Harry Potter and the Rise of the Phoenix

It was Saturday.

Somehow that simple statement, which would normally make Harry's spirits soar, was not helping his mood today. After a long week of confused glances, accusatory glares, and questioning looks, Harry was ready to go to his dorm room, curl up in a little ball, and never get up again. As if he'd get that chance; no, he had the first D.A. meeting in about fifteen minutes. Hermione had offered to bring the new students so that he could retreat to the Room of Requirement and recoup from the last three days, and Harry had readily accepted the offer. Three days! It felt so much longer than three days. Of course, reading several weeks' worth of Daily Prophets had probably not helped. With this thought, the paper he was thinking of the most appeared. The headline glared up at him, and the article was the best news he could have heard.

This paper had come out only a few days after Peter's death, and a picture of the bloody body was featured on the front page of the paper. Harry thought Rita and her editors should have shown a bit more tact than that, but one couldn't expect miracles. The article went on to question the Ministry's actions regarding Sirius, and several Order members were finally able to speak their mind. Harry's eyes went to the two passages that were most promising:

Harry could barely believe that Rita had written this article, but than again… it really was a slam on the Ministry, and Rita loved creating havoc. She just had to drag him in at the end though, didn't she? Yet another thing Rita loved to do. Harry couldn't help but wonder why no one told him about this article or what it meant for Sirius. He planned to talk to Thia and Remus about it later. Why hadn't the Order done more after Sirius' death?

After a quick glance at the clock he realized he only had five minutes left. Harry settled deep into the cushy armchair and sighed. Today was going to be hard. First he had the D.A. meeting, and afterwards he was going to speak with his friends about his imprisonment and after that… he was going to question Thia and Remus about Sirius. There was no doubt about it; today would be long and today would be hard.

His back was to the door, giving him a bit more privacy as the first people started to arrive. He didn't want to look at them while they waited to hear his tale. Harry didn't want to know if they waited eagerly or worriedly to hear him speak. He didn't want to chat with them about some little thing like the weather. With his back to the rest of the room he could effectively ignore them without being rude about it. Those that waited whispered to each other, his mood repressing the normal chaos before D.A. meetings. Hermione entered a few minutes after two with the new members and closed the door behind her carefully.

Harry stood, and the comfortable chair disappeared only to be replaced with a desk and a straight-backed chair. He nodded at Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, Flitwick, and Sprout. It was important, Harry felt, that the Heads of House understand him. They would, after all, need to trust him as the Head Boy. Remus and Tonks stood next to Thia in the back, lending him emotional support. As Harry took a seat on top of the desk (Snape rolled his eyes at this) the door opened and Professor Burke entered. Harry still wasn't sure if he wanted the man here or not, but Dumbledore trusted him, so Harry would.

He waited a few more minutes, not delaying the inevitable, but savoring the last few minutes of calm before the storm. And what a storm this would be. He gave himself the small comfort of running a hand through his hair, the old habit calming him slightly. With a barely audible sigh, Harry looked at each face belonging to his friends, classmates, and teachers.

"Welcome to yet another year," Harry finally said. "We are full to bursting, so a huge welcome goes to our newest members." Harry clapped and the others joined in, half-heartedly. "This is Professor—er, Commander Black's last meeting with us, after this, Professors McGonagall and Burke will share the honor of supervising." There were some groans at this news, just as there had been at the Welcoming Feast. Thia was a popular person at Hogwarts. "As we did last fall, we will be reviewing the first few months, getting our new members up to snuff and warming up the rest of us. We will be meeting twice a week to start with, unless there's a majority against it. I just want to get the reviewing out of the way.

"I'd like to reiterate to the old members, and inform the new ones, that this club is serious." Harry paused to let this sink in. "There's a war going on out there, and you never know when the Death Eaters are going to come knocking. I've been told that you all acted marvelously at the Second Battle for Hogsmeade, keeping your heads and protecting the younger students. I may not really be training an army for Dumbledore's use, but I am training you to fight. You never know when you'll need to. The Headmaster may not like the thought of his students fighting in this war, but, dammit, this is our world too and it's our future Voldemort's messing with!" Harry looked into Dumbledore's eyes and was not surprised to see sadness reflected deep inside them. However, acceptance of this was also present and that did surprise Harry, not that it showed on his face. "Are there any questions?"

"Cut the crap and get on to your oh so important explanation," Blaise said dryly. The professors all stirred, and Harry had the distinct impression that they wanted to dock points. Even Snape looked unimpressed, yet Harry just smiled at Blaise in return. The man's blunt honesty was his best feature.

"I guess an apology is needed first," he started, looking at the members and ignoring the adults. "I hadn't meant to miss our end of year party last spring, but Voldemort wouldn't let me leave. I did think of you that Thursday, and I've read what you wrote on the collage. Ginny, Ron, Hermione, and Thia all assure me you had a good time without me, which I was glad to hear." He paused, distressed that there were a few tears in some of the girls' eyes. He ran a hand through his hair and made up his mind on where to go next.

"I'm not going to tell you the details of what happened while I was captured. Though I count many of you as friends, if not most of you, it's not something that you need to know." Harry paused, bringing a finger up to gently brush the black, spidery scar. "But, this is not something I can just gloss over. Though I wish I could, you all already know. And no, Ginny, I don't blame you. You all deserve to know why I tried to kill myself this summer." He paused and stood up. With a few quick steps he was behind the desk and sitting in the chair. He was shaking and needed the desk to try and hide it. This was not easy. Looking over those listening, he continued.

"I have no excuses. I have no reasons that you would understand. At the time it was the best option, the state I was in brought only one solution to my mind. Looking back, as I have many times, I see no other way for that night to end. As most of you know, this scar," he paused to point at the lightning bolt shaped scar that stood out more then ever on his forehead, "connects me to Voldemort. The monster had attacked a Muggle orphanage, and killed everyone there. Then He sent me a finger from everyone who died. No person should ever be pushed that far, but I was. And I'm sorry to say I took the easy way out."

There was a long silence as Harry searched for the words to continue, but before he could find them, Blaise asked, "How?"

Harry looked at Dumbledore for a split second and then shook his head. "The fact I did try and yet survived is all that matters here," Harry answered, looking at his dorm mates and hoping they wouldn't say anything. The old Headmaster and he had agreed that it probably wouldn't be a good idea if it got out that Harry had used an Unforgivable, even against himself. It was, technically, still a crime that should land him in Azkaban for life. "I was in a coma for about a week and in bed for another, unable to even sit without aid. I spent the rest of the summer rehabilitating." Harry turned to look at Blaise, smiling at him. "I can't believe I lasted as long as I did in that duel. That's longer than any duel I've been in for months. I was so sore during the next class, the next day even."

"I owe you another apology," Harry said after a pause, looking everyone in the eye. "I've been told that there are rumors going around that I'm going to have to fight Voldemort to the death." Harry stopped, closing his eyes just a bit longer than a blink. Not only was it difficult to say that demon's name, but also telling all these people about the Prophecy was torture. "There was also a Prophecy made before I was born that says I'm the only one able to defeat Voldemort and He's the only one that can kill me. I wish I could say that I'd forgotten about the Prophecy before I tried to take my life; that I had forgotten with my death I damned the rest of you to life ruled by that demon. I wish that was true. But it isn't. I thought about it, and I couldn't make myself care. I couldn't… and… I am sorry for that." Harry met Dumbledore's gaze across the room, "Someone I respect highly recently reminded me that we shouldn't judge someone by their weakest or strongest moments. I hope you agree with him, 'cause otherwise I'm just as pathetic as Voldemort."

Harry stopped, looking at Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, trying to figure out what they were thinking. He hadn't told them about any of that. There was a slight frown on Ron's face, but Harry knew it was just Ron being worried for him. Hermione had a smile on her face, trying to encourage him the best she could. Ginny wasn't looking at him, but over at the wall where there was a window. Moving slightly in the chair, Harry caught sight of the tear that had made its way down her cheek. Keeping himself sitting in the chair, though he longed to go dry her tears, Harry looked over the rest of the students and teachers. They were waiting for him to continue.

"So the question becomes, why am I here and still fighting? Sure, some of it has to do with the Prophecy and the fact I'm too stubborn to just kick the bucket. And it's true that my Gryffindor-ish sense of nobility and my 'saving-people-thing' has a bit to do with it. But mostly, I just want this bloody war over and done with, and get it behind me. We've all lost a huge chunk of our childhood to this war. I want the first years this year to have seven calm, peaceful, boring years here at Hogwarts without the dangers of crazed professors or insane mass murders or dementors or war or any of the other billion things that have occurred in my six years here. So that, however many years it is down the road, when our kids come here they'll have seven calm, peaceful, boring years here. I guess I'm here for that hope, 'cause let's face it, I'm not here to give Professor Snape someone to glare at." Everyone started laughing, because Snape had indeed been glaring at the Gryffindor. The Professor rolled his eyes at the laughing room and crossed his arms in front of his chest defensively.

"I'm sorry, Professor," Harry apologized. "But what are you going to do after I graduate? There won't be a Potter to glare at."

A sly smile graced the Slytherin Head of House's face and Harry became a bit worried. "Oh, I'll bide my time and wait for the next child that'll bear the Potter name."

"Heaven above, help that child," Tonks called out, causing the room to laugh some more. Laughing after such a depressing speech seemed to help lighten the mood and Harry was thankful for that.

"I'll have to remember that," Harry said mock seriously. "I'm not sure what you were expecting for a first meeting," he continued back on track. "If there aren't any more questions we'll move on to the actual lesson."

"When?" Sephra asked simply.

"You were just fine at your party," Dean said. "I mean, that flashback was—ow! That hurt, Lavender!"

"Except I wasn't 'just fine'," Harry replied. "It was at the end of the first full week of July, Sephra. And trust me, Dean, I was in terrible shape on my birthday; without Ginny's help I wouldn't have made it through the party."

"What happened there at the end? When you passed out screaming?" Luna asked dreamily, while the others nodded their heads in agreement. Harry could tell by the lost looks on the new members' faces that they had no clue what was going on.

"On July 31st," Harry explained to those that didn't know, "the Weasleys threw me a surprise birthday party. At the end, when they were singing to me, Voldemort attacked my mind. That was what caused me to pass out. He and His Death Eaters invaded the neighborhood where I grew up, murdering everyone and destroying the entire block." He paused to collect his straying control on his emotions. "Now, if there are no other questions we'll continue with our lesson."

"Harry, are you alright?" Justin Finch-Fletchley asked Harry after a pause. He didn't answer right away, thinking about the answer carefully.

"The honest answer is," he said slowly, "I'm better than I was at the start of July, but life could be better. It's rather hectic and busy and stressful, and that damn Prophecy ain't helping much." He shrugged, looking at them honestly. "Any more questions?" Everyone seemed too stunned to ask any more. "Alright, I think the Professors can leave now, so that we can start the lesson."

"You handled that well, Harry," Remus complimented him once the last student left. He nodded his head in acceptance and thought of his cliff. The Room shifted into his spot, and he walked over to the edge, this time staring out over the land. Squares of farms, forests, villages, and cities made a checkerboard out of the scene. For some reason, seeing the world from this point of view filled him with wonder and hope. Maybe it was seeing 'the bigger picture' or something, but whatever it was, it calmed him now. And he needed that calm for the next hour or two.

"Okay…" he started, but stopped once he saw the look on his friends' faces. "Look, please… no pity or sympathy. I don't really want it, I don't need it, and it won't help me to talk about this..." Harry watched them exchange glances and their faces cleared before saying, "Thanks."

After a hand had made its slow way through his hair, Harry started talking. "He started with torturing me, personally. He knew He could break into my mind, He just had to weaken me enough. Well, I shouldn't say He was the only one. Others spent time with me, but no one was to use the Unforgivables on me, except Him. It was strange, as much as I hated the pain, I welcomed it. See, He told me that Mr. Weasley was dead and… well… I felt horrid about that and about just leaving. I can't really think of any other choice that I had, but still I just left when you guys needed me the most.

"I guess it was the guilt that hurt the most, nothing they could do to me could hurt worse than what I was doing to myself," he admitted. "The food was awful, just moldy bread and stale water. All I wanted was a single meal prepared by Mrs. Weasley, even if it meant staying there. That first Thursday was an important day, I guess. I mean, I spent time wishing I could have played Quidditch on Tuesday and then that party on Thursday. Thanks, Gin, for having it. It helped thinking that you guys were having fun. But I also knew that my shields weren't going to make it another day. And they didn't. He had found out that insulting Ginny got me angry. This time, I just couldn't pretend to stay calm, and when my guard went down He made it in."

Harry stopped talking, he started pacing up and down along the edge of the cliff. The next time he saw Snape, he would wring that man's neck. 'Talking will help,' he had said. Well, it was just making him bloody worked up and close to breaking down. How was that supposed to help him?

"You okay, mate?" Ron asked him after awhile.

"Hell no," Harry answered angrily, but took a deep breath trying to calm down. "Sorry. So, He broke into my mind and of course, the first thing He had to see was the Death Parade. You know that nightmare where all you guys are paraded in front of me, dead." It was a really revolting dream, even by Harry's standards. "First Bill entered missing limbs, then Charlie entered, burnt to a crisp. Shacklebolt had a hole through his stomach, the twins were torn in two, Tonks tortured to death, and Remus had to watch that. Then Mrs. Weasley was twisted to death, Ron and Mr. Weasley Crucio'ed to death, Dumbledore killed by Him, Thia, Ginny, and Hermione all raped before dying. It was horrible, watching it with Him in my head. Having my horror grotesquely mirrored by His enjoyment and excitement. And when He was done punishing Healer…" Harry stopped, taking another deep breath.

"Once He was done with Healer, He—he started talking to me. Told me that tearing the twins in half was a brilliant idea, and that I should consider a career as a dark wizard." Harry stopped, this time, unable to continue at all. Thia stood and engulfed the young man in a bear hug trying to calm his shaking limbs.

"You would make an awful dark wizard," Ginny told him from her spot in the tree. "Don't you ever listen to Voldemort, Harry! When has he ever been right?" Harry nodded.

"I know," he mumbled into Thia's shoulder. "I never said I believed Him. But… to hear that, from Him… He sounded impressed and… anyway… When I woke up, I found myself in a new cell. The old one had no light and was tiny, this new one looked just like the room in my nightmare. That's when I found the snitch though. I played with it for a few hours after that, but then… somehow He brought my nightmare to life. He left me with them for awhile and then He entered and tried to get the Prophecy.

"That's when I decided to 'forget' it and buried it deep in my memories. So deep He couldn't possibly find it. He never did either. But after that He used nightmares to break me. I… I don't want to talk about them. But I need to… They're all sorts of horrifying things, like you three," Harry said, pointing to Ron and Hermione sitting on their bench and Ginny who was in the tree, "turning into Death Eaters and trying to kill me. Or, you each getting tortured. Or, you guys thinking I'd switched sides. Or, Gin and Malfoy making out." Ron made a gagging noise, and Ginny turned pale white. "Then there were some true visions, where I could watch what was going on with you guys. And in many ways that was worse 'cause I couldn't help, though I knew you needed it. That's how He found out that you guys were at Tonks' place, from one of those visions."

"You could see what was going on with us?" Remus asked slowly. "We'll need to think about this. Whatever allowed you to 'see' that should be thought about more."

Harry nodded slowly, not really that worried about it at the moment. "All this time, the Death Eaters continued torturing me, He was the harshest though. A week or so later, from the day I buried the Prophecy, He found out about it. He tortured me until the Cruciatus almost killed me. After that, any Death Eater that used it would find themselves dead."

"Did any—?" Ron asked, but Harry shook his head, telling him no before he could finish the question.

"No, they valued their own lives too much," Harry replied. "He wanted to break me, which is why Nott was in such a predicament. But… I'm getting ahead of myself. So… He still didn't want me dead. A couple of days later, when Malfoy was torturing me, Sephra came in. He took her to a cell across from mine. I think it was the next day when I put the ring on. I couldn't think about the charm because Bellatrix came in and… er… distracted me. It wasn't 'til the next day that I figured out just what the ring meant. But, I knew that you had left London then and I just got worried.

"One of those days, Malfoy came in to warn me about the rescue," he continued. "He… didn't do it in a very helpful way and when Thursday came I wasn't very sure what to do. Not to mention, Malfoy 'reported' to Him that they had killed everyone at Tonks' place. So, when Snape barged in rescuing me from Lucius Malfoy, I wasn't really in any shape to be rescued. Then Lucius was dead, Order members burst through the doors, and Wormtail dragged me down to my cell. He gave me my wand and left the door open.

"I'm really sorry for not believing it was you, Ginny," Harry begged her. "But… I really thought you were dead."

"Don't worry about it," she said with a shrug. "But how in the world did you manage to fight like you did?"

Harry shrugged and replied, "I'm not sure. I guess I just had so much pent up hatred and anger and resentment that I just… lashed out. I didn't mean for Healer to die. I just wanted him out the way. He was such a pain and I couldn't trust him. And then there was Nott Sr. I'm not sure what happened. I was just going to knock him out and then he started taunting me, saying that I wanted to kill him. And… and… I think He tried to convince me that I wanted to as well. I didn't realize it at the time, but the more I think back on that 'conversation' the more I convince myself that it was Him. Ginny, I would have killed him if it weren't for you. Cold blooded murder." He stopped talking, turning his back to everyone. Thia placed a hand gently on his shoulder, squeezed it once, and then went back to sit down with the others.

"I would have killed you, Ginny," Harry admitted. "If you hadn't brought up the snitch… somehow He never realized I had it and I was thankful for that. It helped me pass time and kept my sanity somewhat intact. I mean, I was shaken, I have to admit that. I knew I was close to going insane. Nott knew that and he didn't want to try His patience."

"Harry, why do you say Voldemort's name when others are around and not around us?" Hermione asked shrewdly. Harry frowned, as if Hermione had caught him in a lie.

"It's just… remember Blaise saying that the school needs me and Dumbledore to be strong?" Hermione and the others nodded, so Harry continued. "Well, I may not want to say it, but I really have to use His name to keep up the façade. And… as much as I hate saying it… it's helping. I'm getting used to it and the monster is losing control of me. Not to mention, the nightmares are losing strength, thanks to talking and the new Occlumency lessons. So, that brings us up to the present. I've talked about the weeks before the suicide attempt and all already. So… any questions?"

"Actually, I want to make a bargain with you," Remus said honestly. "No more keeping things to yourself. We want to help you and we can't if you hide stuff from us."

"I—" Harry stopped and shook his head. "I don't really have a choice," he said dryly. "Yet, I think you're right. I need to keep talking."

"Well, I'm starving," Hermione admitted, "so if we're done, I'm leaving." Everyone stared at the girl and then back at Ron.

"Are you rubbing off on her, Ron?" Harry asked with a genuine smile. "I mean, I know she's been rubbing off on you, but I didn't think it would work the other way around."

"Come on, Hermione," Ron said, grabbing his girlfriend's hand. Ginny jumped down from the tree branch and grabbed Hermione's other hand.

"Let's go to the kitchens," Ginny said wisely, leading her friend and brother out the door. Tonks hurried after them, the poor witch had been working from 2 AM to 2 PM.

"Hey, Remus, Thia, can I talk to you both?" Harry called out.

"Sure," Thia said, turning back to sit on the vacated bench. It stretched out and Remus pulled Harry down between the two siblings. "What can we do for you?"

"Ginny," he said simply. "I'm not sure what to do."

"That is a difficult problem," Remus said with a nod. "What do you want?"

"I want her to be happy and I've been such a prick lately that I don't really deserve her," Harry answered. "I mean, if she's angry enough at me to break up, then I don't want to force anything… That's what I'm asking I guess. How do I be friends with her? How do I get over the awkwardness?"

"You're a romantic, Harry," Thia said with a laugh. "But… how do you be friends with a girl you're head over heels in love with? Remus, you would know best. James managed that the end of sixth year."

"As if I know," Remus said with a shrug. "Just be her friend. What was the biggest thing that broke you up?"

"Talking, or rather not talking," Harry said. "So if I start talking with her again and just hang out with her?"

"It's worth a shot," Thia said, pretending to stroke a beard thoughtfully. "Is that it?"

"No," Harry replied, asking the Room for a particular issue of the Daily Prophet. "This."

"Good news, huh?" Remus said with a laugh. "They're close to clearing him of all charges and once they do, we can present evidence that he's dead, which means his Will can finally be read."

"Why didn't the Order try to clear him sooner?"

"We did try," Thia answered. "But with Fudge still in place, all the Department Heads wanted to worry about was getting him out and finding someone to replace him. Then after Vance was sworn in as Minister, the majority still didn't want to listen. Better to leave the skeletons in the closet."

"But when Peter's body was found… they had to think about it," Remus said dryly. "And, as much as I hate to admit it, Rita did help. She made it public, so the Ministry couldn't brush it under the rug, so to speak. And it's working. Kingsley thinks he'll have Sirius' name cleared by the end of next week. I just wish he was alive to hear the words."

"Yeah," Harry muttered. "So, no one's read the Will yet."

"Of course not," Remus replied. "We couldn't say Sirius had died in the Department of Mysteries, not without incriminating him further or the Order."

"What do you mean?"

"Just think for a minute, Harry," Thia instructed. "Sirius was a wanted criminal, not just for the betrayal of your parents, but for the deaths of twelve Muggles and Wormtail. Hiding him from the Ministry the way Dumbledore and the Order did, was aiding and abetting a convicted mass murderer who had escaped from Azkaban. We couldn't go around saying that he died there or everyone would think he had been there on Voldemort's orders. And we couldn't straighten that out without incriminating the Order and sending ourselves to Azkaban."

"Sirius and I talked about this," Remus said softly. "If he were to die, we weren't to do anything about it until after his name was cleared. It wouldn't be good for our war effort if we all ended up in Azkaban or had to hide as he did."

"We'll have him cleared in a week's time," Thia assured Harry. "Don't you worry about that. Worry about you and Ginny and everything else you have to do."

"Like my first meeting with the Professors as Head Boy," Harry answered slowly. "Merlin, that's going to be tough."

Monday afternoon, Harry and Hermione walked into the common room, each carrying a large stack of parchment. The Head Boy and Girl struggled up to their rooms, dumping the piles on their beds. During lunch, the Professors and the two students had met. With the exception of Snape, Flitwick (both were on lunch duty) and Trelawney (who hardly ever left the North Tower) every teacher was there. It had been the first Head Boy and Girl meeting with the staff and Harry felt almost traumatized by it. Bounding down the stairs in an effort to lift his mood, he stopped next to Ron and Ginny who were playing a game of chess. Hermione came down the stairs slower and still looking dumbstruck.

"You guys have a free period?" Harry asked. The two siblings nodded distractedly. "Want to go to the kitchen with Hermione and me and get some food?"

"Check mate," Ginny said proudly, before she turned to look at Harry and Hermione. "Where were you at lunch?"

"Meeting with the teachers," Hermione replied. "Officially, I mean, as Head Girl and Boy. We missed lunch, so let's go."

"I don't know, I've got work to do," Ginny replied slowly.

"You just told me you didn't," Ron accused.

"I—" Ginny started, but Hermione interrupted her. Hermione bent and whispered something in the other girl's ear; Ginny looked from her brother to Harry and back to Hermione, indecision written all over her face. Hermione nodded encouragingly causing Ginny to stand. The four teens left the common room and went to eat.

Roaming around outside after eating, Harry couldn't help but smile. Ron and Ginny were telling embarrassing stories about one another, trying to out do each other. Their free period was almost over, but no one was making an effort to head back to the dorm rooms to collect their bags and books.

"Hey, shouldn't you all be in class?" Tonks called out to them. She was walking with an Auror Harry remembered from the trip to Diagon Alley. Harry and the gang walked over to the Aurors, who were doing a perimeter sweep.

"Nah, we all have a break now," Ginny replied, shaking hands with the other wizard. "Rayner Volker, right?"

"I told you to call me Volk," the other Auror replied. "This is your boyfriend, right?"

"Ray, that's mean, you were in the Great Hall," Tonks replied, hitting Volker over the head. Harry felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment as Ginny explained the mistake to the confused Auror.

"Tonks, call me Volk or I'll call you Nymph," Volker replied annoyed, rubbing the sore spot on his head. "And I'm sorry, I didn't realize you'd broken up. I mean, you still sit next to each other and everything."

"Observant, aren't you," Ron replied coolly.

"Yes, and his wife thinks so too," Tonks replied, hitting Ron over the head as well. "No need to worry there, Ron, he's just doing his job, not checking out your sister."

"I wouldn't even if I wasn't married," Volker replied. "Dumbledore would have any Auror's neck that tried to hook up with one of his students while we're here. I'm not sure how Kingsley's going to survive the year. Some of the seventh years have already camped outside his door trying to snog him senseless. He's old enough to be their dad."

"That's true," Tonks said with a laugh. "Will you tell your dorm mates to leave the poor bloke alone?" she asked Hermione, who nodded.

"So, why'd you notice then?" Ron asked carefully, his eye locked on Tonks' hand.

"It's his job, stupid," Harry replied, swatting Ron across the other side of his head. "Do you guys have to watch me more than others or just the idiot Gryffindors?"

"Both," Tonks replied with a laugh.

"So you're tagging along to keep an eye on us?" Ginny asked, laughing happily.

"Oh, no, I enjoy the company of the pretty girls at Hogwarts," Volker teased, linking his arm with Ginny's proffered one and running with her toward the Lake.

"Nice to see the four of you together again," Tonks commented lightly before running after the other two shouting for them to wait up. Harry stopped and his best friends stopped as well.

"What does she want?" he asked, watching Ginny talking to the two adults. Harry turned to his best friends, "Does she want friendship or does she want me to try and win her back or does she just want me to disappear? 'Cause… I hate this… awkwardness."

"Just be her friend, Harry," Hermione replied. "That's all she wants from you right now.

"Thanks, Hermione," Harry told her kindly. "If she's ever wondering, just you know… mention that I miss what we had… even when I was being a prick and not very helpful and… understanding."

"I'll keep that in mind… just in case she ever asks," Hermione replied with a wink.

"What if she starts dating someone else?" Harry asked, starting to head toward the others.

"Beat the crap out of him," Ron offered teasingly, dodging Hermione's swing. "I'm kidding, 'Mione! Don't you hit me too! No, really Harry, you accept it, show her how 'mature' you are and how much you want her to be happy, and then make the other guy look as bad as possible compared to you."

"Wow, you have grown up," Harry replied with a smile. "Think we'll get back together?"

"If you play your cards right, of course you will," Ron answered, Hermione nodding from the other side.

"What are you guys talking about so seriously?" Ginny asked them when they caught up. Harry shared a look with the other two, shrugging.

"The fact that the bell is going to ring in five minutes and we can't be late for classes," Hermione answered.

"You know, this would be a great time to practice dueling," Tonks cut in. "I should mention this to Thia; it would be easy to make sure the two of us have the afternoon off every Monday."

"Yeah, just what I want," Harry scoffed, "my homework time taken up by another lesson."

"You call this homework?" Volker asked, smiling. "Hogwarts wasn't this easy in my day."

"Was that last year?" Ginny teased him.

"I'm older than Tonks, thank you very much."

"That's saying something, 'cause she's ancient!" Harry scoffed. Tonks launched herself at Harry, and they wrestled for a few short moments. Harry pinned her to the ground and then stood, brushing his trousers off. "Actually, Tonks is right, it is a good idea, if none of you mind." They all made sounds of agreement.

"Oh, by the way, Ray here is going to start dueling against you," Tonks replied, ducking the friendly punch he threw at her. "That'll be fun. He fights completely different from the three of us."

The bell rang out across the grounds signaling passing time. "Oh, that's not good!" Ginny shouted, before running towards the castle. The Golden Trio exchanged a glance and then followed after her as fast as they could.

Harry dumped his book bag on his Head Boy desk before dropping into the chair wearily. He closed his eyes and rubbed at his forehead. It had been a long week. Classes had started in earnest, the professors piling on the homework. Harry couldn't believe the work he had in his classes, let alone with Dumbledore, Snape, and Thia. Quidditch had started Tuesday night, Katie Bell's empty spot being filled by a second year girl named Kendra Kilpatrick. Ron had excelled as a captain, and Harry knew he really didn't have much to worry about with that.

He had finally figured out where he had heard the name Burke before. Borgin's and Burke's was a store on Knockturn Alley. Though Harry trusted Dumbledore's judgment, he was going to need an explanation. This Burke couldn't be the one that owned that store could he? Harry remembered the one time he'd been in that store. Lucius Malfoy had gone in there, trying to sell incriminating merchandise. It had been Borgin who had bought the objects, so Harry wasn't sure what to think. He might as well trust Dumbledore for now, but he would watch what he said around Professor Burke. It was the safest thing to do after all.

But what made him the weariest was the lesson he had just finished with Dumbledore. That man was a slave driver and yet, Harry felt the rush to learn as much as possible in the short amount of time he had left. Something about this year, some gut instinct, some thing told him that his time was rapidly running out. Harry was both happy and sorry for that. The sooner this final battle happened, the sooner the killing of innocents ended. However the sooner this fight happened, the less time Harry had to prepare. Time… it all came down to how much he could learn in the short time Fate had allotted him. No, not Fate, but Godric Gryffindor.

With a deep sigh, Harry took out the latest editions of the Daily Prophet and Quibbler. Both had pictures of the latest attack of Voldemort's. While the Quibbler concentrated their pictures on the Aurors helping survivors, the Daily Prophet concentrated on the forty-nine people who had died. It had been an atrocious attack during a benefit concert the Weird Sisters were putting on to support those attacked by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Vachel Mente wrote in his article for the Quibbler:

The Daily Prophet was more dramatic and Harry couldn't stand Rita's article. It went on and on about the lead singer Wagtail's death and bass guitarist Tremlett's injuries. She completely blamed the Ministry for the mayhem, saying that if Thia (whom she affectionately called a "come-back-from-the-dead-idiot") really cared about England's defense, she wouldn't spend all her time at Hogwarts, but at the Ministry. She over dramatized the deaths, ignoring those that escaped. It was the type of journalism Harry expected from Rita, however sloppy it was.

Remembering Rita's article about Wormtail and Sirius, Harry crumpled the Daily Prophet into a ball, and threw it into the fire. The Ministry's official investigation was bogged down in technicalities and paperwork. Much to the Order's consternation, Shacklebolt's investigation was not admissible, and the Ministry put together a 'better' one. This second investigation had made little to no progress. Harry just wanted to be able to tell others about his Godfather, tell them that Sirius Black was not a mass murderer to be feared, but a good man, a kind man.

He took out his transfiguration textbook trying to distract himself with the essay McGonagall had assigned to them during last class. A few students came in with complaints: about the food, the way a teacher had punished them, and Peeves. Harry listened to them all, not even bothering to write down the complaint about the food, hiding a snigger when the first year described the horrible punishment Snape had given him (cleaning out bed pans in the hospital wing), and out right laughing at the fifth year who complained about a ruined robe Peeves had spilt ink on. Of course, he offered to clean the robes himself, and did promptly when she agreed. He commiserated with the poor first year, telling the kid some of the things Snape had made him do. It was all he could do not to throw a Slytherin out into the hall when he made a jibe about house elves. On the whole, the afternoon office hours hadn't gone badly. He managed to finish his essay, though he was sure Hermione would find more mistakes than he'd like and he would end up re-writing it. Oh well, at least she was helping.

When supper time came Harry made his way down to the Great Hall, greeting students he knew. He met up with Blaise and Sephra who were arguing at the top of the stairs leading to the dungeons.

"No, you can't have my bracelet as collateral," Sephra replied angrily. "My parents gave it to me for my fifteenth birthday, and I'm not taking it off!"

"Hey, guys," Harry said, interrupting the argument. "What's going…?"

Before Harry could ask, Blaise explained, "Sephra and I have a bet going, but I want her bracelet for assurance that she won't cheat."

"You can't honestly expect her to part with that," Harry replied, honestly surprised by the Slytherin boy's lack of tact. "How about her favorite stuffed animal or something?"

Sephra laughed. "Blaise is the one that still needs his teddy, not me." Then, turning back to Blaise, she continued, "But I'd part with my autographed poster of the Full Moon, fair enough?"

"That seems like a fair trade to me," Harry said with a laugh. "Gin would love one of those."

"YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SLUDGE!"

"What the…?" Harry asked, running towards the Great Hall, where Ron's voice could still be heard yelling at the "pathetic piece of sludge" who was yelling back. Harry came to a skidding halt just inside the Hall doors and his jaw dropped.

Ron and Theodore Nott Junior were wrestling in the middle of the Great Hall; the professors standing around the two unable to stop the boys. Harry couldn't see any of the House Heads, nor the Headmaster although it seemed as though those were the only professors missing. Ron, who had Nott in a pretty decent headlock, was shouting obscenities while the Slytherin shouted back defensively.

"You bloody git, what the hell were you bloody thinking changing like that! I should smash your gourd in!"

"Ron, what are you doing?" Harry said, running to pull his friend away from the boy he was now pummeling.

"That bloody work of slime changed into a bloody spider and bloody well scared the bloody day lights out of me!" Ron yelled, struggling to get at Nott.

"I think you must have been seeing things," Hermione said calmly, helping to placate and hold back Ron. Harry kept his grip on Ron's collar firmly, not willing to let Ron beat anyone to death, even a Nott.

"What's going on here, Nott?" Malfoy's smooth drawl asked, stepping over to stand near the Slytherin. Blaise and Sephra sniffed; Malfoy had been watching the whole scene.

"The weasel's got it into his head that I changed into a spider and it scared him shitless," Nott replied, getting to his feet hesitantly.

"I saw what I saw," Ron proclaimed hotly, shaking Harry off. "Leave off; I'm not going to kill him. Step on him maybe but not kill him."

"That's a pity," Blaise replied, sneering at the other two Slytherin students. Draco hit Nott up side the head and dragged him over to the Slytherin table berating the other student hotly. "So, think Nott's still neutral?" Blaise asked, turning to look down at Sephra.

"Nope," she answered grimly. "I would doubt it. He turned into a spider, Ron?" But, before Ron could answer her, the voice of doom growled behind him.

"Mr. Weasley, Mr. Nott, Mr. Potter, Mr. Zabini, Mr. Malfoy, Miss Granger, and Miss Carrigan, come with me," Snape said dangerously. McGonagall stood behind him with her arms folded firmly across her chest and shaking her head slowly, her lips in a tight thin line of disappointment.

Thirty minutes later, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting in the common room. Ron was furious and the other two were desperately trying to calm him down. It wasn't working; on the contrary their efforts only seemed to enrage Ron further.

"Sure, I hit him. Sure, I called him names. Sure, I'm a prefect. Sure, I did it in the Great Hall," Ron yelled, causing the common room to quiet and look over at them. "But a full month of detentions, plus sixty points, plus a letter to my mum! That's the worse you know, she's going to send a howler and it's going to be nasty!"

"Ron, I'm sure mum'll understand," Ginny yelled from the table she was working at. "You never know… maybe she'll send Snape and McGonagall one instead."

"You know better than to hope for that, Gin! She'll go on and on about how lucky I am that I wasn't expelled and that, had she been in their place, I would have been! She's been extra testy since—" Ron shut his mouth abruptly and Ginny looked down at her parchment. "Since spring…" he finished lamely.

"You're lucky they didn't let me punish you," Hermione told him angrily, trying to get Ron to focus on the present and not the past. "You shouldn't have attacked Nott like that. At the very least you could have come up with a better excuse."

"IT'S NOT A EXCUSE!" Ron shouted. "He's an animagus, I swear. And that bloody spider got away with only a week's detention, twenty points, and no letter to daddy!"

"A letter wouldn't find it's way to Nott Senior anyway," Harry informed him. "The bloody Death Eater won't get it and if the owl did make it there, I'd say it wouldn't be coming back." Ron and Hermione looked at their friend, their frowns deep. The common room (everyone was still eavesdropping) stirred; the uncomfortable silence following Harry's words was too much for most. Everyone had found out slowly some of the basic details of Harry's imprisonment. The one thing everyone had picked up on was Harry's out right loathing of the entire Nott family.

"I just hope he's still neutral," Hermione wished. "I don't want another Death Eater at school."

"Me neither," Ron agreed, looking at Harry who was pale white, but his chin was set determinedly.

"He was probably neutral all of last year, but I think he picked which side he's on a while ago," Harry said with a shrug, pretending that this conversation wasn't dragging up memories he'd rather not think about. "At least since this summer."

"Do you know that?" Ron asked, his voice betraying his nerves.

"No, it's just a feeling I've got," Harry answered. "Spending so much time with dark wizards gives you a feel for them. And, Malfoy was furious at Nott, he's got to have a reason for that."

"I hate this," Hermione spat. "Why can't Voldemort just stay out of our lives?"

"Because He can't be a Dark Lord unless He messes with peoples' lives," Harry said philosophically. "And trust me: it's not messing with them in the nice way."

Ron and Hermione nodded slowly, exchanging a look and a slight touch of hands. That was it, but Harry felt his heart ache for the same type of touch. His eyes strayed over to look at Ginny, wishing that he hadn't messed up so royally with the most precious gift he had.