Bloody Hell!

Chapter Seven

The days until the start of term flew by quickly and Harry found himself waiting for the Hogwarts Express on the train station. His trunk and books were already in his dorm in Gryffindor Tower and now the only thing that was missing there was Harry. He stood there with Hagrid and strained his eyes to see the red engine of Hogwarts Express. First, he heard a whistle and then he saw it in all its might. Fifteen minutes passed as the train finally stopped and the doors to the wagons opened and students came out. Harry stood on the points of his feet and looked around to see Hermione, Ginny, Neville, Ron, and Luna. When he did, he ploughed through the students to them. He hugged Hermione and Ginny and shook hands with Neville, Ron, and Luna. He was all smiles and the teens wondered what happened that Harry was so happy. Ginny voiced their thoughts.

'Gryffin?'

'Yeah, Volpie?'

'What happened?'

Harry looked at her quizzically and said, 'What are you talking about?'

Ginny shrugged and answered, 'Well, you look a lot happier than the last time we saw you.'

Harry laughed and said, 'Oh, that! It's just...'

He smiled again and continued, 'My dad loves me!'

Their eyes widened at the address of their fearful Potions professor.

'Really?' asked Ron surprised.

Harry nodded and answered, 'Yeah! Ron, you know that you know that dad loves me. You just didn't know that I knew that I knew my dad loves me. And you didn't know that I know that you know that you know and that I know that he told me that he loves me.'

The others stared at him for a moment and then started to laugh. Harry joined them, as he too realised what nonsense he just said.

'Geese, Harry, I didn't know that you know that I know that I know Snape loves you.'

More laughter erupted from the children. Harry still laughing motioned them to follow him to the carriages, that for Harry and Luna weren't horseless as Thestrals pulled them. They were still laughing as they entered the Great Hall and sat down at their respectable tables. Harry's eyes shined with mirth as he asked.

'Are you ready for mission 'Start of Term'?'

Ron grinned and the rest of the Gryffindor Marauders nodded. Harry looked up at the Head table and saw his father looking in his direction. He winked at him and smiled. Snape discreetly looked around him to see if someone was watching, and grinned back at him. Harry was just about to ask Ron something when the door to the Great Hall opened and professor McGonagall entered with a bunch of first years behind her. She walked to the front of the Head table and ordered the eleven-year-old children to wait for the Hat (which Filch already put on the chair that was on the floor) to sing a song and for her to call out their names so that they can be sorted. The hall went quiet as the ancient hat opened his mouth and started to sing in a rap way,

'Here I am,
This is me,
The Hogwarts Sorting Hat,
With whose help you'll sorted be.
Don't be scared,
I don't bite,
It's just me and you,
And in a moment you can leave my side.
Come up here,
Put me on,
Then the sorting can be done,
I tell the House and you're gone.
So let's see where you'll be,
In Gryffindor,
Where the brave are home,
And you don't have to dwell no more.
Maybe you're in Ravenclaw,
Where bright children have their home,
They like reading,
And not just about how to get rid of a gnome.
There's old Hufflepuff,
Where loyal people feel okay,
They're always there,
If you need them at night or day.
And at last,
There's Slytherin,
A home for cunning folk,
Just remember, they aren't all mean.
And now to tell a tale,
Of Hogwarts Founder's Heir.
He's here at school,
Just about to break a rule,
So have some fun,
Laugh or run,
'Cause something will be done.'

Harry gaped at the Hat as his fellow Marauders did the same. Meanwhile the Gryffindor Head of House started reading the names of Harry's future schoolmates. Harry turned his head at Hermione and asked her, 'How did the Hat know all of this?'

'I don't know, maybe he overheard someone saying that you're the Hogwarts Founder's Heir in Dumbledore's office.'

Harry shrugged his shoulders and clapped as Frazer Caroline sat down at the Gryffindor table. His stomach was already grumbling and it could beat Ron's any second. Finally, the Sorting was over and Gryffindor had twelve new students. The Headmaster rose to his feet and said, 'Welcome! Welcome to another year at Hogwarts. I would like to remind you of some rules. Firstly, the Forbidden Forest is forbidden to all students, as to why it is forbidden, I think you can ask some of our older students who were already there.'

His eyes flashed at Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville, and Draco. Then he continued, 'I would also like to remind you that using magic in the corridors is also forbidden and a student found using magic will be severely punished. Secondly, I would like to introduce you to our new Defence Against Dark Arts professor. Many of you already knew him as he taught here a few years ago. Might I say he was the best you had in over five years? Yes, the one and only... Remus Lupin!'

There was laughter in the hall and you could hear clapping. Some students even whistled loud! Remus smiled in delight and waved at them. Dumbledore coughed and waited for the students to quiet down.

'Yes, I see how happy you are, that he's back. We all are. Even Professor Snape has to confess, he was the best you ever had.'

More laughter was heard, as Snape scowled at the Headmaster.

'We also have one new subject that is going to be taught by both, Professor Lupin and Professor Snape. The subject is Duelling. I remember the Duelling club you had a few years ago. Well, this time you have two very good teachers to teach the subject.'

Dumbledore chucked as he heard Ron's stomach grumble loud in the silence.

'Well, I think I'm going to finish my speech, as some of you are very hungry. Chop chop!'

Ron's face was still beat red as Harry flicked his wrist to start the prank. Ron ate his food as though he didn't have something to eat in months and Harry wasn't far behind him. Hermione, Neville, and Ginny were eating at more civilized way. It was half an hour later as the Great Hall went quiet. The students and teachers alike were staring at the Slytherin table. The Slytherins were all standing on their feet, and then they changed into tableware, with Draco as Lumiere and Pansy as Mrs Potts from Beauty and the Beast. Then they started to sing,

(Lumiere - Draco)
'Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride,
and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.
And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a
chair as the dining room proudly presents - your dinner!'
(Draco bowed at the audience, with a little pink on his cheeks.)
'Be our guest,
Be our guest,
Put our service to the test,
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, Cherie,
And we provide the rest.
Soup du jour,
Hot hors d'oeuvres,
why, we only live to serve,
Try the grey stuff, it's delicious,
Don't believe me? Ask the dishes!'
(The 'dishes' started to dance around the table.)
'They can sing,
They can dance,
After all, Miss, this is France!
And a dinner here is never second best.
Go on, unfold your menu,
Take a glance and then you'll
be our guest!
Oui, our guest!
Be our guest!'
(Draco was again jumping up and down, his hands as candles flying around)
'Beef ragout
Cheese soufflé
Pie and pudding "en flambé"
We'll prepare and serve with flair,
A culinary cabaret,
You're alone,
And you're scared,
But the banquet's all prepared,
No one's gloomy or complaining,
While the flatware's entertaining,
We tell jokes,
I do tricks,
With my fellow candlesticks!'
(The 'mugs' started to swirl in a circle in the air)
(Mugs - students)
'And it's all in perfect taste
that you can bet!'
(All)
'Come on and lift your glass
you've won your own free pass
to be our guest!'
(Lumiere - Draco)
'If you're stressed,
It's fine dining we suggest!'
(All)
'Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!'
(Lumiere - Draco)
(Draco was looking like he was going to cry by then)
'Life is so unnerving
For a servant who's not serving
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon
Ah, those good old days when we were useful
Suddenly those good old days are gone
Ten years we've been rusting
Needing so much more than dusting
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills
Most days we just lay around the castle
Flabby, fat and lazy
You walked in and oops-a-daisy!'
(Now Pansy came on the table, changed into a teapot with big eyes)
(Mrs Potts - Pansy)
'It's a guest
It's a guest
Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord
I've had the napkins freshly pressed
With dessert
She'll want tea
And my dear that's fine with me
While the cups do their soft shoeing
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing
I'll get warm
Piping hot!'
(steam coming out of her nose while whistling)
'Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?
Clean it up! We want the company impressed!
We've got a lot to do
Is it one lump or two,
for you, our guest?'
(Chorus)
'She's our guest!'
(Mrs Potts - Pansy)
'She's our guest!'
(Chorus)
'She's our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Our command is your request!
It's ten years since we had anybody here
And we're obsessed!
With your meal!
With your ease!
Yes, indeed, we aim to please!
While the candlelight's still glowing,
Let us help you
We'll keep going!
Course by course,
One by one!
'Till you shout, 'Enough! I'm done!'
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest!'
(All the Slytherins let out a fart)
Tonight you'll prop your feet up,
But for now, let's eat up,
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Please, be our guest!'

The hall was quiet for a few seconds and then erupted in laughter. Harry was already laughing at Draco as he started singing. Though, he had to admit that he did have a nice voice. As he looked at the Head table, almost all of the teachers were laughing their heads off. Snape was determinedly looking down at his plate, but Harry could still see his lips, which were curled up in an amused smile. Then Severus raised his head and his and Harry's eyes met. Harry saw his father slightly smile and then his smile turned to a scowl as he saw Draco looking in his direction then stood up and stormed out of the Great Hall. However, Snape's scowl didn't reach his eyes, which were still dancing with mirth. The Headmaster was still chuckling as he rose to his feet.

'I see you all ate your dinner. Now, off to bed and sleep well. And if the flea bites you, call me!'

The Muggleborns laughed at this and headed off to bed themselves. Harry, Ron, Neville, and Hermione waited for Ginny to collect the first years, as she was made a Prefect in the summer holidays. They all walked to the Gryffindor Tower and Ginny said the password (Frog Spawn). She led the first years in the Common Room and told them some of the rules (Harry helping her with 'The shortcut for the Transfiguration classroom is through the doors behind the silver armour near the painting of Lenny Limping,' or 'The password for Potions storeroom is boomslang') and then sent them off to bed. She than said, 'That was a brilliant prank, Gryffin! I'm so proud to be a Marauder!'

Harry laughed and said, 'Yeah, well, wait until tomorrow, when the Ravenclaws are going to play the bagpipes!'

'WHAT?!?' shrieked Hermione. Harry grinned and repeated, 'Wait until tomorrow to hear the Ravenclaws play the bagpipes.'

Hermione was just about to say something when Ron interrupted her.

'Come on Lynx, be a Marauder!'

Hermione was about to throw up lava, the way she was starting to get red in the face and her breathing fastened. Harry quickly prevented that with a well-said sentence. 'Mione, he's right, you are a Marauder, and you know if I thought it would be dangerous I wouldn't do it.'

Hermione calmed herself down and said, 'Okay, but let me choose the song.'

'You got yourself a deal,' chuckled Harry as he went to the boys' dormitory.