Singled Out

Chapter VII

Lily restlessly paced her room. Mary, actually in the correct room for a change, glanced at her. "Will you stop that already?" she asked, making a wry face.

"Oh, sorry," Lily said, blowing out her breath before throwing herself onto her bed.

"What gives?" Mary shut her book on Muggles and sat up, watching Lily intently.

"Guy problems," Lily replied. Now it was her turn to grimace.

"I heard about the stuff in the Great Hall. Wasn’t it Harold’s brother that did it?"

"Yeah."

"What happened? Were they in some sort of conspiracy against you?"

"I wish it was that simple, but it’s so much worse."

"That bad, huh?"

"I like him. As in, really like him. But, I don’t like him at the same time."

"Which one?" Mary asked, looking nonplussed.

"James!"

"Oh." She was silent, winding a dark brown curl around her finger then biting her nails, apparently deep in thought. Finally, she spoke. "Well, I really don’t see the problem." She smiled apologetically. But then, I’m not the best person to talk to about guy problems. What with my condition and all."

"Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be mean," Lily fell silent.

"I’m used to it by now. It used to be that people I didn’t know would stop me in the hall and ask, ‘Are you the lesbian?’ as if I were some weird creature they’d read about in Fantastic Beasts. It was like I was a unicorn, only with none of the charm."

"More like a werewolf," Lily said without thinking. Then, she gasped. "I’m sorry. I can’t keep my mouth shut, can I?"

"Well, at least you don’t beat me up or jinx me when I pass."

Lily bit her lip. She knew that Mary spent a lot of time in the infirmary because some of the students didn’t like having anyone who wasn’t straight in their midst. But, it was still strange to hear her talk about it so frankly.

"That reminds me, did you hear about Aeneas and Avery?" Mary changed the subject gracefully.

"No. What happened?"

"They had a fight in the hallway. You know Petra’s parents are Muggles."

Lily nodded silently.

"Well, Avery was bragging about how he would kill all the Mudbloods," Mary stopped suddenly. "Crap, I was the one being insensitive that time."

"That’s OK. What did Aeneas do?"

"He jumped Avery and started beating him up. You know how strong he is. Then Professor Tanspere showed up, and Aeneas is in really deep shit now. Just because Avery’s a horrible git and Tanspere’s evil and likes it when people insult Muggle-borns. Say, don’t you have detention with her sometime soon?"

"She told me to start with the new week, so that I would have time to be properly remorseful about my lack of respect. But isn’t Aeneas Head Boy?"

"Yeah. That’s what makes it so bad. If she gets her way, some Ravenclaw prat will become Head Boy."

"Ravenclaw isn’t that bad."

"Yeah, but anyone that Tanspere likes would have to be a nightmare," Mary said darkly.

Lily grinned. She had no problem with hearing Tanspere badmouthed.

"I’m going down to the kitchens to nick some food. Want anything?"

"Oh, can you just grab me some bread rolls? You know, the really good, buttery, unbelievably unhealthy ones."

"Sure."

Lily walked out of the door and down the hall. She was so used to going to the kitchen that she didn’t even think about the way to get there. She’d found that it was really useful when she wanted to sleep in and miss breakfast or when she just didn’t feel like taking the time for a full meal surrounded by people chattering. And it was especially valuable when she didn’t want to see a certain pair of brothers. She walked up to the picture of the pear, tickled it, and stepped into a different world, which she found oddly soothing.

"Oh, ‘tis Miss Lily!" A short, big-eyed House Elf dashed over to her, a smaller version of herself in tow. "Teggy is so glad to see Miss Lily. I is just saying that surely Miss Lily come for food. And look, Mister Harold is here too."

Lily’s stomach gave an odd flip. How could she have forgotten that she was the one who taught him the way? It was probably the first rule he broke at Hogwarts. Not that it was a real rule, but Harold generally went far beyond the mere letter of the law. And now they met, where they had so often spent time; Harold trying to teach the House Elves to speak properly, and Lily laughing at the valiant efforts of both parties, which was often terminated by the House Elf squeaking out an excuse and running as if its smock was on fire.

"Hi," he said, smiling. Her stomach flipped again, harder. Why had she not noticed how much he looked like James? She hadn’t noticed any of the changes in his face; how he was getting taller, how his hair curled slightly at the ends, creating an appealingly messy mop on his head. Was she throwing away the chance to be with someone she really liked for someone that she thought she loved?

"Hey," she replied, trying not to be awkward. "How are the reading lessons coming?"

"I’m stopping."

"That hopeless, huh?" She smiled, feeling more comfortable.

"No; it was no fun when you weren’t here." He was being completely honest. She was sure he wasn’t trying emotional blackmail, and somehow it hurt ten times more.

"Well, I’m here now," she said with false brightness, and immediately regretted it. For an instant, a look of hope flickered across his face. And then, she said the words that she hated so much; words that had always struck her as a way of twisting the knife within the wound. But there was nothing else to fill the void stretching between them.

"We can be friends, right?" She tried to smile, but it felt too fake, too insincere. As she asked, his face closed, and in response she felt her own heart beat painfully.

"Friends," he said evenly, but obviously struggling.

He belched, his eyes nearly crossed. "So, Mizz Lily, having issues," he asked, swaying and staggering up to her.

Lily nearly stepped back, before telling herself firmly that that would be very impolite. Instead, she strove not to breathe in the nearly toxic air that created a cloud around him.

"Of course not," she said. Glancing sideways, she saw Harold looked very puzzled. She had thought that he knew every elf at Hogwarts, but this was one he obviously didn’t know.

"Solly not at you service," he said, grinning maniacally.

The other house elves gave him a worried glance. So he was considered an interloper even among his own kind, Lily thought to herself. No; not quite. There was one young elf that was watching Solly with a look of something akin to worship. His huge green eyes were filled with adoration. Suddenly, Teggy swooped down.

"Dobby, come," she said shrilly. Dobby had the time to blink once before he was snatched up by his arm. "We must work," Teggy shrieked.

As the house elves frantically busied themselves with their work again, Solly leaned against an oven. "You, here," he said, crooking a finger at her. At the thought of entering that smell again, Lily very nearly turned and ran. However, she cautiously approached him.

"Who’s that?" He pointed at Harold, who had turned to talk to one of the other House Elves.

"That’s Harold Potter," she said uncertainly.

"Does he have a brother?"

"Um, yeah."

"Do you know him?"

Lily was sure that this was not normal house elf behavior. "Are you an elf?" she asked suspiciously, her eyes narrowed.

He gave her a lazy smile. "Who knows?"

"So," she drew out the syllable, "I have to answer your questions, but you don’t have to answer mine?"

"Didn’t you know it’s inexcusably boorish to answer a question with a question?"

"Are you an inexcusable boor?"

His smile was frighteningly cold. "I have been called one." The words writhed with suppressed rage. Lily wondered what he was so angry about.

"Are you some sort of spy? Because if you are, let me warn you, I can stop you with physical force." He’s only a house elf, she told herself.

"What will you do? Kick me to death? If you were wearing stilettos, I’d be more worried."

Lily was feeling very confused. Who exactly was this not-house-elf? And weren’t stilettos a type of knife? She sneaked a quick peek and saw Harold was immersed in talking to Teggy’s son, Dobby.

Suddenly, there was someone pulling on her robes. Solly was tugging hard, and she was jerked down to his height. "Listen," he said in a hoarse whisper. "Find that boy and tell him that Rae has to be at Hogsmeade next weekend and tell her that Sol must speak to her. Here’s a paper to remind you." He handed her a greasy-looking paper.

Lily felt dizzy from the nauseating smells of alcohol and tobacco. She nodded quickly, wanting to wriggle out of his grip. He obliged, smiling grimly. "So, Miss Lily, what food will you be wanting to take with you today?" She breathed a sight of relief, discreetly trying to wipe the grimy fingerprints off the sleeve of her robes. She didn’t want them smelling horrible for the rest of the day, and her wand was in her room. She readied herself to leave, her appetite gone, but she remembered Mary’s request. "I’ll just have some bread rolls."

"The unhealthy ones?" Sol smirked.

"Yes," she said firmly. I will not be bullied by a little goggling elf, she told herself. And I will go see Professor Dumbledore.

He came back to her with the rolls in a bag, the bread warm in her hand. "Don’t bother talking to Dumbledore about this, by the way," he muttered to her. Teggy squeaked goodbye, struggling to extract herself from the grip of her youngest child. Her last glimpse was of Harold cornering that odd House Elf, a determined statement on his face.

As she was nearing the common room, James came barreling out. They both stopped dead as they saw each other. Lily’s breath caught in her throat.

James’ heart seemed to be struggling to batter its way out of his chest. It felt like a Snitch struggling madly against his fingers. She was staring at him as if in a daze.

"Did Remus give you my schedule?" The question shattered the silence around them. A Ravenclaw second-year who was passing gave them a strange look as they stood there, close enough to touch.

James mentally shook himself out of his stupor. "No."

Her lips tightened. "I see."

"Did you give it to him?"

She rolled her eyes.

"I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. Was there any reason?" He could feel his pulse speeding again. Calm, he told himself. It probably isn’t anything.

She watched him carefully and he hoped that he wasn’t blushing.

"You’re blushing," she said finally. She smiled. "I was wondering if you wanted to stop by The Three Broomsticks next weekend for a Butterbeer." He watched her mutely. "It’s a Hogsmeade weekend," she clarified. Still he stared. "Well, say something," she added crossly.

Finally the words formed themselves. "Why wait? Let’s go now." Once there, the words were blurted out. James suppressed a groan at how moronic he must have sounded.

"Now?" She stared at him incredulously. "Never mind that we’d probably be expelled, how could we even get out?"

"I know a way," he insisted firmly.

"Will it involve your cloak?"

"Yeah." He smiled wickedly. "Trust me, it’ll be lots of fun."

She laughed. He felt his stomach twist, and it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. Hesitantly, she placed her hand in his. "Let’s go, then. It’ll be dark soon."

"And that’s a bad thing because?"

She laughed again, shaking her head.

"Dissendium," James looked both ways before tossing the duffel bag into the tunnel. "Quick, get in," he whispered.

Lily clambered into the gaping hole in the statue. She could hear footsteps approaching.

"Hurry up," she whispered back.

"Wait a sec, I’ll be right there." Then the opening closed between them, and Lily was trapped in darkness. It took all her control to not scream. She found herself wondering if she was claustrophobic. To busy herself, she thought about James. That helped distract her, although she was getting the queerest fluttering feelings in her stomach. And her knees tended to forget their purpose whenever she looked at him…

Meanwhile, the passageway seemed to be shrinking in on her in an alarming way. Just as she was ready to batter her way through the sculpture of the crone, the opening returned and he was there. "Lumos," he said. "Sorry about that. Snape was giving the statue really thoughtful looks, so I had to distract him."

"How?"

"Oh, I made really cruel remarks about his ancestors and his personal habits," James said carelessly. "He was doubtless deeply hurt by my words, and he’ll spend a few days fruitlessly planning to get revenge."

She remembered their last meeting and the burning hand print and she shivered. He put his arm around her, drawing her close. "Have to make sure you’re completely covered by the cloak," he said awkwardly.

Lily didn’t mind. She was rather occupied with his presence so close to hers and the delicious smell she had noted that long-ago night in the Common Room. As they continued, their steps falling in rhythm, she found it harder and harder to walk, and she found herself leaning on him. Her knees had turned to absolute mush and she really didn’t want to continue walking when there were so many better things they could be doing…

Apparently the same thought had occurred to him. "Maybe we should save that Butterbeer for a Hogsmeade weekend," he said huskily. She could only nod. He was so perfect in the glow of the light, his face lit on one side. Her breath caught again. He leaned in, and she mirrored his actions, closing the gap between them. As their mouths met, all guilt, any thoughts of Harold, any fears she had ever had were forgotten. There was nothing elegant about the kiss, and yet she valued it all the more for its awkwardness. It was the most natural, intoxicating feeling in the world.

Slowly, regretfully, they broke off the kiss. A shiver of pleasure shot through her body as his lips brushed her ear.

"Um," he gazed down, his hands hanging at his sides. He looked very uncomfortable. "About that potion, well." He stopped and Lily took the opportunity to place a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"It’s fine," she said softly. And with those words, it was fine. She no longer felt a strong desire to attack him with the Unforgivables. His kiss had been a very convincing argument, she thought wryly.

"I’m sorry, I really am. I was such a git to do that," he swallowed.

"I told you, it’s fine." She could see the disbelief in his eyes, and she laughed. "You can beat yourself over the head all you like, but I’ve already forgiven you."

"Oh." He looked relieved, but she could tell there was another question, and she suspected that she knew what it was.

"About Harold, I dumped him." She bit her lip.

"About Harold," he began at the same time. "Oh." They avoided each other’s eyes. "I’m saying that a lot today, aren’t I?"

"Yeah, you are."

"Well, I’ll have to make sure that I don’t say it any more."

"How?" Lily grinned. "With Spellotape?"

"No." James leaned forward abruptly and gripped her shoulders, one hand slowly trailing to her neck before moving up to her chin. Lily felt the hair on the back of her neck rising, and the world was a hectic flush of color, in which his hand was the only thing keeping her on her feet and her fingers, in the grip of his hand, were his only anchor to reality. They were the only reality. Everything else paled. "Like this," he whispered, and Lily was drowning in sweetness.

***

They walked back to the castle slowly, leaning into each other, pausing occasionally for a quick kiss.

"What a date," Lily said, moving to the side slightly to tuck her hair behind her ears. Suddenly, she realized how cold and alone she felt when she wasn’t next to him. Shivering in the dark tunnel, she stepped back to his side, and he put his arm around her waist.

"You certainly seemed fine to me. I’d even say you were enjoying yourself," he teased.

She felt her cheeks flushing. "So, shall we save that Butterbeer for Halloween?"

"Sounds like a plan."

Oh," she exclaimed, as she remembered the food in the bag at her side. She opened it and peered in. "I still have those breadsticks. Want some?" Mary wouldn’t mind, she assured herself. "Here," she pushed one between his lips.

"Mmm," he said, talking with his mouth full. He chewed and swallowed. "These are good. From the House Elves?"

"You know about them?" she asked, astounded.

"What did you think the Cloak was for?" He took another breadstick and fed it to her. They sat on the floor of the tunnel and ate their way through the bag. Finally, she pulled out the last one and traced her fingers across his lips gently before offering it to him.

"Let’s go," she said, jumping up. He looked at her imploringly with a breadstick in his mouth like a cigar and she laughed. "Oh, fine," she acquiesced as he reached up. Grabbing his wrists, she hauled up. Noticing a piece of paper that had fallen to the floor, she bent to pick it up and straightened. "I nearly forgot," she gasped. "I have a message for you."

"What is it?" he asked quizzically.

"Someone called Rae is supposed to meet a house elf named Sol. Or Solly. I think they’re the same person."

James frowned. "When?"

"Next weekend, Rae has to be at Hogsmeade, and Sol has to speak with her," she recited dutifully.

"Was that exactly what he said?"

"Yes. No. I don’t know. What did you think, that I found his words so interesting that I memorized them to I could quote them verbatim?"

"Well, I figured that you had nothing better to do," he said innocently.

"Perhaps usually, but I had other things on my mind today," she replied mischievously, and was rewarded by his blush. "You’re blushing," she added.

"So what?" he asked defensively.

"It’s cute." She laughed wickedly. She felt comfortable saying things to him now that she would have been embarrassed saying to any guy just a little while ago. She marveled at how much difference a little physical contact could make. Well, maybe not a little…she blushed again.

"What are you thinking about?" he said with interest. "You’re blushing now."

"Nothing," she said, a little too quickly.

"It wouldn’t be this, would it," he dipped his head down and her knees gave way. Lily’s last thought was ‘it’s going to be morning by the time we get back to Hogwarts.’