Heaven Sends

~
Cause she's an angel for sure
But that remains to be seen
~

He couldn’t believe it, at first. There was no way she was gone, only yesterday she had been telling him about the trip to Indonesia she was taking to hunt down some animal for the Quibbler and interview it -- what had the animal been called? He couldn’t remember now, he never could. All he remembered was her dreamy voice telling him, kissing the children goodbye and telling them to be good for Daddy, she would see them in a week or so.

She went away all the time, but this time she was not going to come back home, tell him about the adventure he missed, and read the Tadpoles -- what she had always called the children -- the article for proofreading. “Because children know more than we think they do,” she had said.

Neville didn’t know what he would tell them, this time.

~
But it's too late for his love
Already caught in a trap
His angel's kiss was a joke
And she is not coming back
~

“Daddy, when’s Mummy coming back?” Bliss cried, pulling on his hand. It had been more than two weeks, and the triplets still thought she was coming home. Breeze, Bliss, Blossom were his salvation right now, the way they kept living even when he thought he couldn’t anymore. What was life without Luna?

For the triplets, it was building a castle in the backyard and trying to use their baby brother Gulliver as a flag, getting in trouble at preschool, and running around chasing butterflies. But now, after two weeks without Mummy to tell them “Careful, there’s the Geignes might get you!” was starting to show. They wanted Mummy now, and nothing he could tell them would make them believe she couldn’t come.

Even Franklin, who was nearly six, had started to help him try to convince them. Franklin was quieter than he had ever been. Luna had always tried to spoil him -- Franklin had eaten more marmalade in six years than Neville had in his entire life -- and he clearly missed her, and understood that she wouldn’t be back.

~
He's got a reason to pray
His life is under the gun
He's got to hold every day

Now he just wants to wake up
Yeah, just to prove it's a dream
~

The middle of the night, Gulliver screaming from his crib. Rubbing his eyes and trying to wake up, Neville lurched out of bed. This was Luna’s speciality, calming screeching babies. He didn’t know what she did, but he could never calm Gully -- or Franklin, or the triplets -- the way she did.

When Gulliver was asleep again, whatever made him scream gone, Neville went back to bed, shivering despite the motley layers of blankets. It was so cold at night without Luna.

~
Stupid on the streets of London
James Dean in the rain
Without her it's not the same
~

It was raining today. Guliver was at daycare, the triplets at preschool, Franklin playing at a neighbor’s house, so Neville was all alone. He watched the rain from inside for a few minutes, then went out.

The chill rain soaked through his clothes, piercing to his skin. If she was still here, she would dancing, not caring that it was freezing, singing a song that she made up at the very moment. He would find himself pulled in by her song, by her beauty, dancing too, laughing at the rain that thought it could stop her from being Luna.

But she wasn’t there to sing the grey awfulness of the day away. Blinking back hot tears, he lay down in the grass and closed his eyes. The Tadpoles would live. He would live. But right now, he needed to remember.

~
Because heaven sends and heaven takes
Crashing cars in his brain
Keep him tied up to a dream
And only she can set him free
And then he says to me

Kill me now, kill me now, kill me now, kill me now
~