A Godfather's Love (aka The Other Side of the Coin)

8 -- More Private Discussions

Consequently, it was somewhat earlier than usual that Harry met with Sirius, and he was naturally disappointed when Harry said that all he wanted to do--at least for the time being--was talk. It was very hard for him to sit near Harry and not touch or kiss him, but the look in the boy's eyes told him that this was a serious matter that he needed to discuss before they could do anything else. Harry had even made sure to leave the door open, so he could be certain nothing happened.

"Just what is it you're concerned about?"

"How do you feel about having children?"

Sirius gave his godson/lover a funny look. "What brought this on?"

"I need to know, Sirius," Harry insisted, choosing not to notice that Sirius had answered his question with a question.

"If you say so," came the reply. "What's on your mind?"

"Just what I mentioned earlier. How do you feel about children?"

"I love children. Why do you ask?"

"It was ... something Ginny told me," Harry confessed. "Is it true that there is a means for two gay wizards to have children without resorting to a surrogate mother?"

"It's true--but as I said, why do you ask?"

"Do you want children someday?"

"Of course I do. What bloke doesn't?"

"Could you tell me just what the means is for gay wizards to have children?"

Sirius once again gave Harry a funny look, unable to help wondering why it was so important for Harry to know such a thing. But he figured Harry must have a good reason for asking, so he decided to supply the answer.

"To begin with, it's necessary for the wizards in question to have ... engaged in physical love at least three times. This generally stimulates hormones that promote accelerated growth of extra organs, which enables the younger of the two to become pregnant."

"How many times have we made love?" Harry asked.

"At least twice, if memory serves ... Wait a minute. Are you asking me about this because you think you might become pregnant or something?"

"The thought's crossed my mind," Harry returned dryly. "But at the same time, we should remember that I'm getting married to Ginny next month and would really prefer to get her pregnant before experiencing it myself."

"Are you saying that you expect me to put our relationship on hold until Ginny becomes pregnant? That could take weeks, if not months."

"I know, but we may have to. I need to know how to deal with someone else's pregnancy before I can deal with a potential one of my own."

Sirius sighed sadly but resignedly. "I suppose you're right--but nowhere does it say that I have to like it."

"I don't like it, either, Padfoot, but a lot of necessary things aren't easy."

That's easy for you to say, mate. You haven't waited months to actually be intimate with someone you've loved for years and then have to stop, Sirius couldn't help thinking.

But he couldn't fuss too much, at least not in front of Harry. He was supposed to be the mature one, but it was hard to be mature when he was being denied the one thing he loved most in the world for Merlin knows how long. Even under the best of circumstances, it could take weeks before he would be able to have Harry again. At this rate, he would be lucky to be able to kiss him, embrace him, or even hold his hand, much less anything else, for weeks. Sirius sighed again. Oh well, it was probably for the best--but that didn't mean he had to enjoy the prospect.

But as Harry had said, a lot of necessary things weren't easy. On the other hand, he'd experienced a lot of difficult things before; this would be only the latest in a long line of same. He supposed all he could do was pull himself up by his bootstraps, at least figuratively speaking, and put some backbone where his wishbone presently was. He couldn't be so selfish as to put his own needs and wants before Harry's. After all, his upcoming marriage was something everyone close to Harry had been hoping and planning for years, and Sirius couldn't stand in the way of the boy's happiness, even at the expense of his own. Well, if he couldn't have him in one way, he would have to content himself with the relationship they had originally had ... and even that was more than he'd had for the twelve years he'd been stuck in Azkaban and Harry was living with his relatives from Hell.

What mattered, though, was that Harry was finally away from those monsters forever, and he intended to see to it that Harry was never anywhere near anyone that didn't love him ever again--whatever the consequences to him. What was most important was Harry's well-being, both physical and emotional, so Sirius resolved to do all he could for the boy, as a proper godfather should. However difficult it was likely to be to keep both his hands and lips off him, it was his duty to do so--both now and in the future, for however long as was necessary. Meanwhile, he finished telling Harry everything he needed to know about how gay/bisexual wizards became pregnant.

* * * * *

It wasn't until the following night after making love that Harry and Ginny were able to discuss the matter themselves. She was lying in bed with him, her head on his chest, his arms locked around her and cheek resting on the top of her head, just as hers were locked around him.

"You know, luv, I could tell that Sirius wasn't pleased at the idea of having to put his and my relationship on hold so I would be able to get you pregnant first," Harry couldn't help remarking.

"Not surprising. You know how long he's waited for you and how frightened he was of approaching you with his true feelings for you ... and now to find out he has to wait for you again and not be able to touch you or anything for Merlin knows how long. I mean, I know how I'd feel in that situation, that's for sure!"

"It's not going to be easy, certainly, but as I told him, a lot of necessary things aren't easy. Besides, I can't afford to get pregnant first. In addition, I'm not even sure they have contraception for wizards in our situation, much less that the ordinary means would work."

"As far as I know, it would--but I'd need to do some more research on the subject. If I can't find anything that applies to those in your situation, I'd have to ask my supervisor ... but I'm hoping I won't have to do that."

"Then all we can hope for is that you'll be able to find something that will help us without having to ask anyone else. Which reminds me, let's get back to what we were doing before, so in the event of a worst-case scenario, I can manage to get you pregnant first before it happens to me." With that, she lifted her head to face him, and he bent his head down to kiss her with great tenderness and passion, greater than any the couple had ever shared.