Harry Potter and The Heirs of The Founders

Chapter Eight

Pensieve

"Past is past and we must live the present to survive the future." (Martin Ducavne)

"Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realised by man ever dies, or can die." (Thomas Carlyle)

"The past is only the present become invisible and mute; and because it is invisible and mute its memories, glances and its murmurs are infinitely precious. We are tomorrow's past." (Mary Webb)

*~*

Chrys and Sirius were in their sitting room still amazed at the events that had unfolded. They both couldn't believe that after all their hard work something as simple as a letter and a hoof print had brought James to them.

Chrys could tell that there was something wrong. Sirius had been very unsettled since they returned and there had certainly been something lacking from James' reappearance. He had certainly given off the vibe that he was not completely comfortable with this James.

'Aren't you glad to see your best friend?' she asked softly.

Sirius didn't reply. He took along time strewing over the question.

'Of course I'm glad to see him,' Sirius eventually replied defensively. 'But he's not James. Not the James I remember anyway. He's different. He doesn't understand. It was different with Lily. She knew exactly what had been happening in our world. She got to see both of us for who we are now. I don't know if you realise just how much James' statement about you changing is true. You've changed a lot more than physically. You're practically a different person. You've been changed by living, existing in the world, whereas James has not. He looked like a shadow of his former self. You saw the shock on his face when he saw Rose didn't you?' She nodded in reply. 'He had completely lost track of time. If I know James Potter, and I did once know him well, I'd say that he's going to struggle with completely losing seventeen years of his life.'

'I don't disagree with you Sirius,' she answered. 'But by all accounts he should be dead. If people see him then they will think they're seeing a ghost. I think that will be harder for him than losing seventeen years.'

'There's absolutely no way we can understand what we have been through,' Sirius continued. 'He cannot possibly understand what has made me into the man I am today. Seventeen years is a long time not to see someone when you've only known them for ten.'

'Sirius, it's a little less than half our lives,' Chrys replied. 'You were thirty-eight this year.'

'If only there was a way to make him understand,' Sirius said. 'Preferably before he meets Harry if that is at all possible. Harry had enough trouble getting used to Lily and Rose and they'd been in the wizarding world.' Sirius realised what had been forgotten in the night's activities. 'I wonder if Lily told James about Harry. I wonder how he'll take that. He hasn't seen his son for the best part of his son's life and he's going to be reunited with him on his wedding day!' Sirius laughed. The idea was quite amusing.

'Rose didn't get told either,' Chrys said. 'And I believe that was the whole point of tonight's exercise. It doesn't matter, I'll tell her tomorrow. I've got sixth year Gryffindor's at nine. Perhaps you can find Ron. You know him better than I do. You've got a better idea of how he'll take it.'

'I doubt the news will shock him,' Sirius said. 'It's just that he's finding it slightly difficult to deal with everything that's happening. He's not only got his problems to deal with, but Rose's as well. And he's been assigned Terry Boot as a partner. I think Ron will be doing his best to get to next stage where Terry isn't his partner anymore. The guys a know-it-all and can seriously get on your nerves.'

'Hopefully that's all he is,' Chrys added. 'He was a very ambitious student, especially for a Ravenclaw. If I hadn't known his house I could have easily assumed he was a Slytherin. On another note, do you know who the responsibility will fall on if it comes to war, don't you?'

'Yes,' Sirius said. 'The Hit Wizards. They're the only ones trained in that kind of thing.'

'Have we any news from the Isles?' Chrys asked. 'Surely Terri must have returned by now.'

'Not yet,' Sirius replied. 'But I'm due to speak to Alec tomorrow. Now back to important matters. How can we get James to understand? How can we show him?'

'I might have an idea,' she replied a smile coming to her face.

*~*

'Rose, can I see you a minute?' Chrys called the girl over to her at the end of the class. 'I guess you must be wondering why we were looking for you last night?

'Actually Lily came and found me this morning,' she said. 'She told me.'

'Are you holding up okay?'

'I'm fine,' Rose replied. 'Much better now, after last night I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.'

'What class do you have at ten?'

'Herbology,' she replied. 'Can you get me out of it please?'

'Here,' Chrys handed the girl a note. 'Give this to Professor Sprout. I hope she won't mind too much. If anyone asks, you're helping me for the next couple of hours. I'll see you down at Charlie's cabin after you've made your excuses for Herbology.'

Chrys glanced at her watch and hurried down to the hut. She wanted to beat everyone there so she could have a few minutes with James.

She reached the hut finding James alone. She knew she would have about ten minutes until everybody else arrived.

'Morning James,' she said with a smile on her face. 'You're looking much better.' He was. A lot can be said for a decent night's sleep in a comfortable bed. 'Did you and Lily get a good chance to talk last night?'

'Yes,' he replied glancing at his watch which still worked. 'You're early. No surprises there.'

'I wouldn't assume you know me that well James,' she replied. 'I came to talk to you about Sirius.'

James nodded. Chrys could sense that he had an idea where this was going. Sirius had given out enough vibes the night before that suggested he was uncomfortable.

'Is it about Azkaban?' James asked. 'I'm still struggling to believe he went to Azkaban. I'm still, after seventeen years, struggling to believe that Peter had the ability to fool everyone and Sirius was the one who suffered because of it.'

'I know,' she replied. 'When Sirius first told me I couldn't believe him. It was too difficult to conceive. Anyway, Sirius is concerned that both of us have changed so much that it might be difficult for you. We realise that you won't understand where we're coming from. And we can't make you understand by telling you what happened because by doing that you can't understand the emotions. You can't possibly conceive what type of world we were living in.'

'I realise things haven't been easy,' James began but Chrystal cut him off.

'It's not that,' she said. 'You just need to see.'

'I need to see?' he asked clarifying what she had just said.

'Sirius and I talked about it and we decided that I should take you through my Pensieve,' she said.

'Those are private memories Chryssy,' he said slightly taken aback. 'I don't know if I really need to see them.' Chrys noticed the stress he put on the word need.

'Teasairg mi,' she said under her breath. Save me. 'I would have to chaperone you of course. But we think it's something you need to see. Simply because you've been isolated from the rest of us for so long. We would have got Lily to do it as well if she hadn't been living in Gryffindor Tower for the last four years. She got a better insight into a lot of things than we did. Will you at least try it? For Harry's sake as well as ours?'

He nodded.

'I will do it for Harry's sake,' he said. 'On the condition that you siphon out anything that I shouldn't see. I may not know Sirius now, but I knew him very well in the past and I wouldn't put it past him to play a joke on me for old time's sake.'

'I don't blame you James,' she said. 'The only thing I can't show you is what it was like for Sirius in Azkaban. He doesn't talk about it too often but I imagine that he will open up about it eventually.'

At that moment they were joined by Dumbledore, McGonagall, Lily, Sirius, Rose and Snape. Chrys knew she would never forget the look on James' face when he saw Snape. It was a look of sheer disbelief.

'Snape?' James exclaimed almost angrily. 'What the bloody hell is Snivellus doing here?'

'Calm down James,' Dumbledore said in his slow and careful manner which always seemed to have a calming effect. 'Severus is the Potions master. He has also been working closely with me on other matters. He is trustworthy James. You have my word on that.'

'Right,' James said, not sounding entirely convinced but accepting that he must take his old Headmaster's word on it. 'So I guess you'll have to bring me up to speed on what's going on.'

'As you are no doubt aware, Voldemort has returned,' Dumbledore began. 'Recently there have been disappearances similar to his last rise to power. You may or may not remember the disappearances that occurred last time; however this time they all appear to be Muggle-born witches and wizards that have vanished. This is unlike the first time, when it was powerful witches and wizards that would possibly stand in Voldemort's way that disappeared.' Chrys noticed Sirius flinch when Dumbledore mentioned this. Some scars just don't heal. 'We have sent an operative to investigate some intelligence but we believe that Voldemort has not killed them, that he is merely holding them. For what reason we don't know, but we're certain that he's torturing them. The Ministry of Magic is only just getting concerned about this now. I am sorry to say that it appears that Mr Fudge and I have had a parting of the ways. He refused to believe that Voldemort was back and that unfortunately put him a few years behind us. He was forced to recognise it during Harry's fifth year when Voldemort attacked the operatives at the Department of Mysteries in the Ministry of Magic. Then last year he attacked the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade. We believe he was directly targeting Harry. Harry fortunately was not in the shack at the time of the attack; however he does feel somewhat responsible for the deaths that occurred. Whatever the case may be, it is evident that Voldemort believes the words of The Prophecy of Soaghal. He has made numerous attempts on Harry's life and I have no doubts he will do the same to you, if he learns you are alive. You have been protected against the Avada Kedavra curse once by the protective charm and we have no evidence that it will work again if you were to be hit with the killing curse again. For now, Harry is being hidden, under the Fidelius with the additional protection of this charm. He is, however, emerging from hiding to play Quidditch and keep up public profile so that Voldemort does not actively seek his Secret Keeper. If he gets hit by the Avada Kedavra curse, we will be more prepared than we were with you and Lily. We will fake his death and he will live in full hiding. We can use this to surprise Voldemort, for he believes that if Harry is dead, he will not fall.'

'So the short of it is that both Harry and I are in danger,' James stated. He almost didn't believe what Dumbledore was telling him. If it had been somebody else he probably wouldn't have, but it was Dumbledore. He had so much faith in Dumbledore that he couldn't imagine the tale being false. 'So people don't know that Lily's alive and they don't know Rose is a relation because that would place her in danger?'

'That's right,' Lily said. 'Only a small, select group of the operatives do.'

'And I take it Snivellus is one of them? James asked spitting out Snape's name as if it were something distasteful.

'He's part of The Covenant James,' Lily said. 'The covenant that is entangled with the Prophecy. Do you remember it?'

'Yes,' James said with certainty. 'I remember that bloody prophecy and the covenant that it talks about.'

'Anyhow if we get back to business at hand,' Dumbledore said. 'Severus you called this meeting, what is it that's on your mind?'

'I have been called upon to make a list of all the Muggle-born students at Hogwarts,' Snape said. 'If I do this and they're taken it will be entirely my fault. Yet if I don't I will almost certainly be killed.'

'Have you been given a deadline?' McGonagall asked.

'Yes,' Snape said. 'It's like with Mr Malfoy, I have six months.'

'What's he planning for six months?' Sirius asked.

'I don't know,' Snape said woefully. 'I would suggest that's what the operatives need to work out.'

'Why don't we ask Professor Brown?' McGonagall suggested. 'I normally don't think much of Divination, but the girl has an indisputable gift.'

'Well if nobody has any other suggestions, shall I see to arrangements for James?' Dumbledore asked.

'I should hear back from Alec anytime in the next couple of days,' Sirius said. 'I'll call a meeting then.'

'James,' Dumbledore said. 'It would be best if you stayed out of sight here at Hogwarts. I shall prepare a room for you in the Staff Quarters. Where will you be until then?'

'James and I have some business to attend to,' Chrys said. 'He shall be in our quarters. Sirius will fill you in. James might I suggest we get started. You should cover yourself with a cloak; if people recognise you they will most certainly panic.'

James agreed quickly, but he certainly wasn't used to this assertive Chrystal. And he wasn't sure that he liked it either.

He followed her up to the Staff Quarters, realising that he had never been there before. She showed him into a suite of rooms that had the label "Black" on the door. James spied the stone dish with the rune carvings around the edge. He knew that they had expected him to agree. That gave his a light feeling of discomfort but he was sure that it would pass.

'Before we do this I have a few questions to ask you,' James said. 'I hope you're okay with that.'

'Anything James,' she said softly. There was a friendly tone to her voice. 'You don't need to be so nervous around me, I won't hurt.'

James didn't think he was really showing his nerves but he certainly felt them.

'First is just a point of curiosity,' he said. 'How on earth did you get Sirius to marry you? I never expected the man to ever settle down. Did your father threaten him?'

Chrystal laughed in surprise.

'Actually James, it was Sirius that wanted to settle down,' she said. 'I told you that we'd changed. When Sirius was freed I wanted to be with him but I wanted to take things slowly. I wanted to pick up where we left off. Sirius didn't want that at all. We came to a compromise but I think I gave in more than he did over time. I always did when it came to him. But whether or not you want to believe it, Sirius was the one who wanted to get married; he's the one who wants children. I think Azkaban helped him put things in perspective.'

'You gave in?' James asked. 'So when's the baby due?'

'Is it that obvious?' she said in surprise. 'June.'

'It's not obvious Chryssy,' he said. 'You're not exactly showing, but you mentioned children and giving into Sirius. I take it you got over Lucius then?'

James was a little surprised by the response he received and instantly realised that he'd said the wrong thing.

'Sirius is in trouble tonight then?' he asked raising his eyebrows.

'Probably,' she said with a grin. 'I forget how much he used to tell you, it's just taken me by surprise that's all.'

Sensing that she was slightly uncomfortable, he glanced over at the silvery light coming from the Pensieve.

'Shall we? Wait I need my wand, or at least a wand.'

'Oh, I almost forgot,' Chrys said reaching over and opening a draw. She pulled out a wand and handed it to him. 'We've been keeping these safe for you.'

James examined his wand. The mahogany had not changed in seventeen years. It was exactly as he remembered it.

He and Chrys pointed their wands at the Pensieve. They prodded the silvery stuff with their wands and then were pulled into the Pensieve. James looked around and found himself in Dunvegan Castle.

'Aren't you working tonight Chryssy?'

James saw Alasdair MacLeod enter the room.

'I've got to go out on a call. I was just coming to find my bag.'

She apparated and James found himself in a familiar place.

Godric's Hollow. He shivered. He knew that this was the night that they had "died." He didn't really care to relive his death, but he knew he had agreed to see what had happened afterward. He looked around.

The house had been destroyed. He could see Sirius bending over something. He shuddered as he realised that it must be his body.

'What's going on Sirius?' Chrystal asked.

'They're dead,' Sirius replied screaming like a wounded animal. 'Lily and James, he killed them.'

James watched as Chrystal shook his lifeless body.

'James, no, you can't be.' She began to sob. 'Have you found Lily, Sirius?'

Sirius pointed toward the rubble of the house. James watched as Chrystal ran over towards Lily's body.

'Lily, no.' James watched as Chrystal held Lily's body close to hers and sobbed. He heard her cry "why" over and over again. Chrystal seemed to catch sight of Sirius again. 'Sirius, was it you?' Before he had a chance to answer she spoke again. 'How could you do that to James and Lily? He was your best friend.'

'It wasn't me, mo Crystal,' Sirius finally spoke softly and as if he had given in.

'What do you mean it wasn't you? Who else would it be? It's not like they would trust Remus at the moment and Peter can't even stand up for himself let alone anyone else.'

'It was Peter,' Sirius said with conviction. 'I have to find him immediately.' James couldn't help but shiver at the cold tone in Sirius' voice as he explained to Chrys over and over again how he had convinced James and Lily to change Secret Keepers.

'Peter? Why do you want to find him? Leave him alone; I'm sure he doesn't want to see you after what you did today. I can't believe you. You were their Secret Keeper. You talked to me about it.'

'Well there was a change of plans wasn't there?' he replied. 'I was too obvious. So I convinced them to change to Peter so that they would be safe. I mean who would believe that the Potter's would choose snivelling Peter Pettigrew as their Secret Keeper. It's laughable. I promise you Chrystal Àille-MacLeod I did not betray them to Voldemort. Mise docha teasd, mo cridhe[1].'

'Mise creid thu a Shirius[2],' she replied. She appeared to be more accepting of what he had said.

'I must find Peter and take revenge for Lily and James, mo cridhe,' he said determined.

My love, he had called her. James recognised that even though he didn't recall the rest.

'Don't do it Sirius, it's not worth it. If you do that they'll take you to Azkaban for sure.'

'Eadh os. Crìochnaich chaidh dlùthaich[3],' Sirius sounded forlorn. 'I don't care anymore mo cridhe, mo Crystal.

James didn't quite understand what they were saying. He had always hated it when they spoke in Gaelic. It always gave him the impression that they were saying something that they didn't want anyone else to understand. The fact was they slipped in and out of either language unconsciously. If Sirius was going to tell her something important, he would usually tell her in Gaelic. And she would normally reply. Now while he didn't fully understand what Sirius was saying, he could tell that he had given in, that he didn't seem to have any will left to live. It was devastating to watch. He sounded as though he was in the "depths of despair."

A ministry official arrived.

'I've got to go, I love you Sirius, mo gràdh. Promise me you won't do anything stupid. Toilich a Shirius,' she pleaded.

'Toilich, a Chrystal,' he said.

He had promised that he wouldn't do anything stupid, but James didn't quite believe it. He knew this Sirius. This Sirius was deeply wounded and wanted revenge. James just wasn't quite sure what lengths he'd go to get it, however from the little he'd been told he could deduce it.

James felt himself being sucked to another location. He was at the Ministry of Magic; in the office he had been in so many times to visit Lily. A witch James didn't recognise ran into the room.

'Did you hear Chrystal?' the witch was calling. 'Sirius Black has been captured by Hit Wizards. He blew up a street full of Muggles and Peter Pettigrew with a single curse. Now all that's left of Pettigrew is a finger. Apparently Black was the Potter's Secret Keeper and now Pettigrew's going to get the Order of Merlin, first Class..'

The witch ran out of the room.

'No he wasn't,' James heard Chrystal say under her breath as she burst into tears.

James shook. He couldn't believe that the wizarding world had just accepted rumour for fact and with it locked away an innocent man for twelve years. Was that the world they still lived in? And Pettigrew getting the Order of Merlin. The thought made him want to vomit.

Again their location changed. Now James knew they were in Azkaban. Even in the Pensieve it had an eerie feeling. James could feel the Dementors sucking things out of him. James saw Sirius sitting in the cell. He looked like hell.

'I've already told you I believe you Sirius, isn't that enough? I've decided. I'm going to give up being an Auror just like you wanted.'

James was shocked by the comment. For Chrystal to give up being an Auror was an enormous sacrifice on her part. Sirius hadn't replied. She spoke again.

'Don't worry about money, I'll keep playing Quidditch and Dad said he'll help me. I'm going to search for a way to free you, and then we can go and find Harry and we can have our own children and live together in a big house in the forest away from prying eyes. I love you mo a Shirius.' James watched as Chrystal moved towards Sirius and held him in her arms.

Again James felt himself being pulled away. He had wanted to stay and try and comfort his friend. He found himself again at Dunvegan Castle.

Chrystal pulled him out of the Pensieve.

'I don't want you to see the next one,' she said. 'The long and short of it is that I killed my mother.

James couldn't help but hide the shock.

'She was a Death Eater,' Chrystal continued. 'She was Voldemort's mistress.' She spat out the words. 'She would have killed me; I was just doing my job. Mr Crouch had authorised us to use whatever means necessary to bring a Death Eater to justice. That was why I couldn't do what I promised to Sirius. If I found a way to free him without proving his innocence, then potentially other Death Eaters would have to be freed as well. After that night I couldn't do that. They hauled me through a vicious enquiry at work and then I was lumped with courtroom duties for the next six months. After that I was given mainly air surveillance. It was supposed to be punishment but I made it into something. I buried myself in work and became engrossed in that. I shut out and anyone else who tried to get close. I was hurting. I suppose Sirius was as well but I didn't stop to consider that. Then Sirius escaped from Azkaban he didn't make an effort to let me know that he was fine. But what angered me more was that he didn't even let his family know. Heather, Maddie and Alec were the only people besides my Da and Remus that I let anywhere near me. I was so angry that he didn't let them know he was fine.'

'Alec?' James asked.

'Oh of course you won't know,' Chrystal said. 'Madeleine married Alec McLachlan. He's one of the operatives. I don't know if you remember him. He was a Ravenclaw, the year behind me.'

James nodded his head in response.

'I remember what happened to his poor sister,' James said. 'She was a Ravenclaw in my year. I think I've had enough information for the moment,' James said as he took his glasses off and rubbed at his eyes. He was feeling over overwhelmed. 'Do you think I could have a cup of tea or something warm? I can still feel the cold of Azkaban. Then later we can continue.'

'Sure,' she replied. She went away and made the tea and brought it to him on a tray. 'What else did you want to ask me?'

'Ah,' James said. 'Well I wanted to know if Lily had found someone else. I love her but I don't want her to feel as if she's indebted to me.'

'We only found Lily about five months ago,' Chrys replied. 'I know you're confused. There are gaps to be filled in and I think Lily and Sirius will have to do some of that. In can only show you me, and glimpses of everyone else. But in terms of Lily having found someone else, honestly I don't think that's possible.'

'I just worry Chryssy,' he said. 'About Sirius, well I guess I don't have to worry about him anymore, and Snape.'

'Don't be,' Chrys said softly. 'She's been searching for you as hard as anyone else.'

There was a knock on the door. Sirius and Dumbledore entered.

'How'd it go?' Sirius asked.

'I guess there's still a lot for me to catch up on,' James said. 'Just tell me the truth and don't play a prank on me when you're telling what happened.' He walked over and play punched Sirius in the arm. Yes he could see that Sirius had changed but it would be fine. They would get to know one another again. 'We're about to go back in. Would you like to join us?'

Sirius shook his head. James knew he shouldn't be so disappointed. The memories in the Pensieve would probably be too painful for him to want to relive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[1] I would rather die my love

[2] I believe you Sirius

[3] It's over. The end has come