Harry Potter and the Loss of Innocence

Chapter Forty- Six: The Beginning of the End

Let me fall
If I must fall.
Though the Phoenix may
Or may not rise.
~Josh Groban

If I fall along the way,
Pick me up and brush me off.
And when my smile get's old and faded,
wait around, I'll smile again.
~Matchbox Twenty: Bent

"I'm not going there," Harry told Dumbledore Saturday. Harry had slept most of Saturday away after the wedding, but now he was back in England, watching the sun set a second time that day. The time difference had messed with his head completely. Harry was fighting with Dumbledore in the old man's office, just like last year. The only difference was he wasn't alone this time. Mrs. Weasley, Bill, Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Thia, Shacklebolt, Mad-Eye Moody, and McGonagall were all in the office as well. "There is no way I'm going back there!" Harry declared once more.

"We agreed last spring that you would head to your relatives," Dumbledore reminded him.

"And that was before we factored in the fact that I would be spending 20 some odd days at Malfoy Manor," Harry countered. "Had I known that I'd be spending the start of June there instead of with the Dursleys, I would not have agreed to go."

"You need to spend a few weeks there to keep the blood protection active," Dumbledore argued with him, losing his cool. Harry shook his head.

"I'm not going," he replied in a deathly serious tone.

"You must," Dumbledore insisted. Harry casually looked over the others and realized that they were all stunned. They hadn't expected this argument at all.

"I mustn't do anything," Harry replied. "I'm sick of doing what everyone says. I've spent weeks doing whatever the Death Eaters wanted. None of it was good or pleasant, for me at least. I see no reason to return to the Dursleys. If I'm going to be kept at Hogwarts and Grimmauld then what's the point?"

"The point is, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said, all serious now, "that on both places there is a special ward for you and only you. The power in that ward is based on if you live with blood relatives or not. You will not be entirely safe here or in Grimmauld without it."

"Instead though, I put a target on whichever building I'm staying in that says, 'Here I am, come and get me'?" Harry asked. "I'm safe, but everyone else isn't. He knows my weaknesses, Professor. He knows that all He needs to do is capture just one of my friends and I'll be back in Malfoy Manor. I'll do it all again. Better me then them," Harry told the old wizard. Everyone was stunned by the feeling in his voice. He would do it again. The power was emanating from him once more, brighter then ever before and this only cemented their belief in him. "I can't go back, Professor," Harry begged and the light seemed to dim. "I have no defenses."

"You will be protected," Moody interjected.

"Not those protections," Harry told him. "My Occlumency shields are down. My equilibrium is still off kilter from... everything. I can't face them. Not like this."

Thia looked at the young man and felt her heart break. He was right, he couldn't face them. "Professor, a private word if I may?" Dumbledore nodded and stood to leave the room.

"No," Harry stated simply. "If it concerns me, it stays here." Thia looked at the Headmaster questioningly. He nodded for her to continue.

"Sir, you've had me watch Harry since you dropped him off at the Dursley's," she appealed to him. "I've watched him grow, putting up with shit that even I wouldn't be able to take. Normally, he's more than able to handle it. But this isn't normal, sir. He needs to build up his defenses, or Vernon will eat him alive once he realizes Harry's vulnerable. I've told you what they're like, and you can't seriously want to send him back."

Harry stared at Thia. She had watched him; guarded him throughout his life. A memory surfaced and he examined it. He was painting the shed last summer. He had sensed someone watching so he had looked. There was a face watching from the neighbors' yard. That face, it was Thia's.

"I saw you, last summer," Harry said aloud. Thia nodded. "I knew I recognized you from somewhere."

"That's beside the point," Dumbledore told them. "I know it'll be hard, and I do not believe you'll have to stay more than two weeks. You need to go, and that's the final word." Harry glared at the old man.

"You owe me big time," Harry finally said, relenting. Dumbledore nodded in agreement. "No more than two weeks, do you promise that?"

"I do."

"Fine, I'll go," Harry said, acting like a very unhappy teenager, which he was.

"Now onto the other topic of business," Dumbledore said, changing the subject. "We need to talk about your captivity--"

"Bloody hell, no!" Harry shouted at the man. "We'll talk about that when I say so, no sooner and no later." Harry gave the old man a piercing gaze, and Dumbledore could plainly see the boy's soul. It was tormented. It was hurting. Though Dumbledore knew that it would do Harry good to open up, he couldn't force it. Not with Harry's soul so close to crumbling, and his sanity close to being unfixable. "Do you understand?"

"I do," Dumbledore told him, surprising everyone in the room. Dumbledore looked over at Fawkes, and the bird started to sing.

Harry smiled as the first note hung in the air, but soon he was frowning. The normal sense of peace from the music was lacking. Harry could tell that it was there, but it was just out of his grasp. He looked at the bird and he thought he saw it shed a tear. Is he crying for me? Harry asked himself. For the loss of my innocence? The phoenix nodded his head in time with his song, but Harry couldn't help but think it was an answer to his thoughts as well.

Harry stood before the song was even half done. He couldn't listen any longer, knowing what kind of peace he was missing out on. He looked at the Headmaster, and then away. That look had held thousands of words that Harry didn't know where there. Harry took one more panicked look at Fawkes and then rushed out of the office away from that song. However, that song haunted his thoughts. He couldn't escape it. No matter how much distance Harry put between him and that phoenix, the song still haunted him. He would never be able to escape it.

Dumbledore put his head into his hands and thought hard about that look. Harry was scared; that was obvious enough. The fact that he had grown up too soon was transmitted to the old man clearly. He was severely broken. He was panicking. He was confused. He was angry. He was lost. He knew what he was missing, and it was destroying him.

Dumbledore rubbed his hands across his forehead, trying to think clearly. Where had he gone wrong? The beginning, was the only answer he had to his question.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry stood in the Entrance Hall the next morning. His face was drawn and wan looking. He had lost weight while he had been at Malfoy Manor, and he hadn't gained it back. He still had some of his muscle, but he would need to train before it was back to what it should be. He was going back to the Dursleys' today and he wasn't thrilled with that thought. Over all, the picture Harry made was one of depression, insanity, and dejection.

Harry stood in the Entrance Hall the next morning. His face was drawn and wan looking. He had lost weight while he had been at Malfoy Manor, and he hadn't gained it back. He still had some of his muscle, but he would need to train before it was back to what it should be. He was going back to the Dursleys' today and he wasn't thrilled with that thought. Over all, the picture Harry made was one of depression, insanity, and dejection.

He stepped over to the new addition to the Entrance Hall. A huge collage hung on the wall opposite the doors outside. Harry smiled slightly, remembering watching them hang it. It was one of the true visions he had had at Malfoy Manor. He started reading the bits of paper, amazed by what his D.A. members had written. His eyes found those written by his three greatest friends.

On a lime green piece of parchment and in Ron's untidy scrawl was written: I want to celebrate 'cause I still have my brothers and sister. 'Cause I've got the best friends in the world. 'Cause I'm still alive, even after every single Potions class I've taken. Over a bit, Harry found Ron's handwriting again. "I'm thankful that my sis found the greatest guy in the world to date (no offence, Dean) even if I was a bit of a prick about it at the start... Sorry 'bout that... I just didn't want to lose two of the three most important people to me..." Harry smiled; Ron had grown up quite a bit since then. He'd have to give Ron a hard time about this. He was much more then a "bit" of a prick.

Next to it was a white slip of paper with Hermione meticulously neat hand writing. "I'm glad Ron and Harry locked me in a bathroom with a troll. Okay, not really, but I am thankful they came back, not only because I'd be dead, but also because it was the start of the greatest friendship. Thanks for teaching me that breaking a few rules once and a while is not a bad thing." Harry laughed at the memory. She was very right about that, just like normal. Written below it, in Ron's handwriting was this note: I'm holding you to that, 'Mione. When Harry and I want to sneak out of the common room and head to the kitchens, you can't say anything anymore. This caused Harry to laugh even harder. Ron was right as well. Hermione should not have left that in writing for all the school to read.

Near Ron's first one was another slip of purple parchment with Hermione's handwriting. "I want to celebrate... because I want to. What good is fighting a war for peace if there is nothing worth fighting for to begin with? We could cower and hide and let Voldemort win. Or we could LIVE and have fun and beat Voldemort." Hermione had nailed that. He, Harry, had been saying that for months.

Harry searched for the handwriting that belonged to Ginny. In the lower right corner he found it. Written on a white slip in emerald green ink were these words: I am thankful for still having my mom and all my brothers: Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, and Ron. I don't know what I'd do without them." She had included Percy. Did that mean the brother had been forgiven? Harry needed to ask Ginny that when he found her. He searched for the second one, knowing that it had to be somewhere.

He finally found it, smack dab in the middle. It was short. It was simple, but to Harry it spoke volumes. "I want to celebrate, because Harry is still alive, even if he got himself captured, the git." What had he been thinking? There had to have been another way to save her, Ron, and Hermione. The smile that had been on his lips, left them. Instead a frown appeared and Harry's musings turned dark.

All those who had been present while he argued with Dumbledore left the Great Hall and walked toward him, smiling a good morning at him; Harry tried to smile back. His eyes found Ginny's, and he silently begged for her to forgive him. After he had left Dumbledore's office, Harry had left the castle and just ran. He ran until he didn't recognize his surroundings. By the time he made it back to the common room, Ginny had fallen asleep on the couch waiting up for him. Harry had spent a few hours watching her, before he headed up to bed. He hadn't had the conversation he had promised her yet. It looked like it would be another two weeks before they talked. Not that that's what he wanted; he wanted to have it now, before he left.

Moody took out an old comb and instructed everyone to grab hold of it. Harry couldn't believe everyone was heading to the Dursleys'. They would not be happy. He felt the normal pull of the portkey and then he found himself toward the bottom of a heap. Once they got everyone sorted, Harry realized that they were in the play park near Privet Drive. He started walking toward the house without even thinking. His feet had walked the way so often that they needed no instructions to get there. The others fell in behind him.

Harry realized that it was Monday, which meant that Uncle Vernon was at work. That was probably for the best. He would freak out if he knew that twelve witches and wizards were heading toward his home at that very moment.

Harry caught sight of the familiar house and started to head toward it. As they neared it, McGonagall, Moody, Thia, and Shacklebolt surged to the front. Harry let them pass him, and then he hopped the low wall and reached the door first. They had just walked around the wall and through the gate by the time Harry had knocked. He was going to be in charge of this.

Aunt Petunia opened the door and stifled a scream. She looked past him and saw the others walking to her door. "You should let them in, before they make a scene," Harry warned her. She nodded and moved out of the way so that Harry and the others could enter. Harry led them into the living room.

"Where have you been?" Petunia asked rudely as soon as the door leading outside was shut.

"I've been occupied," Harry answered shortly. Petunia took a good look at the boy and she had to repress a shudder. "I need a room to stay for a few weeks."

"You're room is always opened to you," Petunia informed him. She realized that the room was filled with wizards and witches and paled considerably.

"Let's get this straight," Harry started to tell her. "I don't want to be here, and you don't want me here. But here I am. We'll live with each other. I've been a houseguest in a lot worse conditions, so don't even try to make me submit. I left on rather good terms with you, and I want to keep it that way. Is that alright with you?" Harry finished politely. Petunia nodded, taken by surprise. It seemed that the whole room was.

"As for your husband," Thia continued from where Harry left, "he needs to keep his hands to himself and leave his shouting behind. I'll be watching, as I've been watching you all his life." Petunia nodded but opened her mouth to say something. "I know you don't really have control over it, but do try this year."

Petunia turned to her nephew and smiled. Harry was taken aback. She had never smiled at him like that. "Who are these people?" she asked politely. "I've seen most of them before."

Harry turned to the group and introduced them all. Finally, he was just down to the three most important people in the room. "That's Ron, my best mate. That's Hermione, my other best mate and his girlfriend. And the last person is Ginny, my, er," Harry blushed, realizing that he was talking to his aunt. "She's my girlfriend. That's everyone."

"It's nice to meet you all," Petunia replied. "Professor Dumbledore and I had several long chats this year and, well, Harry, I hope you'll forgive me." Harry nodded, though she knew as well as he did that it was only a promise to think about it. "I will do my best to control Vernon and Dudley. Dudley has been out every day, sometimes for a few in a row, so he shouldn't be much of a problem. Vernon will be at work almost every day for the next few weeks. They have a huge contract in the works and he's been working over time."

"I'm sure you'll take care of Harry for us," Mrs. Weasley responded, carefully keeping her anger toward the woman under control.

"I will," Petunia replied. "Not to rush you out the door, but I have several ladies coming over in half an hour, and it would be best if you weren't here." Moody and Thia nodded in understanding.

"Thank you for letting us in," Thia responded. "I'll be checking in. Harry, hopefully we can work on your Occlumency when I'm here." Harry nodded.

"It was a pleasure meeting you all." Petunia turned toward Mrs. Weasley. "It was your husband that shrunk my son's tongue down, wasn't it?"

"Yes," Harry said quickly, hoping that Petunia didn't make the same mistake he had made a week or so ago.

"Tell him hello from me and give him my best wishes," Petunia offered politely. She was stunned when Molly flew out the door and down the road, with McGonagall, Bill, Fred, and George following close behind. Harry mouthed that he would explain it later.

"Bye, guys," Harry said awkwardly to his friends. He was very conscious of the eyes that were watching them. Thia seemed to notice this and ushered Shacklebolt and Moody out of the house. Petunia took the hint and left as well; though Harry wouldn't put it pass her to peek around the corner. Once a gossip, always a gossip. "Sorry 'bout the way I've been. I just need some space."

"That's okay, Harry," Hermione said, giving him a hug. "We'll wait until you're ready; though, our patience might wear thin after a while." Harry smiled at her and Ron moved forward. He shook Harry's hand in a goodbye.

"Be careful and don't let those Muggles push you around," he told him quietly. "I don't want to be reading about you on the front page of any paper, you understand?" Harry nodded. Ron gave him a quick hug and the two left. Harry turned toward Ginny.

"I meant that you're my girlfriend, Gin," Harry reassured her. Ginny nodded. "I wish we could have talked. When I get back to Hogwarts, I promise that you'll have the first full day I'm there. Unless you can come visit me here, then we'll talk then." She nodded, still unconvinced. "Ginny, please, don't give up on me. I need you."

He crossed the distance between them and embraced her. She didn't fight; on the contrary, she hugged him back. He tilted her head up and kissed her. It was their first kiss since the snog session in the mountain cave back in May. It was everything Harry remembered and more. They broke apart, and Ginny smiled at him. "Remember that, Gin." Ginny nodded and left with a soft and gentle smile on her face.

"Are the freaks gone?" Petunia asked rudely. Harry nodded, he had been sure his aunt's good mood could hardly last. "How dare you bring them to my house?"

"I didn't have a choice in the matter," Harry replied. "I'm going to my room, so leave me alone." Harry grabbed his trunk and heaved it upstairs to the smallest bedroom in the house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry was bored. It was only Sunday afternoon and he was bored already. "What should I do, girl?" he asked Hedwig. She hooted softly and looked at his trunk. "Yeah, I should unpack." So he did.

At the bottom of his trunk he found two things that he had hardly thought about or seen since May: the Journal and the gift from his mum. Picking up the Journal, Harry used the password to read the last letter.

Dear Harry,

It's been several weeks since you said goodbye to me. I miss you. I moved to Tonks' yesterday. It's better then Grimmauld, yet, nothing is quite the same without you here with us. Everyone's so worried about you. Every Order member is bent on finding you. Remus looks like he's aged a decade with the worry for you. So does Dumbledore. I guess I do too.

Tonks is great. We've talked a lot about nothing in particular and Hermione and I have only been here a day. Ron's around here too, but he spends his time with Tonks' dad, Ted. They've hit it off great! But, underneath it all, we're all worried for you.

I've realized just how much you mean to me. I've known for a while that life wouldn't be nearly as good without you there somewhere in it, but I now know that you're more important then that. Harry, I miss you! I nee...

There was a break, but the letter continued on.

Sorry 'bout that, but Tonks' place was attacked. We're all fine and the Death Eaters didn't get past the wards. I've got to go to sleep now.

Night,
Ginny

Harry!

They know where you are! I don't have a lot of time, because somehow Remus convinced Mum to let Ron, Hermione, and me go to the Order meeting where we're going to plan your escape. I can't wait! I hope they let us help in the rescue!

With all my love,
Ginny

Dearest Harry,

I write this as you lay on a bed in St. Mungo's. I'm not sure what just happened, but I've decided that this letter will not be about that. It'll be about... well, whatever I think of while I'm sitting here.

First, Bill and Melissa got engaged! Can you believe that? Mum has perked up a bit with that news. We don't know when the wedding will be, but it sounds like Operation Wedding won't be over as soon as we thought. I'm so excited! And Melissa wants a huge family. That means I'll have lots of nieces and nephews! That should be a lot of fun too, though that's several years away.

I'm glad you put your dad's ring on. It surprised me at first, but I was glad to know you were alright and that you were truly alive. I knew, and yet, I couldn't be sure. Once you put that ring on, I knew that you were alive. It was a very nice thought.

Ron's had a few fights with Charlie about you and me. Charlie muttered once that this was what he was afraid of, me hurting 'cause you weren't there. He also said he was losing hope that you'd come back to us alive. Ron laid into him for that. One would think he had been all for us since the start. I guess he's grown up a bit. Well, actually a lot since then. We all have. I'm glad that Ron and you had that fight when you did. Had you been in the middle of the fight now, there's no way Ron would be able to live with himself. He's a better friend 'cause of it, and a better brother.

I miss you utterly and completely, Luv, even if you are laying in the bed right in front of me. It just isn't the same as when you're up and moving. The healers say that you'll wake up soon, so I won't be far from your side, unless they make me. They will probably make me leave, but I'll be back as soon as I'm allowed back. I promise that!

I can't wait to talk to you. We'll only talk about what you want to talk about and I really can't wait to tell you about the Harpies! They've won... Oops, never mind. I want to tell you in person, so that I can see your face. They did win their first game as the English team for the World Cup. They play Bulgaria next week, and Krum is trash talking like you wouldn't believe. I think he's still sore about his and Hermione's break up.

Well, like I said, the Healer is kicking me out now. I'll be back. I promise.

Love,
Ginny

Harry couldn't help but smile sadly. Ginny had been so optimistic. Or at least, she was trying to be. He had really screwed that up. He noticed a hurriedly scrawled note at the very bottom of the page.

Dear Harry,

Dumbledore is making you go to the Dursleys' tomorrow. I don't think we'll have time to talk so I want to get this written so that Hedwig can deliver it to your trunk.

I've been thinking about what you said Friday afternoon. I know you didn't want to say most of that, but I'm glad you did. I thought I should let you know that I knew when you were watching. When I didn't want to live at Grimmauld, I could tell you were there, trying to reach me. At my dad's funeral... I wouldn't have been able to get through it without your presence. I knew you were there at those times and it comforted me. More than you could ever know. Thank you, Luv.

I'm not sure what's going on, but I still love you. Please know that no matter what happens I will always love you, Harry James Potter. You're hurting, it's so clear to me. Without any of your normal shields, it's painfully obvious.

I'm going to try my hardest to convince Dumbledore to let me visit. We need to have that chat you promised me, and I need to see you to make sure that you're alright. I hope we'll do a bit more then just talk. Because you can't see my face, I thought you should know that I'm grinning at you in the way Ron hates so much.

Until I see you next, stay safe and sound.

I love you, Harry. I love you more then I can tell you.

Yours forever and ever and ever and ever etc. etc.,
Ginny

Harry stared at that letter. She still loved him! She wanted to visit to talk and do a bit more then that. Harry wasn't going to stop that. He wanted to talk to her as well. He closed the book, clearing the pages. He looked over at the gift from his mum. Harry picked it up and broke the tape that sealed it. Pulling back the brown paper, Harry saw that it contained a shoe box. He slid the top off the box and stared at the contents. There were a few Journal-like books, loads of pictures, and some small items. Harry picked up the photos and noticed that some were still, Muggle shots. Not all were Muggle though, many were Wizard moving shots.

Harry smiled at a picture of the Marauders with Thia, Sam, and his mum. They were waving at the camera and smiling like crazy. Harry stared at his mum and dad. They were standing next to each other, but they weren't holding hands. Harry remembered that they didn't start going out until the September of their seventh year. If they were friendly with each other, then that must mean that it was the summer before that year.

There was a picture taken of Lily and her family. Her parents were smiling, but Petunia was glaring. Lily had an arm wrapped around the unhappy girl, and Harry thought that that might have been the reason for Petunia's frown.

Harry spent most of that afternoon looking through the photos. He felt a tear or two escape, but he didn't pay them any attention. There were a lot of pictures of his mum and her friends at school. There were a surprising amount of pictures of James before the seventh year, years that Lily had supposedly hated him. He stared at the last picture. Lily was obviously extremely pregnant with him and James stood behind her, his arms wrapped around her stomach. He missed his parents. He missed Sirius. He wanted them to be alive and to have grown up with them. Life would have been so different had he not lived with the Dursleys those ten long years.

He turned his attention to the notebooks, taking the first one and reading the cover. "The Secret and Solemn Musings of the Wild Goddesses." Harry opened the cover and read the first page.

The Goddess of Word greats you, whoever you are that is reading this. May what has been written in here enlighten you to our lives and struggles. Just because we are Goddesses does not mean we have life easy.

The Goddess of the Moon welcomes you, traveler. You have made your way into a deep adventure. May the musings of this book not drive you insane, for if you are a mere mortal, it will.

The Goddess of Flora greets you as our most honored guest. If you are reading this, you are trusted and blessed by the three Wild Goddesses. May you forgive us our mistakes, for we were not and are not perfect. Celebrate our triumphs and mourn our losses.

Harry smiled as he turned the page.

GW wants it known that her true name is Samantha Prewitt and is more normally called Sam. She also wants it known the GM and GF are stupid for the sappiness they wrote on the last page.

GM wants it known that her truest name is Thia Lupin, though her mother tends to call her Synthia when she's in trouble. She also wants it known that GF should stop fawning over that picture of a certain Marauder and write her stuff down.

I am not fawning over it! I'm just deciding the best way to tear it up into a billion pieces. *clears throat* GF wants it known to all that her common name is Lily Evans. She also wants it to be very clear that she does NOT like JP and never will.

GW wishes to express her doubt of that fact and feels that she should let everyone know that the Wild Goddesses or WG's are first year students at Hogwarts.

GM agrees with GW on the fact that GF might indeed like the git, which I feel sorry for that fact.

GF hates GM and GW for their pathetic lies.

Harry smiled at the three friends. This would be a good read and he would learn a lot about his mum and her friends. Harry noticed that there were seven other notebooks with the title of The Secret and Solemn Musings of the Wild Goddesses. There were two other notebooks and Harry opened it up. He realized that they were letters written between his parents or just notes, because some of the messages were only a line or two long. At the bottom of the shoe box was a loose sheet of paper. Harry picked it up and realized that it was a letter addressed to him.

My little Harry,

I'm writing this letter knowing that if you read this I am dead. It's a humbling thought and I'm not sure if I really comprehend it or not. I'm sorry that I was not there to watch you grow up, to hug you and love you as a mother should. I gave Thia this shoebox to give to you on your sixteenth birthday. Your dad gave Remus something to give to you as well, though he won't tell me what.

I hope by now you've been told that damn Prophecy. If you haven't, put this letter down, find Dumbledore, and ask him about it. He's not getting out of that so easily! If you're still reading this, then you know about it.

Know this, prophecy is only a guide, it is not a command. If you don't want to face the prospect of fighting Voldemort, then don't. Good deeds done for the wrong reasons are not good deeds at all. I hope and wish that you do want to fulfill it. It may seem like a daunting task, but have no fear, you will be able to do it. I know you will. Love and good will always vanquish hate and evil. Those beyond this world see something in you, my dear son. Whatever it is, they know it is strong enough to help you defeat the monster.

Don't push those near you away! They are important and they are what make life worth living. Without those you love, life becomes a hollow shell. It is love that Voldemort doesn't understand, and he will always underestimate it. Use that to your advantage.

Harry, I love you. Your father loves you as well. I don't know if James is dead or not, but I suspect he will be. I wish I could have seen you grow up. James, I know, wishes the same thing. He probably won't think of writing you a letter, the daft prat. Maybe I'll get him to add a note to the end of this. Maybe not, he's playing around with Sirius, Remus, and Peter at the moment. There's no way I'll be able to drag him away from them.

Those four are troublemakers if I've seen some. I can't believe Sirius is going to be a dad. I hope you'll be able to meet your God-sibling. Of the Marauders, the only one I can really see as a dad is Remus, and he's still single. Not that James isn't a good father to you; he's just too much of a child yet. Take for example what he and Sirius are up to at the moment. James took the last chicken leg and is taunting Sirius with it. He's going to get hit. Sirius takes his chicken seriously... Meh, I can't believe I just said that! I've been hanging out with the Marauders too much! Where's Thia when I need her?

Well, you're crying and James is in the middle of a wrestling match, so I have to go check on you. I hope Remus will make sure they don't hurt each other! Until we meet in the afterlife my dear son, keep yourself out of serious trouble and work hard on your school work.

Love you with all my heart,

Lily Potter

Harry--

So, Lily thought I wouldn't tear myself away from my friends long enough to write my son a letter! HA! I showed her! Of course, I'm hiding from Sirius at the moment, so maybe she has a point. Geh! I hate when she's right... which is almost always.

I love you son. Just make sure you remember that. She's probably right that if she's gone then I'm gone as well. I don't think I could live without your mother. But that's beside the point. It means that you grew up with neither of your parents, and I'm sorry about that. I wish I could have seen you grow up. Watch you play Quidditch for the Gryffindor house team. Watch you play around with your god-brother. I don't care what Lily and Thia think, it's going to be a boy. It wouldn't be right if it was a girl! Then again, you could marry said girl, and then Sirius and I would be related by marriage! How cool would that be?

Sorry about the tangent... And sorry about the abrupt end, but Sirius just turned into his mutt form which means he'll find me in a sec. I love you, Harry. I always will. Until we see each other in the afterlife, get into as much trouble as possible and make your teachers pull their hair out at least once an hour. I have faith in you!

Love you, son,

James Potter

Harry set the letter down and stared at the wall without seeing it. Thia had been right all those weeks ago. Lily knew exactly what he needed. Chuckling through his tears, Harry put everything back into the shoe box and hid it under the loose floor board. Harry changed quickly into his pajamas and he opened the window so that Hedwig could leave if she wanted to. He climbed into bed, taking off his glasses as he went.

What would come would come. But he had people who loved him, and parents and a Godfather looking out for him from the other side. Harry fell asleep soon after that thought, and had the first peaceful night's sleep since before the final Quidditch game. It was a welcome change.