Topsy Turvy

Topsy Turvy

Chapter Seven: Scrawny, Long-Haired, Middle Aged Men Gone Wild!

It all happened so quickly. One minute Remus Lupin had blown up the door and burst into the room and the next thing Hermione knew, Lupin and Snape were in a fist fight. It didn't help that Draco Malfoy, Peter Pettigrew, and Percy Weasley kept chanting, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. It would've been much more practical if Lupin had chosen to attack Snape with his wand and magic, but a fist fight? Really, she thought he was one of the professors with some sense.

The two men were on the ground now, slamming each other's faces into the floor. Hermione could hear screams of "GET OFF ME!" and "DIE TRAITOR!"

Personally, Hermione thought it was the stupidest thing she'd ever seen. But, it wasn't every day that you got to see two scrawny, long-haired, middle aged men trying to kill each other.

In the end, Malfoy, Pettigrew, Percy, and Neville had to pull the two wizards apart. But Lupin wouldn't have it. "Let me at him! Let me at him!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, again. "Professor Lupin, if you'd just shut up for a minute, we can explain everything."

"What? Explain? Ha!" Lupin continued to struggle.

He probably would've gotten loose, too, if Percy hadn't of smashed a lamp against his head.

Lupin fell to the ground. "Ow."

Percy shrugged casually. Hermione had the feeling that he'd been wanting to do that for a long while.

The sound of footsteps came from outside. "That must be Professor Gravis," Neville said.

Lupin gave out a small shriek. "Forma Gravis? The spaz?"

Peter Pettigrew whimpered. Again. "Forma Gravis. The psychopath."

Snape sneered. "Forma Gravis. The..."

But, whatever word he was going to say was stifled as the dark haired woman walked into the room.

"What's going on here?" Gravis asked. She looked around the room. "Remus?" Remus turned away. "Peter?" Peter backed up. Gravis seemed confused. Then she caught a glimpse of Snape. Her eyes narrowed. She scowled. "Severus."

"Forma," Snape said with equal spite.

Gravis turned to Hermione. "What are they doing here?"

"Uh..." Hermione began.

"They're going to raise the dead," Percy said.

"What?!" Gravis and Lupin said in unison.

"Raise the dead," Percy repeated.

Gravis replied. "You'd better not be lying to me. I hate it when people lie to me."

Suddenly, the couch caught on fire. Hermione had a feeling that it had something to do with Gravis. Pettigrew leapt up. "Oh, no! Not again! It's just like what happened in our third year when James said her shirt made her look fat. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Lupin shook his head in disbelief. He hadn't seen Forma Gravis since she had blown up three buildings with her eyes after she found out who had won the Quidditch World Cup. Forma Gravis the Spaz was a dangerous person to have around.

"I'm not lying," Percy said, inching away from Gravis. "We're going to raise the dead, and that's that." He folded his arms, a defiant look in his eyes.

Gravis laughed. "Tell me, how are you going to do that?"

Percy thought for a moment. "Now that I think about it, I really don't know."

"Then who does?" Gravis asked.

Everyone looked around the room. But, ultimately, their gaze fell on Snape.

Gravis rolled her eyes. "Him? Ha!"

As she said, "Ha!" a lamp shattered into hundreds of pieces.

Of course, this meant that the two lamps that had been in the room at the beginning of the night were both broken and everything was pitch black.

"Lumos," several people said, their wands lighting up.

"Alright," Gravis started, "When are you planning on, um, raising the dead, did you say?"

"Tomorrow," Snape said.

Gravis smirked. "Well, I'll make sure to stop by." With that, she exited.

"Okay, that was weird," Malfoy said. "How did she set the couch on fire and break the other lamp?"

"Forma tends to lose her temper easily," Lupin answered. "There's no telling what can happen then."

"Yes, that was definitely weird," Malfoy repeated.

"Stupid is more like it," Hermione said.

Everyone was quiet for a moment. "I'm beginning to think..." Snape began.

"'Bout time," Lupin muttered.

Snape continued, "That we'll need more people around when we do it. To hold the bodies down in case some of them jump up."

"Hey, if we got jumping bodies, I'm out of here," Malfoy said.

"Exactly who are you planning to raise from the dead?" Lupin asked.

"Nobody you'd be interested in," Snape replied.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Of course he'd be interested in it! We're raising Dumbledore, the Potters, and Sirius Black, after all!"

Lupin's eyes widened. "But, how?"

Hermione sighed. They'd been over this too many times, lately. "Okay, let me make this quick: Anyone who 'died' from the Avada Kedavra isn't really dead but is in a sleep-like death and we're going to wake them up. Alright?"

"Alright," Lupin said, though by the confused look in his eyes he didn't look like it was.

Hermione stood up. "Okay, I'm out of here."

"Wait a minute," Lupin said. "I don't trust them. I'm not leaving." He glanced at Snape, Malfoy, and Pettigrew.

"Here, I'll stay too," Percy said.

"Oh, no you won't," Snape said, gritting his teeth.

"Yes I will," Lupin said defiantly.

"Me, too!" Percy added.

Snape sighed. "Alright. You can take the couch."

Lupin looked at the couch. It was just ashes now. "Great."

Lupin got off the floor (he'd been lying on the floor since he had that lamp smashed upside he head. Don't ask why). "Hermione," Lupin began, "You, Neville, and Luna should get back to Hogwarts."

Hermione nodded. "C'mon," she said to Neville and Luna. Before exiting, she turned. "Till tomorrow."

Neville and Luna followed Hermione out. Hermione could've sworn she'd heard Lupin ask, "Hey, does anyone have any chocolate? Anyone?"

Right before Disapparating, Neville asked, "Hermione, do you really trust them?"

Hermione, who thought that people were saying "them" in italics far too much, replied, "Yes. I think I do."

Neville shrugged. "Well, I guess we'll find everything out tomorrow."

Hermione nodded. "I suppose so."