The Ultimate Power: From the Ashes

I can't remember a better day
One without giving up
The shine has worn off the things you say
It's just not good enough
I need to take this back and slow it down, shine your crown
I can't pretend that I feel the same
My skin's not thick enough

There is nothing that you can say
To bring me running back
My mind is reeling but it's okay
The storm is pushing back
Another open mouth to cut me down, let me drown
I can't remember a better day
But I'm not coming back

There's no comfort in song
I find it hard to believe

Don't go gently into the night
But keep on fighting as the light dies
A wise man knows that the dark's right
But will keep on coming, keep on coming on
Some will tell you that it's all right
The sun is burning in a dead sky
But you can't keep living in a broke mind
So keep on running, keep on coming on

-Seether (Yeah)

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Yeah

Middle of November, 2000

Hermione Flooed into her parents' holiday cottage late one evening and immediately noted the odd absence of Holli seated within her usual armchair. Even after Remus had come to stay with her, the woman had still held her usual routine. Every night, regardless of the time of year, she would come and sit in the living room and stare at the flames for hours after the sun had set beneath the horizon. Hermione became instantly alert when she found the woman missing.

She slowly withdrew her wand and silently made her way to the kitchen door. She gently shouldered it open a crack and peeked through. Hermione froze in her vigilant search when she heard a feminine chuckle.

Holli and Remus stood at the counter, a large mixing bowl between them. As Hermione watched, their fingers idly dipped into the bowl, returning covered in light brown chocolate batter as they ate what was left of the treat Hermione could smell throughout the cottage as it baked. They chatted amicably with one another about inconsequential things and Hermione saw Holli's lips twitch.

Her finger once again plunged into the bowl and returned covered in sticky batter, but instead of pulling it up to her mouth, she extended the finger and swiped it across Remus' nose. The man made a noise of protest and his eyes crossed as he tried to search out the offending smear. He reciprocated by stretching out his chocolate covered hand and dragging it across the side of Holli's neck as she yelped and jumped away.

Hermione stared in wonder as Holli grinned up at Remus. It wasn't fake and it wasn't forced. It was the first true expression of happiness that Hermione had seen from the woman in over two years. Her eyes narrowed as they strained and she studied Holli.

The woman had more colour in her cheeks as though she was finally healthy for the first time in years. Her skin wasn't nearly as stretched and taut as it had been a mere month ago and the pockets beneath her eyes weren't as bruised and dark as the previous times she had seen Holli. Her eyes themselves were still dull, but there was surge of life in them that Hermione had begun to think she would never see again.

Hermione stepped into the room and cleared her throat as Remus and Holli began an all-out chocolate batter war. The two froze mid-act and looked in Hermione's direction in surprise. Remus grunted and groaned as the bowl Holli had suspended over his head released the last bit of batter. His body shuddered in disgust as it ran down his neck and below the collar of his shirt. Holli snorted and apologised, but her carefree smile disappeared from her face as she gazed across the room at Hermione.

Remus grinned at her through his goopy mask. "Hello, Hermione," he greeted. "All right?"

"I'm fine," Hermione answered, moving her eyes away from Holli's back. She smiled at Remus. "Sorry to interrupt the fun."

Remus chuckled. "Probably for the best," he said, wiping chocolate out of his eyes.

"'S what she's best at," Holli mumbled to the window.

Hermione swallowed as Remus frowned. "What was that?" he asked flatly as he moved to stand beside Holli and threw a handful of chocolate into the sink. Hermione couldn't see, but she had the distinct impression that Remus was glaring at Holli.

The other woman stared up at him for a moment, her eyes challenging. Finally, she looked back out the window and whispered, "Nothing."

Remus stayed where he was for a few more seconds before he turned back to Hermione, smile sliding back into place easily. "Sorry about the mess," he said, gesturing to the batter-smeared counter. "We have a bit more energy than we know what to do with tonight. I still don't think we're quite used to these early nights."

Holli walked over to Remus' side with two wet cloths in hand. She handed one to Remus and motioned to his face before beginning to wipe down the counter. She still refused to look at Hermione.

"Why aren't you Lea?" Hermione asked her worriedly.

Remus paused in wiping his face and looked at Holli. Her hand had stilled as her body had tensed and her fingers were clenching the cloth so tightly, Hermione was surprised her nails hadn't gouged holes into the fabric.

"I'm not Lea," she hissed, a muscle in her jaw twitching, "because it is dark outside and no one can see inside this house, even if they were standing directly outside of the window and were able to see past the Fidelius."

Remus provided Hermione with a warning look. "Leave it, Hermione," he told her, but she ignored him.

"What if someone were to gain access into the house?" she asked desperately. "What would happen then?"

Holli finally looked up at her and Hermione was surprised to see utter loathing flickering through her eyes. "Give it a rest, Hermione. It's been two years and no one has come looking for me."

Hermione swallowed and pushed on. "The more comfortable you become, the easier it will be for someone to take you by surprise," she insisted.

Holli banged her hand down against the countertop. "Comfortable?" she snarled. "You think I could ever consider any of this comfortable?"

"Holli -" Remus interjected, reaching his hand out to her shoulder. Holli's arm came up and quickly knocked it aside.

"Don't, Remus," she hissed, glaring at him before rounding her incensed gaze on the other woman. "What do you want, Hermione? Why on Earth are you even here of all the places you could be? You have a life out there, so why the bloody fucking hell are you here?"

"I - I came to check on you and see how you were..." she answered softly, trailing off when Holli's eyes blazed.

Holli rounded the corner of the counter and Hermione backed against the wall as she approached. "'See how I am'," she repeated cynically and she smirked. "Well, I suppose I should feel honoured, shouldn't I? The great, wonderful, important Hermione Granger is able to spare enough time once a month to come and check up on me. Honestly, I should be delighted. So why am I not? Oh, wait, I know why."

Her voice had lowered to a growl and her steps were slow as she advanced, like a predator stalking its prey, waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce. Hermione's breathing increased in slight fear. "I'm not because I know that you truly couldn't care less about my well-being. I've been the same for years, Hermione, so what's the point?"

Hermione opened her mouth to speak and protest what Holli was saying, but the other woman slashed her hand through the air and Hermione suddenly found that she couldn't speak. "That's just it, though, isn't it? There really isn't any point to your visits anymore. Remus is here, so why should you be? I'm nothing more than a carnival attraction to you. Something you can come and gawk at for a while and escape from your hectic life for an hour or so. I've never been anything more to you since the day you met me. Just an oddity in a world full of similarities."

Hermione swallowed and felt the charm on her break. She glanced at Remus and threw him a grateful glance as he stowed his wand away. His intense eyes didn't leave Holli.

"That isn't true," she reasoned. "You know that isn't true. You're my friend."

Holli smiled bloodlessly. "Am I?" she asked sweetly.

"Of course you are," Hermione insisted, a bite of impatience entering her tone.

"Then what's my name, Hermione?" she continued and her eyes were suddenly pleading.

"W-what?" Hermione stuttered out in confusion, glancing at Remus for help. His face remained stoic as he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Tell me my name," Holli whispered, leaning in to Hermione attentively.

Hermione's mouth worked silently for a few seconds as her eyes flicked to the surrounding windows and she swallowed. "I can't," she finally murmured in defeat. "I won't and you know why."

All sign of emotion fell away from Holli's face as she pulled back and crossed her arms over her chest. "Then how can you possibly be my friend," she said harshly, "if you refuse to even say my name?"

Hermione looked at Remus desperately and saw that his eyes were still trained on her. She was horrified to see that they were sad and heartbroken.

"Admit it, Hermione," Holli snapped. "I'm nothing more than your secret pet. I provide you with power and you love it because you've never had it before. Harry and Ron, they listen to you and they use you, but when it comes right down to it, you have no control over them. They do what they want when they want and no matter how hard you try, you've always known that you'll never be able to stop them. Yet you need that control in your life, so you get it from me, the only one who fell into your helping arms gratefully; the one who's now stuck and trapped. Just like a pet."

Hermione shook her head, fighting back the tears. "That isn't true," she cried, her voice pleading. "I just wanted to save you; protect you."

Holli leaned in again until their noses were almost touching and sneered at Hermione. "You should have let me bloody well die." She pulled back and gazed at Hermione in disgust. "I'd still have respect for you, still like you if you had."

"Holli," Remus murmured, a warning tone in his voice.

Holli turned her head slowly and looked at him with eyes that were as cold as ice. "I'm not sorry, Remus," she said flatly. "I can't do it. With you, I can manage, but with her -" She cut off and her eyes slide to Hermione, full of revulsion. "I just can't do it."

Holli turned and walked from the room. Hermione stood, her lips trembling as she tried to contain the emotion that threatened to spill over. Remus watched her with critical eyes as they listened to Holli's footsteps trudging up the stairs and into her bedroom. When Hermione heard the sound of her door closing, she broke away from the wall and darted out the back door into the garden, heaving great breaths of air as she collapsed onto the stone bench in the far corner and tried to hold herself together.

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Remus stood in the kitchen as the two women who has somehow managed to dominate his entire life ran off in different directions. His first instinct was to chase after Holli. Even if they were no longer together the way they had once been, the protectiveness remained, just as it did with any woman he had ever had the pleasure - or displeasure, at times - of being with.

After a moment of thought, however, Remus turned and made his way into the back garden, following Hermione. His assumption was that she would be in more need of comforting at the time than Holli would. He discovered he was right as he listened and peered through the darkness. The faint sound of sobs reached his ears and he shook his head in displeasure at the power Holli had to upset people so easily.

He found her seated in the corner of the garden, small tears flowing down her cheeks. When she saw him approaching, her hand reached up and swiped them away quickly as she sniffed dully. Remus sat down and studied her as she gazed down at the grass.

"You must think I'm so silly," she said, releasing a watery chuckle. "Look at me, crying simply because I've had a small spat with a friend."

Remus smiled faintly at her. "A person would be a fool to ever think such a thing about you, Hermione," he murmured, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "You are a far cry from 'silly'. Holli was wrong to say those things to you, even if she was thinking them."

Hermione sniffed again. "What did I do that was so wrong, Remus?" she asked miserably. "All I did was protect my friend. Why does that make her see me as such a horrible person?" She glanced up at him. "Do you think she's right about everything she said?"

Remus sighed as he gave the woman a small squeeze. "No," he answered softly. "I don't agree with her, Hermione, but I can't blame her, either." Her face dropped. "She's miserable, Hermione. Surely you can see that? Why can't you simply let her out; let her come home?"

"It's too dangerous, Remus," she murmured. "We've lost so many people in this war, I won't let her fade into the background and become just another name on the list of the dead. I can't let that happen. I don't care if she despises me for what I've done - what I'm doing. She'll be alive in the end and that's what matters."

Remus stayed silent as Hermione calmed herself. After a long while, she turned to him and asked, "What did you do?"

He gazed at her in bemusement. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"She was smiling, Remus," Hermione answered. "She was laughing. She hasn't done that in years. You must have done something."

Remus shook his head. "I didn't do anything, Hermione," he replied. "Holli's healing. Slowly, yes, and little by little, but she's getting better. I think, though, that she's stuck where she is for now. There's only so much companionship can do for a person. She needs someplace different, someplace new or else she'll never fully heal." He paused as he mused. "I wish there was some way I could figure out to get her to my house and keep her hidden..."

Hermione glanced at him sharply. "You would do that?"

"Of course I would," he replied easily, gazing at her as well. "You thought I wouldn't if I were to have the option?"

Hermione swallowed. "No, I just...never considered it, really." She studied him for a silent moment. "Would you be able to keep her safe?"

Remus' eyes narrowed in confusion. "Hermione, you know I would do anything to protect Holli, but it doesn't matter. I don't see any way in which that could ever possibly work."

Hermione inhaled a deep breath. "There is a way," she whispered, standing and smoothing the wrinkles in her skirt. Remus opened his mouth to speak, but Hermione continued. "Pack up her things and move her to yours. Hopefully a change of scenery will do her some good."

Remus' mouth worked silently for a brief second. "That's all well and good, Hermione, but how am I supposed to keep her hidden? Order members are at mine all the time."

Hermione's eyes scanned the dark garden. "Tell her to use her other disguise. When someone's there or when she's wondering the fields with you, she has to wear it. Always."

"Holli has another disguise?" Remus asked, confusion hitting twice as hard. "Why didn't I know about it?"

"She doesn't think that I know, Remus," Hermione replied quietly. "It's something she's taught herself while she's been here and I only found out by chance. I suppose she thought I wouldn't approve."

"What's her disguise, though?" he questioned.

"She'll show you when you ask her," Hermione replied. "I won't be back." She didn't turn around as she walked away. As she was about to enter the kitchen, she paused and said softly, "Don't let her go into the village." Then she was gone and Remus barely heard the distant sound of the Floo roaring to life before it faded away as well.

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"Holli," Remus called up the stairs, "could you come down here, please?"

A moment later there was the sound of a door opening, followed by footsteps above his head. Holli appeared at the edge of the landing and looked down at him.

"Where's Hermione?" she asked coldly, her eyes sweeping the small hall.

"She left," Remus answered, frowning up at her to show his displeasure.

"Wonderful," she sniped.

Remus sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You're coming to stay with me," he told her instead of arguing. Her eyes lit up slightly.

"What are you talking about?" she asked suspiciously. "How am I supposed to do that?"

"According to Hermione," he replied, gazing at her curiously, "you have another disguise that should be useful."

Her eyes widened. "How does she know about that?"

Remus shrugged. "Apparently, she happened upon it by chance," he said.

"She must have seen the books sometime when I had them out and open," murmured Holli.

"What disguise, Holli?" The question emerged sharper than he had intended. His patience was quickly wearing thin after the events of the night.

"Oh, all right," Holli huffed. "Keep your knickers on, I'll show you."

She started down the stairs, but halfway to the bottom landing, her form shimmered. Inexplicably, Remus expected to see Lea standing in her place. He was shocked when a large, furry, and solid black dog trotted up to his feet.

She wasn't nearly as big as Padfoot had been, but still quite decently sized. Her fur wasn't as chaotic and her snout wasn't as long, but to someone who had barely seen Padfoot, they could easily be fooled. The one thing that startled Remus the most, however, was the fact that she had grey eyes instead of green. Sirius had kept his eye colour when he had transformed, so why hadn't Holli?

"You're an Animagus," he breathed.

The dog shook out its fur and shifted as it morphed back into Holli. "Yes," she replied as she shrugged. "I had to have something to keep me busy while I was here, so I figured teaching myself to be an Animagus was a decent distraction." She leaned back against the stair rail and studied him. "Why are you so shocked?"

Remus shook his head. "I simply can't understand how everything you do has impressions of Sirius littered all through them. You're like some type of twisted memorial to him, in an odd sort of way."

Holli swallowed. "That's a bad thing?"

Remus smiled slightly. "No," he whispered. "No, it's not."

Holli looked down at her feet and scuffed her toe across the floor. When she glanced back up, her eyes were filled with reserved hope. "So, I get to come and stay with you?" she asked softly.

"I suppose you do," answered Remus, still in amazement.

Holli beamed and ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him so tightly he couldn't breathe.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Holli settled back into Remus' cottage fairly easily. Surprisingly enough, she wasn't even that upset that she was meant to spend half of her time as a dog. She was free to roam the fields surrounding Speranza as she pleased so long as she was wearing her disguise and Remus noticed that she looked healthier every day.

Her dog form had been dubbed Paddy after very little debate on the matter and Remus still couldn't help but chuckle. It had been an incredibly interesting conversation.

"You'll have to name me," Holli had said as they were packing books into a box.

"I'm sorry?" Remus had replied in confusion.

"You'll have to give me name," she'd said again. "You know, for when I'm a dog."

Remus had balked. "I most certainly will not name you," he had said.

"But you have to!" Holli had cried, her amusement at the situation barely contained. "When people see that you have a dog, they'll want to know its name. You obviously can't call me 'Holli'. They'll think you've gone mad."

"They already think that," Remus had murmured quietly.

Holli hadn't heard him. "I certainly can't name myself," she had continued.

Remus had looked up at her, his eyebrows raised. "And why not?" he had asked seriously. "I'm sure it's every animal's dream to name themselves. Honestly, some people come up with the most ridiculous names from their animals. Cocoa, Duffy, Mr. Snickerboxen..."

Holli had snorted. "What pet owners do you know?" she had laughed out. "I don't want to name myself. It just isn't right."

"I don't understand why not," Remus had replied, studying a thick volume full of ancient runes.

"Did you help name Sirius, James, and Peter?" she had asked smugly.

Remus had fumbled with the book to keep it held in his grip. "Well...yes, I did, but that was completely different."

"How so?" Holli had countered, crossing her arms over her chest.

"They weren't pretending to be my pets!" he had exclaimed in exaggeration.

"It doesn't matter," Holli had huffed. "You helped name them, so name me as well."

"I will not," he had resolutely refused.

Holli's eyes had narrowed as she had walked towards him and grabbed his chin between her thumb and index finger. "Remus Lupin," she had whispered forcefully, "you will name me and you will enjoy it."

And so, on a random whim, Paddy had been born. Honestly, he wouldn't trade Holli for anything in the world most days, but sometimes, he simply felt like beating his head against a brick wall in protest.

Late one evening, a week after Holli had come to stay with Remus, a knock sounded at the front door. Holli immediately jumped up and transformed into Paddy before racing ahead of Remus. The werewolf followed at a slightly slower pace, smiling to himself as he watched her tail wag.

When Remus opened the door, he caught a brief glimpse of Harry standing on the step before his vision was obstructed as Paddy pounced and began lathering Harry's face with slobbery licks. Harry started in surprise and Remus saw his hand twitch for his wand before he stilled and tried to force the dog back down on all fours.

"Er...Remus?" he said questioningly. "When did you get a dog?"

Remus chuckled as he leaned forward and hooked his arm around the dog's chest to pull her backwards. Harry stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Paddy immediately circled around his legs before planting herself directly beside his feet and leaning her head against his hip contentedly.

"Not too long ago," he answered cryptically. "Found her wandering down the pavement in London a few weeks ago. She was half-starved of affection and was a complete mess. She looked as though she'd been dragged through a storm."

The dog's eyes slid up to Remus' and contained such a look of promised revenge that Remus had to hide a laugh behind a cough.

"She's quite friendly for a stray," Harry said as Paddy nuzzled his thigh and he patted her head gently. Her tail thumped happily against the hardwood floor at the attention and Remus smiled.

"You'd be surprised what a bit of companionship can do," he murmured. The tail faltered slightly at the words before picking its rhythm back up.

"Hmm," Harry hummed as he gazed at Remus. "So, are you back here, then?"

Remus sighed. To avoid suspicion in the beginning, he had told Harry that he had found a job a bit further north and would be working so often that it wouldn't do any good for Harry to stop in nearly as much. That hadn't been true, of course. Remus had been working in a secondhand Muggle bookshop on the outskirts of London for months.

"Yes, I am," he replied. "I found a job in London, so I should be able to stay here more often." He glanced down at Paddy. Her eyes were closed in contentment as Harry scratched behind her ears. "Which I suppose is a good thing, considering I have her to take care of now."

Harry studied Remus as he spoke. "So, you're all right, then?" he asked tentatively.

Remus looked at him in bewilderment. "Of course I am," he stated. "Why do you ask?"

Harry shrugged. "You've seemed happier lately, Remus," Harry said. "Everyone can tell, especially Mrs. Weasley."

"Well," Remus said, "I've found a...new friend."

Saying that, Remus didn't feel as though he was lying to Harry. While Holli wasn't technically new, she was different. And didn't everything different hold some likeness to new.

"It's more than that, though," Harry said contemplatively. "You've seemed happier for months now. Something's changed, but no one can figure out what it is."

Remus glanced away and saw Paddy's eyes watching him closely. "I just -" he began before trailing off. He tried again. "It's just time, Harry. My life didn't end, and I need to stop acting as though it did. New job, new companion..." He gazed down at Paddy and smiled faintly. "It's time to start again."

Harry nodded in approval and his eyes filled with relief as he rubbed the side of Paddy's neck. "Now you just have to convince Mrs. Weasley of that," he muttered with a smirk.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to do that, Harry," Remus chuckled, shaking his head. "That woman has an entire section of her mind completely hollowed out for nothing but worry."

"Won't you come to dinner at least once, Remus?" the younger man pleaded. "She'd stop worrying about you if you did." Remus cocked an eyebrow and Harry shrugged one shoulder before conceding, "Well, she'd stop worrying as much as she does."

Remus stared at Harry for along moment as he debated with himself. "I suppose," he said, "that the next time you see her, you can tell her I'll stay after the next Order meeting." He glanced down at the dog sitting quietly at Harry's feet, her head resting against his leg. "Only if she doesn't mind my bringing Paddy along, that is. She loves people, that thing does, and she hardly sees enough of them, I'm afraid. Not to mention she destroys the house when I'm gone and she thinks I've left her to see someone else. Books scattered everywhere."

Harry grinned at his answer, but provided Remus with an odd look. "Dogs can't read, Remus," he joked.

Remus hummed. "You'd be surprised," he muttered.

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A/N: Yes, I know it's incredibly late. I'm sorry! The end was sort of dull and about halfway through writing it, I just lost all inspiration...You can probably tell where that happened, too. I'll be surprised if you can't.

On another note, I promise I am not copying JKR. I know that it might seem that way, but trust me, the Animagus form comes into play later and is important. I do have my own plot...

Also, look for another new chapter next Tuesday! (Hopefully...)

A very large thanks to easleyweasley for another terrific beta job!