The Fic of Many Ships

Katey: I feel the need to write a little introduction before I start this fic. I hope you enjoy this lovely, wonderful, perfect, canon-

Harry: Puh-leese!

Katey: As I was saying....before I was so rudely interrupted...*looks daggers at Harry*... I love to make fun of all the ships that people somehow come up with. I usually just tell my funny thoughts to my friends...who will probably steal all of my material...and make millions off of it...and I'll be this poor, lonely..*isn't paranoid at all*...Anyway...I decided to put my natural talent and hilarity *brushes off shoulder* to something useful. Making fun of all of the ships. I promise that-

Ron: Wrap it up already!!

Hermione: Shut it, Ron.

Ron: You shut it, Hermione!!

Hermione: *glares at Ron* *runs toward Ron to attack him* *randomly starts snogging Ron*

Katey: This brings me to ship number uno...er...ichi...er...one...Yeah! That's it! Got the right language.

Draco: Finally...

Katey: *hisses at Draco*

Draco: *yelps and hides*

Katey: So...number one is Hermione/Ron. This could happen, most definately. Ron certainly likes Hermione, and Hermione probably likes Ron.

Hermione: No, I don't!

Katey: Yes, you do!

Hermione: Psh...I do not.

Ron: *teary-eyed* Are you saying our whole relationship has been a lie???

Hermione: What relationship?

Ron: Oh yeah. *stares into space*

Hermione: I have something to confess...I...love....

Dobby: Me?

Hermione: No, that's gross!

Dobby: Aww.....

Katey: You're not in this fic!

Dobby: Can I just hang out?

Katey: *sigh* Fine...

Dobby: Oh, goody!

Hermione: Isn't anyone curious who the next person I'll be paired with is?

Katey: Well...I'm really not wondering since it's my fic, but go ahead and say it!

Hermione: HARRY!!!!!

Harry: Cool!

Katey: And we reach ship # 2...Harry/Hermione.

Fred and George: Do we get to be in this fic?

Katey: Soon. Go away.

Fred and George: Alright.

Draco: May I cut in?

Katey: Sure!

Dobby: Wait-

Katey: I'm in charge here!

Dobby: Ok...*dejected*

Draco: *goes between them and turns to Hermione*

Hermione: Yes, Draco?

Draco: Beat it! Potter's mine! *randomly starts snogging Harry*

Katey: #3: Harry/Draco This one just baffles me. Harry is so obviously not gay. Draco on the other hand...

Draco: Hey!

Katey: Let me continue..Draco, on the other hand, could be gay, but he's not allowed to be because...I love, you Draco!! (#4: Little Momo and Draco)

Draco: *drops Harry* Cool!

Katey: *drags Draco into a closet with her*

Harry: Well..I guess I'll continue since LM and Draco are...busy...

*noises from closet*

Hermione: *twitches*

Harry: Ron?

Ron: No.

Harry: Ron?

Ron: No.

Harry: Ron?

Ron: Okay. *snogs Harry*

Katey(muffled): #5: Harry/Ron. Well....If they were gay...then who better to hook up with than your best friend?

Harry: My best friend's sister! *snogs Ginny*

Ron: *pouts*

Ginny: But I love...DRACO!!!

Katey: #6: Draco/Ginny. Mine.

Hermione: But I love Draco, too!

Katey: #7 Draco/Hermione. MINE!!!

Ginny: But-

Katey: Mine!

Hermione: But-

Katey: MINE!!!!

Blaise Zabini: But I love Draco! Even if I am a guy! I loved Draco when people thought I was a girl, too!

Katey: #8 Draco/Blaise. MINE!! How many times do I have to say it?? Mine.

Draco: *sticks his head out of closet, face covered in lipstick-prints* Hers. *goes back in and slams the door*

Fred and George: Can we get to our ships now?

Katey: Ok, ok...*sticks head out of closet* #9: Fred/Angelina. This one is used because Fred asked Angelina t the Yule Ball. Whoop-de-doo...

Angelina: Cool! I'm mentioned in a fic..

Fred: Snogs Angelina.

Angelina: You're supposed to actually do it, not just say it...never mind, though...because I love...LEEE JORDAN!!!!

Katey: #10 Lee/Angelina. Mostly only used because Lee said something like..."Johnson looks great out there. I've been telling her that for years, and she still won't go out with me," While commentating a quidditch match.

Lee: Awesome. I'm mentioned in a fic too! Awesome! And I get to kiss someone, too! *Snogs Angelina*

Angelina: *takes Lee into the closet*

Draco: Hey! This is our closet!

Lee: Sorry about that....*continues to snog Angelina and takes her into a closet that randomly appears for their convenience*

Fred: *pouts*

George: My turn!

Katey: George is usually paired with either Alicia or Katie.

George: *lights up* At the same time??

Katey: Eww...no!

George: Damn...

Katey: #11: George/Alicia.

Alicia: *jumps into George's arms* Yay!

George: *snogs Alicia*

Katey: #12: George/Katie

Katie: But-But...I'm also often paired with...

Oliver: ME!!

Katey: #13: Katie/Oliver

Oliver: *snogs Katie* But...I've been paired with...

Katey: #14: Oliver/Percy

Percy: But what about...

Katey: #15: Percy/Penny. This one is rather obvious, as they went out...*sigh*

*pairs all jump into randomly appearing closets*

The pairs arrrrrreeee....:

Harry: Wait!

Katey: What?

Harry: You forgot #16: Harry/Cho!

Cho: Finally I'm in here!

Katey: Fine..The Pairs arrrreeee....

Harry and Cho!

Ron and Hermione!

Lee and Angelina!

George and Alicia!

Oliver and Katie!

Percy and Penelope!

Katey and Draco!

Ok, I'm bored now. If there are any left, then that's nice cause I'm not writing them out.

Goodbye from the closet!

Draco: *continues to snog Katey*