An American Professor

Erin stood in the doorway with her mouth hanging open. Her office had been filled with bouquets of flowers. She could barely see to the floor. Still gaping she turned to Ron. "Is this the typical way Hogwarts welcomes new teachers?"

He shrugged and said, "I don't think so. Well, with the possible exception of Gilderoy Lockhart."

"Who's that? Oh, never mind, it really doesn't matter. Please tell me you didn't waste any of your money on flowers." Erin's brow furrowed as she regarded Ron carefully.

He turned red and shuffled his feet awkwardly. "Uh, no, I didn't."

Erin put her hand on his arm. "Good, please don't." She smiled at him. "So, um, I guess there's a desk in here somewhere, do you suppose?" She began picking her way carefully through the bouquets.

Ron closed the door behind them and laughed. "What are you going to do with all of these?"

"I haven't even begun to figure that out!" she exclaimed. "I suppose I should try to see who they are from. I wonder if they are all from one person? Aaaah choo! Uh oh…"

Ron approached a Venus Fly Trap and said, "I don't think so, this is from Hagrid, but these are from Neville," he pointed to a bouquet of yellow carnations.

"Sheesh, it would take me forever to pick through all of these to get all of the cards. I know, I can do a spell!" she said with obvious excitement. She closed her eyes and pictured all of the cards on the bouquets and said, "Accio cards!" She tried to catch them all as they came flying towards her, but there were just too many and they began flying at her instead of to her. Being attacked by cards, she began to shriek as they flew at her face from all directions. Ron was clutching his sides from laughing so hard and Erin began to bat at the cards instead of trying to catch them, making Ron laugh harder. When the onslaught had ceased she fell into the pile of cards at her feet giggling hysterically. Ron hadn't been able to move that far from the door and he too was on the floor laughing uncontrollably.

"You-should-have-seen-your-face," he managed to gasp out. "You looked- you looked- like, well- I'm not sure-but it-it was priceless!" This caused Erin to laugh harder and sneeze simultaneously. She gathered some of the cards and tried to fit them in her shoulder bag.

"I feel like I've got a florist shop for an office!" She looked at Ron. "I haven't even enough room for all these damn cards! And now I can't stop sneezing! Aaaahhh Choo!" He began to laugh again. Erin gathered what she could fit into her bag and started to open the ones that wouldn't fit. "Come here and be useful, Ronald Weasley," she called.

About twenty of the cards were left on the floor and together they began to open and sort them; Anonymous and named. When they finished the twenty, Erin found a trash can and discarded those saying, 'Your secret admirer', 'a friend', 'an admirer', etc. She checked her watch and it was 11:30. "Ron, I'm going to try to get through the pile of cards in my bag, if you want to head down to lunch, I won't mind."

Ron grinned and said, "Yeah, I think I'll leave you to your fans!"

"Gee, thanks. Aaahhh Chooo! Excuse me. See you later, oh, and Ron." He turned to her. "Thanks for helping me out!"

He turned pink and chuckled, "Anytime, but hopefully not too often," and he closed the door with a click.

Erin finished sorting the cards and looked at her watch, 12:15. Shoot! Only forty five minutes until her next class! Shoving the cards with actual signature into her bag, she pulled it to her shoulder, as she grabbed her map she muttered, "Great Hall!" and moved as quickly to her door as possible without knocking anything over. She slammed the door shut and began running down the hall. She flew around a corner and ran smack into something that felt like a concrete wall.

"Ooof," she groaned falling backwards. She sat on the floor in stunned silence trying to focus her eyes on what had knocked her down. Erin couldn't catch her breath, and she sat on the floor gasping.

Hagrid was on his knees next to her asking her if she was ok. He'd probably asked three times before she heard him. "Professor are yeh, OK? I didn' even hear yeh comin'."

Erin focused on the huge man kneeling beside her with concern written all over his face. "I'm OK, I just got the wind knocked out of me," she gasped still trying to catch her breath. "You're-Hagrid,- aren't-you?" He nodded still looking concerned. "Th-Thanks for the-Venus Fly trap, -I loved it," she said sincerely. He smiled apparently pleased that she had liked his gift. "Ahhh choo!" Erin wiped at her nose with the sleeve of her robe, and then looked at Hagrid apologetically. "Sorry for running into you. I was running because I've got a class at one, but I know I need to eat something first," she explained quickly. "Aaaahhh Choo!" she added.

"Yeh catch a cold, perfessor?" Hagrid asked with concern as he helped her to her feet.

"No, there must have been some dust in my office that got up my nose, that's all. Aaaah choo! I'm sure it will pass."

"Well, let me bring yeh ta the Great Hall, at least. I feel kinda bad fer knocking yeh down."

Erin began to protest that it had been her fault for running, but she could tell Hagrid wasn't listening, so she shifted her back to the other shoulder, nodded, and began to continue on her path.

As they began to walk down the corridor; Erin put away her map allowing Hagrid to guide her. He stopped short and reached out. "Perfessor, let me carry yer bag fer yeh, it looks a might bit heavy." Erin gratefully surrendered her bag and Hagrid lifted it as if it weighed a few ounces. Erin checked her watch as they reached the hall. It was 12:40, and she knew she'd only have time to grab some food and split. She cursed under breath as she hurried to the front table. Grabbing an apple, a banana, and two slices of bread she turned to face the hall. Erin realized with a start that most of the seats were still filled and almost all eyes were on her. It was at this point that she realized she'd been scratching at her arm absentmindedly. She dropped her hand and turned to leave.

She shook off their stares deeming them just a coincidence and collected her bag from Hagrid. Erin flew to the exit and left the Hall as quickly as she'd arrived. Hurrying through the halls, without running (she'd learned her lesson), she reached Transfiguration class on time and took a seat. Her arms were still itching like crazy and now her legs had started. She tried not to scratch them, as sneezing every five minutes was drawing more attention to her than she wanted. Erin found that it was hard to concentrate on the lesson while she was concentrating on not scratching herself raw, and trying to suppress multiple sneezes.

Despite trying to act as attentive as possible, Erin was shot quite a few nasty looks by the stern, miserable looking woman. She chose to ignore them, passing them off as PMS. Oh, wait, maybe she's too old to have PMS, maybe she just needs to get laid, Erin mused. It was all that she could do to keep from laughing out loud and give McGonagall an actual reason to glare even harder at her. Luckily, she was able to contain herself until the end of class.

Erin enjoyed her Charms class immensely, despite trying not to think about how itchy her stomach was becoming. I've had the Chicken Pox, what the heck is wrong with me? Erin began scratching her various extremities in increments. One minute for the arm, five minute break, one minute for the leg, five minute break, etc. She found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on Flitwick's lesson, but did her best to pay attention. She still couldn't contain her sneezes and was becoming quite tired of the chorus of 'Bless You's' that she kept receiving.

Despite all of her distractions, Erin could tell that Flitwick seemed to be an excellent and fair professor. Deciding that he appeared as though he could be tough, but definitely willing to give his students extra help as needed, Erin knew she'd be spending a lot of time with him. At the end of Charms, two boys asked if they could help her with her bag. She shooed them away and turned to leave. She heard Flitwick clear his throat and she turned to look him.

"So, Erin, how was your first day?"

"Aaaaahhh Chooo! Excuse me. Uh, well, a little overwhelming at times, but I've learned a lot. I even did a successful summoning charm that was, um, a little too successful in a way." She chuckled at the memory of the flying cards. "Oh, by the way, thank-you for the flowers, you really shouldn't have."

Flitwick smiled and blushed. "Ah it's just my small way of welcoming you to Hogwarts."

"Well, like I said, thanks, it was really sweet of you. And, by the way, your map has proved to be invaluable. Aaaahhh Choo! Excuse me. Well, I'd better be going, I'm going to write out some thank-you notes and move some of those flowers around before dinner."

Flitwick's brow furrowed as he asked, "What do you mean, move them around, write notes to whom, you've already thanked me." Erin realized with a sinking feeling that he must not know about the multitude of flowers in her office, he thought that he'd been the only one to send her flowers.

"Right, silly me, well, I'd better get going, thanks again. Ahhh choo!" and she hurried down the hall cursing herself silently, as she went. Passing by her classroom she caught a whiff of a sweet smell coming from inside. With a sinking feeling she opened the door.

The sight she beheld caused her to groan. Her classroom was now filled with flowers. A chuckle came from behind her and she turned to see Dumbledore smiling with a twinkle in his eye. "I came to see if you had received the 'Welcome to Hogwarts' bouquet I sent, but now I see that there's no way you could possibly tell!" he laughed, his eyes still glowing.

"Oh, uh, what did it look like," Erin began completely embarrassed by the scene behind her. "I can just look for it now," she suggested helpfully. She dropped her arm from scratching violently at her stomach, when she caught sight of Dumbledore staring at her curiously.

"No, dear, don't worry. It seems you have quite a few admirers," he observed while glancing at a card.

"Aaaaahhhh choooo! Excuse me. Do ya think that they're trying to get on my good side, to get good grades in my class?" Erin asked hopefully.

"No," he admitted, "I think that most of these are from young men who are smitten. Are you feeling all right? You seem to be scratching quite a bit, and I heard you sneezing at lunch as well."

"Oh," Erin sighed, "I think I got some dust up my nose in my office. As for the scratching, I don't know why I'm so itchy. By the way, my office is just as bad if not worse than this, which is why I suppose they spilled over into here. Aaaahhh chooo! Excuse me. I haven't been to my rooms yet, but I pray that they are unaffected."

"Your rooms should be unaffected. None of the students know where your rooms are." Then he spotted a card with Professor Flitwick's handwriting. "Then again….. Erin, how long ago were you in your office?"

"Um, just before lunchtime. Aaaahhhh Choo! Excuse me. By the way, Professor, I need to talk to you about last night…" Erin looked to the floor feeling very ashamed.

"No, child, you don't. I understand that you were very tired last night. Under the circumstances I think you handled everything rather well. Are you highly allergic to dust, Erin?" He smiled warmly at her, and Erin knew that all was forgiven.

"Um, well, not that I ever knew of. Maybe it's some type of magical dust. Since you're here, perhaps I can enlist you help in trying to figure out what I can do with all of these, and what can I do to stop all future, uh, deliveries? Aaaahhh choooo! Excuse me." She was about to cry in frustration, she couldn't stop sneezing and she was leaning against the wall to scratch her back, which had succumbed to the itchiness engulfing the rest of her body.

"There, there, child, I'll put a stop to it tonight at dinner, and let me summon a house elf named Dobby, he can head up a team of house elves that can distribute the flowers around the castle, to brighten the place up a bit. But Erin, I wonder why you are itching all over. It seems that it's quite unbearable to you. And, you have some red bumps forming on your face."

"Aaaahh choo! Excuse me. I'm sure it's nothing professor. Those are probably just pimples forming from my nerves. I think it's a wonderful idea to distribute the flowers throughout the castle," Erin gasped gratefully. As she leaned over to scratch her legs vigorously Dobby appeared with a 'Pop!'

Erin tried not to laugh as Dobby was wearing a doily on his head, three socks on one foot, two on another, none of which were the same color, and a very large, very orange t-shirt exclaiming, 'Too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the soup!' Instead she swallowed a giggle and took his hand to shake it. "It's very nice to meet you, Dobby, I'm Erin."

Dobby hopped from one foot to another and his eyes widened to saucers. "I knows you, miss, I's been tendin' to your rooms."

Erin looked at him quizzically and shifted her gaze to Dumbledore. The old wizard smiled gently. "House elves are like maids or butlers to you, my dear. They tend the fires, make the beds, wash your laundry, and such."

"Oh!" Erin exclaimed, "Well, Dobby, you are doing an absolutely wonderful job, thank-you very much. Aaaahhhh choo! Excuse me. Sorry for sneezing so much. It's terribly disruptive, isn't it?"

Dumbledore looked at her with concern. "I am not worried about it being a disturbance, so much as I worry as to why you keep doing it."

Erin waved her hand at him. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. Perhaps I am getting a cold."

Dobby looked as if he were about to burst into tears. "I knows its not my place, miss, but the perfesser is right. Youse look bad." He continued to hop and it was making Erin tired just watching him.

Erin sighed. "I honestly don't understand what the big deal is. So, I'm a little itchy and keep sneezing. I'm getting a cold, or something. It's not a big---Ahhh choo! deal, excuse me."

Dumbledore must not have felt the same way, as he moved closer to Erin and looked her up and down. Erin tried her best not to squirm, but it was at that precise moment that her neck chose to itch like crazy. "Erin, push up your sleeve please."

"What? Aaaah choo! Why?"

"Erin, are you always so combative? Please just push up your sleeve." The look on his face was resigned and Erin knew it would be stupid to resist. She pushed up the sleeve on her robe and smiled sweetly at Dumbledore. "Erin, dear, now please push up your shirt sleeve, if you don't mind."

"Oh, for heaven's sake! Ahhh choo!" Erin pushed up her sleeve and was greeted by the sight of quarter-sized lumps. "Oh!"

"How long have you been walking around sneezing?"

"Uh, geez, all day I guess. Ahhhh choo! Excuse me again."

"And the scratching?"

"All day, as well." As Erin stared at the red lumps they seemed to get itchier, but she resisted scratching them.

"When today did it start, Erin? When you first put on your clothes, when you ate lunch, when exactly?"

"I guess, Ahhhh choo! it was after I left my office, which is why I thought I'd gotten dust up my nose."

"And, is it worse now, in your classroom, than it was before you got here?"

"Well, yes, Ahhh choo! now that you mention it, I seem to be sneezing a lot more frequently, but I've been sneezing right along."

"Now we're getting somewhere. Let's go into the hallway. Dobby please take care of these flowers." Erin followed Dumbledore into the hallway and continued to sneeze. "Hmm, still sneezing, though not as frequently. Did you bring anything from your office with you today?"

"No, I couldn't even reach my desk, Professor. Ahhhh choo!" Erin leaned against the wall and began moving up and down to scratch her back.

"Are you absolutely sure? My theory won't make a lot of sense if you didn't touch something or bring something with you from your office."

"What - Aaaahhhh choo! are you getting at? I guess I touched the cards that came with the flowers, and oh my gosh! I totally forgot! Ahhhh Choo! I brought some of them with me in my bag."

"Well, Miss Worhli, it seems apparent to me that you are highly allergic to some if not all of these flowers and I recommend that you go to the hospital wing immediately."

"But Professor, surely if I just throw away the cards, that will stop the sneezing."

"It may. But it will not stop the itching. Go see Poppy, she'll fix you all up."

"Aaahhh choo! OK, OK, I'm going. Thanks for helping me sort all of this out professor.

"I'm just happy that we were able to pinpoint the source of your problem. Now, get yourself to the nurse, and come to dinner as soon as possible, so I can make that announcement."

"Yes, sir, I'll be there soon." Erin sneezed and scratched her way to the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey looked pleased to be busy on the first day of school, but Erin felt really stupid. Pomfrey wasn't able to do much for the hives. She made Erin rub on a lotion that looked a lot like Calamine all over. So, instead of red bumps, she had quarter-sized blotches of pink. Pomfrey was, however, able to relieve the sneezing, for which Erin was grateful. As she turned to leave she asked Poppy, "Which flowers do you think caused this?"

Pomfrey shook her head. "I haven't a clue, dear. It might be wise not to go rolling in any fields again, anytime soon."

"I didn't…Oh, forget it. Thanks," Erin muttered, and walked down the hall. She didn't want to go to dinner looking like a bottle of Pepto Bismol, but she'd promised Dumbledore. She walked as slowly as possible to the Great Hall and took a deep breath before pushing open the door.