The Marriage of Ronald B. Weasley and Hermione J. Granger

The Burrow, October 23, 2002.

In one room, Ron was frantically searching for his shirt.

In another, Hermione was moaning that her dress was too tight.

The reason? Simple. A wedding. Whose wedding? Ron and Hermione's. Chaos was the order of the day.

*************

Ron was going nuts. He had searched everywhere for his shirt (or it seemed that way) and couldn't find it.

"Where the hell is my shirt?!"

Harry, who was of course Ron's best man, scanned the room quickly and spotted the shirt on the bed. He grinned to himself. Ron had been so absentminded recently that it was no wonder he had missed it.

"Uh, Ron?"

"Yeah, Harry?"

"Your shirt's over there," said Harry, pointing and trying not to laugh. Hermione's cat, Crookshanks was resting on the shirt.

"Thank God, Harry," said Ron. "I don't know what I would do -" He did a double take. Crookshanks was on top of the shirt, purring. Ron swore under his breath. "Get off, you stupid cat." Crookshanks merely eyed Ron imperiously.

"You wanna do this the hard way?" He marched over to the bed and grabbed the ginger cat, trying to relinquish Crookshanks' hold on the shirt. Crookshanks dug his claws into the shirt and hung on, hissing and spitting.

Holding him in a way in which Hermione would thoroughly disapprove, Ron swung the cat off the bed and shook him, trying to make the cat lose its grip.

The next few minutes were a blur. All that everyone knew next was that Crookshanks had finally loosened his grip on the shirt and streaks of blood were smeared on Harry's face where Crookshanks had scratched him.

Ron's other groomsmen, Seamus, Dean, and Neville were gazing around, gobsmacked.

Ron awkwardly started apologising. "Sorry, Harry, I swear I didn't mean for that to happen. I'm going upstairs right now to tell Hermione to - well I don't know what - to take her - anyway, I'm taking Crookshanks with me."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Ron. You know, it's bad luck to see Hermione before the wedding," said Dean warningly.

"Don't talk rubbish, Dean. You sound like Professor Trelawney."

Ron wrenched the shirt out of Crookshanks' grip and, grabbing him, marched upstairs. He banged on the door of the room which was currently playing host to Hermione, her bridesmaids and not one, but two clucky mothers - Mrs. Weasley and Mrs. Granger.

"Who is it?" Ron heard the voice of Luna Lovegood.

"Ron."

Squeals and screams issued from inside.

It was Ginny who opened the door a fraction of an inch. "Ron!" she said in a scandalised whisper. "What are you doing here? You know it's bad luck to see Hermione before -"

"Save us the sermon, Gin. I heard it two seconds ago from your boyfriend."

"Well, then, what are you doing here?" Ginny made no comment about her brother's shirtless state. She had seen him in less, after all.

"To give Hermione a piece of my mind."

"You can't. Why do you want to talk to her, anyway?"

"'Cause her stupid cat was sitting on my shirt. I don't know how the hell he got there, but it's Hermione who should have been looking after him."

An angry voice issued from inside the room. "You can tell Ronald that it isn't my business to look after my cat. Crookshanks can look after himself well enough."

"If he's so smart, Hermione, than how come I saw him sitting on my shirt?! It's got cat hairs all over it now!" Ron yelled back. Crookshanks yowled, straining to escape Ron's hold on him.

"He was yowling to be let out, so Luna let him go. I don't see what the problem is, Ron. If he wanted to lie on your shirt, that's his decision!" Hermione said, sounding slightly hysterical.

"You better go, Ron," said Ginny, quickly glancing at Hermione. "You don't want to get Hermione stressed out. Mum and Mrs. Granger have been in here all morning, fussing over her like mother hens." At that moment, Ron was so annoyed that he didn't care how his future bride was feeling. He merely shoved Crookshanks into Ginny's unwary arms, and stormed off.

His parting words were, "I'll get Harry to send his Healer's bills to you for the bleeding scratches on his face, then!"

***

Ginny was correct in saying that Hermione was exhausted, but it wasn't just because her mother and Mrs. Weasley had been fussing over her all morning. She wasn't telling anyone about that other reason, though. Hermione wanted to keep that a secret as long as possible. She had enough to worry about. Her argument with Ron had frazzled her already-shattered nerves, and her dress was cutting off her circulation.

Her sister Emilia's voice tuned her out of her thoughts. "I'm glad it's you that's marrying him and not me, Hermione. He's impossible."

"When you've known him as long as I have, Em, you learn to put up with his behaviour."

"What did he mean when he said he'd get Harry to send his Healer's bills to you?"

"I've got no idea." Hermione's dress (a satin bodice with full tulle skirt) was digging into her. She was gasping for breath.

The others became alarmed, but Luna, thinking quickly, unzipped the bodice.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" Then she observed Hermione's swelling belly. "Oh my God."

"What is it, Luna?" Hermione's voice was calm, but inside she was shaking. She had been stupid to think no-one would realise her secret sooner or later.

"No wonder your dress was too tight, Hermione! You must be pregnant!" The others gasped.

"Now I know why you were in the bathroom so long this morning, Hermione!" exclaimed Emilia.

"How far along are you?" asked her mother quietly.

Hermione bit her lip. "Five months."

"Who's the father?" asked Ginny.

"Who do you think?"

"Not my brother?" said Ginny. Hermione smiled weakly. Ginny squealed and threw her arms around Hermione. "Congratulations!"

Mrs. Weasley felt Hermione's belly gently. "My newest grandchild. Oh, Hermione, I'm over the moon!"

Mrs. Granger had more practical matters on her mind, however. "Hermione, darling, your dress..."

"Don't worry, Sarah. The dress can be fixed easily by magic," said Molly. "Yes, I know we shouldn't be using magic today, but this is an emergency. " She tapped the dress and Hermione breathed a sigh of relief.

Sarah Granger looked at her watch and gasped in horror. "It's already a quarter to two. The guests will start arriving in fifteen minutes, and I'm not even ready yet!"

Everyone squealed and immediately scurried around, searching for their clothes.

Little did they know their troubles were just beginning.

***

Half an hour later, the guests were milling about in the newly redecorated garden of the Burrow. All the Weasley relatives had gathered for the wedding. The Granger relatives were there too, slightly nervous at the abundance of wizards. Mrs. Weasley mingled easily with both wizard and Muggle, proudly boasting of her youngest son's wedding, much to Ron's embarrassment.

"I can't believe Ronnie is getting married today," she said to one particular guest, hugging Ron tightly.

Ron looked at his feet, ears red. "Mum, please..."

Nearby, an uninvited guest surveyed the scene with a mixture of delighted malice and disgust. "Look at Weasley," said Draco Malfoy. "Maybe he's having second thoughts, the way his fat, ugly mother is boasting about his wedding to the Mudblood." Malfoy's fiancée, Pansy Parkinson, sniggered appreciatively.

Just then, Harry, who was chatting politely to the guests, noticed Malfoy, and his face hardened in hate. How dare that stupid idiot show his face here, he thought. Excusin himself from a particularly talkative Weasley aunt, he walked over to Malfoy and Pansy.

"I don't recall Ron and Hermione inviting you, Malfoy," he snarled.

"Relax, Potter," sneered Malfoy. "I heard that the Weasel and the Mudblood were getting married, and decided to put in an appearance."

"Shut your face, Malfoy. One more nasty word about Ron and Hermione and I'll make you and your stupid fiancée wish you had never decided to 'put in an appearance.'"

"Oh, really?" said Malfoy sarcastically. "Hey, Potty, what do you think Weasel King will do -"

Harry pulled out his wand and shot a curse at Malfoy. Malfoy yelled in pain as huge red ugly sores popped up on his face. He immediately etaliated by causing Harry to tap-dance uncontrollably on the spot. Hermione's guests were gaping, mouths wide open. It was then that Harry remembered that they weren't supposed to be using magic that day.

Mrs. Weasley, who had been watching in horror, discreetly pulled Harry aside, and, after she removed the spell on him, told him off for using magic in front of Hermione's Muggle relatives, not all of whom knew Hermione was a witch. "You were told time and time again not to use magic today, and what did you do? You used magic!"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Weasley, I forgot. I was just so mad that he had turned up uninvited."

"Next time, think before you act! And have someone escort Mr. Malfoy and partner out, please," she added. "I don't want any more trouble today."

"With pleasure," muttered Harry. Ten minutes later, Malfoy and Pansy could be seen muttering to themselves as they walked off the premises.

****

At three o'clock, everything was in place for the wedding. The guests were seated, talking excitedly amongst themselves. The three-tier wedding cake, which Fred and George had suspiciously said they would pick up, had been placed on a table nearby.

At the end of the aisle was an arch entwined with red and white roses. Dumbledore was presiding over the ceremony, calm and dignified. Next to him stood Ron, nervously twisting his hands. Beside Ron were his groomsmen, Harry, Seamus, Dean and Neville. And next to them was the ring bearer - Bill's son, Felix.

Ron had never been more nervous. To try and calm his nerves, he debated reasons why he should marry Hermione. She was witty (almost too witty, Ron thought), clever (sometimes too much so for her own good), headstrong, determined, and - this Ron thought of as the main reason - very beautiful. Before he could make up his mind, the bridal march started and he had to stand to attention.

Scattering rose petals as everyone oohed and aahed, was Hermione's youngest cousin, Gillian, playing the role of flower girl.

Following Gillian were Hermione's three bridesmaids, Luna, Ginny, and Emilia, wearing red satin dresses. Harry smiled secretly to himself at the sight of Luna, who he was planning to propose to after the wedding was over. He hoped she would catch the bouquet that Hermione would throw later. He didn't believe in superstition, but it couldn't hurt his chances.

Everyone held their breath as the bride entered on the arm of her father. The mothers of both the bride and the groom were sobbing. Hermione was glowing. Her magically refitted dress looked stunning, as did her hair, which was soft and shiny, twisted into an elegant bun on the top of her head.

Ron gaped in awe. He had never seen Hermione look more beautiful "Gorgeous, isn't she?" whispered Harry in his ear, and he nodded, unspeaking.

As Hermione walked, she reflected on the years that she had spent with her fiance. Hermione remembered how much she had hated Ron when she first met him. Then he saved her life that day with the troll in the girls' bathroom. Other things came to her mind.

He had defended her honour when Malfoy had grossly insulted her, and ended up burping up slugs. All those times when they had argued - about Scabbers and Crookshanks, and later, in their fourth year, about Viktor Krum.

Hermione remembered the first time she had kissed him. It was in their fifth year, and Ron was Keeper for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. The day of his first match, he had been unable to eat anything, due to dire nervousness. To wish him good luck, she had planted a light kiss on the cheek.

Hermione was startled back into the present when her father, Oliver, deposited her under the arch and whispered how proud he was of her. She gave him a kiss on his cheek, and turned to face her husband-to-be.

Ron touched Hermione's cheek gently, and then, without warning, she burst into tears.When Ron tried to calm her, she apologised, saying, "I'm just so happy. I can't think of anyone I would rather be with than you." With that, she sobbed onto Ron's shoulder. He tried to comfort her, but it was Dumbledore who brought her back to her senses.

"Miss Granger, if there is no-one you would rather be with than Mr. Weasley, then we should perform the ceremony that will enable you to be bound to him forever."

Hermione, hearing these words of reason, looked up into the face of her husband-to-be. His light blue eyes were filled with nothing but love and tenderness. She wiped her eyes, and then said, in her usual brisk tone, "Well, if I'm going to be your wife, Ronald Weasley, then let's get on with making it legal." Everyone laughed, and the ceremony began.

Ron and Hermione exchanged wedding rings.

Then the vows began. Ron pledged to love, support and respect Hermione forever. She in turn, vowed to do the same for him.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Weasley," announced Dumbledore. "You may now kiss the bride." The guests cheered and applauded as Ron and Hermione shared a long and passionate kiss.

As they broke apart, Hermione felt a kick come from her womb. She gave a tiny "oh" of surprise.

"What is it?" asked Ron.

"It's our baby, Ron. I felt it kick."

"You're pregnant?! Bloody hell! How come you never said anything?"

"I didn't want you to think I was only marrying you because of it. I only told my own mother this afternoon, after you came in yelling about Crookshanks."

"Hermione, I wouldn't dream of thinking something like that. I love you too much!" With that, he lifted her up into the air, and kissed her again. Then he turned around and said to the crowd, "Hermione and I have an announcement to make." The crowd hushed, and Ron nudged Hermione gently.

"Ron and I....are having a baby together!" Everyone was stunned. Then, as the happy couple departed from the arch, they started offering their congratulations and best wishes.

It was the happiest day of their lives.

***

The guests had gathered around to watch Ron and Hermione cut their cake. Sighs of delight issued from the romantics in the crowd. Suddenly, as the knife touched the cake, sighs turned to screams as the cake exploded. Fred and George had been up to their old tricks again by bewitching it.

The Granger family, in particular, was very shocked. They thought that there was definitely something peculiar and even dangerous going on. Any wizards nearby took them aside and performed Memory Charms on them so they would quickly forget what had seen.

The Weasley family, after the surprise, started laughing. They somehow knew Fred and George were behind the prank. The only witch or wizard who wasn't laughing was Mrs. Weasley. She had thought it was suspicious that Fred and George had offered to pick up the cake, and now her suspicions had been confirmed. She immediately barged over to them and began berating them for the gross inappropriateness of what they had done.

The happy couple, after getting over the shock, laughed too, and excused themselves from the guests, saying they had to clean up before they went off on their honeymoon.

***

Two hours later, after the guests had danced to the sounds of the Weird Sisters, they prepared to farewell Ron and Hermione on their honeymoon, and to a new life. Even Mrs. Weasley, who normally would have fussed over them like children, had seemed to realize that it was time to let her Ronniekins go and live a new life with his beautiful bride.

Waving joyfully to the crowd, Ron and Hermione climbed into a car which was an exact replica of Arthur Weasley's Ford Anglia, which was rumoured to be roaming in the Forbidden Forest at Hogwarts. On the back window of the car were written the words "Just Married" in white spray paint, and empty bottles of Butterbeer were attached to the rear of the car by string.

As the crowd waved to the happy couple, the car drove off into the sunset,clanking.

It was a fitting ending for a less-than fairytale couple.