that case, perhaps the key to casting the Patronus Charm will be to tie it into your storm imagery as well somehow."

"How?" I wonder. I can't think of anytime during a storm when I was actually happy.

"I don't know," Lupin says. "You'll have to figure that out for yourself, I think."

I nod. "Alright. Thanks for the help. I'll be sure to think on what you've said."

---

I come into the Slytherin boys' dorm one Saturday afternoon in late November and collapse on Theodore's bed. "Theodore!" I call. "I'm stealing your bed!"

"Be glad you're not in the hospital wing after that last duel," Theodore says from the bathroom door.

Grim looks up at me with concern.

"Oh, I brought you something, boy," I say. I sit up and pull a whole ham out of my bag of holding. "Pilfered it at lunch. All for you."

Grim happily barks. I put the ham down on the floor, and the dog starts gnawing on it.

"You're probably wondering why I'm so beat," I say to the dog. "I just got out of Dueling Club, you see. Ginny Weasley, she's a second year, defeated me in a duel with her infamous Bat-Bogey Hex. It was embarrassing, to say the least."

Grim looks up at me and cocks his head, and I have to wonder if he's being sympathetic or amused.

"Ah, well," I say. "I've been doing better with the Patronus Charm at least, with Lupin's help. I can keep a non-corporeal one going for almost ten seconds now!"

Grim barks happily, and I grin back at him.

"Thanks," I say. "Maybe I'll be able to cast a corporeal Patronus by the end of the year, at this rate. I suppose it's too much to hope for to be able to summon up a giant dragon Patronus that can, like, eat Dementors."

Grim barks and wags his tail.

"Yeah, I hate those things, too," I say. "I can't believe a place like Azkaban even exists. Nobody deserves to be locked away in such a place." I lower my voice, and murmur, "Terrifying thought to think that I could be sent there, if anyone ever found out what I've done."

Grim cocks his head at me, whimpering a little.

"I assure you, he had it coming," I say. "The bastard was attacking my friends. I couldn't stand for that."

Theodore comes out of the bathroom with a towel on his head. "Stormseeker, are you confessing murder to the dog?" he asks.

"Hey, if he tells anyone, I'll kill him," I say lightly.

Grim pants in amusement.

"I really wish they'd just take the damned Dementors away," I say, sighing. "I'm not scared of Sirius Black. Shit, I killed a Death Eater in my first year." Which was actually my third year, but never mind that. "If he comes after me, I'll show him all the new curses I've learned."

Grim whimpers a little and cocks his head at me.

"And he'd probably kick my ass anyway," I add, snickering.

---

The next day is another Hogsmeade visit. I feel bad about leaving Grim cooped up in the Slytherin dormitory, especially with the way he keeps trying to get out, but it's tough to bring him in and out of the castle. I probably shouldn't keep a big dog like that inside all the time, when he clearly wants to go out and run around and play, but I suppose it's better than digging for scraps behind the pub and sleeping out in the cold. And if somebody were to see him, they might make us get rid of him. At least the Slytherins know how to keep a secret.

Ah, well, at least I can bring him back plenty of treats from Hogsmeade. I fill up my bag of holding with things from Honeydukes for him.

That evening, Hermione and I go to see Professor Lupin, Hermione with an armful of ginger fluff.

"Ah, hello, Stormseeker, Hermione," Lupin says. "I'm afraid I don't have much time tonight..."

"It's alright, Professor Lupin," Hermione says. "I just wanted to introduce you to Crookshanks here. Maybe he could keep you company tonight."

"Huh?" Lupin says, looking at her in confusion.

I mutter a privacy charm, and say, "Don't worry, she knows about your 'furry little problem'."

"You told her?" Lupin says.

"I trust Hermione with everything," I say, and then snort. "Besides, even if I didn't, she's one of the few students here bright enough to figure it out in a moment anyway."

"Stormseeker said you would be okay with animals," Hermione says, putting Crookshanks down on the floor.

"Well, I suppose that would probably be alright..." Lupin says.

Crookshanks minces up toward Lupin curiously and cocks his head up at the teacher. Then, after a moment, goes to rub against his leg.

"I think he likes you," Hermione says. "He's a such a smart cat, isn't he?"

"Oh, I don't know about that," Lupin says. "Would I trust me if I were you? I'm still a monster, after all."

"You are not," I say.

"Ah, kids, I think you should go now," Lupin says, glancing uneasily out the window.

A shaft of moonlight comes in through the window, bathing us in pure light. Lupin's body begins shaking, and he starts to transform. I stare at him in surprise, transfixed for a moment at the sight. And then I notice a smoking goblet sitting behind him on the desk. Oh, no. He didn't forget to take his potion again, did he?

"Hermione," I say, eyes widening. "Run."

Hermione makes a break for the door and barely manages to scramble out before Lupin finishes transforming, Crookshanks hot on her heels. I take a deep breath and put myself between the werewolf and the door, pulling out my wand and pointing it at him.

"Flipendo!" I cast, but the spell hardly affects the werewolf. He stumbles a little, but keeps coming.

"Stormseeker!" screams Hermione.

"Go, Hermione!" I yell. "Colloportus." The door slams shut and locks itself, leaving me alone in the room with the rampaging werewolf.

My heart is pounding. I felt horrible about not being willing to help Draco at the Quidditch game. But this is a danger I have no fear of facing. I have no fear of dying, especially if it means that I was able to do something good in the process. And at least I've saved Hermione and gotten her out of harm's way. This is a death I would not be able to regret.

"Impedimenta!" I cast. The werewolf halts in his tracks, but only for a moment. He's too strong for me. I really should have run when I had a chance.

The werewolf is upon me before I can get another spell off, and my wand is knocked out of my hand. Teeth and claws savage my body, ripping through my robes and spilling my blood upon the floor. This is it, I'm sure. I'll be dead in just a moment.

Bleeding. I'm dizzy. My head is swimming. Pain. But landing on my eyelids, there's a light. The moon. I think I can feel it calling me...

My entire body aches, right down to my very bones. When am I going to die? When is this going to be over? The moon, the moon, singing to me in my veins. My blood is burning.

And then, my body is shifting. My bones and muscles are painfully rearranging themselves. Ragged fur sprouts from my skin, and my face transforms into a snout. The injuries that I took are already healing up on their own. I let out a long howl as feral instinct clouds my mind and takes over.

---

Sunrise finds me in a strange place. What am I doing laying on the floor of the Defense Against the Dark Arts office? I should have died, shouldn't I? Why didn't I wake up in the Gryffindor dormitory?

"Oh, Harry," Lupin is murmuring, looking down at me. "I am so, so sorry..."

I look up at him in confusion for a moment, and then it dawns on me what happened last night. Now I remember. The bites, the pain, the transformation... it didn't kill me after all, it merely infected me. I've become a werewolf.

"I forgot to take my potion," Lupin says, looking at the floor. "Your father will never forgive me for this."

I shake my head, trying to stand up wearily, but I'm too exhausted and my whole body still hurts. "Don't blame yourself," I say. "It was just as much my own fault. The smartest thing I did was the Locking Charm on the door, and I really should have been doing that from the other side of it." I snort softly. "Dumbass Gryffindor moment."

"This is serious, Harry," Lupin says. "Now I've infected you. Bad enough I've infected a student, but you of all people. How can I live with myself for something like this?"

"The same way I'm going to," I say. "Life goes on."

"You're taking this surprisingly well," Lupin says. "Perhaps you don't realize how hard this is going to make your life. You'll wind up going through painful transformations every month for the rest of your life. You'll never be able to hold a normal job. You--"

I hold up my hand. "I don't care," I say firmly.

"You can't just dismiss the disease--" Lupin says.

"I said I don't care," I say. "So it'll complicate things a bit. Fine. But I'm still alive. Life goes fucking on. I'll deal with it. That's... the consequences of my own foolish actions."

"Harry..." Lupin says.

"Please, Professor," I say. "Call me Stormseeker."

"Only if you call me Moony," Lupin says.

"Alright, Moony," I say. "Help me up, will you? We're going to have to see Dumbledore. And I'll take full responsibility for this, and tell him that he is under no circumstances to fire you for this or let it get out. There's no way we're going to lose the best Defense teacher we've had in years because of my mistake."

"Reparo," Moony says, pointing his wand at me, and the tears in my robes mend themselves. He reaches down and puts his arm under me, and helps me to my feet.

With Moony's help, I manage to stand unsteadily. I'm still sore all over. I'm surprised at how calm I am, given the circumstances. There's no cure for this. I've just taken something that will hound me for the rest of this lifetime. Why doesn't it bother me more than it does? Probably because it was my own damned stupid fault. I got complacent, expecting that a death that wouldn't stick would be the worst thing that could happen to me. Let this be a valuable lesson for me, then.

The two of us head out to Dumbledore's office. As he seems to be every time I come in here, he's writing at some bit of parchment.

"Good morning, Remus, Harry," Dumbledore says. "What can I do for you today?"

"Headmaster," Moony says. "I'm afraid there's been a terrible accident." He looks to the floor in shame. "I forgot to take my wolfsbane potion, and..."

"It was my fault, Headmaster," I say. "Hermione and I came in and distracted him, and I'm certain that he would have remembered to take it if we hadn't interrupted. I got Hermione out and locked the door behind her, but it probably would have been smarter if I'd thought to lock it from the outside." I laugh softly.

"Stormseeker, this isn't a laughing matter," Moony says.

"Isn't it?" I say. "If I couldn't laugh, I'd probably cry. And I've done quite enough of that for one lifetime. But I'm the only one that was hurt here, so it's alright."

"Still, an attack on a student is not good," Dumbledore says. "What do you wish to do, Harry? Should I dismiss Professor Lupin for this?"

I shake my head vehemently. "Absolutely not," I say. "It was my own fault. I take full responsibility for what's happened to me. Cover it up and keep it quiet. I'll be fine."

"But, Harry, you've been infected," Dumbledore says. "You're a werewolf now."

"I'll be fine," I insist. "Failing all else, I can keep Remus company during the full moon now, I suppose. I'll live."

"I'm so sorry," Moony murmurs.

"You can quit saying that already, now," I say. "I forgive you, alright?"

"I don't know why you should, but I am grateful nonetheless," Moony says.

"Take the day off from classes to rest, Harry," Dumbledore says. "I have some arrangements I will need to make."

---

With all of my friends in their Monday classes this morning, I head down to the kitchens to grab an armful of meat, then make my way down to the Slytherin dorms. Grim is curled up at the end of one of the beds.

"Got some breakfast for you, boy," I say, tossing a whole haunch of ham down in front of him. I sit down across from the dog and gnaw on a sausage myself like a starving man.

Grim looks at me a little oddly, then starts chewing on the ham.

"I suppose you're wondering why I'm not in class," I say. "And I imagine that I probably look like hell, too. Had a little accident last night. My own stupid fault. Seems I've got a furry little problem of my own now."

Grim glances at me in surprise, and then lets out a soft whimper.

"Yeah, I know," I say. "I don't blame Moony for it, though. Like I said, it was my own stupid fault. Wasn't thinking very well. But I'm sore and exhausted now, so I hope you don't mind if I finish eating and then curl up and sleep for half the day."

Grim's ears twitch, and he comes over to me and lays his head in my lap.

"You can curl up next to me if you want," I say. "That's fine. I won't mind the company."

The two of us polish off the meat I'd brought in no time. I climb into Theodore's bed and drift off, my arms full of warm, soft dog.

---

By the time I wake, it's almost dinnertime. "There you are, Stormseeker," Hermione says. "DRaco told me I could find you in here."

"Nngh," I murmur. I'm still a bit stiff and sore, and to think I have another two nights of this... and years more of it to look forward to. "Hello, Hermione. How are you doing?"

"I should be asking you that, you know," Hermione says. "What were you thinking, locking yourself in a room with a werewolf like that?"

"I was thinking that at least you would be safe," I say.

"That's very chivalrous of you, but what about you?" Hermione says. "Are you... did you get infected?"

I give a small nod, stretching and sitting up. Grim, disturbed from where he was laying, jumps down to the floor and looks up at me in concern.

"There isn't any cure for lycanthropy," Hermione says quietly. "I'm sorry... if I hadn't suggested that we go--"

"Don't you start blaming yourself, too," I say. "Relax. Be glad that you still have me around at all, and that I wasn't killed instead."

"But if you'd been killed, at least then you wouldn't have to deal with being a werewolf," Hermione says.

I shrug. "I'll live, alright? It was foolish, yes, but I can't regret it. I did manage to keep you safe, after all."

"Oh, Stormseeker," Hermione murmurs, throwing her arms around my neck. "How can you say you aren't brave when you wind up doing things like that?"

I chuckle softly. "Hey, it was only a werewolf and not a Dementor," I say. "No big deal, right?"

Grim seems to be panting in amusement.