Rating:
G
House:
Riddikulus
Genres:
Humor
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix Quidditch Through the Ages Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Stats:
Published: 06/03/2004
Updated: 06/03/2004
Words: 2,017
Chapters: 1
Hits: 452

Hogwarts Inspection

isla142

Story Summary:
During the 1993/1994 easter term, a team of inspectors from the UK Inspectorate group Ofsted come to inspect Hogwarts. What will they find? Who will they put down? Who will they praise?

Posted:
06/03/2004
Hits:
452
Author's Note:
Yay! Time to make fun (not seriously though) of JKR and how she runs Hogwarts! (Laughs) I forgot Flich, but who cares?


OFSTED Inspection March 1994 - Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Headteacher: Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

  • Professor Dumbledore is a wise man, and has many achievements to his credit such as a full set of Outstanding OWLs. However, he shows favouritism amongst his students. Several students in one house, known as Gryffindor, seem to be regarded as 'special' by the headteacher. Punishments go unpunished, and exams are marked unfairly - with grades being given of over 100%. In another house, known as Slytherin, the students are often treated with disdain as though they are separate from the rest of the school.

Deputy Headteacher: Professor Minerva McGonagall.

  • Professor McGonagall receives credit for being generally fair to all members of the houses. What punishment she gives to one student, she gives to another. However, looking back at recent Hogwarts past, she gave one student - Harry Potter - a place on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team without even giving him a trial. This was most unfair to the other students. Professor McGonagall is also head of Gryffindor House, and teaches Transfiguration. The lessons inspected by the team show that she is competent at her work, and teaches well. She gives the students plenty of encouragement, and allows them to move at their own pace to a certain extent. She also does not give homework of an overly impossible standard.

Arithmancy: Professor Summaris Vector

  • Professor Vector teaches the subject well. She has a good knowledge of the workings of this difficult subject, being able to interpret the different combinations of numbers well. There are few students who take this course, however, because they have been given no explanation of what it involves. The students who do take it are those with a good knowledge of the Muggle subject, arithmetic, and are often Muggle-born themselves.

Astronomy: Professor Calliope Sinistra

  • Professor Sinistra is a skilful teacher, with the ability to point out any star in the sky within seconds. She is kind to the students, understanding that they are not 'night owls' like herself and can become tired. She has a good knowledge of the stars and planets, and always makes the difference certain between Astronomy and Astrology. Professor Sinistra is the Deputy Chairwoman of the Ravenclaw Council.

Care of Magical Creatures: Professor Rubeus Hagrid

  • Professor Hagrid is a large man, and according to our records a half-giant. Despite this, he has a great love for animals and humans. However, he breaks down easily and is very sentimental. One case in particular this year is highlighted: one of the Hippogriffs, Buckbeak, is under trial for attacking a Hogwarts student - Draco Malfoy. Professor Hagrid said that he told the class not to insult the creatures, but Draco did so. Commendably, the Professor acted immediately, rushing the student up to the school's Hospital Wing. However, he then refused to teach for several classes, as the boy did not heal instantly. Buckbeak is due to be beheaded in June if Professor Hagrid cannot put together an appeal. When he did return, the Professor began to teach Flobberworms instead. We recommend that the Professor go on to creatures with far more interest, since a first year class could deal with Flobberworms.

Charms: Professor Filius Edward Flitwick.

  • Professor Flitwick teaches Charms well, for he has great aptitude with the different spells. He is extremely kind to all students, despite his size, which he makes up for in a humorous manner. As Chairman of Ravenclaw Council, he does his work well, presiding over the meetings in a just manner. He always grants students a hearing, whenever they have something to say. Flitwick gives praise where it is due, and always encourages students in their work. He will always be ready to talk to a student if they need help, even in the middle of a staff meeting. However, not too long ago, Professor Flitwick gave a student 112% in an exam, which is impossible. This favouritism should not be occurring here.

Defence Against the Dark Arts: Professor Remus John Lupin.

  • This class is being taught by its third professor in as many years. Professor Lupin shows great potential, having taken the third year students through their copies of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. In the other years, he has been teaching defensive spells or more complicated charms, as with the sixth and seventh years. He also offers tuition to students who require it, teaching Harry Potter the Patronus charm due to the Dementors currently at the school. However, he becomes ill regularly, which forces another Professor to have to teach his classes. He also has a strained relationship with the Potions Master, Professor Snape, as the team picked out on the first day.

Divination: Professor Sybil Patricia Trelawney

  • Professor Trelawney is not a good professor. She has barely any talent for divination, except for those things where the characters of the students are obvious and she knows what will happen. Some students told the team about times when her predictions have been correct, but like a few students Miss Hermione Granger had her misgivings. Mr. Harry Potter said that he was being constantly told that he was going to die: a fact that cannot be reassuring for any of the students. This is a psychologically damaging thing to do to impressionable young students. Since we do not have any evidence that Professor Trelawney is in fact a real seer, we would recommend that a new teacher be found.

Herbology: Professor Pomona Sprout

  • Professor Sprout is an enthusiastic teacher of Herbology, the most practical course for all years that Hogwarts offers. She is also head of Hufflepuff house, and brilliant at that too. She knows a lot about the different plants, and is greatly admired by the students. However, when a student does something wrong in her class, or makes a mistake, rather than help them she is dismissive and continues whatever she was doing before. She can be slightly bad tempered at times, but otherwise is a good sport. This is the most Muggle-like subject at Hogwarts, and a good one for getting your hands dirty!

History of Magic: Professor Binns

  • This Professor has forgotten his first name. When one professor sat through his lesson, she had a difficult time trying not to fall asleep. The subject talked about was the Goblin Rebellions of the fourteenth century, whatever the level of the class, and the Professor does not teach it well. It is also disturbing to have a ghost teaching the lesson. The Professor does not wish to leave of his own accord, and so we recommend that you have him exorcised. A new professor would bring a new angle to this class, and students may be able to stay awake throughout them. We commend the efforts of Hermione Granger, who attempted to stay awake throughout her classes, and succeeded.

Muggle Studies: Professor Hannah Jones

  • Professor Jones is an excellent teacher of Muggle Studies. She expertly explains such concepts as 'electricity' and 'television' using the correct Muggle terminology. During our visit, she took the students of her sixth year NEWT level class on a tour of a Muggle shopping centre in London to demonstrate certain things. Our Muggle team member, who has a daughter at Hogwarts herself, believes that everything was explained brilliantly. However, there is a noticeable lack of Slytherin students in this subject. We would advise that Muggle Studies be made a regular part of the curriculum from first year, so that the bias of certain pure-blooded students does not become too strong.

Potions: Professor Severus Salazar Snape

  • Although he is good at his work, Professor Snape is not an excellent teacher. His knowledge of Potions puts him up with the best, however his prejudiced attitude towards several of the students does not put him in a good light. He does not treat many of the less gifted students with respect, leaving them to fix their mistakes by themselves. This does not give the students much chance of succeeding. He also prevents the other students from assisting their friends. One case in particular occurred when Mr Neville Longbottom did not make his Potion correctly. As well as being humiliated by the professor, points were removed from Mr Longbottom's house when it was revealed that he had been assisted. Professor Snape is head of Slytherin house, and favours his house above all others.

Quidditch Training: Madam Rolanda Hooch

  • Madam Hooch is an excellent Quidditch trainer and referee. She does not put up with nonsense from anyone, since she is not close enough into the school system to have any favourites. She has a great knowledge of the game of Quidditch, having trained professionally at the Ministry of Magic and played as Chaser during her younger years. However, the Quidditch training only occurs during the first year at Hogwarts, and we feel that it should be continued throughout the whole curriculum, whether the students play the sport or not. It would increase the skills that many students have in the sport, especially the Muggle-born ones, and also increase the amount of players that team captains can select from.

Study of Ancient Runes: Professor Freja Njordveld

  • Professor Njordveld has a good knowledge of the runes from her home country of Norway. She is able to explain them well, and is continually encouraging the students to greater things. Many of them can recognise a rune on site, without pausing for a second. The class, however, is very small. On average there are only four students in each year, and the third year class is only attended by Mr. Draco Malfoy of Slytherin and Miss Hermione Granger. These two students do not get on well together, due to the rift between their houses. They prefer to work alone, although both normally receive top grades in the different projects. During our visit, they were studying and comparing different styles of runes.

Transfiguration: Professor Minerva McGonagall (see notes above)

Other Notes:

  • The house system as it currently is, is biased. There are fewer students in some houses than others due to the method of sorting by personality rather than randomly. It is in fact impossible to divide students into the four categories: ambitious, brave, clever, and other. The 'other' part is especially unfair. Many people are ambitious, brave and clever all at the same time. Slytherin house and Gryffindor house in particular are unfairly treated, since the Gryffindors are often given benefits and the Slytherins are known as the 'dark' house. Hufflepuff house are also often known as the house of the stupid, and gain lower marks than the others in house competitions.

  • The system of 'house points' is a good one, as long as it is not used as a threat by professors and only in friendly competition.

  • Subjects taught in Muggle schools such as Arithmetic and English would be of great use to the students, both in their written communication and in the real world. It would aid them in getting a job wherever they decide to go.

General overview:

  • New professors needed for Potions, Divination, and History of Magic.

  • Favouritism needs to stop in Charms, Potions, and Transfiguration, as well as by the headmaster.

  • Defence Against the Dark Arts requires a teacher who does not regularly become ill, and a permanent one too.

  • Subjects such as Muggle Studies need to be made mandatory for all years except sixth and seventh years, to prevent prejudice.

  • Quidditch training should be given to those of all years, not just the first year, and also to those already on a team.

  • Muggle subjects such as Arithmetic and English to be added to the curriculum.

  • Care of Magical Creatures Professor needs to teach about a wider range of creatures to the curriculum.

  • Rivalries between staff need to stop.

  • House system needs to be rearranged to that the sorting occurs randomly.

  • Ancient Runes, Herbology, Arithmancy and Astronomy are well-taught subjects and do not need changing.

Signed: June Kersely - head of team, Jonathan Triumph - potions/herbology/COMC, Regina Lewis - charms/DADA/Transfiguration, Paul Jones - Arithmancy/Ancient Runes/Divination, Rebecca Evans - Muggle Studies/History of Magic.


Author notes: PS: Hogwarts didn't pay any attention to the report, but continued along their haphazard path to destruction.