An American Professor

Erin went back to her rooms, and was doing much better. The next day, Dumbledore came by under the pretense of some idle chitchat. He told her about Mad-Eye Moody (the real one) filling in the Defense Against the Dark Arts spot until the next year. He also caught her up on the teacher gossip. Apparently, Professor Sprout was working on cultivating a new plant, but was having trouble. Erin only half-listened, as Herbology was just about her least favorite subject.

Dumbledore asked Erin about the black dog and Erin told him that he'd been in her rooms the previous day upon her arrival, but that he was gone when she woke up that morning. She wasn't sure how he was getting in and out, but she also hadn't given it much thought. She had noticed that he smelled much better, and she was grateful to whatever house elf had forced him into the bathtub.

Erin knew that Dumbledore had visited her for more reasons than to check on her recovery. She knew she had to tell him what had happened to her. Before she could stop herself she blurted out all the gory details.

Dumbledore sat quietly for a few moments, and Erin worried that she'd shocked him badly. Finally he asked, "Erin, did Severus rape you? Please tell me the truth."

"No, of course he didn't! We pretended, as it was what Voldemort wanted. I think I said something to Voldemort about it when I was trying to get him to let me go, but no, it didn't actually happen."

"Good. That certainly comes as a relief."

"Do we know who stopped him from uttering the killing curse the second time?"

"Hagrid. He shot him in the wand arm with his crossbow."

"Good for him. I hope it hurt like hell. Sorry," she added.

"Don't be. Many noble individuals wish him ill."

"He's a total bastard, but I must admit, it goes against my character."

"Ah, but under the circumstances, I think it's forgivable."

Erin sat silently for several moments before asking, "Do you think it's true about Voldemort being my father? And Dumbledore, do you believe that I won't be evil as well. If I am his daughter, I mean."

"I believe that evil is learned, not born. You are not evil at this point in your life, and I doubt that you will ever become evil. And, I'm not so sure I believe that you are his daughter."

"I guess I can only hope. Do you think it's really that simple?"

"Definitely."

The dog returned to the room, and they ended their conversation. Erin smiled at him, and put her hand out to rub his back. "I don't know what I'd do without this dog. He's been my constant companion since he found me in the woods. I wonder if I would even be here if it weren't for him."

"Well, it seems pretty certain that he wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."

"What kind of evil person would want to harm an innocent animal?" Erin didn't need an answer and Dumbledore didn't supply one. Erin sat contentedly staring out the window and scratching the dog. Sighing deeply, she looked at Dumbledore, "He's great to talk to, you know. He's very forgiving, you can rant and rave, and he actually seems to be listening. The worst part is that he can't talk to me." Dumbledore chuckled slightly and Erin tore her eyes from the window to look at him. "Is Severus doing ok? Did you let him go back to work?"

"Yes, he's back in his Potions dungeon. He's taking out his foul mood on the students, so, yes, he's quite fine."

Erin snickered, "I wouldn't expect anything less from him."

"Well, I'd better be going." He looked at the dog, "Take care of her." He leaned down and whispered, "I think she can handle it."

Erin looked at Dumbledore surprised. "Handle what?" Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling as he winked at her and left the room.

"What was that about?" she asked the dog. He looked as if he winked at her. Erin blinked several times and stared hard at him for a moment. I must have imagined that, she reasoned.

The dog backed into the center of the room and she watched him curiously. Before her eyes, the dog transformed into a man. "Don't scream," he pleaded. Her eyes widened and she tried to find her voice, but not a single sound would come out. Instead, she did something that she seemed to be doing way too much lately; she fainted onto the bed.

Erin came to after a few minutes. The man was still in her room. She blinked and he was still there. She jumped to her feet and demanded, "OK, who are you? What in the hell is going on here?"

"I'm the dog."

"I realize that! What I mean is who the hell are you really?" she spat.

"My name is Sirius Black. You may have heard of me?" Erin tried to read his face, he looked worried, and she knew she'd heard the name, but for the life of her she couldn't place it. She shook her head in response without taking her eyes off of him. "I'm Harry's godfather."

"Oh!" she put her hand to her mouth, "I do remember him saying something about his godfather, but aren't you a fugitive?"

His face darkened, "Ah, so you've heard?"

"Well, yes, but I've heard Harry's account of what really happened."

"So, do you believe him?"

"Is that important to you?"

"Yes."

"Well, at first, I was skeptical, it does require quite a leap of faith, but Harry was so adamant that I of course believed him." They were silent for a few moments and Erin took the time to regard the man carefully. "How can I be sure you are Sirius Black? I've had a pretty bad scare, as you know, with someone I thought was Charlie Weasley."

"How would you like me to prove it?"

"Does anyone else know you are here? I mean, does Dumbledore know you're an animagus?"

"Yes, he knows," he said uncertainly.

"And he's been letting you stay in my room? A strange man! In my room! What kind of place is this?!" she raged pacing back and forth.

"Will you please calm down? I don't want someone coming in here. I am, as you said, a fugitive after all. I owe you my life, and Dumbledore knows this. He trusts me. He knows me. You know me, you just don't realize you do. I'm the same as I was as an animal, only I'm not an animal."

His speech struck her and she stared at him for a few moments. Sitting down on the bed, she kept her eyes on him and then softly said, "You're right, I do know you. I'm just being foolish. I'm sorry for yelling."

He rushed to her and knelt in front of her and took her hands in his. "No, I'm sorry. I have an idea about what you've been through, and I shouldn't have expected you to just be immediately OK with finding out a dog is really a man."

Erin regarded his light blue eyes carefully. They really were the same color as the dog's. She could almost see his face as that of the dog's. She whispered, "It's really you?"

"Yes, do you want to see me change back?" Erin nodded dumbly, and he stood up and stepped back, and he was a dog and then back to a man again.

"Amazing," she said in shock.

He gave her a half smile, "You're the amazing one. You risked your life for me. You dove in front of an animal to save it."

She shrugged, "You didn't deserve to die. It was me he wanted. I wouldn't want a defenseless creature to die because he wanted me."

He nodded as if understanding she was going to remain modest, and they sat in silence, until he murmured the words she dreaded hearing, "I owe you my life. In the Wizarding world that means a lot."

"Well, I don't like that you feel that way. You don't owe me anything."

He looked at her for a long time, but she refused to look at him. "So, is this the stubborn streak Dumbledore was talking about?" he asked with a chuckle.

Erin felt her ire rise and looked at him with fire in her eyes, but she realized he was teasing her a little, and she chuckled in spite of herself, "I guess I am a bit stubborn," she conceded.

"A bit?"

"Hey, don't push it, funny man."

He laughed and she saw the smile reach his eyes. Laughing again in spite of herself, Erin leaned back on the bed, and realized for the first time she was still in her PJs. She looked back at Sirius and blushed.

"What's wrong?"

"You shouldn't see me in my pajamas."

"It's not like I haven't already."

Erin scowled at him and tried her hardest to remember if she'd ever walked around in her underwear or naked in front of him when he was a dog.

"You didn't."

She jumped, "Didn't what?"

"You didn't parade in front of me naked, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping you would."

"No wonder your animagus form is a dog! Are you a mind-reader, too?"

"No, but I could just tell where your thoughts were going. We've spent a lot of time together. Even if I couldn't talk to you, you talked to me, a lot."

Erin felt very vulnerable and it wasn't a feeling she enjoyed. Her thoughts were torn between ordering him out of her room and breaking down into tears. He was looking at her carefully and Erin realized that he must be trying to figure out from her facial expressions what she was thinking. Forcing her face into an icy expression she looked at him.

He cringed and she felt satisfied. "If you don't mind, could you please wait in the other room?" Sirius nodded and staring at the floor walked away. Erin felt a momentary twinge of guilt, but pushed it aside.

Pulling a pair of jeans from her wardrobe, she slid into them and then turned to search for a sweater. Settling on a dark green, wool one, she turned to check her appearance in the mirror. She was shocked at the reflection greeting her.

Her hair was a wreck, but as she began pulling a brush through the fine blond strands, she realized that it wasn't the worst of her appearance. The summer tan that had come so naturally was almost completely gone. Her skin was pale and pasty, and her eyes had dark circles beneath them.

In fact, her face was rather gaunt, and appeared unusual to her. Erin noticed that her jeans were a little loose and she realized that her lithe frame was now almost skeletal. She knew that she hadn't eaten on her journey, and hadn't really consumed much since she'd gotten back to Hogwarts. Even her eyes seemed different; they had lost their sparkle. They no longer appeared to be smiling even when she wasn't. This was how she looked when she was young, a shell of a life.

Sitting down on the floor in front of the mirror, Erin began to sob. She continued for several minutes before feeling strong arms come around her from behind. Looking up into the mirror she saw Sirius' concerned face next to hers. She turned to face him, trying to find words.

Finally, she gave up trying to speak and threw herself into his arms and began to sob. She let out all the fear, shame, guilt, and despair that she'd been feeling since she'd been kidnapped. Time seemed to stand still as they clung together, her head on his shoulder, tears pouring down her face. Erin cried until she had no more tears, and then she curled up into Sirius' lap as if a child. She laid her blond head against his chest and he held her rocking her gently. She fell into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

When Erin awoke Sirius was leaning against the bed. His breathing was even and relaxed. She was still in his lap and he still held her tightly. Looking around, trying to figure out what had awoken her, Erin's eyes landed on Dumbledore standing in her bedchamber.

"Oh!" she gasped and began extracting herself from Sirius' embrace. Her movements woke Sirius and he got to his feet with a start, knocking Erin to the floor.

"Sorry!" he exclaimed and held out a hand to help her to her feet. She shot him a look and then took his hand and got to her feet.

"Feeling better?" Dumbledore asked Erin. She blushed deeply and nodded, unable to meet his eye. "Good. I came with bad news. Sirius, I need you to go back out and do some surveillance work. I know you wanted to stay with Erin until she was fully recuperated, but this is an imperative assignment, and she is doing much better, I see."

Erin blushed again. Why did she feel so guilty? They hadn't done anything inappropriate. Maybe it was because the thought had crossed her mind. Sneaking a glance at Sirius, she saw that his face was also flushed. We must look like quite the guilty parties, she thought.

"I'll leave at once, professor, but can I have a few minutes?"

"Certainly." And with that Dumbledore turned and left with an unmistakable wink.

They were alone again. "Erin, I wish I didn't have to go."

"I know."

"Will you be alright?"

"I'm sure I can manage. I just need to stop feeling sorry for myself and get over it."

He smiled, "Thanks for today. God, that sounds risqué!" He laughed and then added, "We looked so compromised when Dumbledore came in. I can only imagine what he must be thinking right now."

"I was thinking the same thing!"

"I know."

Erin let his statement hang in the air for a few moments. Then she stepped forward and put her arms around him. "Please be careful," she whispered.

His voice choked up, "I will be."

"Good-bye," she whispered.

"It's not good-bye, it's see you soon," he said stepping back, he changed into a dog, and with one last bark he left the room.

Erin missed him as soon as he left. She felt sad that he had had to leave so abruptly. But she decided it was time she got back to her life, and she went to the Great Hall.