Hogwarts Gone Mad

"Wait!" a voice screamed from the doorway, "I haven't auditioned yet!"

All heads turned to face the door, where a red faced Gilderoy Lockhart was standing.

"I came as soon as I heard," he stopped to breathe "So, can I try out?" he finally asked looking hopeful.

"I suppose so," Hermione said, eventually, "but be quick about it."

He walked over to the Wizard radio, gave a wave of his wand, and stood in the middle waiting for the song to begin. After 5 minutes, nothing had happened. An impatient Hermione gave a wave of her wand, and the music began.

After a further 10 minutes of watching Lockhart dance, Hermione got back on the stand, and cleared her throat. Everyone immediately looked up at her.

"After much thought, we have decided to let two members join the team. One will be our back up, and one will be our new squad member. The back up member is... Gilderoy Lockhart!"

At this the crowd went mental. There was clapping and cheering (mostly from the Slytherins), and a few catcalls. Hermione waited patiently for a while, but she soon called for silence.

"And the winner is... Uncle Voldie!"

The hall practically exploded at this. Harry and Ron were slapping him on the back, glad to be rid of him, and Draco started dancing ballet. Snape was crying in a corner.

Uncle Voldie walked up to the platform and formed a huddle with the cheerleaders. After a while, he came out of it and walked to the microphone.

"After much discussion with my fellow cheerleaders," he began, "we have decided to offer my best ever friends, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasly, places as back-ups on the team."

Harry and Ron just looked at each other. Suddenly, Snape stood up.

"It's not fair!" he wailed, "I wanted a place! I'll get you for this, Potter!" he then ran off, crying.

Back in Potions, Snape was his usual, bubbly self. He stood up at the front, wearing lurid pink robes, waiting for the class to begin.

When the bell rang, he said,

"Settle down, class. As a special lesson, we shall be learning about love potions!"

Hermione groaned at Draco, who was dancing round the classroom singing,

"Love potions! Love potions1 Love potions!"

Snape didn't even bother stopping him before continuing his speech.

"Not only will you learn about them, you will also make them! Now who can tell me a little about love potion?"

To everyone's surprise, Hermione's hand shot straight into the air, along with Draco's, who had his hand up while dancing round the room.

"Hermione, would you care to answer?"

"No," she replied, "I was just wondering if I could leave the room for the rest of the lesson."

"Oh, certainly, darling!" he replied joyfully, "Now, on with the lesson. Draco, would you care to answer?"

"Oh, of course, Professor Snape," he replied, his voice bouncing as he danced, "Love potion is used to make the person it is made for fall madly in love with the drinker."

"Brilliant! Another 10 points from Slytherin house!"

"Thank you sir!"

Then an idea struck Draco. He could...

To be continued.