The Consequences of Alcohol and Depression

The Consequences of Alcohol and Depression

Chapter 15: Conversing

The next day, the atmosphere had been very charged at Hermione and Percy's flat. Not a word was spoken between the roommates, and every time they accidentally looked at one another, they would quickly look away. 

Finally, when the tension had built up to an almost unbearable level, Hermione decided that she needed to get out for a couple of hours. Any more time at home with Percy would ensure that her head would explode.

Hermione quickly grabbed her cloak and headed to the living room, where Percy was currently sitting. "I'm going to go out for a little while," she said quickly. Percy's head snapped up, staring at her with a strange look.

He spoke after a moment. "Will you, uh, be back soon?"

"In a while," Hermione replied noncommittally. Percy gave her a small nod of acknowledgement, looking back down to the book in his hands. Hermione quickly Apparated to the Burrow, looking for Ginny. She had mentioned something about meeting her mother to shop for shoes for the wedding.

Appearing in the middle of the living room, she didn't find anyone. Hermione slowly made her way to the kitchen, where she found Charlie sipping a cup of coffee.

"Hey, Hermione, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Not a lot," she replied, sitting down across the table from him. She sighed, resting her head on her clasped hands.

"What's wrong?" he inquired, a questioning look on his face.

"Oh, it's nothing," Hermione told him evasively. "What are you doing home?"

Charlie smiled. "I've got the weekend off, and thought I'd come in and see everyone. But don't change the subject, what's wrong?"

Biting her lip, Hermione pondered how best to put her problem. "Well… have you ever had someone in your life that you used to feel one way about, but then you started feeling differently?"

"I can't say that I have," Charlie replied, raising his eyebrows, "How do you feel about this person?"

"Well, I used to just kind of think of him as a friend," Hermione said, "But sometime a few months ago, I just started thinking of him in a more… oh, I don't know… romantic sort of way."

"And, what's the problem? Does he not think of you like that?"

Hermione shook her head sadly. "No. "

"Well," Charlie asked, "Have you told him how you feel?"

"No, but I don't think he'd been interested in me. We've kind of talked about a romantic involvement before, but we decided against it," she replied. "But, well, I've gotten a couple of mixed signals lately."

Charlie gave Hermione a strange look. "Tell me, Mione, who exactly is this?"

"Oh, I'd rather not say," she said, color rising in her cheeks.

"Come on, Hermione, you know you can trust me," Charlie said, grinning.

Hermione sighed again. "Okay, but you can't laugh at me, or say that I'm stupid, or, well, anything, alright Charlie?"

"I would never," he said sincerely. Hermione nodded.

"It's… Percy."

"Percy?" Charlie asked.

 

"Yeah," Hermione said sadly. "I can't believe how stupid I am."

"You aren't stupid," he said firmly. "Um, exactly how romantic are these feelings, Mione?"

Closing her eyes and looking down at the table, Hermione replied. "I have fallen completely in love with your brother."

"Oh, Mione…" Charlie said, "Wow."

"I know," Hermione told him. "I don't know how I could have let myself do this."

"I guess that explains about you talking about romantic involvement," he said, "But what about the mixed signals?"

Hermione blushed again. "Well, you see, last night, I was just feeling really down, and then Percy brought home his date."

Charlie looked taken aback. "He brought her home?"

"Oh, not like that," she replied, "She insisted on seeing him home. And I'm telling you, she looked like a complete tart. Real low cut outfit, skirt up to here." Hermione held her hand up to her armpit to indicate the length. Hermione and Charlie both laughed.

"And?" he asked. 

"Well, look at me!" she said, "I'm pregnant, bloated, my hair's frizzed. I look awful!"

"Oh, you do not!" Charlie said reassuringly. 

"Well, as trashy as she looked, she was gorgeous," Hermione added, ignoring Charlie's last comment. "I look nothing like that, nor have I ever. That is exactly the kind of girl that gets the guy, not a bushy-haired bookworm like me."

"Hermione, don't think of yourself like that!" he said firmly, "Now what were those mixed signals?"

Hermione blushed. Even though she and Charlie were friends, she didn't feel comfortable talking about the kisses with anyone. Biting the bullet, Hermione decided to tell him.

"Okay. So last night, my secretary came in with Percy, and I just got even more depressed. I went to my room and started crying, and Percy came in. He comforted me, and when I said I thought I looked bad, he told me not to ever say those things about myself. Then, he, um, kissed me."

"He kissed you?" Charlie looked absolutely shocked. His eyebrows had mingled with his hair and his jaw had dropped clear to the table. "How?"

Scowling, Hermione let out an exasperated breath. "What do you mean, how?"

 

Charlie grinned at her discomfort. Hermione knew that he was trying to be sympathetic, but Charlie had always been amused when she got irritated. "Well, did he kiss you on the forehead, the cheek? Where?" 

"Where do you think?" Hermione asked angrily. "The lips, dimwit!"

"And was it just like a peck or a kiss-kiss?"

"A kiss-kiss," she replied, resting her forehead against the table.

"Now, did you just press your lips together, or-" Charlie was promptly cut off.

"Charlie, this isn't helpful!" Hermione cried. "You know exactly what kind of kiss it was!"

"I'm sorry," Charlie said, fighting back a laugh. "Did he say anything about it? Like why he did it?"

"He just said he got caught up in the moment," she replied, "I mean, it was a pretty intense moment, but it just seems…"

"Seems like what?" 

Hermione thought carefully, tentatively choosing her words. "It seemed… like there was something more in it than just 'getting caught in the moment.'" Charlie stared at her, a puzzled look on his face.

He spoke after a moment, his voice soft and gentle. "Well, Hermione, I can't really say what Percy was thinking when he kissed you. But I do know that if he does love you back and doesn't do anything about it, he is the most daft man I've ever known."

With that, Charlie stood up and walked to Hermione, wrapping his arms around her. Hermione rested her head against his chest and placed her own arms around his neck.

"Thank you, Charlie," she said quietly.

"Anytime, Mione. Anytime"

******

When Hermione had arrived home from the Burrow that evening, she'd done nothing more than give Percy a small nod before she escaped into her bedroom. She'd even opted to stay and have dinner with Charlie, Arthur, and Molly and Ginny (who'd gotten back from shopping just after Arthur had gotten home from work). Hermione had procrastinated for quite a long time after that, finally heading home around ten.

In the morning, things had still been as tense, and almost as bad as they'd been after their one-night-stand. Hermione had left for work almost immediately, even skipping her breakfast. She'd snapped at everyone all day, very fluently and creatively, barely restraining herself from hexing every person who'd walked into her office. 

But the one person she was truly angry with, aside from herself, was the one person she refused to talk to. Hermione had no desire to speak with Percy, at least for a while.

However, even a little while wasn't to be. As Hermione had walked into the hallway of the Ministry building as she was leaving work for the day, her least favorite redhead was leaning against the wall.

"Hermione!" Percy said loudly. Hermione simply ignored him and kept walking towards the Leaky Cauldron. His continual attempts the catch her attention were completely futile.

Hermione walked into the pub, where she'd decided to go to before she'd left work as an attempt to avoid Percy for even longer. Things don't often go as you plan them. She approached the bar, still disregarding Percy. "Hi, Tom," she said.

"Hello, Hermione, what can I get for you?" he asked.

"A glass of water and a turkey sandwich please," she replied, smiling before she headed to a table at the back. Percy faithfully followed.

"Hermione," he said, tapping his foot on the floor. She knew he was getting irritated, and she hoped he would eventually get the message and go away.

Stubbornly, she began to whistle, examining her nails. Hermione heard Percy's aggravated sigh, and she turned around as he sat down beside her. 

"Hermione, stop being so childish!" he ordered, grabbing her arm gently.

She turned to face him, her glare cold enough to freeze the sun. "No!" she said quietly, defiantly. With that, she turned back around, yanking her arm out of Percy's grasp.

"Why are you so mad at me?" he asked. Hermione didn't answer him. All of a sudden, he laughed. "Hermione, is this all because I kissed you?" She still refused to answer. "Mione, are you still upset about that?" 

"Is everything okay over here?" Tom asked as he approached with Hermione's water and sandwich.

"Yes, Tom, thank you," Hermione replied.

"Let me know if you need anything else," he said, glancing at Percy with a look that told Hermione he'd throw him out if she wanted it.

"Alright," she replied with a small smile.

When Tom had walked away, Percy tried again. "Hermione, is that what it is? Like I said, I'm really, really sorry about that."

 

Finally, her temper getting the better of her, Hermione answered. "Did you stop to think that maybe I wanted you to kiss me?!" Percy's eyes widened in shock, but not nearly as much as Hermione's did.

"W-what do you mean by that?" 

Quickly, Hermione covered her tracks. "Well, I mean, maybe I'd wanted to be kissed. Not just by you, you know." Alright, so it was Percy she wanted to be kissed by, but that information was on a need to know basis, and Percy just didn't need to know.

"Oh…" Percy replied, still looking a bit taken aback.

"Well, think about it," she said, "Here I am, pregnant, unmarried, and I haven't dated in a really long time. I don't feel attractive, or that anyone would want me. Then, you come along, and you tell me I'm beautiful and kiss me. And for a few moments, I actually felt like someone could like me, and think I'm pretty. And then, you leave, and I feel completely unloved and alone."

Her statement hadn't been entirely false. Percy had made her feel like that, and it had all gone rushing out the window when he'd left. Hermione just forgot to mention that most of all, she'd felt like she was someone he could love.

Percy looked like Hermione had just told him a runaway broom had hit his pet owl. "I made you feel like that?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," Hermione replied. "I have cried myself to sleep for two nights now." With that, Percy almost jumped up from his chair in his rush to get to her. He kneeled on the floor and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly.

"I am so, so, so sorry, Hermione," he said sorrowfully. Hermione could feel her eyes filling with tears at the gesture. "I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am."

"It's alright," she said, "I know you didn't mean it."

"But it's not alright!" he said urgently, pulling back. "I can't even believe that I made you feel like that. I've already done quite enough to you in the past seven months!" Hermione let out a small laugh at that, putting her arms around Percy's neck; he quickly hugged her back.

"Thank you," she said, "That means a lot to me."

"No, thank you," Percy replied, softly kissing her cheek. He pulled back after a few moments. "So, do you forgive me?" he asked, giving her the saddest puppy dog eyes.

Hermione sighed. "Of course, you git."

"Really, thank you, Mione," he said, this time kissing her forehead. "I’m really not worthy of such a great woman." The last sentence struck Hermione as odd, but she waved it off, opting to take in the moment and forget it.

"No problem, Perce," she said tentatively, giving him a small smile. He moved back again, eyeing Hermione questioningly.

"So, um, do you want me to go and let you eat in peace?"

"No, why don't you stay?" Hermione replied, motioning to the chair beside hers.

Percy looked surprised. "Really?" 

"Yeah," she said nonchalantly, "There's no sense in having to clean dishes for just one of us, right?"

"I guess so," he said, sitting down in the offered chair. He studied Hermione for a moment after that. And with a sad smile on his face, he spoke again. "I've really missed you, you know."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'you've really missed me'? We've not been more than a mile away from each other the entire time we haven't been talking."

Percy blushed. "Well, you know, I missed talking to you about your day, feeling the baby kick, just sitting around with you and catching up on work. Over the past few months, well… you've become my best friend, Mione." 

Reaching over and taking Percy's hand, Hermione smiled. "Really?"

 

"Yeah," he admitted, shrugging. This only caused Hermione's smile to brighten. Even through her growing feelings for Percy, not to mention the fact that they were about to become parents together, Hermione had felt their friendship begin to change. And although she already had several people she considered 'Best Friend', she knew Percy was one of the highest on the list.

"Well, you're one of my best friends, too," she said, squeezing his hand.

"What, only one of your best friends?" he joked.

"Yes, well, I don't remember you ever saving me from a troll," she said, sticking out her tongue playfully. Percy simply grinned and pulled Hermione into another hug. And Hermione was glad to have things back to normal. Even if she could never have any kind of romantic involvement with Percy, it was good to at least have her friend back.

******

(A/N- aww, yay! Percy and Hermione are friends again! Isn't it great? Now if only they'd listen to me and get to the romance! …um, yeaaaaah.

And poor, poor Mione, feeling all lonely. Now, as I believe I am rather confusing, I'll explain: what Hermione said to Percy, about feeling loved when he kissed her and all that, it was true. She had felt loved and wanted, and completely horrid when he'd pulled back. And yeah, they made up quickly, but you've got to remember those fluctuating hormones. Review if you like, and I appreciate it!