Everything You Always Wanted to Ask a Harry Potter Character

Everything you always wanted to ask a Harry Potter Character

Author: Hi guys, and welcome to all you ever wanted to ask a Harry Potter character. Down the row, I hope you notice everyone, but here they are *gestures down the row, where everyone is seated* Say hi all.

Everyone: Hi

Author: Now, can we start out with any questions? Now remember, let's ask reasonable questions, and please, no thought processed questions, some of our guests can't handle those. *Looks down and Crabbe and Goyle. Yes, you in the back?

Fan #1: Hi, this question is for Ginny. Are you always as angsty as you seem? In your fourth year, you blew us all away.

Ginny: Thanks for your question. I must say, that was a tough year for me. I think most of it was Michael. When he wasn't complaining about Quidditch, he was complaining about Harry. He still claimed I was in love with him, and his anger just made me direct anger at everyone else.

Author: Thank-you for your question. Um... you, right in front.

Fan #2: Hey everyone, this question is for Draco. *Turns to Draco, heart-shaped eyes* Hi, Draco.

Author: Ahem

Fan #2: Right, sorry. So my question is, just what is it with you and Ginny Weasley?

Draco: With Weasel Jr.? I don't know. Every fanfic, everyone tries to get me and her together. It's always through tutoring, or we have to work together for something, and then she ends up calling me Draco, and we fall helplessly in love. Bit stupid, really. She's a weasel.

Ginny: And he's a ferret.

Draco: Only once! ANYWAYS, what I'm saying is, I'm not sure exactly why people want us together so much. Wouldn't they rather put me together with someone hotter? I mean, I deserve that much.

Ginny: *mutters* Keep talking like that, and you'll wish you had been a ferret only once.

Draco: Forgive me.

Author: *dreamy sigh* You're forgiven. So, any other questions. You, right in front?

Fan #3: Hi, this is for Ron and Hermione. Why do you two always try to conceal your feelings for each other when we all know that you two are hopelessly in love? Do you really believe that by pushing them down, it will just disappear?

Author: *uncomfortable* Um... please guys, I asked for no deep questions.

Hermoine: No, we'll answer it. I think the reason that we push down our feelings is because of Harry.

Harry: Me?

Hermoine: Of course. We know you have enough on your plate with Voldemort (can it, Ron) and all, and we don't want to push more onto your plate with a relationship between your two best friends. That, and Ron's completely oblivious to the fact that I like him.

Ron: I am not! I just feel the say way. About Harry not having to much to deal with.

Harry: Don't worry about it guys. You two are nearly as bad as Voldemort.

Ron: Well then, Hermoine, will you go out with me?

Hermoine: I would love to Ron! *Immediatley run off to snog*

Harry: Well, that was interesting, to say the least.

Author: Very. We have another question on the back.

Fan #4: Yeah, this question is for Lucius Malfoy. Um... are you gay?

Lucius: Excuse me?

Fan #4: Yeah, well, it's just, in all the fanfics I've read, you're in love with Voldemort and all... *trails off, seeing Lucius' face*

Ron: (Wait a minute, didn't he just run off with Hermione? Oh well, they're back now) Yeah, she's right.

Lucius: Right, so is everyone here overlooking the fact that I'm married... to a woman?

Ron: C'mon mate, we all know that was an arranged marriage, all you purebloods do that.

Harry: Yeah, and... what is it with you and that ponytail? Kinda gay, if you ask me.

Lucius: *defensively* I happen to like the ponytail. And I am NOT gay!

Fan #4: Oh, well I believe you then. Thank-you. *Sits down*

Author: Em ... well ... lets ... go to another fan, shall we?

Fan # 5: *stands up* Yeah, this question is for Crabbe and Goyle. *Crabbe and Goyle sit up proudly* Yes, so... in your second year, you two ate some cupcakes, and fell asleep, only to wake up in a broom closet with no shoes... didn't you think that was a bit out of the ordinary? Why didn't you say anything to anyone?

Draco: What? Why didn't I hear anything about this? * Harry and Ron are sitting, trying to keep a straight face*

Goyle: Well, uh... see what happened was...

Crabbe: We meant to tell someone, or at least ask someone... but then we saw food from the feast still on the floor.

Goyle: And, hey, who are we to just let food go to waste like that?

Crabbe: So we sat in the broom closet and finished the cupcakes.

Goyle: They were really good, too.

Crabbe: And I guess we just forgot about asking someone.

Draco: God, you two are more stupid than I thought.

Fan #5: *confused and amused(hey that rhymed!)* I see. Thank-you. *sits*

Author: Well, I'll take a couple more questions before we go to break. So.. you, over by the door?

Fan #6: Hi, yes this question is for Harry.

Harry: Finally!

Fan #6: Yeah, well, I'm curious... you've seen Snape now, and Snape as a teenager, much like yourself, being bullied by your father, and his best friend, coincidentally your godfather. Does that change your feelings towards this Professor now?

Harry: *thoughtful* Nah, not really. He's still a git.

Author: Ok, we're taking two more questions before break. Let's ask someone who hasn't been asked.

Fan #7: Oh, this is for someone new!

Author: Uh... alright, go ahead.

Fan #7: Ok, this is for Neville. So, first year, you had a Rememberall, that Draco Malfoy took, and Harry got back for you, but since first year, we have heard anything about it. What happened to that Rememberall.

Neville: Oh! Um... I don't remember.

Author: *laughing* Well, thats one the a Rememberall can't help you with... finding itself! Last question before break. *Harry and Ron are down the row, still giggling madly. Author frowns, but carries on.* Yes, you, 3 rows back?

Fan #8: Yeah... this question is for Blaise Zambini. It's very simple really, are you a boy, or a girl?

Blaise: Can't you tell? Bloody hell, I was so mad that J.K. Rowling couldn't tell everyone what I was in the first year, but now that you see me in person, you don't know?

Fan #8: *shrugs helplessly* Just tell me?

Blaise: Alright.. I'm-
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Attention... for the next 10 seconds, this broadcasting company will perform a test. We are sorry this cuts into your show, and seeing as we have such bad timing with this, we probably cut into the show where the best part happens, or you reach the climax of the story, for which, we are sorry about that too. It always seems to happen with us, and people sware as if it's our fault. And if anyone out there is really reading all this, then you would realize this is longer than 10 seconds. But no matter. We'll now get you back to your show, it's more important than this stupid test anyways. Except our music is pretty cool. *Cool music playing in backgroud*
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Author: Yeah, I see that now. Well, glad that mystery is solved. *Ron and Harry still laughing* Ok you two, what is it?

Harry: *choking* A new Weasley- product- turns hair- colors. Look- Lucius. *Everyone turns to look at Lucius, and gasps.*

Lucius: What?

Ron: *also choking* Color- changes to fit- personality.

Lucius: *conufused* What?

Author: You guys! *giggles* That's really mean.

Lucius: WHAT?!

*Fan runs up and hands him a mirror, in which he looks at and realizes his hair is a shocking hot pink*

Draco: Actually, Father, that color looks quite good on you.

Fred: It's our newest product-

George: -it changes your hair you match your personality-

Fred: -but don't worry, we're working on how to get it out.

George- *to audience* It's a bargain; 6 sickles each!

Fan #4: *stands up again(actually, I'm not really sure if she sat down. That would be tiring, wouldn't it?)* Hmm... I guess this answer my whole question about you being gay or not.

Harry: Yeah, I guess it does.

Ginny: You know, I never would have seen that one coming.

Voldemort(yeah, I know what you're thinking... how did he get in here? Well, actually, I'm not sure. So just deal with it. Good job.): I did. *sly grin*

Draco: My own father.

Author: Sooooo, we're taking a break, all you happy people out there, just sit tight, we'll be back as soon as possible.

Ron: Poor Narcissa.

Hermoine: Poor Draco.

Lucius: I AM NOT GAY!