Stormseeker: Borrowed Destiny

Chapter 54: Grim Terrors

---

It's nice having Luna in Dueling Club with me this year. I realize I hadn't spent much time with her last year, outside of meals and Storm Army meetings, after having been inseparable from her in my last life. Maybe I was just subconsciously a little uncomfortable with being around her after how horrifically she was taken from me last time.

Luna's wolpertinger, which she has dubbed Bob, has become something of the mascot for Storm Army, for some reason, despite the fact that nobody else can even see it.

"Well, be careful nobody steps on him," I say after she brings him to a Storm Army meeting in the room by the sleeping dragon tapestry.

"Oh, not much danger of that," Luna says. "Bob is much too quick for that. You all would probably have a hard time catching him if you tried, even if you could see him."

"But he seems to let you pick him up," Neville says.

Luna nods. "I bribe him with treats. He likes me."

"Hey, Stormseeker," Blaise says. "I spent the summer mastering Occlumency. When do I get to be inducted into your inner circle and privy to your mysterious secrets?"

"I think I've done pretty well in learning Occlumency, myself," Dean says. "But I haven't had a chance to really test it. I already know some of the secrets, but I'd bet that there's a lot I don't know yet."

"What about me?" Myrtle says. "I don't think anyone can even use Legilimency on a ghost anyway! I want to know!" Even though she can't actually hold a wand or really use magic, Myrtle is still a permanent fixture of Storm Army. She likes hanging around us, and I wouldn't dream of telling her to go away.

"Should we leave, boss?" Crabbe asks.

Glancing around the room, it looks like he and Goyle are the only other ones present who don't know the secrets. The other members of Storm Army are less enthusiastic about spending their free time practicing spells in unused classrooms.

"No, I think it's about time you all know this," I say.

"But Crabbe and me don't know Occlumency," Goyle says. "Malfoy let us look at some of his books, but it seemed awfully hard."

"I'll take that risk," I say. "Do your best. That's all anyone can ask of you."

"So what exactly is this big secret, anyway?" Blaise asks.

I gesture to them to gather around, and we all take seats in a circle. No more secrets. I let it all out. I tell them everything. About who I really am, where I'm really from, and what my unique abilities are.

"So that's why you go by Stormseeker?" Crabbe asks.

I nod. "It's better that you all know this, I suppose," I say. "We've been through this much together, even if there have been a few bumps along the way."

"I wish I'd known what was really going on with Lockhart," Goyle says.

"Never letting something like that happen again," Draco says, scowling.

"And what about Dumbledore?" Blaise asks. "How does he fit into all this? Does he know about this?"

"He's the one who set it all up," I say. "Beyond that, I really don't think he cares what I do so long as Harry Potter appears to be alive and well. Although I'm sure he might not be too happy if I actually did become a Dark Lord."

"Merlin," Blaise murmurs. "You know, I made some guesses as to what your secret was, but this wasn't even on my list."

I snicker softly. "Yeah, that's kind of the point. What, did you think I was actually the Dark Lord's baby or something?"

"Well, there was the Veratiserum incident in the Slytherin common room last year," Blaise says. "Most of Slytherin believes that by this point, I think."

"Wonderful," I say dryly, rolling my eyes. "No help for it now, I suppose. Anyway, if any of you ever wants to back out or thinks you'd be better off not knowing all this, I can take you to Dumbledore right now and have you Obliviated."

They're shaking their heads. "Not a chance," Blaise says.

"Although it's still hard to wrap my mind around the fact that Darth Vader is actually your father," Dean says.

"You think that's strange?" I say. "Look at it from my perspective. I had to learn about my father from Muggle movies! My mother left that universe before he became a Dark Lord, so even she had no idea..."

"I see your point," Dean says. "If I found out that my mysterious father was actually a famous fictional figure from another dimension... I don't know what I'd do."

"So, about this immortality bit," Blaise says. "You go back in time every time you die? What would happen if you were killed by the Dementor's Kiss?"

I raise an eyebrow at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Dementors can suck people's souls out, right?" Blaise says. "What would happen then?"

My blood suddenly runs cold. "They... they can do what?" I cry.

"You didn't know that?" Blaise says.

"I could have had my soul eaten on the train!?" I exclaim.

"I'm sure the Ministry wouldn't have allowed them to Kiss any students..." Neville says.

I hug my knees to my chest, heart racing in terror. "I had no idea anything like that was even possible," I say quietly. One thing's for certain. I'm going to be avoiding Dementors at all costs from here on out. "I thought they just made you depressed... Fuck."

"Sorry," Blaise says sheepishly.

"Congratulations, Blaise," I mutter. "I think you just changed my boggart."

---

Care of Magical Creatures and Defense Against the Dark Arts continue to be interesting, although thankfully I manage to avoid any further deaths for the time being. I do, however, wish that Professor Lupin would focus more upon curses than how to deal with monsters. I want to learn some cool new spells!

The first Hogsmeade weekend is scheduled for Halloween. Nothing good ever seems to happen on Halloween, so I'm hoping this year might actually be the exception for once. Still, I'm dreading just what might go wrong this year.

"Mr. Potter should stay in the castle," McGonagall is telling me. "Sirius Black is out there! He was sighted not far away recently!"

"But I have a signed form!" I argue. "Dumbledore said I could go!"

"And I should have a talk with Dumbledore about this," McGonagall says. "If Sirius Black were to find you, you could be hurt!"

"I'm more scared of the Dementors than Sirius Black," I say dryly. "At least Black won't suck my soul out!"

"The Dementors aren't going to Kiss any students," McGonagall tries to assure me.

"You say that now, but it only takes one 'accident', and how will the Ministry explain that, then?" I retort.

"Mr. Potter, the Dementors are not going to suck your soul out," McGonagall says. "And if there seemed to be any danger of Dementors actually attacking students, any teachers nearby would ward them off with the Patronus Charm."

"The Patronus Charm wards off Dementors?" I ask. Oh, yeah, I seem to recall hearing mention of that, a lifetime ago, but I'd entirely forgotten about it.

"Yes. Although I rather doubt that you would be able to cast it anytime soon," McGonagall says.

"I've been practicing it for years, and I'm getting close, I think," I say, bringing out my wand. I bring to mind the thought of Draco returning to me, wanting to be my friend again. Hope for the future, hope to mend some of the damage that has been done in this life. I hold onto that thought with all my might. "Expecto Patronum!" A bright, but unsteady light emerges from my wand for a few seconds before wisping away into nothingness.

"That's more than I would have expected at your age," McGonagall says. "That's almost a non-corporeal Patronus. Perhaps, if you're so concerned about the Dementors, it might be fruitful to ask Professor Lupin for further instruction. If you've gotten that far with self-study, you may be able to actually cast it with some appropriate guidance. Might I ask why you have been practicing the Patronus Charm? Where did you even hear of it?"

"I read about it in a book," I lie. "And it seemed like a useful thing to know."

"How often did you expect to be going up against Dementors or Lethifolds?" McGonagall asks.

"Well, not so much that, but I wanted to be able to communicate with my friends quickly, and it could be used for that," I say.

McGonagall looks at me suspiciously. "Did Dumbledore tell you that?"

I frown and raise an eyebrow. Did I say something wrong? "Maybe..." I say ambiguously.

"The use of the Patronus Charm for communication is not widely known," McGonagall says. "You could not have read that in any book." She shakes her head. "I don't know what Albus is playing at with you sometimes. But fine, if he thinks you should be allowed to visit Hogsmeade, then who am I to argue..." She sighs. "Run along now, Mr. Potter, I'm sure your friends are waiting for you somewhere."

"Thank you, ma'am," I say, and leave the office.

---

I head out the gates for Hogsmeade with my friends. It's more than a little unpleasant passing near the Dementors, but downright terrifying when I think of what they could do to me. If I never get close up to another one of those, it'll be too soon. How could the Ministry inflict soul-sucking abominations of doom upon school children like this? Is Sirius Black really worth it?

Thankfully, our first stop is Honeydukes sweet shop, and a bit of chocolate helps to dispel the lingering feeling of cold that the Dementors left clinging to me.

Everywhere I go, I have a crowd of people attached to me like Sticking Charms, when they aren't wandering off a short ways to look at things. Maybe it's true what they say about shared secrets bringing people together. I absently dream of one day commanding an army of loyal followers, to change the world in any way I choose. The fantasy amuses me, even if I'm not really interested in actually ruling the world.

As we're heading through the village, I spot a large black dog skulking behind the Hog's Head, perhaps a stray looking for scraps of food. Feeling a little sorry for it, I go to pull out some of the sweets I'd gotten from Honeydukes out of my bag.

"No, Stormseeker," Hermione says, putting a hand on my arm to stop me. "Chocolate is bad for dogs."

"Oh," I say dumbly. "Well, maybe a Cauldron Cake would be alright, then."

"If you get mauled to death by a rabid dog, I'm not going to cry for you," Draco says.

"Here, boy," I say, holding out the treat toward the big dog. "You hungry? You can have it. All for you."

The dog sniffs cautiously and approaches slowly, then carefully takes the Cauldron Cake out of my hand, licking my palm with an enormous tongue.

"Gah, it's a grim!" exclaims Ron from the far end of the alley.

"It's just a dog, Ron," I say, rolling my eyes.

The dog turns around and gives a good look to Ron, and bounds toward him. Ron squeaks in panic for a moment and jumps back reflexively, but the dog just sniffs at him.

"Get down, you mangy mutt!" Ron says. "Leave me alone! My Uncle Bilius saw a grim, and then died the very next day!"

"You've also been paying far too much attention to Trelawny's death omens," I say, approaching the dog and bending down next to it. "What did she say would kill me today?"

"Um... she said you'd drown in the lake, choke to death on a walnut, get blown up by a firecracker, and then be mauled by a werewolf," Ron says.

"See? Nothing to do with dogs there," I say. I give the dog a pat on the head and scratch him behind the ears, and he wags his tail and pants happily.

"Okay, fine," Ron says. "But no matter how many dogs you pet, I'm not going to think that Harry Potter, the dreaded Stormseeker, is a nice guy."

"You can go off and dread him someplace else then, Weasel," Draco says. "Nobody invited you."

Ron heads off in a huff. I look down at the dog, who is cocking his head curiously at me. "I wonder if McGonagall would let me keep a dog," I say.

"You already have an owl," Hermione says. "And I'm pretty sure giant dogs are against the rules."

"Pity," I say. "I guess you'll have to stay here then, boy."

The dog lets out a pathetic whine.

"You don't want to be left out here? You want to come with me?" I ask.

The dog bobs his head up and down as if nodding excitedly.

"Stormseeker, you can't hide a dog in your dorm!" Hermione says. "And besides, Ron or Seamus would snitch on you for sure!"

"We could always keep him in our dorm," Draco offers. "How would you like to be an honorary Slytherin, boy?"

The dog bares his teeth and lets out a low, rumbling growl.

"What, you got something against Slytherins?" Draco asks. "Would you really rather stay out here in the cold than inside our nice, cushy dorm?"

The dog whimpers softly.

"That's what I thought," Draco says.

"Alright, boy," I say, pulling out my invisibility cloak. "I'll lend you this to get inside, but you have to promise not to run off with it or anything. It belonged to my father, James Potter, you see, and I'm rather attached to it. You promise me that, doggy?"

The dog cocks his head at me, then nods enthusiastically.

"Good, just so we understand each other," I say.

I drape the cloak over the back of the dog, and he vanishes. I don't really trust letting the cloak out of my hands, however, and keep a firm hold on the collar of it, just in case. The dog is big enough that I don't even need to lean down awkwardly to do so, either.

"Alright, everyone form a circle around me," I say. "Snape's been keeping track of students coming and going. When we get inside, can someone distract him so he doesn't notice anything? Maybe bump into him 'accidentally' or something?"

"I'll do it," Neville volunteers.

"When we get to the Great Hall, Gryffindors break off and head up to our common room," I say. "I'll head down with the Slytherins for the moment and join you shortly myself."

The lot of us head back toward Hogwarts, a little bit ahead of the main bulk of the students visiting Hogsmeade today. The Dementors make me shudder, and I'm glad that I still have some chocolate in my bag to nibble on afterward, because I'll surely need it. They seem to give me a longer than usual look, but perhaps it's just my nervousness. I try to stay calm and look casual while holding my hand firmly at a bit of a weird angle on the collar of my cloak. Snape is watching us as we come in, probably making sure that everyone is accounted for.

"Trevor!" Neville cries out, bowling over Snape impressively.

"Watch where you're going, you dunderhead!" Snape says, climbing to his feet and brushing off his clothes.

So far so good. Along with the cluster of Slytherin boys, I get the dog down into the dungeons.

"Aconite," Draco says, opening up the entrance to the common room. There's several first and second years in the Slytherin common room at the moment, as well as a couple upper years like Gemma.

"Stormseeker?" Gemma says, chuckling. "You might as well have been sorted into Slytherin for all the time you spend in here. Wait, have you got something there?"

With my free hand, I put a finger to my lips and say, "Shh," glancing around meaningfully at the younger students, then gesture at her to follow as we go into the third year boys' dorm. Once inside, I glance around, then pull off the cloak, revealing the large black canine underneath.

"He followed us home," Draco says. "Can we keep him?"

"You picked up a stray in Hogsmeade?" Gemma says. "Well, I suppose it's alright, if you boys are willing to take care of him and keep him out of trouble. What are you going to call him?"

"How about 'Grim'?" I suggest.

"Sounds good to me," Draco says, snickering.

The dog barks happily. "I think he likes it, too," Theodore says.

The others head on out to the common room, leaving me alone with Draco and Grim for the moment. "Now, we'll be heading out to the feast in a moment, so you'd best stay here, Grim," Draco says. "I'll bring you back something, alright?"

Grim barks, wagging his tail cheerfully.

"First off, we need to lay some ground rules," Draco goes on. "You can sleep on one of the beds if you want, at the end of the bed, mind you, but no tearing up the sheets. And if you even think about making a mess on my bed, I'll throw you in the lake."

The dog whimpers softly, looking at him pathetically.

As I'm heading for the door to make my way to the Great Hall, I hear Draco murmuring to the dog quietly, "Don't ask me why I do these things for him. Me, Draco Malfoy! But I owe him my life, and I'd drink poison for him, but he'd never in a million years ask that of me. The Stormseeker is something else. He doesn't ask for much, so if the Stormseeker wants a dog, then the Stormseeker will have a dog." He speaks up and says, "Now, stay, Grim. Stay!"

I quickly slip out of the dorm room before he turns around so that he doesn't realize I overheard what he was saying about me.

---

After the Halloween Feast, I go to see Professor Lupin in his office. I'm still dreading something bad happening tonight, since nothing particularly bad has happened so far today.

"Ah, hello, Stormseeker," Lupin says. He looks weary, like he hasn't slept in days. "I'm afraid I don't have much time to chat tonight. Is this urgent, or could you come back tomorrow?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, it's the full moon, isn't it?" I say.

"You know about that?" Lupin says, raising an eyebrow.

The door opens again, and Professor Snape comes in, bearing a smoking goblet. "Your potion, Lupin," he says.

"Ah, yes, thank you, Severus," Lupin says. "Just put it on the desk."

"You be sure to drink that straight away," Snape says, casting a look at me before leaving the room again.

"That's the wolfsbane potion, I take it?" I ask.

"Who told you about my, ah, furry little problem?" Lupin asks.

I shrug noncommittally. "Does it matter?" I say. "It doesn't bother me."

"Well, that's very generous of you," Lupin says. "Now, what was it you wanted to speak with me about?"

I shake my head. "Don't forget to drink your potion," I remind him firmly. If Trelawny keeps predicting my death, she's bound to get at least some of them right.

"Yes, of course," Lupin says, deliberately picking it up and drinking it down. "James would never forgive me if I wound up inadvertently ripping apart his only son."

I imagine that James might never forgive whoever let his only son die at the age of five. "Professor McGonagall suggested that you might be willing to help me learn the Patronus Charm," I say.

"That's a very advanced charm, but given your strong reaction to Dementors, it might be good for you to know," Lupin says.

"I've been practicing," I say brightly. "Would you like to see?"

"Have you, now?" Lupin asks. "Alright, then. Let's see what you can do."

I pull out my wand, and think about... eating chocolate after having been near a Dementor. "Expecto Patronum!" A bright light flickers and sputters out of the end of my wand for a few seconds.

"Hmm," Lupin says. "Your movements and incantation are perfect, but it looks like you don't have a strong enough happy thought, or a good enough grasp on the emotion. What sorts of thoughts have you been using?"

"All sorts of different things," I say. "And some of them I can't tell you about." I give him a crooked grin. "Could I see your Patronus, sir? Please?"

"Alright," Lupin says, raising his wand. "Expecto Patronum." A silvery wolf promptly springs out of the end of the wand and looks up at me.

"Nice," I say. "I'd really like to see what my Patronus will be. May I ask what your happy memory is?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you about that, either," Lupin says.

"That's fair," I say. Will I ever be able to trust him with my secrets? Probably with the time travel bit, but there's no way in the Abyss that I'm going to tell him that I'm not really his friend's son.

"You'd best go, Harry," Lupin says. "It's almost moonrise. But come back next weekend and I'll see what I can do."

"Yes, sir," I say, giving him a quick bow and heading out.

---

The first Quidditch game of the season is the Saturday after Halloween, and it's Gryffindor versus Slytherin. I hate Dueling Club being canceled on weekends where there's a Quidditch game, but at least it's a change of pace, I suppose. I can always go and watch, and support Slytherin. Even if I still can't really follow the game. And it's freezing cold and raining. Is this really supposed to be fun?

"Poor Draco," I murmur. "How can he hope to see the Snitch in this sort of weather?"

"He's almost been hit with a Bludger twice," Theodore says.

The sky was already dark and cold, but it seems to get even darker and colder. Inky black shadows are approaching the field. Shit, Dementors? There must be a hundred of them!

Absolute terror freezes me in place, and I think I hear screaming in my mind. The screams of my dying cousins, Helga and Hilda, tortured to death by that monster, Sedder. Wordlessly pleading for mercy that would never come.

"Draco's in trouble!" Theodore is saying, but his words seem to come to me from a long distance.

"No, no, no..." I murmur softly, shaking my head and shivering uncontrollably.

"We've got to help him!" Neville says.

"No way," I whisper. "No way," I say more loudly. "I'm not going near those abominations for anything." What's the use? People will live and die no matter what I do. The world can burn for all I care.

I'm vaguely away of Neville running out of the stands. I close my eyes and try to shut out the darkness.

Some while later, I find myself shuffled inside, and someone is telling me to eat some chocolate. That'll help, I realize. I absently nibble on some of the object that I was given, and I quickly feel less cold, even though I'm still soaked to the skin from the rain.

"Ugh, what happened?" Draco is muttering. I glance about. How did I get into the hospital wing?

"You feel off your broom," Hermione says. "Neville ran out into the middle of the field and cast a Softening Charm on the ground beneath you."

"Into the middle of the Dementors?" I say, gaping.

"Well, there weren't any of them in that particular spot," Neville says.

"You're a very fortunate young man," Madam Pomfrey tells Draco. "You could have gotten worse than merely some bruises if you didn't have such dedicated friends."

Draco stares up at the ceiling. After Pomfrey leaves the room for the moment, he says, "When those creatures came near... I could remember the Chamber of Secrets. I remembered the Chamber of Secrets again... Fuck."

"I thought that memory was Obliviated," Hermione says.

"I guess the Dementors didn't care about that," Draco says. "They dug it up anyway, apparently. Now I kind of wish I could forget it again."

"I'm sure Dumbledore would oblige if that's what you really want," I say.

Draco shakes his head quickly. "No. Just... didn't expect to see something so horrible in the middle of a Quidditch game like that."

"I'm sorry," I say softly.

"It's not really your fault," Draco assures me.

"No," I say. "I'm sorry I didn't come to help you." I gaze sheepishly at the floor for a moment. "I guess we saw who the real Gryffindor was today. I didn't want to go near those things. Neville's a lot braver than me."

Neville looks at me like I've just given him a priceless family heirloom. "I just didn't want him to get hurt..."

"I don't blame you, Stormseeker," Draco says. "But I do appreciate it, Neville. Thanks."

---

The next day is Sunday, and Professor Lupin takes some time out of the evening to give me pointers on casting the Patronus Charm. I think I might be getting better, but I'm still missing something.

"This might be easier if we could practice against an actual Dementor," Lupin says. "But I do not wish to expose you to that until I'm certain that you're ready for it. Yesterday's incident was bad enough, and we don't need a repeat of that."

"What about a boggart?" I ask.

"Wasn't your boggart Gilderoy Lockhart?" Lupin says.

"It was," I say. "And then somebody told me that Dementors can suck your soul out. So I'm pretty sure a boggart would turn into a Dementor for me now."

"A Dementor as your boggart?" Lupin says. "That would suggest that your greatest fear is fear itself."

"No, my greatest fear is having my soul sucked out," I say, shuddering involuntarily at the very thought. "Being Obliviated is pretty bad, but that's much, much worse."

"I see," Lupin says. "Alright, I'll keep an eye out for another boggart and we can try that."