An American Professor

Before Erin knew it Christmas break was over and they were starting February. Erin had rung in the New Year with her fellow Gryffindors. Much to her amusement both Weasley twins had kissed her on either cheek at midnight. Not so amusing, but rather exciting, Ron had actually kissed Hermione at midnight. And, while the other Weasley’s had been occupied, Harry and Ginny had snuck a quick kiss. Harry definitely didn’t need any more advice from Erin concerning whether Ginny liked him or not.

Erin never told anyone about Harry and Ron discovering her on Christmas night. She’d found out that they’d left after she’d been taken to the Hospital Wing, but not before they’d had a little fun with Filch. Erin didn’t ask them what they meant by that, she also never asked about the cloak or the reason they were wandering the hall. They never asked why Malfoy had beaten her so badly and taken blood from her. It seemed to be an unwritten understanding between the three not to talk about that night ever again.

Having heard from Charlie several times since their failed date in late November, Erin felt that they were really becoming friends. His letters were nice enough, but lacking in romance in every way. At this time, Erin felt that it was better that way as she just wasn’t sure how to feel about him, but she kept in touch despite her confusion.

Sirius had not been in touch since his departure. Erin tried not to think about him as it depressed her far too much. Each time the mail came she’d hold her breath hoping he’d send a note saying how he was doing. Each day, she felt a twinge of disappointment, as she was left wanting for some word from him.

Snape was back to tormenting and berating students. Even Erin found herself cringing at him during class, at times. They still met from time to time so that she could work ahead, but in public they resumed an indifferent and at times negative (as in potions class) air towards one another.

She was back to her old habits of teaching, learning, running, and studying incessantly. Using her wireless every evening, Erin was still set on finishing up school as soon as possible and would study during every spare moment. Of all of her Christmas presents, she got the most use out of the wireless.

The day before Valentine’s Day, much to Erin’s chagrin a notice appeared in the Daily Prophet asking that suitors not send Erin valentines as she was still sifting through her birthday mail. The notice was signed 'Staff of Hogwarts'. Erin felt quite embarrassed by the seeming arrogance of the announcement, but Dumbledore assured her it was for the best. Erin secretly wondered if Severus was behind it, but he would change the subject each time she brought it up, eventually causing her to forget about obtaining a straight answer.

To make matters worse, Dumbledore made an announcement at dinner that students should feel free to send one another valentines, but should refrain from giving any to professors. He thanked the students for their cooperation. Being certain that he was referring to her, and as the room turned to stare at her, Erin wished that the floor would open up and swallow her.

The following day Erin dressed in black to protest Valentine’s Day. Arriving in the Great Hall, she found a red rose on her plate. There was no note, just the rose. Hagrid, Snape, and Flitwick all denied leaving it, saying it had been there when they arrived for breakfast.

Erin was distracted from pursuing her questioning when owls came swooping towards her. She caught a box of Favorite-Flavored chocolates, and two valentines. The chocolates were from Snape, she realized in surprise. When she looked at him he was blushing slightly, so she simply gave him a squeeze on the knee in thanks, and slipped them into her shoulder bag.

One of the valentines was from Gilderoy Lockhart. Erin rolled her eyes as she read,

I know the advertisement said not to send valentines, but I just knew that didn’t include me. I’m still waiting for your response to your birthday presents. I figure you’re shy, but you don’t have to be shy around me. I’m the greatest love of your life. You’re probably wondering how someone so handsome and charming could possibly be interested in you, but from what I’ve seen you’re just about as beautiful as I am. I’m glad that I chose you as the witch to whom I have bestowed the honor of being my one and only Valentine this year. Hugs and Kisses, Gilderoy.

Handing the card to Snape she muttered, “He certainly does have a high opinion of himself. I swear he’s a fruitcake, and,” motioning with her fingers, “this close to being a stalker.”

Snape chuckled at her comment and groaned as he read the valentine. “You might just have a case. He’s definitely a nutter. At least he never seems to miss an opportunity to pay himself a compliment.”

Erin nodded curtly for the benefit of their audience. Namely she kept a straight face because of Lucius’ son, Draco. Reaching for her other valentine she found it was from Charlie. Surprisingly, when she stole a glance at the Gryffindor table all four pairs of Weasley eyes were on her. Ah, they know he’s been writing, she realized, giving them a collective wink. Smiling, they resumed their conversations.

Ripping open the card, she read it quickly.

Hi Erin. Happy Valentine’s Day! I won’t ask that you be my Valentine, as we’re so far away. Besides, it’d hurt Hildy’s feelings if she knew she had competition. (Hildy was the Common Welsh Green he’d been working with. Most of their previous letters revolved around her, as she was a safe topic of conversation.) Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you, and I hope you have a brilliant day. Give my regards to my brothers and sister, as I’m sure they’re watching you read this. Take care, and Happy Valentine’s Day! Love, Charlie.

Staring at the valentine for a moment, she realized what was bothering her about it. Love? He’d never signed his letters ‘Love’ before. What did that mean? Erin’s face flushed and she looked at the Gryffindor table again. The Weasley’s were indeed watching her. Smiling at them weakly, she put the valentine in her bag, and finished her breakfast quickly.

Gathering her bag and the rose, she headed for class. The day passed quickly and uneventfully. After dinner, Erin decided to forgo her run for a hot bath.

Lighting just enough candles to cast a warm glow through the bathroom she snuffed out the wall sconces and drew a raspberry scented bubble bath thick with foam. Before getting in, she knotted her hair on her head, and then sank into the warm water. The water came up to her shoulders and she leaned back to forget the day. Erin was about as relaxed as she could be without falling asleep, when a voice called out, “Erin?” from the open door.

“Holy shit, who’s there?” she asked frantically.

“It’s just me.”

“Who the hell is me?” she snapped as Sirius stepped into view. “Oh my God! Sirius!”

He smiled weakly. “Hey there.”

“Give me a minute, and I’ll be right with you.”

“Ok, I’m waiting,” he smiled, standing still.

“Go in there,” she gestured to the sitting room, “ and wait for me.”

“Alright, alright. Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

Waiting until the door shut firmly behind him, she rose from the tub and pulled on her blue terry cloth bathrobe and slippers. Rushing into the sitting room, she sat down on the couch next to him and put her arms around him sideways.

“No, no, that won’t do, I need a proper hug,” and with that he stood and pulled her to her feet. She needed no further prompting as her arms went around his shoulders and his around her waist. “I’ve wanted to hold you like this since I left.” Erin couldn’t answer, but tears spilled down her cheeks. “Why are you crying?”

“I’ve-I’ve been so worried about you. I’m just really happy to see you.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he whispered.

Realization dawning on her she asked, “The rose?”

“Yep.”

“Oh, Sirius,” and she hugged him even closer.

“You’re shivering. Why don’t you go get dressed, and I’ll take a quick shower. Do you still have those extra clothes?”

Erin nodded and left his embrace reluctantly to retrieve the clothes. He met her in the bathroom and took the clothes from her with a quick kiss on the cheek. Changing quickly into her black running pants, a comfortable t-shirt, and warm socks, Erin sat on the edge of her bed to wait for him to finish showering.

He seemed to be taking longer than usual, and when he was finally finished there didn’t seem to be as much steam as usual. He beckoned for her to go back with him to the sitting room, and she asked, “Sirius, did I use up all of the hot water?”

“No, sweetheart, it’s nothing like that.”

Erin lost her line of questioning as Sirius seated himself in an armchair and pulled Erin into his lap, and started a new set. “Are you feeling ok? Have you eaten?”

“You forget, I’ve been here all day. I’ve just been with Dumbledore, so yes, I’m well fed.”

Erin rested her head on his shoulder and laced her fingers through his. “You meant to take a cold shower, huh?”

“Erin, do you have to know everything?”

Leaning back she looked up at him with a slight smile. “ I want to know everything. There’s definitely a difference.”

He laughed. He reached up to tuck a tendril of hair that had come loose from the knot in her hair behind her ear. Erin sighed as his fingertips brushed her cheek. Sirius seemed not to notice the effect his touch had had on her and instead asked, “How are you?”

Trying to answer noncommittally, she responded, “I’m fine.”

“I heard about Christmas night.”

Erin felt her face drain of color, while wondering how much he knew. “Oh?”

“You know, about Malfoy breaking in and hurting you. Has anything more happened?”

“No. There’s been no contact of any sort.” Erin extracted herself from Sirius’ lap and went to stand by the fire.

“Why were you meeting Snape?”

Hearing the bitterness and resentment in his voice she responded carefully. “He’s my friend and he said he needed to talk to me.”

“How can you call that slimy git your friend after what he did to you?” he thundered.

Erin looked at him feeling completely confused. “What are you talking about?”

“You know about him, uh, you know, violating you.”

Staring at him dumbfounded, “Severus never violated me. Where did you hear that?”

Sirius sighed exasperatedly. “Erin, I heard all about it when you faced Voldemort, remember?”

Erin slapped her hand to her forehead. “Oh my God! I forgot you were there. Sirius, that was all a big trick. Severus didn’t rape me. We were pretending for our audience of Death Eaters. It was expected by Voldemort that he should, but of course he didn’t, he couldn't ever do that! How could you even think that, Sirius?”

“Well, to be honest, I don’t have much use for the git.”

“I think you need to put personal feelings aside.”

“Don’t hold your breath on that.” He was silent for a minute before asking, “And you didn’t know he wasn’t who he said he was?”

“No, Sirius, I knew it was Malfoy, I just though it would be fun to get the shit kicked out of me.” She wasn’t concerned about being careful when responding; at this point she was just pissed off.

Sirius was equally upset. “Erin don’t get snippy. You just have to be more careful.”

Erin turned from the fire and the fire now glowed within her eyes. “How dare you lecture me about being careful when you go out on your crazy missions. You could be killed at anytime and nobody would be the wiser.” And most people wouldn’t even care, she added silently. Choking back a sob she was furious with herself for almost crying. Folding her arms across her chest, she glared at him.

He sighed and slumped down in his chair. “Erin, please don’t start.”

“I didn’t start, you did,” she snapped her eyes glowing from anger.

“I just worry about you when I’m not here to look out for you.”

“I’m twenty-five years old, and fully capable of taking care of myself.” She resolved herself not to budge an inch.

Sirius stood and walked towards her. “Erin, I know how old you are, I guess it’s just a man thing to protect those they care about.” He reached out and ran his hand down her arm tentatively. Giving her a puppy dog face, he asked, “Am I forgiven yet?”

Throwing her arms to the side, she refused to smile. “Sirius…” she began.

He interrupted quickly and his voice contained an ounce of desperation. “Erin, please. I’m sorry. I just get so upset when I think about Malfoy putting his hands on you, again, threatening you, again, and still there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it.”

It seemed to dawn on Erin suddenly. He wasn’t trying to be rude; he was upset because he felt powerless. Erin reached out and touched his cheek. “I understand, Sirius. I hate not being in control, it’s scary and frustrating all at once. I forgive you, and I’m sorry, too.”

In response he pulled her into a hug that was so tight she could have cracked a rib. He let go slowly and took her hand in his. Pulling her to the couch, she sat down next to him, so close their legs were pressed together. His arm around her shoulders, he still held her other hand with his. “You know what the thing that kept me going this time was?” He answered his own question before she could respond, “coming back here, looking in your stunning eyes, and finishing that kiss we started.”

Erin smiled softly, and in a silky voice answered, “Well, wait no more.”

He leaned in and captured her lips in his for a gentle kiss. Erin sighed as her body melted into his. His arm moved down her back and his hand released hers to cup the back of her head, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. When his tongue entered her mouth, Erin’s body responded with electric shocks shooting clear to her toes. She pulled herself into his lap and ran her fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck. He rubbed his hands up and down her back sending endless tingles up her spine.

They continued to kiss and Erin’s other hand rubbed his shoulder, feeling the muscles respond under her touch. Sirius had placed his hand gently on one of her knees, now that hand had slid from her knee up her thigh, and his touch seemed to sear her skin even through her pants. Erin pulled away and leaned her forehead to his. “Whoa,” she whispered.

He smiled and pecked at her lips. “Is that a stop, ‘Whoa’ or a wow, ‘Whoa’?”

In response, Erin laughed and grabbed his hand simultaneously lying back on the couch while pulling him on top of her. “Erin,” he groaned before covering her mouth with his and kissing her thoroughly.

“What in the hell is going on here? Get off of her!” Snape yelled from his position in Erin’s fireplace.

Erin shrieked and Sirius jumped to his feet. “Who the hell do you think you are? Get your bloody head out of that fireplace!” Sirius yelled.

“I’m sorry to have disturbed your snog fest,” he didn’t sound the least bit sorry, “but I do have very important information, if you’re able to tear yourselves away.”

Erin, who had sat in shock staring at him, piped up, “What’s the information?”

“Harry’s been kidnapped by Death Eaters.”

“Oh, shit!” Sirius exclaimed and rushed into the other room to gather his things.

“Why should we believe you?” Erin asked Snape calmly.

Snape sneered at her and replied, “E.T.” and disappeared with a pop.

“Oh my God!” Erin cried and stood up to pace. “Sirius, what do we do?”

He came back to the room with his things. “We will do nothing. You will stay her and try to stay calm, while I go to Dumbledore to see what I am to do.

“No, I’m coming, too.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Dammit Sirius, you’re not my father, you’re not my brother, hell you’re not even my boyfriend, you cannot tell me what to do. We don’t have time to argue. I’m going too.” With that she stomped out of the room, while he changed into his dog form and followed. Erin walked quickly to Dumbledore’s office with Sirius hot on her heels. The entrance was already open and she ran up the flights of stairs and burst into his office.

Snape was already there and looked surprised to see her while Dumbledore acted as if he’d been expecting her. Snape’s surprise turned to anger as Sirius turned back to human form. “Why the hell did you bring her, Black?”

“Severus, I was not brought. I invited myself. Now, will someone please tell us what is going on?”

“Harry’s been kidnapped,” Snape repeated.

“Yes, yes. I got that part, what I want to know is how did it happen, what do they want, and how do we get him back?!” Erin snapped.

Dumbledore sighed and held up a hand to halt a nasty retort from Snape. “All that we know we’ve heard from Ginny Weasley as she was with Harry when it happened,” Dumbledore began.

“Funny thing about those Weasley’s and Death Eaters,” Snape sneered.

Erin shot him a look before asking, “And?”

“They left a note pinned to her after they stunned her. Apparently, the two were meeting for an exchange of valentines and began, uh…” Dumbledore trailed off and Snape jumped in.

“They were snogging. Apparently you are familiar with the concept, Erin?”

“Shut up,” Erin growled but blushed anyway much to her chagrin.

“The note, what did it say?” Sirius pressed.

“Well, that’s the difficult part, it didn't say much, except that it indicated that Harry is of quite a bit of interest to Voldemort, but this time it’s Erin he wants.”

Erin felt dizzy and began to sway. Snape caught her arm to steady her, while Sirius looked at him with annoyance. She asked carefully, “So, the blood test?”

“I don’t know. It didn’t say. That’s where Sirius and Severus come in.”

Feeling the blood again leaving her face, Erin moved to sit in a chair. “Professor Dumbledore, if its me he wants then lets negotiate the trade.”

“No!” Sirius and Severus cried out simultaneously. They looked at each other disgusted before Severus spoke again, “What I mean is that there has to be another way.”

“He’s right, Professor Dumbledore, that’s ludicrous,” Sirius agreed solemnly.

“My idea is not ludicrous! He’s fifteen years old! And I don’t hear either of you coming up with a better idea.”

“Erin, quit trying to be brave and act like a martyr.”

“Oh, shut the hell up, Severus.”

“Erin...”

“You shut up too, kibble breath.”

Sirius’ face twisted in anger. “You weren’t calling me kibble breath twenty minutes ago.”

“You weren’t calling me ludicrous twenty minutes ago.”

“I wasn’t calling you ludicrous now, just your idea!”

For lack of a better comment, Erin yelled, “Oh, just shut up!” Standing up quickly she began to pace across the room gesturing violently. “Think about it this way. Harry’s in danger right now. All that they are asking for is a trade; me for him. If Sirius and Severus go after Harry, then that’s two more people putting themselves in danger needlessly. Negotiating the trade makes the most sense.”

“Just because we trade you for him, doesn’t mean they’ll actually give him up. You don’t understand, they have no honor. Quit thinking that they play by the rules. God, you’re infuriating!” Snape snapped.

“And you’re an asshole!” she yelled back.

“Enough,” Dumbledore spoke quietly, and all three turned to him. “How will any of you effectively help Harry if you can’t even be civil to one another?”

Erin felt ashamed. She stared at the floor and shifted from one foot to the other uncomfortably.

“Sorry, Professor,” Sirius murmured.

“I’m sorry, Albus,” Severus echoed.

“Me too,” Erin agreed.

“Ah, no need to apologize to me. You should apologize to one another.” When none of them spoke, Dumbledore pressed on, “Well miracles don’t happen overnight. Erin, we will not be trading you for Harry. As Severus said, it is too risky. Severus and Sirius will work on getting him back.”

“But Professor,” Erin protested.

“Erin, this is not open to discussion.”

“May I please finish? If Severus helps Harry escape, won’t it be pretty obvious that he also helped me to escape? Then his cover would be completely blown.” They were silent so she continued, “And how will Sirius get close to them? Pettigrew knows he’s an animagus, and Voldemort saw him in his dog form with me.” Having made her point known, Erin sat back down with a sigh.

Dumbledore’s typically stoic face was concerned. “Professor, don’t listen to her. We’ll be fine. We’ve been working together on this for awhile. Voldemort couldn’t know that I was the black dog with her, and I’ve been spying on them in my animagus form all this time. We’ll find a way,” Sirius concluded.

Erin exploded, “What’s wrong with you? Are you devoid of all intelligence?! Haven’t you been listening to anything I’ve said?”

Sirius turned back to her. “Erin, I’ve heard everything you’ve said, how could I not have heard? You’ve been screaming! I’m afraid it’s you who haven’t been listening. Severus and I are fully capable of taking care of this. Harry’s my godson. I’m the closest thing to a father he has. He’s the closest thing to a son I have.” He seemed to be struggling to keep his voice even and move past a lump in his throat. “There’s nothing in the world that could keep me from going to him right now.”

The tears she’d been holding back began to spill down her cheeks. “I understand, Sirius. Of course you have to go,” then turning to Severus she asked, “but why do you have to?”

Snape looked at Erin for a long while seemingly unable to answer. Erin stood and stepped towards him, and he stepped back. “Professor Dumbledore,” she began not taking her eyes from Snape, “I think we can tell from what Malfoy said on Christmas night that Voldemort is questioning Severus’ loyalty. And,” she continued, “have you been ‘called’ since then?” Snape shook his head unable to turn away from her. “That’s what I thought. My point is that if Severus returns now, after almost two months, right after Harry is kidnapped, wouldn’t that seem pretty coincidental?”

Dumbledore was nodding thoughtfully. “She might just be right, Severus. Perhaps, we should let Sirius do the initial scouting and just see where that takes us.” Snape again nodded dumbly unable to look away from Erin’s gaze.

Turning away from his gaze, Erin realized that Sirius was staring at her intently as well. Her tears began anew. Dumbledore cleared his throat. “Severus, let’s go check the corridor.” Snape dropped his head and left the room with Dumbledore.

Sirius stepped towards her, reaching for her hand. Erin felt an invisible force lifting her arms to put her hand in his. Her body felt like lead, and she was rooted to the floor. Not waiting for her to come to him, Sirius wrapped her in a bone-crushing hug.

She knew she needed to push her anger aside. Erin couldn’t imagine how she would feel if he left on these bad terms and something happened to him. Finding her voice she choked out, “Please be careful.”

“I will.” He pulled back, holding her at arm’s length. “Erin, I l-”

“No!” she cried out, “Don’t say it! Please don’t say it.”

“But I want to tell you-”

She interrupted again, “I can’t hear it and bear for you to leave. Besides, I’m not sure I can say it back, and I don’t want to do that to you.”

He stepped away, his eyes darkened, and a wall seemed to have been built between them. “Too late, you’ve said enough,” he answered bitterly.

“Sirius, don’t leave like this!”

“I have to. Good-bye, Erin.”

He changed to a dog, and ran from the room. “No! It’s not good-bye it’s see you soon!” she wailed. Collapsing to the floor she cried out again, “it’s see you soon!” Putting her head in her hands she repeated more softly her voice full of anguish, “it’s see you soon.” Wrapping her arms around her bent knees she rocked herself back and forth while crying until she had no more tears left to cry.