Echo in My Mind

Chapter 9: The Strength of Emotion

"Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not;

and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad-"

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

~*~

Harry woke to find the last of the Dementors being dispelled further down the street from him. He felt incredibly weak and he couldn't even lift himself up. There was still a biting cold that surrounded him that gradually disappeared as the Dementors were banished. Faintly he thought he heard Professor McGonagall's voice.

Harry tried to push himself up but managed to do nothing but make himself weaker by falling back to the ground. He didn't understand what was wrong with him. He'd never been this weakened by a Dementor before.

Footsteps were growing closer and closer until they stopped before him.

"Over here, Miss Weasley," said the voice that confirmed Professor McGonagall was there.

Harry began to shiver as Ginny ran over to him. The moisture of the snow was seeping into his clothes, effectively freezing his body.

"Potter, get up," the professor commanded.

Still weakened, Harry attempted to push himself up off the cold snow. With a sudden cry he fell backwards, dizzy and feeling as if he was going to throw up. Ginny reached him at that point, dropping to the snowy ground on her knees next to him. She propped him up and then hugged him tight.

"I was so worried. I felt this horrid coldness and I immediately knew something was wrong since it wasn't cold in the Room of Requirement. Oddly enough I saw a flash of what was going on through your eyes and I saw the Dementor. I took of running here and, well, you basically know the rest. I'm just so glad you weren't Kissed. I didn't see you when I got here and I just got so scared."

Shaking, one of Harry's arms rose to pull Ginny closer to him. He was unable to control the spasmodic tremors that were coursing through his body. He hadn't felt so weak in such a long time. At this point he was nearly clinging to Ginny, knowing that if she moved away that he would fall.

Crunching footsteps alerted him to someone coming. Barely able to move his head he craned his neck to see who it was. Professor McGonagall was standing before him holding a large slab of Honeydukes chocolate and breaking off a large piece for him and a smaller one for Ginny. Harry wasn't even aware she had left. Ginny took both pieces and put hers quickly into her mouth before she started feeding Harry his. Slowly a little of the coldness disappeared but it wasn't enough and Harry felt his head falling against Ginny. His breathing slowed to the point where it was barely seen in the air. His eyelids fluttered and shut as he passed out in Ginny's arms.

Professor McGonagall sighed as she conjured a stretcher for Harry. She, as well as some of the other staff members, hoped that Harry wouldn't be in and out of the hospital wing but now that seemed impossible. She watched Ginny effortlessly lift Harry onto the stretcher and wrapped his robe around him as best she could to cover his cold, pale body.

Holding her hand up slightly, Ginny summoned her Firebolt. She wanted to get herself and Harry out of the cold as quick as possible. The walk back to the castle would take at least fifteen minutes and Ginny knew a Firebolt would get them there much faster.

She used a few choice charms to secure Harry to the stretcher. Then she looked up and held out her hand just as her Firebolt flew into it. Ginny attached the stretcher to it, using a few more charms.

"Miss Weasley, what are you doing?"

"I need to get Harry back to the castle, Professor, and this is the fastest way to do it," Ginny replied, mounting her broom.

"I don't think-" McGonagall started.

Her caution was lost to the wind as Ginny kicked off. The professor watched as her pupils flew off into the distance. She prayed they would get back to the castle safely.

~*~

Faintly, Harry could hear the voices of people around him. He could tell they wanted him to wake up. However, his limbs felt like lead and his eyelids seemed to be glued shut. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get anything to move.

"It was only a Dementor attack. He shouldn't be out for this long. Did you give him the chocolate?"

"Yes I did. He ate it and passed out shortly after."

"It's been five hours, Minerva..."

Harry began to feel a heavy fatigue settle over him once more...

"Something's wrong, I can feel it."

"I'm sorry Ginny."

"I want to know what's wrong with him, Hermione! Why won't he wake up?" Ginny shouted.

Harry felt his mouth opening slightly but he was still too tired to move. He managed to croak out a single word.

"Ginny."

At once Ginny scrambled to the side of his bed, shaking him, telling him to speak or move or do anything. Harry couldn't muster up the strength to respond in any way. He felt everything draining out of him as he said her name. Within seconds he had gone limp once more...

A few hours later Harry woke up once more to the sound of new voices and some old ones.

"I've never seen this kind of effect caused by a Dementor before. I will look into it and see what I can find. What can be done to help Harry right now?"

"He seems to be just exhausted. When he wakes up and I check him over, if I find nothing wrong then I'll be forced to let him go, Albus."

"Thank you, Poppy. Ginny, come now, I believe you have a class to attend."

Harry felt some warmth returning to his fingers, which were being held in Ginny's hand. He flexed his fingers experimentally and found that they responded. He heard a quick intake of breath from Ginny. Slowly, as if each movement took much effort, he tapped out a rhythm on Ginny's hand. When he was done she released his hand and flung her arms around him.

"Oh, Harry," she breathed. "What happened?"

She let go of him and sat back, watching as he shivered slightly. His eyelids rose slowly, revealing clouded emerald eyes.

"What-" he croaked but stopped as a sudden coughing fit took over him.

Ginny stayed patient until it subsided, patting him on the back. She was no longer aware of the nurse and Headmaster standing behind her and watching the scene unfold. After another minute or so Harry managed to stop coughing.

"What's happening to me?" he asked weakly, falling back onto his pillows.

Ginny looked worried as she watched his abnormally weak movements. The Harry she had grown accustomed to was never sick and never weak. He was strong, headstrong as well, and she had never seen him this shaky. He'd always been a very steady person, all of his actions precise. Dumbledore's face showed a similar look of concern.

"You had a run in with Dementors, Mr. Potter," Madam Pomfrey began. "For an unknown reason you seem to be considerably weakened when you shouldn't have been unconscious at all."

All Harry managed was a faint "oh". He heard a distant woman's scream in the back of his head, and automatically knew it was his mother's. Bile rose in his throat and he desperately pushed it back down, knowing he hadn't eaten much in days and that it would alert people to a problem if he started throwing up.

"Do you have anything you want to tell us, Harry?" said Professor Dumbledore.

He saw Sirius falling through the fluttering veil and could hear his own screams as his godfather fell into the world beyond.

"Harry?" Ginny prodded.

A fire erupted out of a window as a man jumped out a third story window, flames on his back.

"Yes... there's so much to say. I - I have three horrible memories in my life and they - the Dementors seem to bring all three out at the same time. Maybe it's only two of them, though. One seems to be there constantly. It never goes away. I can't get rid of it and it's tearing me apart. It's just so horrible to see all the people dead and I don't see any way it's not my fault because if I could just kill him I-"

"Harry, stop, you aren't making any sense," Ginny said quietly.

Harry sighed. He knew he wasn't making any sense and that no one could understand him. His thoughts were so jumbled that things just spilled out and he couldn't control what they were. When he talked like that he felt as if he was trying to understand the content of his words, instead of making the others understand them. He let out a low growl of frustration.

"Calm down, Harry, we'll work through this," Professor Dumbledore said.

He said it in what was supposed to be a soothing tone to Harry but truly only aggravated him more. It made him feel as if the Headmaster was just skirting around the real issue, not telling him the whole thing. Harry's hands balled into fists as he tried to keep his temper down. His eyes narrowed as he kept the aging wizard under a scrutinizing gaze.

"What memory did you originally hear when a Dementor was within your range?"

Harry replied shortly, "My mum's screams the night she was murdered by that bastard."

"Mr. Potter!" Madam Pomfrey reprimanded but no one paid her any heed.

"What is the second thing you heard? Dumbledore pressed on gently.

"Sirius falling through the veil, and my own yells to get him back," Harry said, willing himself once more not to vomit.

"The third?"

At this moment Harry paused. He was almost unwilling to share the memory that had haunted him since September. In an odd way it had become an escape for him to remember the Diagon Alley Battle. It gave him something to fall back on when he wanted to get away from it all, the war, his prying schoolmates, and his sometimes-overbearing girlfriend.

"Harry?"

It struck him in a moment that the battle was like a special memory to him. He didn't want anyone else to see what he had been through. He felt as if no one else deserved to see the pain that it had brought him, and no one else should have to see the death and destruction. To Harry it was now a private memory, one that was a reminder to him about why he was fighting and what he was fighting for.

"Nothing, there was no third memory."

Ginny narrowed her eyes, knowing full well that there was a third memory. There were a few times that she had witnessed small glimpses of the battle through her link with Harry. She knew how horrible it had been and how much it was haunting Harry. However, instead of wanting him to keep it inside like he did, she wanted him to get it off his chest. Then, possibly, it wouldn't be haunting his mind so much.

"I believe there was, Harry," Ginny said in a low tone.

Harry's head turned slowly to face her. Ginny watched in wonder as his body leaned forward and his head came closer and closer to her ear. She noticed that he still had a slight tremble, and at this proximity to him it was evident he was still very shaky after his experience. His lips stopped mere millimeters from her ear and she could feel his hot breath against her.

"Harry," she whispered.

Ginny could feel Harry's lips turn up in a smirk; he was so close to her. His tongue darted out quickly, licking a small path around her ear. Then he drew back just as fast, giving her a whispered message.

"Keep your mouth shut or I'll be forced to take more drastic measures."

Dumbledore silently chuckled at Harry's little show. He had always known the boy was manipulative, even manipulating the adults that were supposed to be keeping watch over him. Dumbledore took the smile off his face as Harry turned back to him.

"You were there, sir, and you should know about the fire and ice," Harry said.

Professor Dumbledore gave a short nod as he realized what Harry was talking about. His ice had been what quenched the fire in Diagon Alley. Now it was clear to him, but opened many more doors.

"Harry, I am going to look into this more and come back to you. For now, get some rest. Ginny, you may stay if Harry wants you to."

The Headmaster turned and left. As soon as he was out the door Madam Pomfrey took charge. She clucked her tongue quietly as she inspected Harry for any weaknesses. After running her wand over him and his entire body flashing purple, Pomfrey deemed that nothing could keep him in the hospital wing and that he was free to go. With a grateful smile, Harry allowed Ginny to take his hand and lead him out.

~*~

"Harry, wake up. Come on now, Harry."

Hermione sighed as she continued to shake her slumbering friend. His face was buried in a book, one of the large tomes he had been studying for the next days test. No one was left in the common room at this hour, which was one in the morning. Not a single one of them had the heart to wake Harry up after he had fallen asleep at about 10:30. It had been a struggle for him to stay awake and study that long. Hermione looked at Harry's stack of back work he had accumulated since his first stay in the hospital wing this month with a frown. The teachers had all been a little lenient with him, giving him longer than normal to make up the work since there had been so much. Professor Snape, surprisingly, had given Harry an extra three days, though Hermione knew Dumbledore had forced him into doing it.

"All right, I'm up. Thanks for the - uh - head massage," Harry said, his voice muffled from the book.

Hermione looked down, confused, until she saw her hand had strayed to Harry's hair. Blushing slightly pink she ruffled his hair a little more and removed her hand, laughing quietly. Harry raised his head, grinning at her with a true smile that was rare from him these days.

"I think I ought to give up studying for the night," he added.

Hermione nodded in agreement and watched silently as Harry packed up his books and banished a few crumpled pieces of parchment from attempts at a Charms essay.

"That's a lot of work you have, Harry. Are you sure you're not doing too much?"

Harry replied as he crammed his books in his bag. "I don't have anything I can drop to make more time."

"There's always Quidditch."

The instant the words came out Hermione clapped a hand to her mouth, horrified. Harry turned his head and glared at her, infuriated.

"How dare you even suggest I quit Quidditch!" he spat. "It's about the only thing that keeps me sane anymore!"

"I know, Harry. I'm sorry."

"Don't even try it," he said sharply, his temper rising. "You have no right to decide anything in my life. Goodnight, Hermione."

Harry shouldered his bag, watching out for the still healing burn. He stalked off towards the dormitory door.

"Harry, wait, I-"

The door slammed shut, silencing her.

~*~

The next few days passed in a blur of snow and ice. At the end of an excruciatingly long Quidditch practice, everyone but Harry and Katie dragged themselves off the pitch, cold and a few injured. Katie had been the slave driver for this practice, and she had drilled and drilled the team until they were ready to fall off their brooms. No one had been safe from her wrath except for Harry, and now he was about to get it full force.

Sighing as he watched the team leave the field Harry flew up to the topmost hoop. He dismounted his broom and slid onto the flat top of the hoop surprised it was wide enough to sit on comfortably with no worries of falling off. He saw Katie shooting up to him and out of the corner of his eye watched as the entire team stopped to see what was going to happen. Katie pulled up to a sharp stop in front of him.

"What is wrong with you, Potter?" she nearly shrieked.

Harry didn't answer, knowing it was just a way for Katie to start her rant.

"Did you even catch the Snitch once today? All you've been doing is sitting there staring at nothing for the past few practices! Get your head in the game or else you're off the team! Go catch that Snitch now!"

Harry vaguely wondered what would happen if he decided to fall off the hoop right now. A flash of light distracted him and he turned his head in the direction it had come from. He felt his heart slip down just a little more as he saw the huge Christmas tree in Hogsmeade being lit. He heard the rest of the team oohing and ahhing at it and wondered how they could get so excited over a Christmas tree.

"Did you hear me, Potter? CATCH THAT SNITCH!" Katie yelled.

Harry slid back onto his broom and began to circle the pitch; aware the team was still watching him. He tried his hardest not to look at the humongous tree in Hogsmeade Square as he searched for a little flash of gold. After about a minute he saw it, and tore after it, pushing his broom as fast as it could go. His hair whipped around him in the wind and he could barely feel his fingers because of the biting cold.

Suddenly the Snitch dropped in the air by about two feet. Harry cursed loudly since he was too close to dive the extra two feet to get to the Snitch. He was closing in on the Snitch but it was still two feet under him. At the last second he rolled over, grabbing the Snitch while hanging upside down on his broom. Harry slowed his broom as he swung himself back up, Snitch in hand. He stopped in midair as a sudden thought struck him. This was the clearest his mind had been for months. Laughing at the thought he let the Snitch go again, gave it a few seconds head start, and tore after it.

"All right, let's go," said Katie to the team. "Leave him be, at least he's practicing now."

Ginny looked hesitant as she turned to look one last time at Harry. She felt a warm hand on her shoulder and turned to stare at Ron's face.

"Katie's right, leave him."

Nodding once at Ron they walked off the pitch, following the rest of the team.

~*~

"Hey, Potter! Want a game?"

Harry pulled out of a steep dive with Snitch in hand. He spun around quickly, looking down at the source of the noise. Draco Malfoy was flying his broom lazily up to Harry.

"Come on, Seeker on Seeker."

Harry stayed silent for a moment. He had wanted to practice alone so he could attempt to distract himself from his melancholy thoughts about the holidays. Then, as he thought about it, devoting himself to beating Malfoy to the Snitch would get those thoughts of no Sirius to celebrate the holidays with out of his mind.

"Fine, the Snitch gets a 20 second head-start. No cheating."

Malfoy smirked as Harry let the Snitch go. Each teen silently counted to twenty and when Harry said, "go" the two tore after the fluttering ball.

The wind whipped Draco's hair in his face as he trailed Harry. The sun had set half an hour earlier and the quarter moon was bright in the sky, illuminating the boys and the pitch. The wind picked up again, blowing snow up in circles from the ground. Wandlessly Draco cast another warming charm on himself to ward off the biting cold of the freezing temperatures.

He saw Harry skillfully go into a dive and he followed, not thinking Harry had actually seen the Snitch but tailing him as a precaution. Just as he had expected Harry pulled out of the dive a few feet from the ground.

And that's when they saw it.

Barely noticeable because it blended in with the lights from the giant Hogsmeade tree the Snitch fluttered along. Harry and Draco saw it at the same time and began to race after it. Draco was closer but pushed his broom anyway, knowing Harry would catch him in a few seconds. However, as he pulled to a stop, raising the Snitch triumphantly in his hand, there was no Harry around him.

Looking back about 30 feet he saw the black-haired teen sitting on his broom. He was staring forlornly at the Snitch, but as Draco squinted he realized Harry was staring at the giant tree behind him. Confused, Draco flew over to Harry.

"What's up, Potter, losing your touch?"

Harry shook his head mutely.

"Really, you're more depressed then I am and I'm the one who has to fake dead and go into hiding in a few days."

"I think I'm going to turn down the Weasleys' offer of spending Christmas with them," Harry said quietly. "It'll be too hard knowing that Sirius won't be there. I'll... I can't stop thinking about him, Malfoy. Last Christmas was the last time I truly got to spend time with him and he gave me that mirror and I... I was so stupid."

Draco sighed. "Ginny'll kill you if you don't go with her."

"Good," Harry said, looking away. "I'm better off dead than alive."

Draco shoved a hand through his hair exasperatedly. There was no getting Harry to change his mind at this point.

"Do you want me to tell Ginny or will you?"

"Tell me what?" Ginny said, flying up next to the two boys. "You've been out here forever, I had to come check on you."

"Nothing," Harry answered quickly. "We were just coming down. Let's go, Malfoy, I need the Snitch back."

Ginny looked at them oddly but followed the boys down.

~*~

"WEASLEY SCORES AGAIN, MAKING THE SCORE SEVENTY-EIGHTY, RAVENCLAW!" Dean Thomas's amplified voice rang through the stadium, though it was nearly drowned out by the sound of Gryffindors and others cheering and booing in the crowd.

So far the game had been little of a challenge to Harry. Cho was tailing him and blocking him as she normally did but he just ignored her and dove out of her way. He circled the pitch, squinting, and looking for any sign of the little Golden Snitch.

"JUST LOOK AT THOSE GRYFFINDOR CHASERS GO! POTTER'S DEFINITELY COME UP WITH THE PLAY TO BEAT THOSE RAVENCLAWS. WEASLEY ROLLS, DID YOU SEE THAT? I WAS TOLD IT TOOK A LITTLE BIT OF SPECIAL TRAINING FROM POTTER TO GET THAT RIGHT, THOUGH I'M SURE IT WASN'T ALL ABOUT THE TRAINING."

"Dean!" Professor McGonagall scolded.

Dean shrugged. "IT'S THE TRUTH."

Harry smirked as he completed another lap around the pitch. Some things never change, he thought as his eyes made a second sweep of the area.

"BELL SCORES, BRINGING THE SCORE TO EIGHTY-EIGHTY. IT'S ANYONE'S GAME NOW."

Not seeing the Snitch and getting aggravated that there was no real action yet, Harry thought of ways to trick Cho. He'd been working on his Wronski Feint and was dying to test it out in a game. He knew Cho most likely wouldn't go after him in the dive if she didn't see the Snitch.

Harry sighed and turned his head the other direction. But what if she saw the Snitch?

Harry saw the flash of gold hovering not even a mere five feet from the ground. He dove at once, disguising it as a feint. He could hear Cho make a comment behind him but didn't stop as he dove almost straight downwards to the Snitch. He heard a loud cuss and knew Cho had taken off.

Almost there, he thought. Just a little bit more...

At the last second the Snitch jumped above him, leaving Harry on a straight path for the ground. He swore and rolled over, narrowly avoiding a Bludger and the ground as he pulled himself up. Looking around and with a huff of fury he noted the Snitch was gone.

"LOOKS LIKE THE SNITCH HAS DISAPPEARED AGAIN. TOUGH LUCK HARRY!"

Professor McGonagall gave him a warning look that Dean seemed to shrivel under.

"SAME TO YOU, CHANG!"

Harry flew above the game again, half listening to the commentary.

"BELL SCORES! GRYFFINDOR LEADING ONE HUNDRED TO NINETY."

A sudden whooshing sound filled Harry's ears as a Bludger whizzed by his head. Harry ducked instinctively even though it had already passed. His eyes followed the path of the Bludger as it moved away slightly shocked he had let it get so close without noticing. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry could see one of the Ravenclaw Beaters grinning like mad.

And that's when he saw it.

Right behind the Beater was the fluttering golden ball that was unmistakably the Golden Snitch. Knowing Cho was distracted at the other end of the Pitch he didn't bother to try anything fancy to fake her out. He dove for the Snitch, flying like a madman and so fast he looked like a blur.

"POTTER HAS SEEN THE SNITCH!" Dean shouted out. "IT'S EITHER THAT OR HE'S GETTING READY TO PUMMEL THE POOR BLOKE WHO SHOT A BLUDGER AT HIS HEAD."

That statement got some laughs out of the cheering crowd. Hermione stood in the front row of the Gryffindors, laughing and cheering along with her fellow classmates. Her eyes flitted back and forth as she focused on her three closest friends in the game.

Ron, she knew, had been very nervous coming back out. Harry said he had improved a lot but somehow Hermione didn't think it was enough. He'd let 10 goals through now, allowing the score to become tied again. She'd heard Harry telling Ginny another pointer on how to get by Ravenclaw's strong offense and she figured that Ron might be a little intimidated by their strength.

Ginny hadn't been nervous at all. She'd been excited and anticipating the match for weeks, ever since Harry had worked on the roll with her. She flew with such gracefulness that it made Hermione envy her. She couldn't help but wonder if Ginny had picked up some of her skills from watching and playing with Harry so much, since he flew so naturally.

A large gasp went up through the crowd, jolting Hermione from her thoughts. She looked in the direction that many people were pointing and she screamed. Harry, having his broom hit by a Bludger, had been knocked off, and was now dangling by one hand. Cho was advancing on him rapidly, no doubt going for the Snitch that had stopped to hover right out of Harry's reach, as if taunting him.

The Bludger had hit his leg as well, Hermione could tell, because it hung at an odd angle. She hoped it hadn't broken any of his bones.

"AND WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT!" Dean was saying. "POTTER HAS BEEN KNOCKED CLEAN OFF HIS BROOM BY THAT BLUDGER. IT'S A NASTY HIT HIS BROOM TOOK, AND IT GRAZED HIS LEG AS WELL. CHANG IS ADVANCING TO THE SNITCH, WHICH IS RIGHT OUTSIDE POTTER'S GRASP. WAIT, WHAT'S THIS? POTTER IS KICKING THE SNITCH! THAT'S RIGHT POTTER IS KICKING THE SNITCH AWAY FROM CHANG'S REACH. CHANG SWERVES TO AVOID A COLLISION WITH HER TEAM'S BEATER. THERE GOES POTTER! HE'S SWUNG HIMSELF BACK UP ON HIS BROOM AND IS TEARING AFTER THE SNITCH. CHANG'S FOLLOWING AT AN ALARMINGLY FAST RATE..."

Harry kicked the ball away, knowing Cho had been about to grab it. Using the momentum he had gained from that he swung himself back onto his broom, ignoring the pain in his leg as it hit the side of the stick. His eyes found the Snitch and he raced after it, feeling the wind whip his hair around his head. Out of nowhere another Bludger came at him and Harry cursed because the Snitch was right there. He didn't slow down at all but went in to an impressive roll right as the Bludger would have connected with his head. His hand reached out and he felt his fingers close over the small struggling ball...

"THAT'S IT! POTTER HAS WON THE MATCH FOR GRYFFINDOR - TWO HUNDRED SEVENTY TO ONE TWENTY! EXCELLENT JOB TO BOTH TEAMS!"

Ginny was the first to reach him, hugging Harry tightly and planting a kiss on his lips. Katie and Kira reached him next, joining the hug. Ron flew over, clapping him on the back as Harry did the same to him. As Seamus and Andrew joined them they descended into the crowd of welcoming fans.

Hermione grabbed Ron and Harry in a tight hug and immediately started asking Harry if he was hurt.

"I'm fine!" Harry laughed. "My leg's a little sore but it's only a bruise, it'll heal on its own."

After another ten minutes, when everyone, including Luna had come up to congratulate them, Harry and Katie led the team back to the changing rooms, still glowing from their victory. They saw a man waiting in the shadows of the locker room. Telling the rest of the team to go inside, Harry and Katie walked up to him, just as he stepped out of the shadow.

"Oliver!" Katie cried, throwing her arms around her former teammate. "Did you see the match?"

Oliver Wood hugged her back and flashed Harry a toothy grin before outstretching his muscled arm and pulling him over. The former Gryffindor Keeper ruffled Harry's hair.

"Of course I saw the match," he replied. "Excellent Seeking, Harry. When our Seeker's contract is up in two years you should think about trying out for the spot on Puddlemere."

Harry gaped at him. "I didn't think I'd be good enough to go pro."

Oliver laughed. "Of course you're good enough. Just like I told you all those years ago, you have the perfect build for a Seeker, still do, and you're a natural." He turned his attention back to Katie. "The three of you girls as Chasers are amazing. Nearly as good as you were with Angelina and Alicia. Oh, and Harry, looks like one of them is your girlfriend?"

Harry blushed a little. "Yeah, Ginny, the redhead."

"A Weasley, no doubt," Wood commented.

Harry nodded and Katie cut in. "We wouldn't have been able to pull off that one play that Harry came up with if he hadn't worked on the roll with her. He's nearly as bad as you were, making her fall of her broom in practice until she felt comfortable with a long fall, knowing he would catch her -"

"Whoa, slow down Katie!" Wood said. "I'll meet you guys in the old common room, I have the password, and you can tell me all about it. Potter, your girl wants you."

Rolling his eyes, Harry walked off towards Ginny while Katie went to go change.

"Hey, you did great today," he said softly.

"So did you," she whispered back, slowly leaning forward to kiss him.

After a breathless minute Harry pulled back. "Let me change and I'll meet you out here.

"All right."

Needless to say, when Harry and Ginny returned to the Gryffindor Tower looking more disheveled than they had before, the party had been in full swing for quite some time.

~*~

It was just after their last training session before the holidays. Draco, Blaise, Orli, and Dumbledore had already left. Only Ginny and Harry remained.

"I'm sorry, Harry, but you have no choice. You're coming for Christmas," Ginny said forcefully.

Harry looked down, fiddling with the lace of his trainers. "I don't think it's such a good idea."

Ginny slid herself onto Harry's lap. "I think it is," she whispered.

Before he even knew what was happening Ginny was completely on top of him, kissing him with an almost desperate forcefulness that Harry had never felt from her before. Both of them felt a spark and emotions flooded through their connection. It only seemed to fuel the fire and soon both their shirts were off and Harry was working the clasp of Ginny's bra...

"He's really depressed over you, Sirius," Lily said as she took the mugs of tea over to the table. "I mean just look at him."

Sirius did, leaning back to look behind Lily, then smirked as he pulled back.

"He looks pretty good to me, Lils. Take a closer look."

Confused, Lily set the mugs down and turned towards the window just as James walked into the room. Lily's eyes widened in shock as she watched Ginny push Harry back into the grass. James came up to the window as Harry pulled off Ginny's shirt.

"Takes after me well, don't you think?" he commented, turning away.

Lily stood transfixed. "They're going to have sex! He's only 16! Sirius, how old did you say Ginny was?"

"Fifteen," Sirius said nonchalantly. "Really, Lily, you and James were only seventeen when you first did it. Harry's a responsible person, he's not going to let anything get out of hand."

Ginny's bra joined the pile of tops on the ground.

"This is the sixth time I've seen them going at it this month! They weren't like this before!"

"Lily, dear, calm down," James said. "Whatever our son is doing is a private matter. Step away from the window."

Hesitantly Lily began to back off. However, as soon as she heard voices she was right back there.

"So, coming for Christmas now?" Ginny asked sweetly as they broke apart.

Harry's laughter filled the room. "I suppose I am," he said, leaning down to give her a passionate kiss.

"Think if we just stayed here anyone would notice?" Ginny said breathlessly as Harry released her lips.

"Ginny, this is me we're talking about. Dumbledore's probably rounding up the Order as we speak."

Harry bit his lip and looked away after he said that.

"Harry it's not your fault, everyone knows that, even Sirius," Ginny said, her hand cradling his cheek.

Sirius's attention snapped to the window at those words.

"If I had just remembered about the mirror," Harry said quietly.

"It's all the more reason to go back, Harry. Remus is going to need someone to talk to and I've heard Tonks isn't doing so well either. Please, Harry, as soon as we're done with our part of the plan I'm going back home. Come with me."

"I... I'll go."

Lily turned away from the mirror with tears shining in her eyes. James hugged Lily tightly to him as she started to cry. Sirius couldn't take his eyes off the window. He knew he needed to have a talk with Harry.

Harry bit his lip and turned away. The feelings of depression swarmed him again as he thought about the Order. If he hadn't been so stupid back in June then Sirius would still be alive. Ginny saw that he looked as if he needed to cry but couldn't, as there were no tears left to shed.

"Harry, it's not your fault," Ginny said, sensing the problem. "Everyone knows that, even Sirius," she added as her hand came up to cradle his cheek.

Harry turned back to her, tears nearly falling from his eyes. "If I had just remembered about the mirror..."

"It's all the more reason to go back, Harry. Remus is going to need someone to talk to and I've heard Tonks isn't doing so well either. Please, Harry, as soon as we're done with our part of the plan I'm going home. Come with me."

Harry bit his lip again and buried his face between her neck and shoulder as a single tear escaped and rolled down his cheek. Ginny's free hand came up to massage his head as he tried to stop the tears from coming. Surprising herself, Ginny was able to keep her mind on Harry's troubles and not on his well-toned body.

"I... I'll go."

It began sprinkling rain on the pair as Harry removed his head. The rain felt good on his sweaty back, but he could tell Ginny didn't like it.

"Sorry," he said. "It's the accidental magic."

"It's all right. Hand me my bra and shirt so we can go."

Two minutes later the rain had ceased and Harry and Ginny walked out of the room hand in hand, fully dressed.

~*~

It was the night before the winter holidays started and everyone was nervous and on edge. Ginny, Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat eating dinner at the Gryffindor table. More of Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were eating and Harry was catching up on missed sleep as his full plate was pushed aside. His chin rested on his hand while his elbow as propped up on the table. Hermione wanted to get him to eat. In the near week they hadn't been talking she was studying Harry more and more. Before she had been so engrossed in other things she hadn't noticed Harry wasn't eating much or in some cases nothing at all.

Her mind flashed back to the night of the Halloween feast. She remembered her, Ron, and Ginny forcing Harry to eat everything that was on his plate, then filling it back up and making him eat the rest of it. Just a year ago he probably would have been eating more than that. After dinner Hermione remembered feeling horrible as she, Ginny, and Ron stood outside the door to the bathroom in the boy's dorm, unable to block out the sounds of Harry's vomiting for fifteen minutes.

This made Hermione wonder, not for the first time, if Harry had the beginning stages of anorexia. She'd looked up the disease in a book and found that depression could sometimes trigger it. If Harry was anything these days it was depressed. The Dementor attack on Hogsmeade had weakened him and he hadn't been the same since. He seemed to have lost all interest in training after that.

Just like the previous year they had all noticed he spent a lot of time staring at the common room fire, as if waiting for Sirius's head to pop out. The holiday season brought Harry's depression over Sirius back to the surface but Hermione couldn't figure out why; no one could.

"Harry..." she started.

He ignored her, keeping his eyes closed. This attracted Ginny's attention as she put her fork down and looked towards her boyfriend.

"Harry, go upstairs and get some rest, you look horrible," she said.

Harry blearily opened his eyes in response. All three of the others looked at him with concern, noticing he looked sickly. Anorexia or not, he still looked ill, and it made Hermione worry.

"I feel horrible," Harry sighed. "But Dumbledore-"

Suddenly Harry's hand flew up to his scar and he doubled over in pain.

"Harry!" Ron said in alarm, dropping his fork to his plate and reaching out for his friend.

Harry fell against Ginny and she could feel the heat his scar was emitting. He let out a low moan and then went quiet as his scar flashed dangerously once his hand dropped limply from it. Hermione gasped in shock as Harry's eyes opened blazing, as the green faded to a brilliant red. He glared at her and hissed. Then he stood up and looked around to the Slytherin table. In a loud voice that was definitely not Harry's, he spoke.

"Enjoy your last, Malfoy!"

Draco, who had been watching Harry the entire time, seemed to figure out what was happening just then. He started to calm Blaise and fill her in on what was happening since she was too shocked to have it register in her mind. Draco was forgotten as Harry turned towards the head table and was met with Dumbledore's furious face. He cackled loudly.

"You're an old fool, Albus."

Several students gasped at hearing who they thought was Harry address the Headmaster in such a manner.

"You've had your time at Hogwarts, Tom," Dumbledore stated. "Now get out of Harry before I force you."

"You've not heard the last of me!" Voldemort bellowed through Harry.

The rest seemed to happen in slow motion as the entire school stood to watch. Harry's eyes changed back to emerald green as he crumbled to the ground, the entire school staring and only a few knowing the truth.

~*~

When Harry came to he found himself lying on a plush red couch. He moaned softly as he felt the intense pain in his head. The voices and footsteps around him weren't helping one bit. Harry felt bile rising in his throat and he vomited over the side of the couch. This attracted the attention of everyone in the room. In seconds they were over at his side, though Harry couldn't really tell who it was. Not being able to find his contacts that morning Harry had grabbed his glasses, but now, looking at the blurred faces in front of him, he realized his glasses were gone as well. As the people moved Harry felt dizzy and another bout of bile escaped his mouth.

He felt the cool metal of his glasses being slipped on his nose and everybody came back into focus with a painful clarity that made his head spin. He groaned and rolled over, trying to shield the light from his eyes.

"What's going on?" Harry asked.

He saw Ginny and Hermione reach down and hug him at the same time. Confused he waited until they got off him to ask again.

"Ah!" he cried suddenly, as Ginny forced pressure on his side.

Quickly the two girls scrambled off him. Hermione rolled up his sleeve but couldn't get past his elbow. Swatting her hand away Harry sat up and unbuttoned his shirt, sliding the right side off, and ran a hand through his hair at what he saw.

The entire upper part of his arm was slightly burned and bruised. Now he was really confused. What the hell happened? I can't remember a thing.

"What happened?" Harry asked again, more forcefully this time.

"You were possessed, Harry," Professor Dumbledore said quietly. "Lord Voldemort possessed you in the Great Hall."

Harry let his head fall back onto the arm of the couch. He felt an overwhelming urge to leave. He couldn't take it anymore; he couldn't stand being at Hogwarts. Harry couldn't stand the constant watching over him and Voldemort's plagues. He just wanted to run away from it all; from everyone who thought he was insane from the possession, from the questioning glances, and the hushed whispers.

"Harry, I-" Professor Dumbledore started.

"Just spare me the details and the pity," Harry said. "I just want to go ho-" he broke off realizing he didn't have a true home to go back to. "I just want to leave here and not come back."

"He doesn't know what he's saying, Professor. He's just in shock," Hermione said.

Harry shot her a glare. "I know exactly what I'm saying so you might as well shut up," he snapped.

A hurt look came over Hermione's face as she moved away from him and into Ron's arms. Ginny gave him a scornful look and Draco, surprisingly, wasn't smirking.

"Arrangements can be made, Harry," the Headmaster continued and was immediately met with protests.

"Foolish, Albus-"

"Professor, surely you wouldn't-"

"We need Harry here for tomorrow!" Ginny cried, her voice breaking through the others.

Many confused stares were directed at her and Ginny flushed at her outburst. Blaise shifted uncomfortably as Harry squirmed on the couch. Draco looked grave though slightly bored with the conversation as if it were all theatrics.

"You and Orli can go to the Pitch without Harry, Ginny. I'm sure he isn't needed to show Orli a few broom tricks," Dumbledore said in a placating but forceful manner, leaving no room for argument.

Harry touched Ginny's arm lightly. "Let me leave, Gin. You'll be able to handle everything."

Ginny's hand grasped his and Harry felt the now familiar jolt of a spark. Instantly all of Ginny's emotions and fears began to flow through the connection, overwhelming him. He heard his heart begin to race at the intensity of her fears. He felt himself go lightheaded and dizzy. Harry didn't even notice his hand was shaking as a silver object was blown up and the pieces went flying to the floor. His entire body was overheated and Harry could feel his pulse beginning to throb out of control.

"Ginny," he gasped breathlessly.

Bewildered, she dropped his hand. Clutching his wildly racing heart, Harry panted. He was sitting with the upper half of his body leaning over the edge of the couch, bent over in pain. He looked at Ginny with a sudden intensity that made her wonder what had just happened. She hadn't felt or thought a thing.

"Get me out of here," Harry said, only partially having regained his breath.

The rest of the room's occupants, looking just as bewildered as Ginny, glanced between Dumbledore and Harry.

"All right, Harry. Let's get you out of here."

Harry clambered to his feet, stumbling from the couch before nearly crashing into a chair. He blinked his eyes blearily. Dumbledore summoned an old quill, transfiguring it into a Portkey before everyone's eyes.

"Come, Harry, Remus. I'll be returning here shortly," he addressed the group.

Not ten seconds later Harry, Dumbledore, and Remus were whisked away from the castle.

~~**~~