Attraction to Things Uncertain

"Return to life...

Feel what's happening...

The seasons...

Have made me whole.

The song inside

Gone with the undertow...

You're glowing lights...

Make me high..."

"Take Me Alive" by Tweaker.

From: "Attraction to Things Uncertain."

Chapter 1: Take Me Alive

In a dark corner in a quiet room sat a man with his eyes closed, a pipe in his mouth. He was waiting for something. Across from him was a mahogany coffee table, covered in papers, maps, and a few ashtrays that were slowly filling with ashes from his pipe. He smoked his pipe like it was something sacred--something to be kept in a temple somewhere and worshipped repeatedly. Opening his watery eyes, he glanced at a door opposite him, and leaned forward as he saw a bit of light move under the door. He grabbed the pipe in his other hand, which glinted strangely in the light. The hand was made of silver.

Staring blankly at the door, he waited, and watched. Nothing.

Relaxing back into his chair, he closed his eyes again, satisfied nothing was what he had seen. As soon as he had begun to drift into his daydreams, there was a loud bang. He jumped up, straight backed and dropped his pipe. He stared at the closed doorway. A green light blew under the door like a gas, filling the room with its eerie illumination. He reached for his pipe in impulse and stood slowly. "It worked," he whispered into the quiet room. His voice echoed.

The door opened creakily as something from a bad horror movie. He swallowed nervously. A tall, cloaked figure entered. From an outer corridor, more cloaked figures entered and pulled down their hoods, staring at the strange, tall thing in the midst of the emerald light.

The thing reached up with pale, spidery hands, and pulled down the hood. Everyone drew a breath. Where the thing had been was a boy. A mere boy. One with black hair and dark eyes that searched all before him. One with long fingers, thin lips, and raised eyebrows. "Miss me, Gentlemen?" came the teenager's voice. All bowed. A high, cold laugh filled the room, and the man called Wormtail pocketed his pipe for safekeeping.

~~~

Take me alive

Don't wake me up.

No more time to spend

In hiding

Take me alive,

Don't wake me up.

No more time

To spend in.....

Ginny Weasley stared out the window of the hotel room and sighed. Staying in Diagon Alley was exciting, she guessed, until the fun wore off. That, and after four years of doing it you would think one's parents would get bored and decide to stay home longer before school started the next year. But every year; the same thing. Harry and Ron were in a Quidditch shop and Hermione hadn't even arrived yet. Everything was dull--the sun that shone in the window made everything seem faded. The more Ginny thought about it, though, she realized it was because everything in the room was faded--anything that belonged to her family, any way.

"I hate being poor," she muttered. "I wish I were filthy rich and I could spend money on stupid, pointless things like that git Malfoy can." She crawled off of the window seat and to the door. "No point staying in here alone and miserable," she noted, going outside into the bright sunshine. That helped, as did the sounds of laughter and merriment from the Alley.

Now that school supplies had been bought, there was nothing to do but walk around. She couldn't buy anything, after all. Her parent's money had seen to that. Groaning as she sat down on a bench, she thought. Fifth year, she supposed, was no more interesting than fourth. Sure, there had been a brief romantic involvement with a certain clumsy boy named Neville--but it hadn't lasted long...

"This isn't going to work Neville," Ginny said from her place in front of the fire.

Neville nodded sadly and stared into the flames. "It's me, isn't it?"

Ginny grabbed his hands, forcing him to look at her. "No! No, of course not! It has nothing to do with you. It's me. I just--" she sighed. "I'm not ready for a relationship right now."

He smiled sadly and stood up. "Then I guess this is goodbye. See you in class, Gin," he said while shuffling off to the boy's dormitories.

...She had, of course, been lying. He was just so...boring. His favorite class was Herbology, for Merlin's sake! She shook her head. "Maybe it is you, Ginny," she said aloud. "Maybe that's why no one likes you. You're not pretty enough, not smart enough, not interesting enough. You're just Ginny," she put her head in her hands, moaning slightly.

"Well, I'm just Tom, but just because one is named Tom doesn't mean you are hated."

Ginny looked up. Somewhere in her self-pity, a boy had come and sat next to her. He looked oddly familiar, but every time she tried to place his face, she couldn't. It was as if she could never see him properly, but could only see him out of the corner of her eyes. "I-I'm sorry?" she stuttered, then scolded herself for sounding so stupid.

The boy smiled and extended a hand. "Just sympathizing with you. I'm Tom." She shook his hand and a shiver ran down her spine. Hadn't she felt that before?...

"Ginny. Ginny Weasley," she said with a smile.

"I heard the Ginny bit before. Sounds like you're having a rough time, Ginny," the boy said warmly, drawing his hand away and placing it into his robes.

Ginny looked away sheepishly. "Well...yes, I sort of am."

"You sort of am?" The boy repeated her comically.

"Erm...well...you see, there was this boy--"

"Ah, that sort of trouble." The boy shook his head. "I'm no good there either. No sense asking my advice, I can't help you." Ginny laughed at his tone of seriousness.

"Well then, we're in the same boat. I couldn't give advice on romance if it was staring me in the face."

"Perhaps that means we're kindred spirits, then," Tom said jovially.

"Perhaps." They both laughed and paused for a moment, listening to the bustle of Diagon Alley around them. "Would you care to walk?" Ginny said suddenly, turning towards him.

"Gladly. Just got in and, well..." he paused "I haven't been here for a while. I'd like to see what's changed." He stood with Ginny, and they walked in the direction of Gringotts.

"So, Tom, what do you do?" He looked at her strangely. She laughed. "I mean, what do you do for fun. Hobbies? Interests?"

"Oh that." He snorted. "Well, if you get into that, I'm more of a book person. I love to read."

"You should meet a friend of mine. She's obsessed with books," Ginny looked over at a shop window and felt a pang as she noticed the beautiful dresses hanging within.

"Is she?" There was an awkward silence. "Well, that's not all I like, of course. I enjoy music."

"What sort?" Ginny asked distractedly, staring behind her at the shop window until it was out of sight. I want those dresses...

"To be honest, classical. Or anything worth listening to." They passed Flourish and Blotts, and strains of a popular wizarding tune floated out from within. She forced herself to think about what he was saying. "As long as it's in good taste and has a good beat." Tom said, listening for a moment before wrinkling his nose in distaste and wandering forward. "Wizarding pop," he muttered sotto voce.

"I don't like that sort of music, either, if that's anything," Ginny added with a laugh. "I like Celtic, actually."

"Wizarding or Muggle?" Tom asked quickly, almost guardedly.

"Both," Ginny shrugged. "Anything that sounds wonderful to the ear, like you said."

Tom smiled. "Ah, I see. So...Loreena McKennitt?"

"Definitely," Ginny said happily.

"She's actually a witch," Tom said matter-of-factly. "She just--gave up on the wizarding world and went to music instead. Music is quite...powerful..."

He stopped as they heard music again, coming from Knockturn Alley. It was dark and quiet, but something about it made shivers of pleasure run up and down Ginny's spine. "What is that?" she asked softly.

"I don't know." Looking at her mischievously, he added, "Why don't we find out?"

Ginny frowned. "I don't think so. I've gotten in enough trouble over the years by going places I shouldn't go and listening to things I shouldn't have." She shivered. "No, I don't think I will. You're free to, of course, if you're allowed."

Tom laughed and started walking again. "I won't go in if you won't."

Ginny smiled again, although something glaringly familiar was staring her in the face. "Then we both won't." They walked in silence again.

"Do you like ice cream?" Tom said suddenly as they passed Fortescue's.

Ginny was taken aback. "Well, erm...yes. Yes, I do."

"Would you like some?" Tom asked with a bright smile.

"I would," Tom opened the door for her, "But I can't afford anything else today. I've already spent enough money."

"No worries, it's on me," Tom waved her forward with a hand.

"You sure?"

"Positive."

She paused, and went in.

~~~

Return, my love

Hear my offering.

Unreason,

Misplaced control.

The stop less rise,

Dawned with your kiss, my love,

Your glowing eyes,

Light up the sun...

~~~

Harry and Ron walked forward, talking excitedly about the Chudley Cannons. "Dad thinks they might just win next game against the Ballycastle Bats." At this, Harry shook his head in disbelief. "And then if they beat the Falcons..." Ron trailed off as he paused by a store window.

"What is it?" Harry said, still in Quidditch-mode.

"Who's that with Ginny?" Ron pointed inside the store window. Harry looked and squinted to see inside. It was Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. There, a pale, dark haired boy was in animated conversation with Ginny, sharing a large chocolate sundae.

Harry walked forward to get a closer look at the boy, and felt a sudden ache in his scar--it wasn't the searing pain he was used to--just a faint throbbing...

The boy looked familiar, but he couldn't place who he was.

"I dunno who he is, but I want to find out," Ron was saying when Harry came back to reality.

"Yeah, me too," Harry said quickly.

"Let's go," Ron started towards the door.

~~~

"Yes, yes, that's exactly how I feel!" Ginny cried loudly, hitting the table with her palm. "Everything about it! The lonely part too, of course."

"So what you are trying to say," Tom said, waving his spoon at her like a pointer, "Is that you wish they would let you live your life and stop trying to get in the way."

"Definitely," Ginny said, eating a cherry.

Tom nodded wisely. "As I thought."

"Sometimes I want to just blast them," Ginny added in an undertone, glaring at her spoon as she took a bite of chocolate ice cream.

Tom straightened suddenly. There was a long pause as Tom smiled at her strangely, long fingers folded as he studied her carefully. Ginny traced her napkin absentmindedly, not noticing this. "Do you often feel that way about them?" he finally said very quietly.

"Why?" Ginny asked, looking up from her napkin.

"It may mean certain things...I'll have to do more research though..." he muttered, eyes still focused on her weirdly.

Ginny giggled. "Thank you, Dr. Tom." She didn't quite grasp the seriousness and the air of the room seemed to relax again.

Tom gave a half smile as he set his spoon down. "I know exactly how you feel," he sad strangely...sadly.

"Even about the lonely bit?" Ginny said as she swallowed.

Tom nodded. "It's not hard for one to be lonely. Nor is it to realize that the only friend you will ever have is yourself."

Ginny chewed on the cherry stem thoughtfully. "That's almost depressing."

Tom laughed. "Welcome to my world." He said sarcastically as he waved his arms widely in the air. Ginny giggled again.

"Can we uh--can we join you?" came a voice from slightly behind Tom. Ginny and Tom both jumped, and Ginny noticed his left hand automatically fly somewhere deep in his robes and slightly pull out a wand.

Ron and Harry stared back at them. Harry did not fail to notice Tom's hand on the wand, but Ron did, and pushed his way into the booth next to Ginny. "So how's it going, Gin? Who's your friend?"

Ginny frowned as the boys settled next to her. As the booth was a circular one, she scooted until she was across from them and next to Tom. "I was doing just fine." Without you. Was left unspoken but understood by all parties just the same. "And this is Tom," Ginny said carelessly, waving a hand at him.

"Tom...?" Harry said, leaving an obvious blank that needed to be filled. There was silence for a moment, and Harry's hair went up on the back of his neck as Tom's eyes met his.

"Tom Havenworth," Tom said in an icy tone.

"I've never heard of you," Harry said guardedly.

"I just moved her from Ireland," Tom said firmly.

"Really? But...you're definitely British," Ron said, slowly catching onto Harry's dislike of this boy.

"Well, I started out here in London, but I've moved around quite a bit in my lifetime," Tom said, bored. He rolled his eyes as he noticed Harry wasn't done asking questions.

Before Harry could open his mouth, Ginny cut in. "What's with the interrogation?"

Harry and Ron stared at her. "Well, erm..." Ron started. Ginny interrupted.

"We were having a lovely time together until you two got here," Ginny added with a glare at Ron, silencing him. Tom stared at Harry for the longest time. Harry met the gaze, still shivering as he tried to place where he had seen that look before.

Harry didn't look away until Ginny spoke again. "Well, that settles it." Ginny said angrily as she stood up. Ron and Harry stared. "You know how to ruin a good time, don't you? Come on, Tom." She pulled on his arm. Tom shook her off and stood slowly, eyes still on Harry. His eyes flickered up to his forehead and he smiled.

"Oh, hello Mr. Potter. Didn't realize it was you," he said casually as he dropped a few Galleons on the table. "That should suffice for our sundae. Perhaps we'll meet again, Harry." Harry shivered at the way Tom twisted his name. He turned and walked out after Ginny, removing an ebony wand from his pocket and twirling it idly in his fingers as they disappeared in the throng of people outside. Harry's subconscious noted that someone else had done that very same action...who? Ron and Harry watched Ginny's red hair bouncing through the crowd until they could see it no longer.

"Did he remind you of someone?" Ron asked carefully.

Like all else about Tom, any memory or thought of him seemed to slip Harry's mind as he grasped onto it, and soon he couldn't even remember his face. "No," Harry lied quickly as he turned back to Ron. "Want ice cream?"

~~~

Take me alive

Don't wake me up,

No more time

To spend in hiding,

Take me alive,

Don't wake me up,

No more time to spend in...

Turn around and look to grow...

Turn around, around

(peace of my soul)

Turn around, around and look to grow...

(peace of my soul)

Turn around, around, around, around...

"I'm sorry about them. They seem to like to burst into the middle of something I was doing," Ginny said, pushing a lock of curly hair out of her face as she and Tom continued back towards the Leaky Cauldron.

"I figured that would happen," Tom shrugged. He seemed pensive.

"What is it?" Ginny asked, looking at him.

"Just trying to think why I came here today," he said in a distant voice.

"Why did you, anyway?" Ginny said.

Tom finally looked back at her with a strange grin on his face. "To test my social skills."

Ginny returned the smile amiably. "You're quite good at socializing."

Tom laughed softly. "No, no. You are an exception, Ginny. A definite exception." He paused at the entrance to the Leaky Cauldron. "You were staying here, weren't you?"

Ginny frowned. "Did I tell you that?"

"No. I'm telepathetic." Ginny laughed at his twist of the word. "Honestly? Since you were sitting on the bench I thought maybe you came from in here. Just logic," he added quickly.

"Good logic, then." Ginny stared at her feet for a moment. "Thank you for the ice cream," she said softly.

"You are welcome." The words sounded strange coming from him--he obviously didn't say it often.

There was another bout of awkward silence as they stood outside the door. "I should go in," Ginny smiled and then frowned again, clearly confused as to what she was supposed to say.

"I should leave as well," Tom stepped into the slowly forming shadows of evening. It fit him, somehow--the way they played across his face in the dimming light. His eyes looked at her strangely from the dark.

"Will--will I see you again?" Ginny asked suddenly.

"I don't know," he replied honestly. Ginny suddenly stepped forward and kissed him on the cheek.

"Goodbye," she said; and turned and walked inside.

Tom was frozen in shock, raising a hand to his cheek as if he had been burned. The more he stood like that; he relaxed. A half smile was forming on his face--genuinely warm and happy--Tom continued to stare at the door long after it was closed. He stayed like that for a moment, breathing in the feeling. Then he stepped back into the shadows, shook his head, and leaned against the wall, cold shock starting to overcome him again.

"No Tom, no. This cannot happen. You cannot belong," he whispered to himself. Standing back up, determined look on his face, he walked back towards Knockturn Alley just as the moon began to creep above the rooftops.

~~~

Take me alive

Don't wake me up

No more time to spend in hiding.

To spend in hiding

To spend in....

To spend in...

Take me alive.