The Consequences of Alcohol and Depression

The Consequences of Alcohol and Depression

Chapter 14: Friendly Advice Just Doesn't Help

Percy had agreed to go out with Chelsea on that Friday night, and Hermione was absolutely miserable. Even though Percy rarely mentioned his date, it loomed over Hermione's head like a dark cloud of desolation, slowly gnawing her insides until they were nothing but sharp, pointy sticks of depression.

The only members of the Weasley family that seemed to be against the date were Molly and Arthur, who stayed still in their position that Percy marry Hermione. Hermione knew they'd still been making constant attempts to talk him into proposing. They said that they could have a small ceremony at the Ministry, and then have something larger when Hermione would feel comfortable walking down the aisle. While Hermione knew she wouldn't want to marry Percy, it wouldn't have hurt if he'd shown that he'd had any feelings for her.

Hermione sat in her favorite chair by the fire Friday night, a book on her lap. She had unsuccessfully tried to read the first page for twenty minutes before she gave in and resolved to stare at the crackling flames. 

As a creak was heard from Percy's door, Hermione wiped the sneer from her face. A look of awe soon came over her as her roommate stepped into the living room.

Percy was wearing a black dress shirt with a silvery-gray tie, a pair of charcoal gray slacks, and a shiny pair of black shoes. He had taken a bit of time on his hair, obviously, as it looked much nicer than normal. A silver watch peeked out from underneath his left sleeve, complementing the outfit, giving Percy a suave look. He looked undoubtedly more attractive than Hermione had ever seen him.

"Well?" he asked self-consciously. "How do I look?" He did a small twirl, and Hermione's breath caught in her throat. She nearly giggled with girlish delight at the sight of him.

"Percy, you look… you look…" Percy blushed and looked down at the floor.

"That bad, huh?" he asked, raising a hand to rub the back of his neck.

Hermione shook her head vehemently. "No, Percy, you look… well, pretty handsome!"

Percy blushed again. "Handsome?" he questioned, crossing his arms in front of himself.

"Very," Hermione told him with a smile. Percy flushed an even deeper red, if it was possible, although the grin on his face told Hermione that he enjoyed the complement.

"Alright, well, I'd better go," he said, checking his watch. Hermione's features saddened as she remembered that he hadn't dressed up for her, but her secretary. Every time Hermione's mind had gone over the word for the past three days, it had sounded like an awful swear word.

"See you," Hermione said quickly, pretending to read her book so she could mask her tears.

"I'll be back before midnight, okay?" Percy told her. As he passed the back of her chair, he bent down and placed a soft kiss on the top of Hermione's head. "Bye, Mione." It sounded almost sad, in a way, but Hermione was sure that he just felt bad about leaving her alone.

Giving a curt nod, Hermione once again directed her attention at her pretended reading efforts. She heard Percy Apparate with a soft 'pop,' and she put her head in one hand. A hot, angry tear slid down her cheek, splashing on the page of her book.

Letting out a frustrated scream, Hermione threw her book against the opposite wall, giving a dark smile as she imagined her secretary's face on the wallpaper.

Settling back and glaring at the fire, Hermione was once again drawn from her feelings of self pity as three men Apparated into the living room. "Hey, Mione, what's up?" Harry asked. The green-eyed wizard took a seat on the sofa, Ron sitting beside him, while Draco sat on the arm of her chair.

Noticing the puffiness of her cheeks, Draco tilted her face upwards with one hand. "What's wrong, Hermione?" he asked gently. 

"Nothing," Hermione said, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked away.

 

"Were you crying?" Ron asked. He and Harry both abandoned their seats and kneeled on the floor in front of her.

"I'm f-fine," she said, her voice breaking on the latter word.

"What's wrong, Mione?" Harry tried again, taking her hand in his.

"It is nothing!" she cried indignantly, glaring at all three men in turn. They quickly shared a look, silently deciding to not push her on the issue. "Now, what did you come bother me for?"

Ron scrunched his nose. "We came to see if you maybe wanted to go out tonight. Just the four of us."

Hermione nodded, sighing. "That sounds wonderful," she said wistfully.

"Well, come on, then," Draco said, taking her hand. "Let's go!"

"Hold on, let me get my cloak!" she said with a feeble grin. Walking over to the coat rack, she slipped on her cloak and grabbed her purse, sliding her feet into the comfortable shoes she'd recently bought. "Now, where to?" 

"Leaky Cauldron?" Harry asked the group; they all nodded in assent. The three men and Hermione quickly Apparated to the pub, claiming a table near the back.

"So, where's Ginny this evening?" Hermione asked, slowly sipping from her recently delivered glass of iced tea. 

Harry sighed. "She claims to be out preparing for the wedding, but you never can tell. Just last week she said she was going to buy milk, came back with four new robes."

"Yeah, I know that feeling," Ron said, a small smirk escaping his lips as he faced Draco.

"Hey, can I help it if I want to look good?" he asked defensively.

"I didn't say it was a bad thing," Ron added, now eyeing Draco in a very lewd manner. Sharing a look with Harry, Hermione cleared her throat. 

"Maybe we can save the flirting contest for later, hmm?" she asked the two men. Both blushed and looked away from one another. 

"So, anyways, what's been going on with you, Hermione?" Harry asked.

Hermione scowled. "My stomach's gotten bigger, my ankles more swollen, and I have nobody in my life. Just peachy!" 

"Hermione-" Ron began, but she cut him off.

"Meanwhile, the father of my baby is off cavorting around with my hussy of a secretary, I'm being forced away from work in just over a week, and I'm not even close to being ready for this baby!" she stated loudly, her tone rising with every word. The three wizards looked on in concern, none of them knowing quite what to do. 

"Um, Mione, are you alright?" Harry asked, placing a hand on her arm. Sighing, Hermione nodded.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, its just this whole dating thing," she told them, casting her glance down at the table. "I just really hadn't thought about Percy going out with anyone, is all, and it's come as a bit of a shock."

"Well, Hermione," Draco said, "Its not like you can expect the man to stay single forever. You'll both start dating a lot soon enough, and start getting on with your lives. I mean, sure, you'll have a baby, and you two will always be together in that way, but its not like either of you wants to just spend forever living together as single people." 

"He's right, Mione," Ron said, "You're only twenty-three, and Percy's only twenty-six. You both have plenty of time ahead of you for your real families." 

"Real families…" Hermione said softly, a large frown on her face. Suddenly feeling more depressed than before her friends had arrived, Hermione placed a hand against her belly. "Would you guys mind if I went home? I’m not feeling well all of a sudden."

Exchanging surprised looks, Harry eventually spoke. "Uh, no, I guess not. You want me to see you home?" 

"No thanks," she replied sadly. "I'll see you all later, okay?" She quickly threw a few Knuts onto the table, Disapparating without another word.

Hermione kicked off her shoes and threw her cloak and purse over a chair, curling up on the couch. Draco and Ron had been right, of course. Had she ever really been dense enough to think otherwise? That Percy would want to spend the rest of his life with her, just friends? Raising a baby and growing old together, yet completely alone? 

Realizing that she was an absolute idiot, Hermione felt tears stinging her eyes. It wouldn't be long before Percy found some wonderful woman and fell head over heels in love with her, deciding to move out and marry her and have more children with her. Hermione had no doubt that he'd still take responsibility for their child, but she'd have to raise it all alone, without anyone.

Suddenly, a burst of anger and defiance hit Hermione. She didn't need Percy! She didn't need anyone! She had always gotten along just fine on her own, and she had no need for anyone to take care of her or pity her.

It was an absolute travesty, Hermione realized, that she had taken such a moment of despair. She quickly got up off of the couch, standing in front of the mirror against the wall. Assessing what she saw, Hermione was rather pleased. Sure, she was pregnant, and looked rather big. But that would go away after a couple of more months, and she'd be blessed with a child in its place. Her hair was a lovely shade of brown, and very soft. Her chocolate eyes were deep, and Hermione had known several men who'd gotten lost staring into them.

Her face had a lovely shape, with full lips, long eyelashes, and a nose that everyone found cute. Her legs were long and slender (usually), and once she lost the baby weight, her body would go back to looking great. Maybe not as good as before pregnancy, but still great enough to catch the attention of any wizard who walked by.

Grinning, Hermione walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, picking up her book on the way back to the couch. She was finally able to concentrate properly for the first time in three days.

Until, that is, two other people Apparated into the room. Percy appeared, Chelsea clutching his arm. All of Hermione's prior thoughts of herself were sent flying out the window as she took in her secretary.

Chelsea was wearing a very low cut, tight, red dress, with a hemline so short that Britney Spears would have looked away from in embarrassment. A pair of six-inch stiletto heels adorned her feet, sending her up to Percy's height. Every single thing Hermione had found good about herself was quadrupled with her secretary. 

Hermione looked down at her own body, each insecurity coming back to her. She wasn't just pregnant, she was fat. Her legs were average length and chubby. Her lips were rather thin. Her hair and eyes were plain. Nothing special at all.

"Hi, Mione, did you have a good night?" Percy asked, smiling warmly at her.

"Just fine," Hermione said slowly.

"I insisted on seeing your roommate home," Chelsea said sweetly, acting completely different from the girl Hermione knew at work.

"Oh, thank you very much," Hermione replied dryly. The secretary was so busy batting her eyelashes at Percy that she didn't even notice.

"Okay, I've got to go," she said, her voice as sugary as Maple syrup, "Owl me, okay?" Chelsea leaned over to kiss Percy, but he turned his head just in time, her lips landing just on his cheek. 

"Bye," he said, nodding once. Chelsea didn't seem to pick up on his eagerness for the date to be over, and neither did Hermione, who was now too busy revisiting her self-pity to notice. With a last wave and a naughty grin, Chelsea Disapparated. Percy sat down heavily on the couch, sighing as he ran a hand through his hair.

Knowing that she wouldn't be able to control her tears, Hermione shot up. "I'm going to bed, okay? Night," she said quickly, heading towards her room. Her attempt to conceal her crying didn't work, however, as she let out a loud sob just before the door was shut.

She eased herself onto her bed and allowed the tears to flow freely, her anguished cries echoing throughout the room. Hermione thought momentarily about placing a silencing spell on the room, but then she realized she didn't care anymore.

Clutching the pillow underneath her head, Hermione barely heard the knock on the door. "Hermione?" Percy called, knocking again.

Scowling, Hermione told him to come in. Percy pushed the door open a crack and approached the bed. Hermione refused to look at him, turning onto her side.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" Percy asked, sitting down beside her on the bed.

"Nothing…" she said, her voice muffled by the pillow. 

"Hermione, what is it?" he tried again, placing a hand on her leg comfortingly.

Sighing in a defeated manner, Hermione shook her head. "Look at me," she said quietly, her back still to Percy. "I'm huge, I haven't seen my feet in weeks, I look completely hideous. I mean, tonight, I'd actually gained a bit of confidence about myself, and then she comes strolling in, looking like that!

"The only date I've been on in almost ten months has been with my involved gay best friend," Hermione said through the tears. Her heart jolted as she felt Percy lying down beside her, an arm wrapping around her. He pulled her tightly to his chest, softly rocking her as her tears slowly began to subside. Percy uttered small, comforting noises into her ear, his hand stroking her belly.

"If it helps any," he said quietly, "she's an absolute tart, and I don't plan on going out with her again." Hermione let out a small laugh. "I mean, she has absolutely no depth, her brain consists of tubes of lipstick and shoes. The only thing she's got going for her is her looks."

Hermione sighed. "But that's all that's going to matter. Nobody ever cares about your mind, all anyone wants is a great body. And look at me! I'm fat, I'm ugly. Even once I’m through with being pregnant, that won't change."

Hermione was about to go on when Percy placed a hand over her mouth. She turned to look at him to see fire in his eyes. His voice when he spoke was quiet, but held so much intensity and passion that Hermione thought she'd stumbled upon a new person. "Don't you ever say that about yourself, Hermione. You are beautiful. Any man would be lucky to have you, and any who'd turn away from you is a bloody idiot." 

He slowly removed his hand from her face, but continued staring down at her with a strange look in his eyes. Hermione opened her mouth to say something, but she forgot what when she saw Percy moving his face closer to hers. Her lips and eyes snapped shut just moments before Percy's own lips found Hermione's. 

It was gentle, with no pressure, as they were barely even touching. Percy moved back up after only a moment, his eyes looking into hers, searching. Hermione's mind was absolutely racing. Percy had kissed her! Before she could even give it another thought, Percy lowered his face again and gently touched her lips with his own. Hermione, heart beating a mile a minute, raised a hand to touch his face, to prove to herself that what was happening was real. That she was actually kissing Percy Weasley.

Yet again, before she could think too much about it, Percy moved back. His breathing was slightly labored even though the kiss hadn't lasted long, just seconds more than the last. Shakily, Hermione raised her other hand to Percy's face, not pushing him away or pulling him closer. Her eyes searched his just as he was doing to her, and Hermione took an uneasy breath.

Slowly, she and Percy moved together again, their lips meeting with more force. Hermione moved her hands higher and threaded them through Percy's hair, pulling him closer. Percy's hands weren't idle, either. He gently cupped the back of Hermione's head, his other softly stroking the side of her neck.

Pulling back a few moments later, Hermione smiled encouragingly at Percy, urging him to kiss her again. And kiss her he did. He moved his lips slightly as they came together, deepening the kiss. Hermione could feel it all the way throughout her body and soul, Percy's gentle yet burning kiss making her feel utterly alive, more than she had in the longest time.

Percy deepened the kiss even further, and Hermione's sigh was lost in his mouth. He rolled onto his side and pulled her closer to him, neither able to get enough.

But then, just as unexpectedly as the kiss had started, it ended. Percy jerked back, his eyes wide and unbelieving. Hermione pulled her hands back down by her sides quickly, forcing her breathing and her heart to slow. Percy raised his hand to his lips, softly touching.

"Oh, Hermione, I'm so, so sorry," he breathed. "I- I didn't mean to…"

Hermione quickly shook her head. "No, d-don't worry about it."

"I guess I just got caught up in the moment, or something," he said meekly, staring intently at the coverlet on Hermione's bed. 

"It's fine," Hermione said softly, feeling her heart shattering. He hadn't meant it…

"I'm, uh, just going to go," Percy said, quickly standing up from the bed. He walked uneasily to the door, giving Hermione a nervous, apologetic smile as he closed it behind him.

Hermione turned onto her back and stared at the ceiling, feeling the tears silently rolling down her cheeks. What had that been about? Percy had told her that she was beautiful, that she was wonderful, and then he'd kissed her! The most passionate, fiery, wonderful kisses she'd ever had. And Hermione, stupid as she was, had kissed back. And when she'd started to have the slightest inkling that he might feel the same about her that she did about him, he'd gone and left, completely crushing her. Sighing, Hermione let the tears flow freely.

******

(A/N- THERE!!! For everyone who has been bugging me this whole time for some Percy/Herm action, THERE IT IS! Yeah, I know, another kinda angsty chapter, but at least they kissed. Tee hee…

There a still several chapters to go, I think about seven. And I'm sorry, but I might skip Christmas and just give you a little explanation of what happened... or not do it at all! Baby Granger-Weasley is on its way soon, and it'd like to get to that without putting in an extra filler chapter that will have nothing to do with the plot.