Wood & Wild

Chapter Six: Joe's Comeuppance

When Fiona woke up on Sunday morning, she grinned. She loved being able to sleep in, and thoroughly enjoy the warmth of her bed. Her grin widened when she thought of the prank that she and Oliver had planned for Joe. Fiona cuddled under her covers for another half hour, before finally deciding it was time to get up.

She dressed slowly, and made her way down to the Common Room, to discover Oliver and Joe already there. They were not surprised to see her, but were shocked to notice Audrey following Fiona down, since the blonde was known for her late rises.

"You're up a little early, aren't you, Audrey?" Joe asked, a twinkle in his eyes. "And dressed as well. Something big must be happening today.

"Hey, guys," Audrey yawned, ignoring Joe. "Got anything exciting planned for today?"

Fiona and Oliver exchanged looks, but Oliver shook his head. "Nope, going to take it easy. Relax, for once."

"Glad to hear it," Audrey replied, although she did look suspiciously at Oliver and Fiona. "Don't feel like doing anything today either."

"Well, I'm off to see Margaret," Joe said, smiling. He got up from the sofa, and sauntered over to the portrait.

"Yeah, yeah, rub it in, why don't you?" Fiona grinned, and rolled her eyes. Joe ignored her, and left, waving his hand at them before disappearing.

"Oh, actually, I was going to go and see Hagrid today," Audrey remembered. "Right after lunch, I said."

"You'd better dash, then, if you want to eat before you go," Oliver pointed out.

Fiona added, "Which might be a good idea, taking into account Hagrid's reputation as a cook." Audrey laughed, and nodded, and then dashed out of the Common Room, leaving the two friends on their own.

"So," Oliver turned to Fiona, "when are we going to do it?"

Fiona frowned. "I don't know. Today's pretty much out, since there won't be much of an audience."

"And we do want total humiliation," Oliver agreed.

"Although humiliating Joe is quite difficult," Fiona said, smiling.

"Still, we have to try. How 'bout tomorrow?" Oliver suggested.

Fiona looked thoughtful, and then nodded. "That could work. It'll probably have worn off in time for Potions. I don't want him to get into that much trouble."

"And, knowing Snape, he'll give us another detention, anyway," Oliver added.

"Good point. Okay, so tomorrow it is. You'll have to cast the Charm, Oliver. If I get caught in the boys' dorm room, I'll be in a lot of trouble," Fiona pointed out.

"But you have to Transfigure the buttons, you're much better at it than I am," Oliver said.

"Okay, so I'll Transfigure them first thing tomorrow morning, and then I'll meet you outside your dorm room, give them to you, and you cast the Charm," Fiona decided. Then she frowned. "Can you put a timer on the Charm? We don't really want it working until Defence Against the Dark Arts starts."

Oliver nodded. "I checked. It's not that hard, even you could do it."

"Hey!" Fiona shoved Oliver off the sofa. "For your information, I've found a timer spell for the Transfiguration part as well."

"Okay, I concede to your superior intellect," Oliver said, laughing from the floor. "Of course," he added under his breath, "I can still Charm you into a laughing fit." He pulled her off the settee, and onto the floor beside him.

Fiona laughed. "You do, and you'll find yourself as a newt, with little spots all over." She poked him in several places on his torso, saying, "A little spot here, and here, and here, and here," until Oliver couldn't talk for laughing.

When he finally caught his breath, he grabbed Fiona, and wrestled her to the ground, saying, "I'll get you back for that, Miss Wild."

"Oh dear, Miss Wild, is it now?" Fiona giggled, wriggling underneath him. "Now I'm in trouble."

Oliver grinned, and proceeded to return the tickling that Fiona had given him. The fact that he was lying on top of a beautiful, squirming young woman who happened to be his best friend was just beginning to sink into his brain when he heard voices coming from the staircase.

Oliver leapt off Fiona as though she had turned into a dragon, and held out a shaky hand to pull her to her feet. Fiona's face was red, nearly as red as Oliver's, but he didn't know whether it was because she had realised the same thing that he had, or whether it was from laughing.

Actually, it was a bit of both, but again, Fiona was not going to let her embarrassment get in the way of a good teasing. "So, embarrassed to be seen with me, huh? I don't know, a gorgeous girl like me, got all the boys clamouring for my attention, yet you don't want to be seen playing a perfectly innocent game with your best friend." She grinned at his face, which was getting redder.

"Don't be stupid. Just don't want to get in the way of all those boys that are stampeding towards you. Wouldn't want the Gryffindor Captain to get crushed now, would you?" Oliver retorted through gritted teeth.

"Oh, of course not, you're right," Fiona agreed, smiling. "How could I forget about that? Come on, let's go to lunch, ahead of the hordes of men that are following me."

"Agreed," Oliver said, forcing himself to grin. She's only joking, just remember that, he told himself.