The Things We do for Peace and Quiet

The Things We Do for Peace and Quiet

by Kate O'Neal

Hermione sat on her bed, with her Potions book spread out in front of her, trying to study. She was only merely trying because every few minutes loud, obnoxious giggles would break out from Parvati's bed across the room, where she was gossiping with Lavender. Of course, it wasn't much better in the common room. She had come up from there an hour ago when, for the fifth time, a particularly over-zealous knight of Harry's had been thrown off the chess board by Ron's queen, only to hit Hermione in the knee, tearing her robes with his miniature sword. Harry had grimaced at the loosing of his knight, while Ron had gotten up and scooped up the piece from the floor ("Mi'lady, do forgive me! Did my sword hurt thee? Allow me to make it up to thou . . .!")

"All right, Hermione?" he had asked, raising his eyes to hers and looking slightly concerned. He's so adorable when he's worried. Hermione had thought. The way his hair line raises, and how his ears turn red . . . Here she had let out a dreamy sigh.

"Hermione?" Ron had prompted her, putting his hand on her forearm.

"Oh!" Hermione jolted back into reality at his touch, blushing madly, "I'm fine. Just fine. I, uh, I think I'm going to go study upstairs. Can't hear a thing down here . . ." And with that, she had lept out of her chair and practically fled the room.

And now, after another half-an-hour of mad giggling interrupting her studying and her thoughts on her embarrassment at her exit from the common room, Hermione was fed up. "Could you two please keep it down? I'm trying to study. Honestly, what could be so funny?"

Lavender and Parvati stopped giggling and looked at Hermione.

"We're playing Truth or Dare." Lavender said in a superior voice as though that answered everything.

"Oh, that stuff's nonsense," Hermione huffed. "It's such a silly game."

Lavender looked hurt. Parvati looked at Hermione for a few seconds, and then her face lit up as though she had a brilliant idea. She whispered frantically in Lavender's ear, and every once and a while, the two of them broke in to fits of giggles. Hermione shook her head and went back to reading her book.

"All right, Hermione," Parvati finally said, and Hermione glanced up, "if it's total nonsense, how about you do a little truth or dare for us?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and gave a short sarcastic laugh, going back to her book, "Don't be ridiculous," she said.

"I'm not being anything but serious. One question, and we'll leave you alone. Maybe we'll even leave the room."

Lavender gave a noise of protest at this last bit, but Parvati chose not to notice.

Hermione lifted her eyes to look up at Parvati and weighed her options. On one hand, Parvati and Lavender would take their game elsewhere and she could finally get a few of those moments of piece that she wanted so badly, but on the other hand she would have to participate in their silly game and her reputation could possibly be ruined.

What reputation? A little voice remarked snidely in her mind. Your reputation as a stuck up, dried up librarian type who is known behind closed doors as "The Homework Nazi"? Hermione wanted to tell the voice to shut up. Is that such a bad reputation to loose? It persisted. Hmmmm? The voice did have a slight point. Not that she'd ever tell anyone, but being known as "The Homework Nazi" didn't help her ego in any way.

"What would this question entail . . . ?" she asked slowly.

Parvati squealed and clapped her hands. She leaned forward eagerly and explained the game to Hermione. "The question depends on what you choose. It works like this: I asked you 'truth or dare' and you have to choose one. Then, depending on what you choose I then either ask you something about yourself and you have to answer truthfully or I dare you to do something."

"And you have to do it," Lavender added, solemnly.

Hermione resisted the urge to snort. "That's just stupid. Why force someone to do something if they don't want to?"

"It is not!" Lavender exclaimed, hurt, "Perhaps if you weren't so stand-offish, you'd understand, but under the circumstances . . ."

Hermione felt her temper rise a little. She was not 'stand-offish'. "All right then," she said, sticking her chin out stubbornly and not believing she was participating in this.

Parvati clasped her hands in her lap and leaned forward even more. "Truth or dare?" she whispered with great authority.

Hermione thought for a second. Now, a truth could be dangerous. Who knows what they could want me to reveal about myself. She blushed as she thought of what they might make her tell them, thinking briefly of Ron resting his hand on her arm earlier that night. But a dare could be completely humiliating . . .

Lavender and Parvati sat waiting. The excitement seemed to be slipping slowly off their faces the longer they waited.

"Er, Hermione?" Lavender asked, tentatively.

Truth or dare, truth or dare, truth or dare, druth or tare . . .

"Druth!" Hermione finally burst out, hardly knowing what she said.

Parvati and Lavender looked confused.

"I - I mean, truth," Hermione said, slightly calmer.

A sly smile crossed Parvati's face and she and Lavender whispered together conspirationaly. They broke apart a minute later and turned back to Hermione. Parvati sat up straighter and said (in rather too loud voice, Hermione thought), "Who-" and here she paused for great effect, "does Harry really like?"

Hermione was crestfallen. Harry? Honestly? Did she even care? "That isn't relating to me," she pointed out.

"Yes it is," Lavender said in a matter-of-fact tone. "He's your best friend, isn't he?"

"Well, one of them," Hermione said slowly and blushing slightly at the thought of Ron, "But that's not the point. The point is Parvati said 'ask something about yourself' and Harry isn't myself."

Lavender looked as though she seriously doubted that.

"Oh, fine," Parvati said. "But we have no more truths. Just give her a dare, Lav," she said, waving her hand carelessly at Lavender and falling back on the bed, "I'm too knackered to come up with anymore."

Lavender sat and thought hard. After a while, Hermione grew tired of waiting and went back to her Potions book. She hadn't gotten farther then half a page, though, when Lavender let out a small squeak of excitement. Hermione looked up. She was whispering very fast to Parvati, and a sly smile spread slowly across Parvati's face. She nodded, "Yes, yes. That's good. Yes, that will do."

Lavender turned to Hermione, "I dare you," she said softly, in a rather evil tone, "to sneak into the boy's dormitory and steal a boy's boxers."

This time Hermione really did snort. "You can't be serious," she said.

Lavender looked highly affronted. "I am."

"Steal a boy's boxers?" Hermione asked incredusly. "And what would I do with them, exactly?"

Parvati huffed, "Well, if you don't want them you can give them to us."

Lavender squeaked.

Not wanting to know what they would do with a pair of boy's boxers, Hermione asked, "Who's would I steal?"

Lavender and Parvati looked at each other and at the same time pronounced, "Harry's," in an almost reverent whisper.

"Oh, honestly! I am not going to steal Harry's boxers and give them to you."

Lavender grinned evilly, "Oh, yes you are. It's in the rules, you have to do what ever we ask. What ever."

"And anyway," Parvati added, "if you want us to leave you have to do what we ask."

"Merlin's ghost." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll steal you Harry's boxers." Never let it be said that Hermione Granger doesn't follow the rules, Hermione thought as she got off her bed and made her way into the hallway.

"Godspeed, Hermione!" Parvati gave her an absurd little salute as she left, and she and Lavender burst into a fit of giggles.

The only sound that came from the common room was a faint popping from the dying fire, as Hermione tip-toed down the dormitory stairs and across the carpeted floor.

I can't believe I'm doing this. This is so stupid! Harry's boxers? Honestly. What if someone wakes up when I come in? Or worse, what if someone is already awake? What if Harry's awake? Do I just ask him for them? "Sorry to bother you, Harry, but in order to get a few minutes peace I have to give Parvati and Lavender a pair of your boxers. D'you think you can spare one?" The whole thing sounded stupid to Hermione, and the nearer she crept to the dormitory door, the more nervous she got. Merlin's ghost. What if Ron is awake? What if he sees me with Harry's boxers? Will he think I like Harry? Oh God . . . Hermione paused at the door. Should she go in? She listened carefully for a few moments, and didn't hear anything. She finally decided that none of the boys were awake, and it was ok to enter. Taking a deep breath, she slowly pushed open the door, stopping when it started to squeak. There was a brief rustle of blankets as one of the boys turned over and Hermione held her breath as she waited to make sure he settled back down. Finally, deeming the coast to be clear she crept inside.

"Harry's bed is the third one down," she whispered, reminding herself where to go. "One . . . two . . . three." She stopped at the foot of the third bed and looked down at the trunk. It looked enough like Harry's, but then again it was very dark in the room. Hermione stood, contemplating the trunk for a few minutes before coming to the conclusion that, even if it wasn't Harry's trunk, boxers were boxers and Parvati and Lavender wouldn't know the difference if she grabbed Seamus'. Quietly as she could, Hermione knelt down in front of the trunk and slowly lifted up the lid.

Inside the contents were a mess. Clothing was tossed every which way, and a very old, very battered copy of Quidditch Through the Ages was lying on what looked to be a sock, though the strange growth that was coming out the open end could contradict that. Holding her breath, she started to root around. She came across several pairs that were lying, unfolded in the mess, but due to the state of the sock Hermione seriously doubted the cleanliness of them. Finally she happened upon a pair of boxers that were still folded, and upon smelling inspection, deemed to be clean. Slowly she stood up and quietly shut the lid of the trunk. She started to tip-toe back out of the room, concentrating on the underwear clutched in her left hand, and the sliver of light that was coming from the slightly open door. Unfortunately, she completely missed the trunk of the first bed, which was thrown out at an odd angle.

She muffled her cry, but the dull THUMP of her ankle hitting the trunk seemed to resonate throughout the dorm. There was a rustle from the third bed and a sleep thickened voice wavered out from behind the curtains.

"Who's there?"

Hermione's eyes widened and she froze. Ron. Ron was in the third bed. She looked in horror at the boxers in her hand. Ron's boxers. Oh God! Hermione blushed forcefully. She was holding Ron's underwear. Ron's underwear that had touched his -.

"Hullo?"

Hermione didn't answer. Maybe she could make it out without him noticing. She started back toward the door. Behind her there was a brief fumbling and then:

"Hermione?"

Oh, great Merlin's ghost! She thought, frantically, He's opened the curtains. He's seen me. Panicking, Hermione turned around, shoving the boxers behind her back.

"O-ho. Ron. Er . . . Hullo."

"Hermione, what are you doing in here?"

"Um, nothi?" She blushed hard.

"Ha ha, nice try. Why are you really here?"

"Would you believe me if I said I was the tooth fairy?"

Ron chuckled. Hermione blushed harder. "No, I wouldn't," he said.

"Hmm, well then. As much as I would love to stand here and chat with you about why I'm in your room in the middle of the night and in the dark, I do need to go. Bye!" With that, Hermione turned around and almost ran towards the door.

There was a creak of the bedsprings as Ron leapt out of bed and grabbed Hermione wrist. He spun her around to face him.

"Again, nice try. Now are you going to tell me or - Are those my boxers?!" Ron held up Hermione's hand level with his eyes d peered through the dark at the underwear in her hand.

Hermione dropped her head. Her life was over. Clear and simple. It was over.

"Maybe?" she said quietly.

In the faint light from the hallway Hermione could see Ron blush from his neck to his hair line. She wondered briefly if everything covered by his pajamas was blushing too, but she quickly squashed that thought down as it was inappropriate and not the best thing to wonder when she was just caught trying to steal Ron's boxers.

"N-not that I'm not flattered, or anything . . . but . . . d'you mind if I ask why?"

Well, Hermione thought, if her life was over she might as well explain and die without the thought plaguing her that Ron though she had purely snuck in to steal his underwear. She heaved a great sigh and told him.

"I was trying to get some peace and quiet so that I could study and Parvati and Lavender said they'd leave if I played their stupid game. So I agreed and they told me that they would leave if I stole them Harry's boxers."

"But you're holding mine," Ron pointed out.

"Well, yes. That's the catch. I thought it was Harry in the third bed."

Ron shook his head. "Earlier this year he asked if we could switch. Neville's snores kept him up at night." He jerked his thumb back at the second bed. As if on cue a loud, non-human sounding snort sounded from the other side of the curtains.

"Oh," Hermione said quietly.

"And since when has the Great Hermione Granger stooped to the level of two bubble-headed girls to get what she wants? Hmm?" Through the attempted disapproving look on his face, Hermione could see an amused twinkle in Ron's eyes. "As I recall, your use of sheer scariness is enough to frighten me and Harry into doing anything. Well," he amended, "almost anything, at least."

"Ha, ha. Shut up." How dare her point out her mistakes!

The pair of them stood silently for a few minutes, Ron amused and embarrassed, Hermione infuriated and embarrassed. The soft whispers of Parvati and Lavender floated up the staircase and into the room, breaking their quiet.

"Hermione? Hermione, you all right in there?" Parvati's voice sounded slightly concerned.

"Do you have them yet?" Lavender's was eager.

Hermione glared at Ron and then tip-toed over to the door. "Almost got them," she whispered down.

"Okay," the other girl's chorused.

Hermione came back over to where Ron stood. "So, uh, here," she shoved the boxers back at him. "I'll just, um, grab Harry's and . . ."

Ron looked at them for a second then pushed them back at her, "Keep them. Harry's trunk is locked. Use them for your dare so you can study."

Hermione was shell shocked. Ron just gave her his boxers. Never mind what he had just said about her mistake, he just gave her his underwear! Ron was blushing even harder.

"Are - are you sure?" she asked, not quite daring to believe it.

"Yeah," Ron said really quickly. "Anyway," he added as if it solved everything, "they're maroon. I hate maroon."

"Oh. All right then." Hermione said pointlessly. They stood in silence for another moment, not looking at each other.

"I, uh, I should get back to sleep," Ron said.

"Yeah. Thanks," Hermione said quickly.

"No problem."

Turning around at the same time, she and Ron practically ran in opposite directions as quickly as they could. Ron, back to his bed, and Hermione, clutching the boxers convulsively, from the room, shutting the door behind her. Breathing heavily, Hermione collapsed against the wall opposite the dormitory.

He just gave me his boxers. I am holding Ron's boxers in my hands. Ronald Weasley wears maroon boxers and I am holding them in my hands! Hermione let out a small squeal of excitement. She hardly dared to believe what just happened. Studying suddenly didn't matter so much to her. There is no way I am giving these over to Parvati and Lavender. They can complain all they want. He gave them to me. They are mine. Oh gosh, but he's given me his boxers, what's he going to wear now? Is he going to go commando? Here Hermione turned a brilliant shade of red. Don't be silly, she shook her head sadly, he must have more then one pair. Finally, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, she made her way quietly back to the common room and waved the boxers at Parvati and Lavender. The two girls leapt from their seat on the couch next to the fire and flung themselves at the fluttering underwear.

"They're mine!" Lavender shouted. "The dare was my idea!"

"I'm prettier! I get to keep them!" Parvati exclaimed.

They jumped up and tried to grab the boxers from Hermione's raised arm, pushing each other out of the way.

Still flushed from her encounter with Ron, and the blood pounding through her veins rather painfully that he let her keep his boxers Hermione firmly shook her head. "Sorry girls," she said, "But I'm going to be keeping these."

"What? No!" Lavender gasped, "You can't do that!"

"You said you didn't want them!" Parvati whined.

"Yes, well, I've changed my mind. I want them now. And you two have to find somewhere else to finish your game." Hardly able to hide her grin behind her hand, and using all her willpower not to flounce, Hermione turned around and headed up the staircase to her bed.

"I bet she's going to give them back to him," Lavender said mournfully.

"I'll bet she saw Harry naked in bed and changed her mind," Parvati said. "Ooh, I wonder what he looks like naked . . ." Once again the girls broke into giggles.

Upstairs, Hermione sat on her bed, looking at the boxers in her hands. Ron's boxers. Giggling like Lavender and Parvati, she shoved them under her pillow and settled her Potions book on top of it to study. After a few minutes, though, she slipped her hand under the pillow and held on to the boxers just to make sure they were still there, and didn't let go of them, even when she fell asleep on her book fifteen minutes later, a small, satisfied smile on her face.