Close Calls

"Close Calls"

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"So... what do you think?" Fred asked Hermione, grinning, showing her the secret cove that was located just behind the greenhouses. Greenhouse Three, to be exact. It was fully of beautiful blossom trees, a bird bath, a fountain, a bench. Hermione wondered what it was doing there... but figured it was just a place that was kept tidy by Professor Sprout for some quiet time.

Currently there were fireflies to light their way a blanket laid out on the grassy lawn.

"I'll take that as an 'Oh, it's wonderful, Fred!'" he said jokingly, taking her right hand and leading her over to the blanket for them to sit.

Somewhere there's speaking,
It's already coming in.

Hermione nods, grinning. "It is..."

Then, as she looked at his thrilled face, she felt something. Something strange. It didn't feel right--it didn't feel good.

It was doubt--and fear.

Fred surveyed her face that was illuminated by the flying, yet dim lighting.

"Something the matter?" he took a sip out of his small goblet of punch, his eyes never leaving her face. It held a troubled expression. And still she looked just as pretty.

Oh, and it's rising at the back of your mind.

It was then that he knew. He knew it. All the months they spent together went crashing back to him. And unless he had misjudged it, she knew it too.

Hermione was the one to prepare him for the N.E.W.T.s; she spent all of her free-time not with Ron and Harry, but Fred. The sessions were always fun. Fred's humor ensured that the study sessions were never dull, and Hermione's diligence always kept it productive. She quizzed him on dates, witches, wizards, places, and events--he answered them correctly, and as for the ones he didn't know, he used his wit. He used his wit quite frequently. And soon enough, with Hermione's help, Fred's intelligence began to shine through. Hermione and maybe even Fred himself, knew what he was capable of. He concocted potions and invented little tricks with his brother George, so even though it didn't seem like it to his mum, young Fred was learning quickly in class and using it on ordinary items--making them quite out of the ordinary.

But Fred's knowledge for facts wasn't the only thing that grew.

Hermione and he were getting closer than ever before and as time flew by, his clever comments were based on the way she looked and the way she smiled--basically everything about her.

You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why.

Remembering all this made Hermione's heart smile on the inside, but her mind conquered it. Mind over matter.

She shook her head at Fred's inquiries. "No... I'm fine."

"You say one thing, but your eyes say another," Fred said, lifting her chin up so he could look into her honey-brown ones.

She blinked and glanced away from him.

"What is it?" he pressed on.

But under skinned knees,
And the skid marks,
Past the places where you used to learn,

"Tell me, Hermione," Fred said, more serious than ever.

You howl and listen,
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return.

'Say it, Hermione,' her heart bid her. 'He loves you. Just say it.' But her mind broke in. 'Here today, gone tomorrow... He's only here until June--when term ends. End it. Before anyone gets hurt.'

'No,' her heart argued. 'Fred's funny, Fred's brilliant, Fred's good-looking, Fred's sweet, Fred's kind, Fred's caring, Fred's in love. Fred loves you.'

And still it was kept mind over matter. Mind over the thing that mattered most to her.

He's everything you want,
He's everything you need,
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be.

"Fred," she began. "We've been together for five months."

"The greatest months of my--"

Hermione interrupted him. "But... what about after June? You'll have been graduated. And I'll be stuck here for two years without you."

"No worries. There's summer vacation, Christmas vacation... we'll write. Sure it'll be different, but it could work. It will work. Trust me."

He says all the right things
At exactly the right time.
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why...

But the thought of losing him, the thought of him not being there in-between vacations got to her. "No..." she said, not meaning for it to be heard.

"No? Hermione, you're not making much sense here," Fred said, smiling nervously. And yet... in the back of his mind, he knew... 'She couldn't... not now... She won't... Would she? Will she?' he thought. But denial felt so much better than the truth that was lurking before him and Hermione.

You're waiting for someone
To put you together...
You're waiting for someone to push you away.

Fear and doubt--Hermione's two weaknesses. Fear and doubt.

"Look, Fred, you're sweet, you--you're great..." she began, not daring to look him in the eye.

He inhaled a great amount of air.

Hermione had nothing to worry about--his eyes were shut--even after emitting a sigh. He was ready; Fred was bracing himself.

There's always another
Wound to discover.
There's always something more you wish he'd say.

"It's just... I can't... you being gone. I dunno," she said, hesitating every now and then. Her heart was screaming, 'NOOOOO! STOP!' but she kept rattling on, as if she were possessed. Deep down she knew she wasn't though.

"Maybe it's best if we..."

"Best if we what?" Fred said gruffly. He realized that she wanted to break up--but for fear of losing him? He shook his head at the thought. There was no way she could lose him--not unless she wanted to. And ending this relationship would make her lose him either way. It was a no-win situation. 'She doesn't know what she wants,' Fred thinks to himself, growing ever more frustrated with the girl sitting before him.

'And... that's me. I'm what she wants, aren't I? Or--maybe I used to be...'

He sighs unknowingly.

But you'll just sit tight,
And watch it unwind.
It's only what you're asking for.
And you'll be just fine,
With all of your time,
It's only what you're waiting for....

"Just end it now--before things get too serious," she said at last, her eyes watering as she said it.

Fred snorted. "I think it's a tad bit late for that, Hermione."

She smiled at him, appreciative of that humor he used. Fred couldn't wear to look at her.

He got up, his bones cracking for a moment, having been sitting for so long, and he brushed off his pants. "Look, I refuse to just give up on you, so... I'm just gonna go. We may be over, Hermione. But it's still there. It's not over yet."

And he left, walking upright, chin up. Even as we walked, it was draining him of energy. All he wanted was to just hunch his shoulders, watch his feet as he walked, and so on, but not when he was within her sight. He wouldn't let her see him spiraling down. No, not Fred, at least, not the Fred she had grown to love. Just thinking this made him clench his fists.

Hermione could taste her salty tears. What was wrong with her? She blinked back tears--it was hard enough just to see Fred get up and go... leave... going through the grand 'EXIT' door and out of her life.

Out of the island,
Into the highway...
Past the places where you might have turned,

She put her face in her hands, sobbing silently. Why had she done that? Why did she end something with someone who truly made her happy? WHY?!

She got up in such a hurry, her shoes caught on her long white summer dress, tearing it and falling to the ground, making her cry even harder, clutching the long grass with her hands in mild anguish.

Fred wasn't having much fun on his way back to the Tower either. He chucked a number of stones into the Great Lake, listening as it hit the water with a couple of loud splashes--though the Giant Squid tossed them back at him. Fred ran for his life and eventually reached the doors to the castle, panting for breath. He went inside, but not feeling at all sleepy, he headed towards the library--even if it WOULD bring back memories. As upset at he was, he didn't want to forget Hermione at all--and knew that she didn't want to forget him either.

He took a seat at the old table they would usually study at--the one at the back of the room near the stained-glass window. He cradled his head in his arms and stared out the oh-too-familiar window.

You never did notice,
But you still hide away,
The anger of angels who won't return.

It started to rain. Fred began to worry that Hermione was still outside, getting drenched, but her breaking up with him killed the part of him that would normally care.

Well... no, not really.

Fred found himself making a checklist of all the things he still had.

'Well, maybe I don't have Hermione at the moment... but I do have my pride and dignity... and I've still got my friends and family and...' Fred stopped--suddenly feeling empty. 'I have all that, and it's great, but I still don't have... my heart.'

He shut his eyes. He must have left it behind in his great rush to leave Hermione's side.

I am everything you want,
I am everything you need,
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be.

Fred banged his fist on the table. Why couldn't he make her see what he saw? Why couldn't he pass on to her his optimism?

I say all the right things
At exactly the right time.
But I mean nothing to you,
And I don't know why...

Hermione bent her head down as the rain started coming down on her. She bit her lip.

She could undo what she had done, right? Because seeing Fred's reaction... she had never seen him like that before. Upset. Never. Not Fred. And even though Fred's hinted many times that he loved her, she had never really given him a direct answer, just a sly smile or a bashful grin, or she merely just blushed furiously.

Now would be the time... or was it too soon? Would it seem like she was just being a hypocrite?

She shook her head rigorously. 'NO. You need to learn how to take a leap of faith. Go to him already!'

She got up again and dashed towards the castle, desperate to get out of the rain. She sprinted into the Entrance Hall and looked around wildly--where should she look? Was Fred already in the up in his dorm?

And I don't know
Why.

She was on her way up to Gryffindor Tower when she passed by the library and decided to just check and see. If he wasn't there, she would just go up to the Tower and catch him later. But he was there.

Hermione crept slowly up to their table and cleared her throat. He looked up, those blue eyes staring up at her again.

She couldn't decipher the look in them. Surprise, dislike, concern, hurt, and emptiness were reflected in them.

Why?

"Oh... Hermione..." he whispered, looking her over, taking in her dripping wet hair, her muddy dress (the hem torn), and her bare feet. "... Where'd your sandals go?"

She smiled weakly and shrugged. "I must've left them behind--may I join you?"

"Be my guest," was his answer.

She sat across from him. "Fred, look, I dunno what I was thinking earlier... I must've sounded mental..."

He nodded, a grin setting on his face.

"You didn't have to agree with it, Fred!" she said, hitting him lightly on the arm.

They talked for about half an hour--peacefully.

And by the end of it, things were back to normal.

"So... we're still... us?" Fred asked Hermione shyly.

She nods. "And I wouldn't have it either way."

Fred looks at her, and says, suddenly father-like, "Young lady, you'd better change out of those clothes before you catch a cold!"

She laughed, just like old times--and just like she would in the future. "I'll be fine."

"Nope! Won't take 'no' for an answer! You are changing, and I am walking you up to that Tower. Okay?"

She smiled. "That'd be great of you, Fred."

And they left the library together, Fred's arm around her waist.

They walked in silence until, "Hermione," he said, sniffing the air around him. "You smell like--wet dog."

She glared up at him, and Fred thought she was about to blow her top until---

CRASH!!!

She had shoved Fred away from her and he was sent careening into a broom closet to the left of the corridor.

He watched after her for a moment, trying not to laugh out loud, and chased after her.

"I love you, Hermione," he said, placing his arm around her once more.

"Love you too, dear old Fred!" she chirped back, resting her head on his shoulder.

... CRASH!!!

CRASH!

It was now Hermione's turn to be shoved into a small, empty room. She looked up in time to see Fred's retreating back.

"FREEED!" she yelled, running after him.

Fred glanced over his shoulder and grinned, breaking into a run himself. "That's for pushing me into a broomstick aaaand for calling me OLD!" He paused then quickly repeated as he neared a turn, "I love you, Hermione! I love you, Hermione, I love you, Hermione..."

He let her catch up and she stopped only just in time and said breathlessly, "That's good to know!"

And she kissed him on the lips---until footsteps were audible.

"It's Filch!"

Fred looked at Hermione's panic-stricken face and said proudly, "You're not with Fred Weasley for no reason--I happen to know a shortcut!" He kissed her quickly then withdrew from her and smiled.

"Fred, I---" Hermione started, but she had no time to say much more. He glanced at her then at the lamplight shining at just around the corner....

And he grabbed her hand and led her off into the night and back to Gryffindor Tower.

They'd make it--they had certainly survived the night so far.

They'd make it.