Phineas

The subjects of the portraits lining the room were no longer pretending to be asleep; they were shifting in their frames, the better to watch what was happening. When the clever-looking wizard continued to feign sleep, some of them shouted his name, too.

"Phineas! Phineas! PHINEAS!" - headmasters and headmistresses of Hogwarts (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix UK edition page 417)

Chapter Three

Ideas and Irritation

Phineas Nigellus sat at his grand chair on the staff table, his usual scowl upon his face. His scheme to keep the students from feeling happiness and protecting them from Dementors was not working. Still they laughed with each other as they sat together at the table. He would have to take this further.

Everyone, even the staff, thought that he was a grumpy man because he chose to be. He was not. He was grumpy because he had to be. His parents had been kissed in a Dementor attack in his home, when he was three years old. There was no way that he would allow people to succumb to the dark creatures, even if he did like to study the Dark Arts. As he said, studying a subject allowed you to understand how the other side worked easier. He only had the safety and security of the students at heart.

As he ate the bland food before him - enjoyment of food increased happiness - he pondered upon what he could do. Doing this allowed him to take his mind from the taste of the food. It did not cheer him up, thinking of these punishments, it was simply a necessary thing to do.

He glanced over at the Slytherin table, at his son and daughter. They were laughing cheerily, although for a moment Sirius clutched his hand. For one brief moment he felt compassion for his son, then it was gone. He could not feel love, or the Dementors would get him.

Stop students from talking at mealtimes!

This thought ran through the headmaster's head suddenly. His scowl lessened very slightly, and he paused in his chewing. That was a good idea; it would keep the students from being happy during the time when they were most vulnerable. Changing the food had not helped, as they had talked more than they ate.

Don't let them leave the hall until they have finished eating.

Yes, that would keep them in the hall. Although, then they'd eat much quicker and then go to the common room or outside, so a bad idea. He would have to think of how to keep happiness from the children outside later.

***

Sirius and his best friend from Slytherin, William Malfoy, groaned when they saw the sign on the door of the Great Hall.

Educational Decree Number Twelve:

No talking during mealtimes in the Great Hall (breakfast, lunch and dinner) by order.

Headmaster Prof. Phineas Nigellus

"No talking during mealtimes!" he groaned, not noticing the person looming up behind him.

"Detention!" roared Professor Nigellus. Sirius winced, it was right in his ear. "No talking during mealtimes and breakfast has begun. Now go in, in silence, and eat!"

The silenced children walked into the Great Hall, saddened and angry at this news. Phineas scowled deeper, scaring a few nearby Ravenclaws, as he realised that it was working. Scowling was the way he expressed himself when people felt less happiness and became safer from Dementors; it was his equivalent to a smile.

Sirius ate in silence. It seemed that now all house arguments were gone, and all anger was directed at the headmaster. He exchanged a glance with Tom across the room, and Andromeda shrugged at Hannah. They were not distracted any longer from the taste of the food, and there were many flinches and disgusted faces across the room.

Up at the staff table, Phineas became satisfied with the state of affairs. No happiness was to be seen anywhere. He was satisfied.

***

That night in the Slytherin and Gryffindor common rooms, the same ideas were thought up. Sign language, which did not break Phineas Nigellus' latest Educational Decree. The educational decree before this one had been:

The library is only for use by those doing homework.

Those who did not know sign language instantly joined study groups started by those who did. Even those in the magical world had the same sign language as Muggles, with a few extra words of course. There was no word for 'Mudblood', which was a relief.

In the morning, Phineas Nigellus was furious. His plan to save the school had failed! When the Dementors faced these happy children, and that was almost certain, then the young ones would fall, and die. He had only their best interests at heart, why couldn't they see it? The most recent dark lord, Plaguertas, had several of them at his command.

The students were having great fun signing to each other, arms getting into the way of other people. They couldn't help laughing, but Phineas dared not say anything to stop them. This sign language thing had begun with Educational Decree number ten:

No talking in the library.

***

That lunchtime, a note went up on the door to the Great Hall:

Educational Decrees numbers ten and twelve:

No talking in the library by order.

No talking during mealtimes in the Great Hall (breakfast, lunch and dinner) by order.

Have been rescinded, and replaced by Educational Decree number thirteen:

No talking unless necessary, for example to answer a question or to ask a question, or to say something on the matter of a particular subject, by order. And definitely no sign language!

Headmaster Professor Phineas Nigellus.