Queer & There

Chapter Sixteen
A Step Backwards

"It was slightly amusing actually, didn't you think?"

Draco gave a bit of a smile, and shook his head in slight disbelief. "I don't think amusing is the word Harry would have used, actually." He gave Remus a pointed look, and the older man shrugged, apparently not fazed. "But, he's a good looking boy."

"And I'm even rumoured to have a personality," Charlie grinned as he emerged through the front door of Remus Lupins' home. "Hi, Draco. Another session?"

Draco managed a bit of a shrug, and sipped his glass of water. "Sort of."

"Feels like you're moving in too," Charlie remarked with a laugh, slipping out of his jacket and hanging it by the door. "You want a spare room?"

This annoyed Draco, who made a bit of a face at the Weasley and shook his head. He wasn't there all the time, not that he had noticed. Then again, he had visited Remus three time this week, and it was only Thursday. "I'm fine, thanks," he muttered.

"You are spending an awful lot of time here," Remus agreed, smiling slightly as Charlie dropped a kiss to his forehead in passing him. "Not that I mind, of course. It's nice to see you - you certainly seem to be settling into life with Harry.".

"What?" Draco felt a slight tightening in his chest that felt like anxiety. He wasn't sure where it came from. "What do you mean?"

Remus smiled reassuringly, although Draco could hardly say he felt any more comfortable because of it. He didn't like the assumptions that both the other men in the room seemed to be making. "I just think it's nice to see two boys settling down."

Draco felt the rush of anxiety again. "Well, we're not settling down - we're just living together and hanging out. It's not- it's not really a huge big deal."

"You seem pretty cosy to me," Charlie pointed out with a bit of a smile, and he gave Draco a bit of a friendly wink that Draco resented quite immensely. "No harm in that, kiddo."

Draco sighed heavily. "I'm just not usually a relationship type of guy. I don't tend to stick around."

He could see Charlie glance at Remus, and the older man seemed to notice something that Draco didn't, because he stood up and smiled at Draco, before leaving the room. Once he was gone, Charlie moved to sit beside the somewhat younger man now remaining alone with him in the room, and gave him a small smile.

"Look, there's nothing wrong with being with someone for the rest of your life, kid," Charlie pointed out with something of an amused smile, but his eyes conveyed more seriousness.

"Who said anything about the rest of my life?" Draco snapped, shifting his position to allow more space between himself and Charlie, who shrugged.

"Nobody did," Charlie admitted, quirking his brow a little. "But you can see its there- you and Harry, I mean. There's something there. You'd be pretty stupid if you didn't hold onto that."

Draco stood to his feet, and took a couple of steps toward the door. He did not feel any need to discuss this. "I should go," he said, only to be countered fairly quickly by Charlie remarking,

"I used to be like you as well. I think a lot of kids are like that, especially - well, if you make the right friends or whatever. You've probably slept around a lot, right?"

Draco shrugged. "I guess."

This tugged a smile on Charlie's lips. "Me too." He interrupted a disapproving noise from Draco, saying over it, "But you're growing up, Draco. You can take life as slow as you like, but you really shouldn't be suddenly getting all scared just because you're living with someone."

"I'm not scared. I'm just not making any promises."

Charlie smiled very slightly. "That'd be a pretty good plan if you really meant it, huh?"

At this, Draco's face hardened into a bit of a glare, and even he couldn't be sure if it was because Charlie was wrong - or because he was right. "Whatever. I have to go."

Charlie gave a little sigh, and he stood to his feet, touching Draco's arm gently with one hand. "I just don't want you to freak out. You're a good kid, you know."

"See you later, Weasley," Draco muttered, before opening the front door and letting it click shut easily behind him.

* * *

"Back a bit- no... a bit more. I said a bit more!" Draco called out, wincing as the last of the tables was placed down on the dark floor of Stage Two. It was two days after his visiting Remus, and he had managed to push away some of the annoyance that the visit had produced. He was achieving this by the pushing the club to its very limit. Almost everything was completely ready for the public.

He cocked his head and narrowed his eyes in an attempt to look extremely critical and then nodded. "Okay, down."

The table was placed down, and the assistant carrying it immediately fetched the two chairs that partnered it and set those down too. He looked at Draco hopefully.

Draco sighed. "It looks - fine." He glanced around the entirety of the club and then realised that, actually, it looked fairly perfect. Everything was in place, everything was immaculately clean, and there was a small cage in the corner filled with tiny silver birds ready to fly through the streets of Diagon Alley and spread the word- a new club was opening tomorrow evening, and it was going to be fabulous.

Perhaps it was a bit hasty to decide on an opening night without Harry, but Draco had decided that he could get all of the last touches ready whilst his partner was busy - it was the other boy's turn for a day with Remus Lupin. Draco knew it was entirely possible that Harry would be in the process of trying to persuade the older man to leave his boyfriend, Charlie Weasley. Draco gave a small shudder of recollection.

"So, you think Harry's going to be okay with this?" Hermione asked from one of the booths in the corner closest to where Draco stood. She raised an eyebrow and gave the blond a curious expression.

Draco shrugged. "I don't see why not."

This was rewarded with a quirk of the same eyebrow, and a small knowing smile. "Draco, you know what he's like. Harry doesn't tend to- he's not very good with spontaneity."

"Well, he never bloody plans anything," Draco grumbled, looking skyward as though to demonstrate his frustration with said trait. "And if he does, he doesn't actually ever stick to it."

Hermione glanced over at this, and Draco could tell she was once again full of curiosity. He wondered how much Harry told her about their relationship. She seemed to be under the impression that Draco knew rather a lot about him, which Draco supposed he did. It was actually slightly unnerving.

"Problems?" she asked, and Draco gave her a Look. "I thought things were going considerably well. Aren't you speaking to Remus about- things?"

Draco scowled and settled down in the booth opposite Hermione. It was not that he was growing tired of relating his problems and issues to Remus Lupin after three weeks of doing so but... well, actually it was exactly that. He was becoming bored, and impatient, and rather wanted to be left alone.

He did not say this, but instead remarked, "It's just stupid, isn't it?"

"What is?"

Draco shrugged. "Well, it's not even like I really have any problems. Or ever did, actually." He gave a self satisfied nod and hopped out of his seat - he needed a drink. "Want anything from the bar?"

There was a pause from Hermione, who seemed to be reserving judgement by the expression on her face, before she shook her head. "No, thank you. I like to wait until after four in the afternoon before I start drinking." She gave Draco a pointed look.

"I'm getting non alcoholic," Draco insisted, but Hermione just smiled and waved him off with her hand. He managed a smile before wandering to the bar and stepping behind it. Before reaching for a bottle, he looked out on the area and realised- in a day's time, he would be running this. He and Harry would be running a bar. Together.

It was slightly scary. He stood still for a moment, before motioning to one of his employees to come over.

"I think we can let the birds out now," Draco remarked, motioning to one of the silver birds that was now darting around the club for some quick exercise.

"Okay - into the Alley?"

"Yeah," Draco said, his eye on the small silver missile. It's direction seemed slightly off, and it kept narrowly missing things. "Go for it."

* * *

After an hour or so of making his way through the shops on Diagon Alley, Draco forced himself to return home. He had been hunting for the perfect outfit to open Stage Two, but had found himself feeling somewhat half hearted. He supposed he should tell Harry about the opening, and it was now late afternoon. The other man still didn't know. Draco considered this slightly unfortunate.

As he opened the door to the small apartment they shared, the first thing he noticed was a familiar silver bird settled beside his own owl, who was pecking at it quietly, while the much smaller creature chirped angrily.

The second thing he was approached by was his boyfriend, and he looked angry.

"Why are we opening tomorrow?" Harry asked with a frown, and Draco rolled his eyes. He pulled off his jacket and shrugged. "Draco-"

"It's only one night earlier," Draco remarked with another shrug, and he set down the bags of clothes he had managed to pick up despite not having brilliantly fond feelings towards them - but it felt wrong to come home with nothing. "What's the big deal?"

Harry paused for a long moment, before seeming to back down. His facial expression levelled out slightly, and it was his turn to shrug now. "Nothing, I guess. You just should have told me."

"It was going to be a surprise," Draco muttered, pulling out a soft white shirt and tossing it at Harry. "That's yours."

Harry looked surprised. "You bought me something?"

"Wear it tomorrow," Draco replied, managing the slightest of smirks. "Otherwise goodness knows what you'd put on and consider fashion. You have to be cool if you're going into the club business."

This seemed to calm Harry as well, and he held the shirt out to take a better look at it. Seemingly pleased enough, he smiled at Draco. "I thought you already thought I was cool."

Draco gave a non-committal sound in response to this, and took the other two items from the bag he had set on the floor - a pair of dark coloured jeans, and a sleeveless black top. Both things appeared to be tight fitting. "You're getting there."

He wasn't sure why he felt crowded, especially given that Harry was on the other side of the room, but that was the only word he could fit to his current frame of mind. In fact, it was a good word to use for the whole week or so since Charlie and Remus had been round for the dinner date.

There was a long silence as Draco set away his clothing for that night over the back of the couch, and Harry seemed to be watching him. After a moment, Draco heard him ask, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Draco said immediately, before giving a bit of a sigh and shrugging. "It's- nothing, really."

Harry raised his eyebrows a bit, and his voice sounded almost wounded as he pressed, "What's nothing? Did I do something?" He looked younger than usual, Draco thought.

"No... not really. I mean, I'm just sort of tired of all the 'you and me' stuff." Draco sighed as Harry's frown became deeper, and he added quickly, "It's just- our club. Our apartment - your friends, your Remus Lupin, your pretty much everything. It's a little much."

"Well, what exactly am I supposed to do about that?" Harry seemed annoyed, and Draco sighed - this hadn't been a conversation he particularly wanted to have. "You wanted to open the club, and you wanted to see Remus. We're together, we share things. It's not like you don't know what being in a relationship means, Draco."

Draco swallowed slightly and glanced away from Harry momentarily before catching his gaze again. "I'm not usually a relationship sort of guy," he replied quietly. As he echoed his words from the previous day, he sighed slightly, and he could see that Harry was worried by the permanent crease in his forehead.

Harry's tone of voice was harsher as he snapped, "Look, Draco, I'm sorry if you're usually a get in and get out kind of guy, but that's not really my problem. You said you wanted to be with me, alright? So you are."

There was another long pause, and Draco could feel his heart pounding in his chest. His breath was slightly tighter than it usually was, and he felt even more claustrophobic than he had done only minutes ago. He didn't say anything.

"Draco... I really like you," Harry said quietly now, stepping forward toward the blond man. Draco resisted the sudden need to step back, and allowed the other boy to brush their lips together. "I've never really known anyone like you."

Draco managed a soft laugh, although he couldn't feel any real amusement behind it, so much as a certain irony. "Is that a good thing?" he asked quietly, and he could still feel Harry's mouth underneath his own. He drew back slightly.

"I don't know." Harry shrugged and smiled slightly, and he seemed to be visibly calming down. Draco wasn't sure that he should be, because he only felt more anxious than he had done. "You drive me crazy. But I- I don't know. You really get to me."

Swallowing a bit, Draco mumbled, "Still not seeing how that's a good thing, though." He pulled back properly, and Harry frowned again. "Maybe we just need to cool it a bit."

Harry's expression became one of slight alarm, "But- Draco, we have a business."

"Well, if that's all you care about-" Draco pulled away from the other man completely.

"That's not what I meant! Draco, look- what do you mean, cool it a bit? What does that mean? Do you want to break up? Do you-"

Draco cut him off with a frustrated, "Stop- asking questions. Shut up a minute. I don't know."

"You want to break up," Harry echoed himself quietly, sounding so resigned that Draco could feel his stomach do a flip. He didn't want to break up.

He was quiet a moment, and he knew that the right thing to do would be to immediately disagree with this. He could see the other man becoming more and more worked up by the second, and he didn't like it all.

"I just need a little time to think about things." Draco sighed, and looked down at his feet - he didn't want to see Harry's face. "I'm feel really... trapped."

In response to this, Harry mumbled, "I didn't mean to make you feel trapped."

"Yeah, well, it's not just you," Draco admitted, and gave a deep sigh. "I'm going to spend tonight somewhere else, I think. Maybe my mother's." He looked up again.

Harry seemed somewhat distraught. "What about the club? What am I supposed to do about - it's opening tomorrow!"

"You can take care of it, you'll be fine."

"It was your idea, Draco! You decided to open it early, and now you're just- leaving me to sort it all out? You're just pissing off elsewhere?"

Draco shrugged, and began to fold up the brand new jeans that suddenly seemed pointless. He was quiet, until Harry spoke up again.

"What, did you plan this on purpose or something? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"You can take care of it," Draco repeated quietly, swallowing slightly. "I won't be gone long."

"Draco." Harry's tone was strict, and annoyed, and Draco felt a stab of guilt in his stomach. "Draco. You're not going anywhere."

This seemed to flip a switch in Draco, and he glared at Harry a bit. "You can't just tell me what to do, you know. I don't have to stay here just because you tell me to."

Harry looked hurt. "How about because you want to, Draco?"

Draco frowned. "I'll call you." And before Harry could say anything else, he stepped back toward the door and left.