Sod Off

It was about quarter to nine when Joanne woke up in her cheerful London flat, in which she lived with her Mom, Dad, and little brother. In the next flat over, live her best friend, Rebecca, and her Mom, Dad, and older brother. They were both 11, and planning to start the sixth grade this year at the local secondary school. Little did they know that their plans would soon change...

*

Joanne opened her eyes, and then promptly closed then after being nearly blinded by the bright cheerful sun. She had just reached sitting position, when a blow to the head immediately knocked her back down.

Silently cursing, she was just wondering why the zoo couldn't keep the flying squirrel cage closed (as such a thing had happened before), when she opened her eyes, and...um...stared.

An owl was sitting on her chest, glaring imperiously at her. With a sassy flick of its tail feathers, it departed, leaving a yellowed moldy letter. Before going any further however, she pulled out her handy-dandy Guide to Owl Body Language and found that a tail flick means, "you're sexy". Spirit slightly uplifted by this, she commenced to open her letter.

Dear Ms. Santa Ana,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry...Yadda Yadda Yadda...She skipped the boring parts...We will be looking forward to seeing you. Term begins on Sept. 1.

"Whoa..." she muttered to herself.

*

There were only about four things Joanne and Rebecca had in common. They both like socks and carrots, and both fear people that smile too much. How they became friends is anyone's guess. But no matter. They're friends now.

Joanne groaned when she remembered what day it was. 'Dammit,' she said, silently. Today was Tuesday. Today she had piano. "URG," she moaned, as she rolled out of bed. Since it was late July, there was of course no school, but she liked to sleep in till at least 10:00. "A whole morning of sleeping wasted, thanks to that evil owl!!" She grumbled.

It wasn't really the owl's fault though. She had woken up before it "attacked" her, but she needed to blame her lack of sleep on something.

'Strange letter though,' she thought, thoughtfully. 'Oh well, probably just Jason playing another one of his immature jokes,' she thought, her bad mood returning in full measure.

She took her sweet time dragging herself to the bathroom. 'Ugabuga! Piano at four...' she grumbled, while brushing her teeth.

After breakfast, she tiptoed upstairs--her family was still sleeping. 'Lazy bums,' she thought. She headed into the computer room to get some quality time on the computer, without her little brother who isn't really that little, nagging her to get off. He is only one year younger then Joanne, and was at least an inch taller then her. She often wondered what he did all the time on the computer.

She was pleased to see that Rebecca was on AIM, under the sn Scarletfairy07. She greeted her, and asked what they should do that day, all thoughts of the cryptic letter gone from her mind.

*

They decided on Joanne going to Rebecca's house to watch a movie, since HER parents were already up. She grabbed Dogma and rushed over to Rebecca's neighboring flat.

All too soon it was time to go to piano. Joanne whined and complained, but still found herself shoved out the door, bag in hand. Like Rebecca, Mrs. Pritchard also lived nearby.

Mrs. Pritchard was a mean old woman, who liked nothing better to do than to boss people around, and make their life a living Hell. She swaggered there, taking her time, in no apparent rush, whatever you want to call it, but she went slowly.

Mrs. Pritchard opened the door with a curt, "You're late!" and hurried Joanne inside. She played scales until Mrs. Pritchard was satisfied, which was about after she played them twenty times until her finger ached.

Mrs. Pritchard suddenly flipped to the back of her book, to an extremely hard song, which she knew Joanne couldn't play yet.

"You will not leave until you finish it," said Mrs. Pritchard with a satisfied smirk. She tried and tried so many times, and it was way past time to leave. Her Mum would worry soon. At least she had Mrs. Pritchard to blame it on though.

"You must play it like this!" screeched Mrs. Pritchard, and did a demonstration. "Put more effort into it!" She droned on and on, criticizing her skill. All the while, Joanne felt her anger building up inside her, higher and higher, until--

Suddenly the sheet of music burst into flame. Just like that. Joanne puzzled over it for a few moments, until Mrs. Pritchard's shrieks brought her back to consciousness.

"Well don't just sit there you stupid girl! Put it out!" Mrs. Pritchard was franticly trying to put the growing fire out with water. 'Good God, how will that help?' Joanne mentally sighed. She grabbed the paper, then threw it on the cold stone floor, and stomped it out with her Doc Marten boots. (Yes, I like those)

Mrs. Pritchard looked in shock. After a minute or two, she snapped out of it, then barked at Joanne, claiming the lesson was over, without even a simple thanks. Joanne shrugged. 'Well, I'm not complaining...' Meanwhile...

*

As soon as Joanne left, Rebecca collapsed on her bed. 'Nothing to do...sooooo...boring...' Her brother walked down the hall. Rebecca glanced up and saw he still had green hair, and smirked. "Still got that hair, I see." It wasn't a question. He scowled at her.

"Yeah, thanks to you!" He stalked off.

In truth, she didn't dye his hair green, as he said she had. She, of course, had already told him that, but being as stubborn as he was, didn't even listen to her.

About a week ago, she and her brother had gotten into a little fight over the shower. He was taking so long that if he didn't finish soon, she would be late for school. She finally just left without showering, but not before yelling through the closed door, "You'll be sorry!" And added as an afterthought, "And I hope your hair turns green!" And it had, the following morning.

Her parents didn't do much, because they figured it would just wash out, but it didn't. He was going to dye it back to normal that afternoon. "Can't go to school with green hair, now can I?" He had growled at her yesterday.

5 hours later...

Bored, bored, BORED! Rebecca had done nothing all day, and right now had taken to staring out the window.

'Ugabuga! I'm just wasting the summer by staring out this bloody window! School starts on September third, and today's July twenty-fifth, soooo...' she ticked the days off her fingers, and had to go to her toes and her fingers again. "Only thirty-nine days of freedom left!" she moaned. "At least Matt's hair is back to normal,' she thought dully.

She thought it was getting a bit stuffy, so she opened the window and let the breeze play around with her shoulder length chestnut hair. She was jerked out of her train of thought when she saw an odd shape flying toward her. Being curious as she was, she left the window open.

'Curiosity killed the cat,' she scolded herself. 'Well I ain't no cat!' said another part of her mind. She grinned a little at this silent argument, until she remembered why she was having this argument in the first place. It took a few minutes. She looked out again and just saw an owl. No strange shape.

Then the penny dropped. The owl WAS the strange shape! The owl had a letter attached to its foot. 'How strange,' she thought.

She let the owl in through her window, and untied the letter from it. It read: 'Ms. R. Fornoff, 1782 Chipping Salisbury, London Flat, second floor, bedroom with the Snake.' 'How odd!' She was intrigued at how they knew about her snake.

"What the heck!" she said out loud, figuring it was just one of her friend's pranks, and ripped it open.

'Dear Ms. Fornoff,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry...What kinda freakin' letter is this anyway?' She read on. 'Whoa,' was about the only thing she could think right now.

'A wand? Cool!' She flopped on her bed. After a few minutes, the shock wore off, and was replaced with excitement. Immediately she ran to the computer to send an email to Joanne, and her other friend, Hermione Granger, who she hasn't seen since last year, because she was sent off to some boarding school in Scotland.

*

Joanne had just started brushing her teeth, when she heard a loud, 'You've got mail!' from her bedroom. She spit out a lot of toothpaste.

She looked over at the computer, and saw Rebecca's excited email.

"Meet me and Herms at the creek tomorrow morning..." she trailed off. "Sounds good. I haven't seen 'Mione in a long time."

The only thought she had before falling asleep, was where the heck she would buy a wand.

*

Rebecca was early. 'Darn!' Neither Joanne nor Hermione were there yet. 'Oh well,' she sighed. 'Patience is a virtue...'

Ten minutes later...

"Whoever made up that stupid line, 'Patience is a virtue', deserves to rot in hell!" she screamed. 'Where are they?' she thought more calmly.

Suddenly Rebecca heard a rustle in the bushed. Being the worried person she was, she picked up a stick and spun around only to find--

"Joanne? Hermione?" she asked in obvious disbelief.

"Where you going to club us to death with a TWIG?" Hermione chuckled. "I haven't seen you guys in so long!" she squealed, and pulled them both into a tight hug, the their horror. Tears where now streaming down her flushed cheeks. Even though they were a year younger than her, they still lived in her neighborhood, and were her only friends before Hogwarts, and she had missed them dearly.

"So how was that boarding school of yours?" asked Joanne, once Hermione had released them. "What was it called anyway?" she asked, wondering if it could possibly be--

"Er..." Hermione hesitated, "Hogwarts."

"Cool! I'm going there too!" Joanne and Rebecca said in unison.

"Really?" asked Hermione, her eyes widening.

"Yeah, I got the letter last night!" They just stared at each other in shocked silence for a while, until Hermione broke the silence.

"Erm... so do you guys know where to get your school things from?"

'Uh-oh,' they both thought. It had never occurred to them where they would buy wands and phials in London.

Hermione laughed at their shocked faces. "Well, I'm going to get mine tomorrow morning. You're more then welcome to come if you'd like."

"Right, thanks."

They parted, and started to go back to their respective houses.

"Oh, and one more thing."

"Hmm?"

"Come to my house at one."

"Gotcha."

"Right-O!"

Wow. End of the first chapter. Praise me.