The Seven Deadly Sins

The first person Hermione encountered was Ron.

"Ron!" She began, out of breath, "I had the best idea for Halloween! We should each go as one of the seven deadly sins! You know, as a costume!?"

Ron looked at her strangely. He had no idea why Hermione was getting so worked up.

"Yeah, sure, I'll do it. So...what am I down for? Lust? Because you know, nobody can control themselves around me. I'm just so deliciously irresistible..."

Hermione laughed in his face.

"No, silly. That's Malfoy. I have you down for Anger."

Predictably, Ron got pissed.

"Well, what's so hot about Malfoy? Jesus, every girl in this bloody school just throws themselves at him. I don't get it! And I don't get why you would assign me to Anger!"

Ron's voice began to slowly increase in volume.

"I am actually a VERY levelheaded person! And if you can't see that, then...well, I don't know!"

Hermione laughed in his face yet again.

"I think it suits you, actually. So I can put you down for yes? Good. Great. One down, five to go."

She walked away.

Ron, confused, muttered to himself something about crazy costume Nazis and stalked off in the other direction.

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Meanwhile, Hermione had her eyes peeled for one of the other five...lucky contestants.

She was so lost in planning that she almost missed the Fat Lady.

"Password?"

"If you were a deadly sin, which would you be?" Hermione queried.

"No, I'm sorry dear, that's not...oh. Well, don't tell anyone, but I would most definitely be Lust. You see, dearie, there's a portrait on the second floor staircase of an alchemist, and he can do the most wonderful things with his-"

"Fillibuster's Fireworks!" Hermione shrieked.

Petulant, the Fat Lady swung forward.

As Hermione was crawling through she heard the portrait muttering to herself. Something about transfiguration and changing length. What? Hermione thought, confused. Oh, ew. That's just wrong.

Hermione did a quick scan of the common room and immediately spotted Parvati. She was sprawled on the couch closest to the fire, lazily levitating a copy of Teen Witch. The front screamed in bold fonts things like "Behind Magical Lip Gloss-A Tale of Plumping, Polished, Perfect Puckers" and "It's Witchcraft! Learn How to Bewitch Hapless Schoolboys in Three Easy Steps!"

Hermione approached the fireplace slowly, cautiously.

"Parvati?"

She glanced up from her magazine, quickly marked her page with her wand, and regarded Hermione regally.

"Yes, dearest Hermione? To what do I owe the pleasure of your company on this lovely autumn day?"

"Um, well, I actually have a favor to ask you." Hermione was stammering. "Do you know anything about the Muggle customs for Halloween?"

"Of course, Hermione? What do you take me for, the town fool?"

Hermione wondered why Parvati sounded as if she had just stepped out of a bad eighteenth century "society" film.

"Um, no. Of course...not, Parvati. So you already are aware of the whole going in costume affair?"

"Well, no."

"Okaay. Well, Muggles dress in costumes on Halloween, and I was thinking it would be fun to go as the Seven Deadly Sins to the Halloween feast...I actually had you down for Pride. Is that okay?"

Parvati straightened up.

"Do you think I am haughty, dearest Hermione?"

"Well, no...actually yes. Yes, I do."

Parvati giggled.

"Oh, good! That is totally what I was going for! Brilliant!"

Hermione was confused again.

"Um, Parvati, if you don't mind me asking, why were you speaking so...strangely before?"

"It makes me sound regal." Parvati answered. "Don't you think so?"

"Of course I do, Parvati. Of course. So I can put your name on the list? For the costume?"

"What?" She waved imperiously at Hermione. "Oh yes, fine, whatever."

She picked up her magazine and returned to levitating.

Well. Hermione thought, I sure had her pegged, didn't I? Okay, only four potentials left. Where's Harry?

And with that, she stalked off.

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Harry was, predictably, on the Quidditch pitch. Hermione could see him from many yards away, zooming over her head.

"HARRY!" She screamed, and when he turned, motioned for him to descend.

He landed, hair even more mussed than usual, and scrutinized her.

"Hermione," he panted, "what's wrong?"

Hermione laughed at his concern.

"Oh, absolutely nothing Harry, I just have a question to ask you. Did you ever dress up for Halloween when you were younger?"

"Well, once. Dudley was Hansel and he needed a Gretel. So um, they bought me a wig and a, a--I'm sorry Hermione, it's too painful too discuss. Let's just say I'm not fond of Halloween."

Hermione was shocked.

"Well, then I guess I'll have to find someone else for that..." She began to walk away.

"Wait! Hermione, find someone else for what?"

Hermione paused, and then filled him in about the plan, who was already signed up, and that she wanted him to dress up as Envy.

"Well, Hermione of course I'll do it! As long as there are no..." Harry gulped. "Skirts involved. Who do you have down for the other sins?"

"Well I've already got Ron for Anger and Parvati for Pride." Hermione began to speak faster. "But I still have to ask Draco for Lust, Seamus for Gluttony, Lav-"

"Wait!" Harry interrupted her, "Seamus is Gluttony? He doesn't eat near as much as Ron or me! I think you should make one of us Gluttony. Seamus is too skinny. It won't look right."

"Well, Harry, I don't think you should really be talking about being too skinny. Do you remember the day in Diagon Alley when that witch handed you a flyer for a magical eating disorders support group? I'm leaving you for Envy."

"Alright," Harry conceded. "I just think you're making a mistake."

Hermione sighed. This was going to be a very interesting affair.