The Extremely Private Communal Notebook

Dear Moony, Wormtail, and Padfoot:

You lot just don't get the specialness of the relationship that I share with the wonderful Miss Evans. We have a unique love/hate relationship. Right now we just happen to be in the "hate" phase...for the last five years. The point is, she wants me.

Wormtail, she's already in my wank bank. In fact, she's the only one in there. Obsession-wise, I've never caught you snogging my dirty underwear, so don't worry, I know you're at least semi-sane. As for the girl thing, there's a real nice girl in Ravenclaw. She's friends with Evans. Maybe you and I can talk them into a double date for next Hogsmeade weekend. Deal?

Moony, please talk to Evans for me! You're still hung up over dearest Minerva? I thought you got over that last summer. And for the love of God, man, cast a silencing charm around your bed at night if you insist on talking in your sleep. "Oh, Minerva, yes, yes, yes (moan), Minerva!" Disgusting. See ya tomorrow night. We'll come by after dark. Think you'll be all right until we get there? Good luck, buddy.

Padfoot, ha. That's all I've got to say. Susie won't come near enough to puff your anything. Also, leave my mum out of this.

Well, off to Transfiguration. Sorry you're missing it, Moony.

Yours in anticipation,

Prongs

Dear Moony, Padfoot, and Prongs:

Miss ya, Moony. See ya this evening. Well, sort of...you know what I mean.

Prongs, again, get over Lily. You're doomed to forever be in the "hate" phase, I'm afraid.

Padfoot, I'm not a horny little git, and I'll ask out that Ravenclaw friend of Lily's before the next Hogsmeade weekend. Please don't sic McGonagall, aka Moony's lover, on me! I'm terrified of that woman! She's gonna eat me one day, I just know it! Last week, she was looking at me, licking her lips, all...hungry. It's most disturbing.

Well, I better go. It's time to head out to the Shack.

Yours in leaving,

Wormtail

Dear Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs:

Another full moon, another transformation, eh? You know, if I must be a werewolf, I'm thankful for you guys. You know that, right?

Wormtail, good luck asking out Lily's friend. Glad you missed me. Last night was fun, eh?

Prongs, fine! I'll speak to Lily for you! Yes, I'm still quite fond of Minerva. Get over her? Never. Oh, Prongs, I do not talk in my sleep, and I would never dream such impurities about Minerva! How dare you accuse me of such things?!

Padfoot, of course I do a full-room Sourgify! You could never steal Minerva from me. You really shouldn't bring mothers into this.

Once again, thank you boys so much for making life bearable.

Gratefully yours,

Moony

P.S. Now, where's that fire-whiskey? Time for the booze-up!

Dear Moony, Wormtail, and Prongs:

Glad to see your arse has been de-sticked, Moony. Yes, you do talk in your sleep and it is extremely disgusting. Mr. High-and-Mighty, yes you do have naughty dreams about our glorious Transfiguration teacher. I could too steal McGonagall from you! If I wanted to, that is...

Prongs, shut up. See Wormtail's entry.

Wormtail, if the ickle-kitty tries to eat you, she'll have me to deal with. Good luck with the date. Again, great idea to steal fire-whiskey. Post-full moon booze-up was a major success. Perhaps we should make it a monthly thing?

Well, off to potions.

Yours in a (STILL!) drunken stupor,

Padfoot