Alice

Chapter Five

Finding Friends in Strange Places

Alice had sat by the lake looking across to the school for hours. She had watched the sun set and the moonrise and seen the constellations make their journeys across the night sky. And she had thought about her father and the journey that he had to make. Why he had to become a Death Eater she could not bring herself to understand or comprehend. Had she really meant what she said to her father, that if he became a Death Eater she would disown him? She needed to talk to someone, someone who could guide her through the inner torture. Perhaps Dumbledore could help.

On returning to the school, Alice had gone straight to Professor McGonagall and demanded to see Professor Dumbledore. Professor McGonagall had seen how upset Alice was and had taken her straight to see him. That was where Alice was now, sitting in front of a fire drinking hot chocolate. She had just finished telling them about her conversation with her father.

"Alice, he doesn't have a choice."

"Yes he does Headmaster, he can hide."

"If he disappeared now, Lucius would track him down and kill him within a week. It's hard to accept Alice, but your father's mind is made up. He is putting the welfare of the world at large over the reputation of your family. I know it's hard to accept, but you must try."

"I suggest you go to your quarters and sleep on it. I promise you'll feel better in the morning, Alice." Professor McGonagall smiled fondly at her. Alice stared down into her mug of hot chocolate. She wasn't sure that her little "chat" had helped her at all. Perhaps she needed to be alone and to think about what had happened rationally, to form her own opinion without others influencing her.

"Thank you, Professors, I think I'll do that." Alice got up and left Dumbledore and McGonagall.

As she was making her way down to her room, she remembered she was meant to be meeting Snape, so she went down to the potions dungeon instead.

Snape was waiting for her. He glared at Alice and opened his mouth to say something but Alice cut in; she was not going to suffer his insults, not tonight anyway.

"Don't start with me. I've just found out about my Father, the future Death Eater," Alice spat the words out.

Snape shut his mouth and his gaze softened.

"Here's my Grandfather's apothecary book. You can borrow it tonight. I'll see you tomorrow and we can begin then."

Alice backed out of the classroom as she began to cry again. "I can't do this tonight."

She turned and fled as she heard Snape call out her name.

At one in the morning Alice was still tossing and turning, unable to sleep. Her chat with Dumbledore hadn't really helped, nor was her not sleeping. Madox wasn't helping matters either, sensing that Alice was upset he insisted on curling up on the bed next to her to sleep. Alice got out of bed and went to search her bathroom cupboard for a sleeping potion.

"Damn." She had none left.

Alice wondered if Snape had any in his supply cupboard. She decided to go and see. She slipped her Ugg boots on and wrapped her dressing gown around her. She grabbed her wand from under her pillow and a hair tie and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. As she slipped from the staff room she wondered if teachers got into trouble for breaking curfew and wandering the school at night.

As she turned into the Potions corridor she could see light coming from the potions classroom. Alice got her wand out and slowly crept along the wall and peered cautiously in the door.

"Professor Snape. What are you still doing up?"

Snape jumped slightly. "I could ask you the same thing, Professor Kyteler." He looked up and blushed slightly. Alice looked down at herself and realized she had been wandering the school in a black satin nightie and dressing gown. Coupled with the Ugg boots it made for an interesting look. Alice wrapped her dressing gown around her further.

"I couldn't sleep and have run out of sleeping potion. I thought you might have some."

Snape looked at Alice and blushed further.

"Come and sit down."

Alice hesitated slightly before sitting down opposite Snape.

"So why can't you sleep?"

Snape's eyes locked with Alice's and seemed to be boring into hers. She squirmed slightly.

"I can't sleep because of Dad's plan to become a Death Eater."

"You didn't take it too well then?"

"No - but would you be happy if someone you looked up to felt they had no choice but to join with dark wizards? If someone you loved was almost voluntarily going to kill people..." Alice's voice trailed off as she looked at Snape's face. "I'm sorry, I didn't think."

"Its okay." Snape leaned forward. "Your father's decision wasn't an easy one, Alice. He is very brave and his decision is all the more admirable considering your family's history. As for him killing anyone ... Alice, I don't think your father will get the Dark Mark. The next induction will be Halloween, too soon even if your Father says yes right away. The next ceremony will be on New Year's Eve. Hopefully Dumbledore will have a plan in place by then. Okay?"

Alice nodded. Snape got up and walked over to the stores cupboard. Alice could hear keys jangling and a cupboard being opened and shut. Snape returned and handed Alice a bottle containing a sleeping draught.

"Only take a few drops or you'll be..."

But Alice hadn't bothered to wait and listen and had taken a gulp. She swallowed. "Or I'll be...what?"

"Asleep in a matter of seconds."

Snape took a few steps forward and caught Alice in his arms as she swooned.

"Impatient girl."

He scooped her up in his arms and carried her back to her room. He lay her down on her bed and took her boots off. He loosened her dressing gown so she could sleep comfortably, all the while resisting an urge to shift his eyes from her face. Alice rolled over on her stomach and muttered something unintelligible in her sleep. Snape pulled her covers up and left her to sleep.

*** *** ***

Six weeks later, Alice was standing in the Potions dungeon at three in the morning arguing a point with Snape. She had developed a routine, every second night she spent with Remus, and occasionally Sirius, marking papers, going over lesson plans or playing backgammon or exploding snap. She and Sirius were polite to each other, but there was an underlying tension. The other nights were spent working with Snape, developing antidotes. So far they had found an antidote for Comatus. Each night also included an argument about potions. Tonight's argument centered on how they would test the antidote. Alice had suggested they test it on her, but Snape was worried that it might not work.

"We could test it on Sirius."

"Severus, what has Sirius Black ever done to you, except be in Gryffindor?"

Snape looked down and tapped his foot on the floor.

"Well, when we were all at school together I was very curious about Remus's activities during the full moon. I half suspected the truth, but I wasn't sure. Anyway, Sirius told me to follow Remus one night and, well, I was almost killed. So I still owe Sirius one."

Alice sighed; it was like dealing with four-year-olds sometimes.

"We're still not testing it on Sirius. Although a few well-aimed punches when this whole thing is over would not be unreasonable."

Alice smiled at Snape. She had grown to respect him over the weeks. He had a phenomenal mind and, Alice discovered a very dry sense of humor. He also kept her spirits up when she started to dwell on her father, which she had been doing a lot lately. They had resumed owling each other and Alice had received an owl last week telling her that Declan had finally accepted Lucius' offer to make him a Death Eater. Snape still maintained that it was too close to an induction ceremony for her father to be inducted, but Alice worried just the same. Snape was going to be at the ceremony regardless, but he would be watchful just in case Voldemort brought his prize convert before the other Death Eaters.

Alice rubbed her neck and massaged her shoulders. She was tired and just wanted to sleep for a week. Taking some Comatus was tempting.

"We could call for volunteers?"

"And announce our intentions to the whole school? No, no good."

Alice collapsed into a chair feeling utterly deflated. "I can't think; I need coffee."

Snape looked at Alice. "Come on, I'll make you some."

Snape picked up their notes and walked toward the door. Alice wearily got up and followed Snape down to his quarters just next to the Slytherin common room.

Once inside, Alice threw herself down on one of the couches, whilst Snape went off to brew some coffee. She closed her eyes for a second before remembering that they still had to write up the results from the potions they had tried to brew that night.

"I'm going out to the courtyard to try to revive myself," Alice shouted to Snape. She wearily wandered over to the bookshelf and pulled down on the book lever, opening the door to the courtyard.

Snape found her out there five minutes later staring on the sky, oblivious to the cold.

"You can see Draco," she said dreamily.

"What?" Snape looked alarmed and almost dropped the coffee in shock.

"See that group of stars next to the Little Dipper? Sort of looks like a snake? Well, it's a dragon really. A head, the winding body."

Alice drew an outline in the sky with her finger.

"No, I could never tell what you were supposed to be looking at in astronomy class. How can you tell?"

"I love astronomy. Wanted to take it at advanced level, but my head of house wouldn't let me. He terrorized me into doing potions."

"I'm sure your calm, patient and understanding head of house did no such thing. Here's your coffee." Snape's voice had a playful tone to it that Alice had never heard before. It almost sounded like he was flirting with her.

"Tell me again why Dad won't have time to be inducted," Alice said softly.

"Because Halloween is three nights away and your father will have to pass certain tests and trials to prove his loyalty and adeptness as a future Death Eater."

"What sort of tests?"

"He will be ... Alice, are you sure you want to know this?"

Alice looked at Snape and nodded.

"He'll be tortured. Physical and mental torture. The Cruciatus Curse won't be cast until he is inducted at least, but he will have several weeks of torture. Then he will be given a test. The tests vary. I had to develop and brew a potion. I don't know what your father will be asked to do - perhaps steal Ministry documents. I don't know."

Alice continued to stare at Snape. She bought her mug of coffee to her lips and blew on it to try to cool it.

"Come inside, you look frozen."

Alice numbly followed Snape inside, still processing what he had said.

"What kind of torture?"

Snape winced visibly, leaving Alice with no doubt that he had gone through the trials himself despite his privileged position.

"Medieval. I would rather not discuss it." He said quietly.

"Okay."

Alice sat down on a couch, picked up her notes and began to write them up. Snape sat down on the other couch and did the same, chancing occasional glances at Alice as she worked. If only he wasn't who he was he might have...what? Asked her out? You would never have the courage. Besides, she is a former student. The Potions professor gave himself a stern talking to as he wrote.

*** *** ***

For Halloween, Alice and Remus decided that it had been all work and no play lately and decided to throw themselves a party. Sirius had turned up the day before and suggested that they include Harry, Ron and Hermione. Alice thought it was a great idea, anything to take her mind off of the meeting Snape was at, possibly with her father. She would make it fun. She hadn't told Remus about her father's plans. She knew she would have to eventually, but she didn't feel inclined to with Sirius around.

It was midnight and Alice was enchanting the walls of Remus' dungeon so they would turn orange. Madox was sitting in a corner looking very disconcerted after having already been enchanted. He growled every time Alice looked his way. "Oh settle down Madox, it'll wear off in a couple of hours." Madox didn't look so sure.

Sirius and Remus came bursting through the door just at this point, returned from their quest to the kitchens for food.

"Once a Marauder, always a Marauder, Remus." Sirius took great delight in occasionally behaving like a teenager and taking Remus along for the ride. Alice looked at the two of them and shook her head.

"So Alice, where's Slimy Snape tonight?" Sirius said it teasingly, but it was enough to push Alice to the brink. She narrowed her eyes.

"Severus' whereabouts are of no concern to you."

"Oh, Severus is it now? My, my, you two are getting friendly, aren't you?" The teasing tone was gone from Sirius' voice and was replaced by a distinctly frosty one.

"Well, he could do with some friends."

"And what does that mean?"

"He told me about what you did to him at school. Almost getting him killed." Alice glared at Sirius.

"He deserved it."

"No he didn't! No one deserves to die."

Sirius and Alice glared at each other, both thinking about what verbal wounds they could inflict on each other next. A knock at the door brought an end to the staring match. Remus breathed a sigh of relief and went to answer the door.

"Harry, Ron, Hermione. So glad you could make it." He turned and glared at Alice and Sirius. "You can demonstrate to these two how adults behave."

He let them in.

"Wow - love your decorating." Ron said as he took in the orange walls and the still miffed orange Madox. Remus smiled.

"Yes, Alice did it, seems she's full of hidden talents."

"Hidden talents, Alice?" Sirius wheeled around and resumed glaring at Alice. "Perhaps we could get Slimy Snape to come and give us a class in Alice's hidden talents. I'm sure it would be most interesting."

Alice snarled back at Sirius. "It would only be interesting if you were deficient in potions skills."

"Are you sure? You and Snape seem to be spending a lot of time together, sure it's just potions you're working on?"

Alice sprung at Sirius and started to physically attack him, pulling his long, black hair, as well as continuing the verbal assault. "What are you suggesting, you wormy dog? Severus is a man of honor, which is more than I can say for you, you little rat."

Remus, Harry and Ron stood staring at Alice and Sirius, whilst Hermione slowly got her wand out of her robes and pointed it at the struggling pair. "Petrificus Totalus." Sirius and Alice froze in a locked embrace and fell to the floor. There was a brief silence before Ron spoke.

"Well that shut them up."

Remus sighed. "Thank you, Hermione. It might have shut them up, but it's delayed the all-out war the two of them have been threatening to declare."

There was another knock at the door before it opened and Severus Snape walked in. "Is Alice..." He stopped and looked at Sirius and Alice on the floor, then at Hermione with her wand still out and started to deduct house points.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley - fifty house points each from Gryffindor for being out of bed beyond curfew and 100 points from Miss Granger for curfew violations and for the casting of a dangerous spell."

"Severus, this whole incident can be explained."

"Can it, Remus?" Severus turned on Remus.

"The students were here on my permission, so I'm restoring the lost house points. Hermione was trying to restore some peace, since we were meant to be having a party."

Snape glared at Remus and then the students. Ron was holding Harry back from jumping on Snape.

"A party at midnight, Remus? How very like you," Snape drawled as he pulled his wand out and pointed it at the still frozen Sirius and Alice.

"Finite Incantantum."

"You Snape-loving bitch." Sirius snarled as he got up of the floor. Alice was about to say something when she noticed Snape glaring down at her. She blanched, all thoughts of Sirius erased from her mind.

"Did he..? Was he..?"

Snape's face softened. "No." He walked over to Alice and helped her to her feet. She hugged Snape out of relief, much to the amazement of Snape and everyone else in the room. He disengaged himself from Alice and glared at the students.

"I think you three have seen enough excitement for one night. Sirius, take them back to their common room."

Sirius scowled at Snape and was about to protest that he wasn't a teacher when Remus spoke up.

"Just go Sirius."

The four of them left the room. Remus collapsed onto the couch. Alice looked at him.

"Sorry, Remus... I ruined your evening."

"I think you had better go." Remus looked up. "Both of you."

Alice shuffled out of Remus's room with Madox in her arms. Snape followed closely behind, his hand on Alice's back, gently guiding her to his room.

Once inside he quietly asked Alice what was going on.

"Well I think I've discovered my inner Slytherin. I don't know what it is about Black, but I don't like him or trust him. And don't you give me a lecture, Severus, because I know how you feel about him."

Alice sat down on a couch and looked up at Snape, waiting for a rebuke, but none came. Instead, Alice noticed his deathly pallor.

"Severus, are you okay? What happened tonight?"

"I was re-inducted of sorts. Lucius Malfoy put the Cruciatus Curse on me."

"Oh my God."

Alice stood up and was going to help Snape on to one of the couches, but he walked over to the double doors, opened them, and walked through into his bedroom. He gingerly lay down on his bed. Alice hesitated and then followed.

"Have you got any sleeping potion in your bathroom cabinet?"

"Top shelf, should be labeled."

Alice walked into the bathroom and found a tiny vial labeled sleeping potion. She came back out into the bedroom and helped Severus sit up.

"Should I tell Dumbledore?"

"Tomorrow."

Snape gulped the potion down and lay back on the bed. He was soon fast asleep. Alice stood nervously at the foot of his bed. She wondered what to do. What if Cruciatus wasn't all Severus had been cursed with? She took her wand out and ran it just over Snape's chest. She muttered a revealing curse, but all the magic she could detect was the remnants of Cruciatus and the effects of the sleeping potion.

"Well at least you aren't under Imperious."

Alice looked at Snape; he looked so peaceful asleep. She reached out and swept some hair from his forehead. Alice then walked out of his bedroom, closing the doors quietly behind her.

She went over to the fireplace and looked on the shelf for some powder. She found a jar with some in it, threw a handful into the fire, and called for Albus Dumbledore.

"Headmaster?" Alice wasn't sure he would even be in his office, but fortunately he was.

"Alice, where are you? Is everything alright?"

"I'm in Severus' quarters. Lucius Malfoy put him under Cruciatus tonight. I've given him a sleeping potion, so he should be okay, but I just thought you should know."

Dumbledore looked pensive. "Thank you Alice. I think I'll come down to check on him myself. Do you mind waiting?"

"No, not at all."

Alice broke the connection and went and sat down on a couch. She nervously tapped her feet and played with the folds of her dress as she waited. She hoped Snape would be all right. She didn't want to think about what would happen if he wasn't. She was relying on him to guide her father through his Death Eater initiation, and, although Alice didn't want to consciously admit it, she was relying on him to get her through the next couple of months like he had for the last six weeks.

She was snapped out of her private meditations by Dumbledore's loud knocks. Alice got up and opened the door to admit Dumbledore and Remus. Dumbledore immediately crossed the room and went into Snape's bedroom, leaving Alice and Remus to wait in silence. Alice didn't know what to say.

He came back out again a minute later.

"Alice, did you check to see if you could find traces of other curses or magic?"

"I did, Headmaster, and I could only find traces of Cruciatus and the sleeping potion."

Dumbledore sat down wearily. "Good, good. We concur on that. Remus, I think I'll need Alice to cover Severus' Potions classes tomorrow. Is that okay by you?"

"Fine."

"Alice?"

"Yeah, it should be fine."

Dumbledore shook his head and spoke quietly.

"He went through so much the first time. He'll end up in St Mungo's if he gets hit with Cruciatus again for any length of time. Voldemort isn't one for showing compassion and he is certainly putting Severus through the wringer." Dumbledore sighed. "Alice, can you stay the night? I'll be back first thing in the morning." Dumbledore stood up. "Well, I bid you and Remus goodnight."

Dumbledore walked from the room looking to Alice like a tired, defeated old man.

"You okay?" Remus walked up behind Alice and started to massage her shoulders.

"I'll be fine."

Remus looked around. "You going to sleep on the couch? Do you need a blanket?"

"I'll be fine." Alice felt herself slowly relaxing under Remus's touch. Suddenly she didn't want to be alone. Alice was feeling very scared and vulnerable.

"Stay with me."

"What?"

"I'm scared, Remus, stay with me."

Alice turned to face Remus, her eyes pleading with him to stay.

"Okay, I'll stay." Remus took Alice's hand and led her over to the couch. "You're really that worried about Severus?"

"Yes, no - it's..." Alice sighed. "It's Dad, he and Lucius Malfoy are close friends, and Lucius thinks it is about time for Dad to become a Death Eater and he's going to do it."

"Oh, Alice, why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I couldn't bring myself to with Sirius hanging around. Severus and Dumbledore know. Severus has been helping me come to terms with it. But after tonight...I don't think I can stand quietly by while my Dad does this."

Remus drew Alice to him and hugged her.

"It'll be okay. I'm sure your Dad is strong. He wouldn't do this without thinking it through properly."

"But this is just the impulsive thing he would do. Where do you think I get it from?" Alice looked up at Remus and smiled feebly.

"He's going to have to kill people...innocent people."

"It will come with the territory. But Alice, good or bad, innocent people will die. Both sides kill. Just because we are fighting against Voldemort doesn't mean that we will be immune to committing bad acts. Hopefully we won't commit as many, nor will they be as heartless, but they will be committed just the same."

"I know."

Alice stretched out on the couch and put her head in Remus's lap. She closed her eyes as Remus started to stroke her hair.